Not Another Disney High School Story!
by Hyenastho
Summary: Yet another Disney high school story, but with a twist! In this mostly satirical send-up of the 2 most common types of Fanfiction stories (Mary-Sue & gratuitously erotic), a sarcastic protagonist is transported to an alternate world & given a ridiculous task: seduce as many Disney princesses as possible or never return home. Rated T for now, until it gets more scandalous.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: So, since I was a youngster (I'm in my 20's now -_- haha), I've noticed that the vast majority of FanFiction content is one of 2 things: Mary-Sue stories (where the central OC is a perfect, idealized, and painfully obvious extension of the {usually lonely teenage} author's self, transported into the world where they immediately take over and cause everyone to fall in love with them/base the plot completely around themselves) and/or erotic (where our favorite fictional characters are placed into horrifically sexual situations, often for no reason at all). So I decided to write this story as a loving/only slightly mocking homage to both of those types of stories...my literary alter ego will enter this world full of Disney characters with a shamefully perverted mission and try to drastically affect their lives, using his knowledge of their films and tropes. Hopefully, it's entertaining to follow his story arc as he attempts to navigate his way through the various storylines and motivations of these iconic Disney characters. :p  
**

**Prologue**

Long story short, I had just watched 'Enchanted' the night before for the first time in my life. It was a Friday, it had been raining all day, and I was drunk and alone (…again. So, a typical Friday for me.) The movie was playing on a random movie channel and, feeling too lazy and cold to go out and do anything productive or social, I drank a six-pack and some wine by my lonesome while laughing my drunk ass off like the sorry bastard I was.

I think the last thing I said before passing out was, "Haha, Walt Disney, fuck you and your stupid ass movies…" (I talk to myself sometimes when I'm drunk…go ahead and JUDGE ME.)

The next morning, I felt like shit and decided that maybe taking a walk might cure my hangover. So, I put on my jacket and grabbed my backpack, which had a journal, a hoodie, and some water bottles (only one of which was filled with more alcohol) and set out for the woodsy park near my house.

Maybe ten minutes into it, I stumbled over to a bush and threw up.

"God, I suck," I said to no one in particular.

"Yeah you do," said a raspy voice.

"Aaghh!" I shrieked in a voice that was significantly less manly than I like to think I sound. I turned and saw, no lie, a striped cartoon cat lounging on a low-hanging tree branch behind me.

"Oh God," I moaned, "I'm dreaming."

"No you're not," he said. "Go ahead, pinch yourself."

For some reason, I listened to the cartoon cat. "Ouch."

"Told you!" he said gleefully. "Is your mind blown right now?"

I squinted at him. "Hey, I know who you are. You're the Cheshire Cat from 'Alice in Wonderland.' What are _you_ doing here?"

"You blasphemed against the great Walt Disney," answered the Cat. "So I was sent here to make you pay penance."

"They sent a fat, dopey cat to intimidate me?" I asked in disbelief. "Actually, that completely gels with everything I know about the man. Carry on."

"You really are a smug son of a bitch, aren't you? Is that vomit on your ear?"

"Okay, forgive me if I'm not shaking in my boots because a cartoon was sent to put the fear of God, or Walt, in me."

"You underestimate the power of Disney," said the Cat. "This is a grave mistake, my friend."

"Like you can actually do anything to me. You're not real."

"Aren't I?" he asked in a singsong voice, floating up in the air and turning upside down. I paused where I stood and really took in the fact that I was looking at a levitating cartoon cat who could speak English. This was troubling, on a number of levels.

"I'm on some serious drugs, aren't I?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Lewis Carroll was tripping balls when he wrote 'Alice in Wonderland.'"

"Ah, but I'm Disney's version of the Cheshire Cat. Disney people don't do drugs!" A malicious glint entered his eye. "Or _do _they?"

"I'm not sure what you're getting at," I said, crossing my arms.

"You sneer at what Disney has created through the years," said the Cat. "You think his iconic characters are 'lame' and 'predictable,' do you not?"

"Well, yeah," I said. "After watching 'Enchanted,' it just made me think about how stupid they all are. I would love to go to one of their worlds and own that shit, because they sure couldn't handle living in mine."

"Really!" he said, looking highly amused. "_Interesting_!"

I shrugged. "I'm just saying the truth. 'Enchanted' proved that, but it's pretty common sense. The characters in all those Disney movies are just exaggerated ideals and extremes, meant to be marketed towards children so they can sell lunchboxes and Halloween costumes."

"You think all of Disney's classic cartoon characters are shallow and two dimensional?" he asked me. "You think if they were all to exist in a world like yours, you'd be able to navigate your way with aplomb and find success wherever you sought it, because they'd be too foolish and predictable to counteract your knowledge of them? Do I have that right?"

"Wow, you're pretty long-winded for a thing that looks like it's made up of rejected crayon colors and failure."

"Answer the question."

"Seeing as they're all naïve, idealistic caricatures who are prone to breaking into song at random times," I said with a long-winded sigh of my own, "yeah, I don't think it'd be too hard to manipulate them."

The Cheshire Cat sneered. "So confident you are!"

"What are you, Yoda?"

"I don't know who that is."

"You better learn because your godless corporation owns Star Wars now."

"We're getting off-track," the Cat said. "Back to the point…you think you're so much more well-rounded and nuanced of an individual than any classic character Disney has ever animated."

"Well yeah," I said, "I'm _real_. So I'd say that's a given."

"You're 'real,' huh?" he asked thoughtfully. "Hmm. That's interesting you think that. What makes you real, exactly?"

"I talk, I think, I exist," I said.

"I'm talking right now," he said. "Thinking is overrated, but I find myself entertaining occasional thoughts now and then. And I'm in front of you right now too, so I clearly exist, don't I?"

"I don't know," I said. "I'm probably suffering from a terrible brain injury. I probably bumped my head or something. I probably have an aneurysm. God, I hope I don't die in five minutes."

"Say you didn't bump your head," said the Cat, "and say you're not on any drugs, or just dreaming, or anything."

"Okay…"

"You are looking at and interacting with me, are you not?"

"I _guess_…"

"So I exist."

"In a way."

"I'm _real_."

"Cartoons aren't real."

"Why not?"

"They're not flesh and blood."

"Neither is this tree. Or this rock. Or the sun overhead."

"Okay, but those things are tangible," I said. "They can be seen, heard, and felt."

The Cheshire Cat jetted over suddenly and slapped me across the face. He packed a wallop in that chubby little paw of his, and I nearly tumbled to the ground.

"Ow!" I cried, holding my face.

"You felt my slap, did you not?"

"What the hell, man?"

"Do I need to demonstrate my slapping abilities again?"

"No! God! I felt it the first time!"

"So _what _makes me not real then?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed. "Maybe you _are _real, I don't know. Where did you even come from, you creep?"

"What if I were to tell you that there are dimensions other than the one in which you exist?" he asked me. "What if I were to tell you that there are alternate realities containing beings that may be thought of as mere fantasy in certain other dimensions, including…your _own_, perhaps?"

I thought about this. It was certainly remotely possible, from a scientific perspective, that our imaginations were really connected to some state of alternate consciousness. The idea that our dreams existed in a different plain of reality, that they were subconscious glimpses into fantastic worlds not privy to the same limiting laws of physics as our own. Maybe we didn't ever make anything up; maybe everything we thought up came from another world, one that only our minds could access when we thought creatively.

"Okay, it's possible," I admitted, "but it's a pretty sketchy concept."

"You've watched and read plenty of stories where people from the so-called 'real world' are placed into fantasy worlds, storybook worlds, and get caught up in some type of quest or are embroiled in the various dramatics of the realm they're transported to," the Cat said. "And you've seen our movie 'Enchanted' where a stereotypical naïve and innocent Disney princess is placed into the real world, with amusing results."

"Yeah, okay, go on."

"Well, I'm putting before you an option that is both similar to and very different from both of those experiences. What if there was another world that mostly resembles yours in terms of reality and appearance? No evil witches or fanciful fairies, no fearsome dragons or talking animals, no dashing princes or angelic princesses, and no _magic_, at least not in the ways that you know? And in this world exists many of the characters of your childhood that you once loved and now jeer at, but they are tailored to this reality, have grown up in it their whole lives and know nothing different? Instead of being princesses, princes, warriors, and villains, they are cheerleaders, bookworms, athletes, criminals, and altogether regular people? What if they all went to the same high school, but they were still true to the spirits of their original incarnations?"

"I don't know," I said, "If they were true to the versions I've seen, that'd be pretty hilarious seeing them in high school, I guess. I imagine it'd be a fairly ridiculous place."

"Perhaps," said the Cat, "Or maybe it would be infinitely closer to your own experiences than you would ever expect."

"Doubtful," I said. "Disney isn't exactly known for its realistic portrayals."

"I think you may find that you vastly overestimate your own originality and significance," said the Cat. "You know your own perception of existence and you think that it's all that is real, because it's all you know. You think you're so much better written or thought out than so-called 'fictional' characters, don't you?"

"Yeah, seeing as I'm not 'written' or 'thought out,'" I said. "Since I actually exist beyond the realms of a page or a computer, I'd say that's a safe bet."

"That's what you think!" crowed the Cat. "For all you know, someone is reading your story right now! For all you know, everybody has their story being read by somebody else."

"Far out," I said sarcastically. "You should really have used this shtick in the Sixties; they would have loved you."

"I'm going to give you the chance to prove yourself right," he said, "or wrong. I'm going to send you to a place where the mundane has replaced the fantastical, where the ordinary has taken over for the extraordinary. You feel so superior that it should be easy for you to remain aloft from the people you will find around you. You won't have to worry about making emotional attachments or getting caught up in the struggles they face. You'll be aloof, distant, sealed off from the rest of them, because you come from such a starkly different world…this one will seem silly by comparison. Let me ask you something, Shane. Do you believe in true love?"

I started to laugh. "How very 'Disney' of you. Are you gonna start singing 'When You Wish Upon a Star' to me now?"

"It's a valid question."

"Okay," I said, "The best I can say to that is I don't know. I've never personally been in love and I think the whole concept of 'true love' sounds a little like horseshit, but then again I'm a cynical twenty-something who hates a lot of things. Maybe it exists for all I know, but I've never come close to experiencing it."

"So you aren't worried about falling in love with any fictional characters then."

I burst out laughing again. "You're kidding, right?"

The Cheshire Cat started to laugh too, which was a little unnerving. "No, no, I'm serious. I'm just checking to make sure I know exactly who I'm doing this to."

"If I magically transport to some world with these Disney characters," I said, "I might do my best to bone every single princess I can, but I'm not gonna _fall in love _with characters that don't exist!"

"Right, right," he said, "because you exist and they don't. I remember. Very good, very good."

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway."

"So what do you say?"

"Can I go pack some clothes and withdraw some money first?" I asked, only half mockingly.

"No."

"Why not?" I demanded.

"Because fuck you, that's why!" he proclaimed joyously.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm not exactly sure I want to do this anymore."

"Well it's too late for that!" he said with a grin. "You're already in over your head."

"Ha!" I scoffed. "I'll do what I want, you fat stupid cat. You can't stop me."

His laughter began to increase in both intensity and volume. Simultaneously, storm clouds began to gather above us as thunder rumbled. Truth be told, it was all a little off-putting. I glanced around my surroundings nervously, wondering if some other hiker would unwittingly stumble upon this scene and see a maniacal illustrated cat laughing his furry ass off.

But nobody came.

"You're about to become an eighteen year old senior again," said the Cat, "attending the idyllic Disney High School, which has a sterling educational reputation, by the way."

"Eighteen?" I questioned. "I don't want to go through _that_ again!"

"Don't worry," said the Cat, "you'll look virtually the same as you do now. And you'll have all your thoughts and memories and that depraved sense of humor you do now. But you won't be here in the now anymore at all."

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked, looking up at the storm clouds. They were really getting crazy now. Part of me told me I should start running for shelter, but another part said that I wouldn't get very far if I tried.

"You'll love it!" exclaimed the Cheshire Cat. "It's perfect for you and your vile nature."

"So what is it?"

"You'll have a checklist of Disney princesses and heroines," he continued. "All you have to do is cause them to fall for you. Simple enough."

"All of them?" I asked. "That could take forever. Do they all know each other? Bitches be getting jealous and all."

"Because I like to give people a sporting chance when I place ironic curses upon them," said the Cat, "I'll cut you a break. You don't have to seduce _all _of them, but there is a minimum number you must attain, a number which you will not be told."

"What does this even entail?" I asked. "Make them 'fall for me,' what does that even mean?"

"If you can cause a princess to emotionally or physically give herself up to you, you will meet the requirement for that princess."

"So…" I said slowly, hardly believing my ears, "…hypothetically speaking, if I boink them, I can check their name off the list."

"Sure!" he exclaimed. "That'd work! If you think you can, of course. Get in their pants, I mean. Or should I say their beautiful dresses? Of course, carnal knowledge is only one form of intimacy, but then again, you don't believe in true love, do you?"

"This is a pretty diabolical task you're setting before me."

"Isn't it, though?" He could hardly contain his grin. "I think you might enjoy it, no?"

I shrugged, a guilty grin of my own manifesting itself on my face. "You're asking me to almost literally rape my childhood...or to at least consensually fuck it. Hmm. Well…it doesn't sound like it'll improve my emotional health, but what the hell? I'm a horrible person already. I'm in."

"Wonderful!" hissed the Cat.

I began to feel all tingly inside. That was new. I held my limbs out and looked at them. Was that fairy dust falling from them?

"Oh and one more thing!" he added. "There's a catch!"

I looked up at him questioningly.

"You can't become emotionally attached to any of them."

"I can't even make friends?" I asked. "Well that sucks. I want to at least have fun on this acid trip from Disney Hell."

"Oh, you can make all the friends you want," he said, "but the second you start to develop real feelings for any of them, the moment you begin to get embroiled in their lives to a degree that you don't feel like you can walk away at the drop of a hat, or of a _glass slipper_, then that will be when you risk becoming trapped there forever. The whole point of this endeavor is for you to prove that you are superior to them, more _human _than them, and that you don't all belong in the same kind of world. You have to do better than these miserable creatures. If you begin to grow emotionally attached to any of them, that separation evaporates. You become interchangeable, and you cannot return to this world of yours that you claim is so much deeper and true."

I frowned and processed this, starting to feel tinges of doubt for the first time. But then again, how could there be any risk here? All I had to do was remind myself that none of them were real, and that I was. I mean, right?

"Is there a time limit?" I asked.

"No time limit," he said. "You have all the time you need. However long it takes to get through the required number. And if you succeed, you will return to this very spot without any time having passed in your world. Now, are you ready?"

I gulped. "Not really, but…I guess."

The Cat grinned and for a moment, he almost looked positively demonic.

"Make sure to keep all arms and legs inside the inter-dimensional portal and, please, no flash photography."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as thunder rumbled. Then, suddenly, the clouds parted and a bolt of white hot lightning shot down, right down on top of me.

I only heard the Cheshire Cat say one last thing before the bright electrical energy overtook me.

"And remember! Don't fall in love!"

And then everything went black.

**So there's the Prologue, containing my pretentious justification for the ridiculous plot of this story :p...All reviews are welcome and appreciated, including flames (the more creative the better haha) The next few Chapters will be uploaded soon!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hello again, everyone (…anyone?) Here's Chapter One, as our hero begins his crazy journey through this not-so-magical world of Disney **

**Chapter One**

"Shane Barrera, Mr. Jafar will you see now."

I groggily opened my eyes, feeling as though I had just survived riding a merry-go-round in a tornado. Upside down. Where the hell was I?

I was sitting on a bench in the hallway outside of an administrative office, in an apparent high school. I was dressed the same, I felt the same, and I had my backpack still. But this was a place I had never been.

Painted on the yellow walls were things like "Disney High School" and "Go Lions!" The mascot looked a hell of a lot like full-grown Simba, pouncing upon a shrimpy dork wearing football pads (and different, drabber school colors.)

"Shane Barrera?" said the pleasantly plump gray-haired lady at the desk. "Mr. Jafar is ready for you."

Wait a second. I recognized that voice. It sounded like syrup and honey and sugar cookies.

"Mrs. Potts?" I shouted suddenly, a little too loud.

"Uh, yes?" she asked, eying me as though I had escaped from the zoo.

"You're not a teapot," I observed. "You're a person."

"Thank you for noticing," she said, one eyebrow slowly rising. I saw one hand twitch, as though she were internally debating whether to grab the phone and call for security.

"I'm a little excited," I said, trying to cover. "It's my first day."

"It's everyone's first day, dear."

"Well, I mean, at this school. How old am I? Oh yeah, 18. I'm 18. Do I look 18 to you? I haven't seen a mirror yet."

She stared at me for a good four or five awkward seconds before saying, "I think it's best if we don't keep Mr. Jafar waiting."

"Right," I said. "Sorry."

"It's just in there," she said, pointing to a red door.

I walked stiffly over to the door, feeling it better that I didn't make any sudden movements that might result in her pulling a shotgun out from under the desk or something. Though this little hallway and office _seemed _normal, I couldn't be sure this wasn't some world where secretaries weren't trained in firearms and hand to hand combat.

'I'd destroy you, Potts,' I thought, looking back at her for a second with squinty eyes. 'If it came down to it, I'd take you down without a second thought.'

Thinking the words 'take you down' in reference to a female immediately sprung forth to my shamefully dirty mind the obvious double entendre, and I wondered with a panic, 'Oh God, she's not one of the targets, right? Please, God, don't let her be one of the targets.'

Could God even _hear _me in this realm? DID GOD EVEN EXIST?

"The door is unlocked…" Mrs. Potts said, still staring at me.

Apparently I had been standing there in front of the door having this internal debate for a socially unacceptable amount of time, and Mrs. Potts had noticed.

"Thank you," I said, trying to recover. "You have a lovely singing voice. Also, I loved 'Murder, She Wrote.'"

She just stared at me as though I had kicked her dog and I hastily opened the door and stepped inside.

Damn. I would have to do better at flying under the radar if I was to avoid being sent to the loony bin. I was going to need to be _suave._

"Sit down," said a rather slithery voice.

Sitting at a big black desk was none other than Jafar from 'Aladdin,' dressed in an ugly suit. He was tall, dark, and not at all handsome, with a spider-thin build and big ugly eyes. He had a scraggly goatee and a half-bald head. I noticed with amusement that he had a red parrot perched up in a cage in the back corner.

"Iago!" I exclaimed. "My man! How's it going?"

The bird didn't react, not even a little, and Jafar looked strangely at me.

"How do you know my bird's name?"

Uh-oh.

"Uh, you said it just now."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No, I _didn't_."

"Hmm," I said. "Well, Iago's a pretty common parrot name, so…"

"That is not true whatsoever."

"_Pretty _much _every _parrot I've ever come across has been named Iago," I said, trying to sound as truthful as possible (and failing miserably.)

Jafar narrowed his eyes. "Sit down."

I did so. He opened up a file and examined it silently for a few seconds while I looked around. There was a big hourglass sitting in the side of the room, which made me chuckle to myself. Jafar stopped reading and looked up at me suspiciously. I quickly shut the hell up and he gradually went back to reading my file.

"So, Mr. Barrera, it says here that you are a senior transfer from Shit-Stain High School located in the city of Bum-Fuck, USA."

"It does not say that."

"I am looking at your transcripts right in front of me."

"That goddamn Cheshire Cat," I growled.

"Mr. Barrera, you are exceedingly odd, do you know that?" Jafar asked me, sitting back in his seat and clasping his hands together. He examined me as though he was a giant snake and I was a tiny, chubby little mouse named Gus-Gus or something else equally stupid and adorable.

"I…have been told that, yes," I said, also sitting back in my seat and folding my hands. He narrowed his eyes again.

"You're not going to stir up trouble at my school, are you?" he asked. "I've been a guidance counselor for a long time and I have a keen sense of sensing trouble. And you, boy…you rub me the wrong way."

"Would you say I rub you like a…magic lamp?" I asked. (I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself. Could you, in my shoes? Well, there's a reason the Cat sent me and not you, so nyah.)

"Do I _look_ like I have much of a sense of humor?" Jafar snarled.

"No, sir, I can honestly say you don't."

"Then kindly abstain from making any more jokes in my presence, if you know what's good for you."

"I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting any villains to be here," I said. "I was caught a little off guard."

"_What?_"

Oops.

"Nothing," I quickly said. "Nothing."

Looking as if he wanted nothing more than to wring my neck, Jafar slid a piece of paper out to me. I took it and glanced down at it.

"What we have printed here is your class schedule. Everything should be relatively easy to find. There is five minutes between every class; do not be late. Lunch is after fourth period. There are six periods in a given school day." He was quiet for a moment before saying in a low voice, "We have a reputation here at Disney High for academic excellence. We do not tolerate truancy or misbehavior of any kind. I sincerely hope for your sake that you do not find that out the hard way. Or we _will _be seeing each other again."

I stood up, feeling his black eyes bore into me.

"I truly hope that doesn't happen, sir," I said. Jafar didn't seem convinced.

"Mrs. Potts will direct you to the door. First period begins in twenty-five minutes."

It was out of the frying pan and into the anthropomorphic talking oven.

**Chapter 2 will be up soon! All reviews are welcome and appreciated (including flames, if you feel so inclined haha) Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

It was my first day of school in this bizarre world. And I was completely at a loss as to how to proceed.

I glanced down at the schedule Jafar had printed out for me. English, in Classroom 4A. I had absolutely no idea where that was. I decided to pick a path to wander aimlessly in, and hope that I would get some sense of direction from the classroom numbers I saw.

Besides, didn't Disney characters do that all the time? Set off wandering innocently through the woods or some mess, and then unwittingly stumble across adventure? It seemed like a likely prospect, but I couldn't be sure what kind of adventure I would encounter.

'Hopefully not one involving stampedes of crazed wildebeest,' I thought to myself, shuddering.

Why was I suddenly feeling unsure of myself? None of these characters I was supposed to be encountering were going to be anything like real people. They weren't going to be three dimensional, thinking, feeling individuals who even remotely resembled the complicated, imperfect creatures that were human beings in the real world, the one which I was from. How could they be? They were simply idealistic archetypes, stock characters in Walt Disney's world of make believe, manufactured almost solely to sell the most merchandise they could while simultaneously offending the least amount of people possible. All I had to do was find some that I recognized, and I'd be able to manipulate them with ease. I had a pretty working knowledge of most of their films, and that gave me a huge advantage. I was practically psychic, for all intents and purposes. I'd really have to be an epic failure to screw that up.

So I drifted like a teenage tumbleweed guided by a neutral wind, down the path leading from the main administrative office out to a cluster of academic buildings. The campus was truly beautiful, much nicer than any school I had attended in my world. It was as though Disneyland had built itself a high school, which made sense, really.

The grass was soft and perfectly manicured, with not a blade out of place with the rest. The trees were tall and strong, full of vibrant green leaves that grew in heavy clusters on long branches that stretched out far and high over the ground below, providing numerous options for shade if I so desired to seek some. The sky was a ridiculously luminescent blue, highlighted by an intensely burning sun overhead. And yet, despite how brightly the sun seemed to be shining, the temperature was a perfect middle ground between pleasantly cool and not so hot that walking from class to class would cause one to break a sweat.

I half expected a squirrel or various other adorable woodland creatures to come running out and start talking to me. But that didn't happen.

What did happen was I noticed a host of students were heading in all and every direction. Most of them seemed pretty confident about where they were going. To my dismay, they actually looked like pretty normal, average, everyday teenagers you would find in any nondescript high school across real America. I had been expecting dashing prince types and gorgeous princesses to be filling these halls, but clearly, that was not the case.

I noticed that a cluster of younger looking students seemed to be hesitating over by a stone drinking fountain. Assuming them to be freshmen, I moseyed on over towards their direction. Two of them in particular caught my eye.

"What is wrong with you, Alice?" asked a cute little redhead. She had big bright blue eyes and a petite body underneath her lavender colored tank top, which showed off her midriff. Despite her red hair (which was truly red and not orange), she didn't have freckles, which I wasn't really a fan of anyway, so no complaints there. This was no Lindsay Lohan.

"Whaaat…?" mumbled her friend in a vaguely annoyed voice, as though she were groggy and distracted. She had her long blonde hair pushed back in a black headband, and blue eyes that seemed to be a bit glazed over. She was dressed in an oversized sweater, leggings, and sneakers. Clearly, she was a girl who opted for comfort. I couldn't say for sure, but it almost seemed as though she were under of the influence of a particular recreational green herb.

"You're so spacey all the time," said the redhead. "Even today, on the first day of school, I would _think _you'd want to focus and be alert. But _nooo…_"

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired," said Alice. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"What, were you too_ excited?" _

"Sure."

"Well I _definitely _was. I could barely sleep. But I did. Fall asleep, I mean."

After listening to her giddy rambling for another seemingly endless few seconds, I suddenly recognized who she and her friend were. They were Ariel, of Little Mermaid fame, and Alice in Wonderland, respectively. They were definitely cute, but also most definitely underage.

'This could get in the way of my goal,' I thought to myself. What were the moral constraints regarding age of consent in a world populated by fictional characters? Did the same rules still apply? Even if they didn't, my own mental barriers found the thought of seducing underage teens to be distasteful. At the very least, it made me feel squeamish. I wasn't sure I'd be able to go through with it, at least not right off the bat.

Still, they were the only characters that I recognized, and I didn't know where else to go or who to talk to, so I tepidly approached them.

"My sister has been so annoying lately," Ariel droned on. "She thinks that just because she's cheer captain, she's, like, queen bitch of the world, or something. I don't even think she deserves to be cheer captain, it should be Jasmine, she's _way _more glamorous…are you even listening to me?"

Alice blinked a few times and glanced at her. "What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm listening."

"What's _wrong _with you?" Ariel demanded.

I swooped in behind them. "Whoa, you are totally stoned right now."

Both equally caught off guard, they turned to look up at me. I was no giant, but they were both really short, only an inch or two above five feet tall. I was close to six feet myself, so I towered over the two freshmen.

"Who are _you?" _asked Ariel, her eyes big, as though she were surprised to see someone older paying her the time of day.

"Nobody special," I responded. "I'm new here, so I'm not exactly sure where I'm going, but I definitely recognize the face of someone who's been smoking marijuana, and your little friend here…"

I trailed off and pointed at Alice, who was just staring agape at me, like she couldn't fathom the idea of some stranger blowing the lid off her dirty little secret.

Ariel slowly turned to look at Alice, and the light bulb turned on.

"Alice!" she exclaimed, shocked. "You're not! Are you?"

"What?" Alice stammered. "N-no, of course not."

"Yes you are!" Ariel gasped. "Oh my God, yes you _are_! You're totally stoned! Who the heck gets high right before the first day of school?!"

"Shut up!" Alice whispered. She shot me a dirty look. "I don't know who you are, but you're totally lame, man."

I held my hands up. "Hey, I'm not judging. I was just intrigued, is all. You must be some kind of rebel."

"Not even."

"It's just because of her sister's crowd," Ariel muttered. "They're all burnouts. _Clearly _Alice here is not above the influence of the peer pressure of older kids."

"Oh, please, like you wouldn't do naked cartwheels for Eric if he ever gave you the time of day," snapped Alice.

"Go to hell!" squeaked Ariel, pushing her. Alice was too stoned to push her back. She just sort of stumbled over a few steps away.

"So, uh, my name's Shane," I said, outstretching my hand. They both glanced over at it before Ariel took it with an enthusiastic shake. She beamed up at me and I have to admit, I felt a little pleased with myself. She just seemed so instantly adoring.

'This might be easier than I thought.'

"So you're new?" Ariel asked. "You're not a freshman, are you?"

"He's obviously too old, unless, of course, he's retarded," said Alice. "Like _you." _Clearly, she hadn't forgiven me for blowing the whistle on her little weed dalliance.

"Shut up, Alice!"

"I'm a senior," I responded.

"Ooh, that must be tough, changing schools in your last year," said Ariel. "My older sister Aurora's a senior…but she's super stuck up. You wouldn't want to meet her. Alice's sister Cindy is nice, though. She's a senior too."

"If you meet her, don't tell her about the weed thing," mumbled Alice. "She doesn't approve."

"Deal," I said. "Hey, do you guys know where Building 4 is? I'm looking for my English class and I'm not really familiar with the campus."

"We don't really know our way around either," Ariel admitted. "We both missed orientation."

Exploring shipwrecked boats and getting attacked by sharks? I couldn't help but wonder. That wasn't likely in this world, so I figured she had most likely gone off exploring some abandoned mall or something. As for Alice, if I had to guess, she had probably gotten stoned while watching trippy YouTube videos and passed out. Both behaviors would be in character for these two.

"But we have someone who's gonna show us around," Ariel continued.

"Your sister?" I asked.

"Ew, no," said Ariel, making a face. "Like she would _ever_. It's this nice senior girl, Belle, who works at the library. That's how Alice met her. She's super nice, and like, _really _smart."

"I think she's the smartest girl in the whole school," said Alice.

"Who's the smartest girl in the whole school?" asked a familiar sounding voice.

I recognized Belle instantly. She was a brunette of medium height and I could easily see the intelligence in her warm brown eyes. They were big eyes and heavily lidded, with long lashes. Her makeup was modest, as was her attire. She was a natural beauty who didn't seem preoccupied by it. Underneath her light blue sweater and jeans, she had the slender frame of a girl who was naturally thin, but wasn't necessarily super active. Her pale skin gave the impression that she spent most of her time inside. Reading, I presumed, though I wondered what kind of books they had here.

I was sure they had the classics, but did they have modern authors? Did Belle stay up reading Stephen King or Dean Koontz to herself at night? Was she a Palahniuk chick? That'd be cool. She seemed like the type, but maybe she was too pure. Did they even _have _Palahniuk here? I doubted she read big-sellers like James Patterson (she was definitely too much of a hipster to like something so mainstream) but I would bet she'd be into JK Rowling. Did this Disney Universe have Harry Potter in it? That'd be pretty funny.

A terrible thought entered my mind, and I quickly murdered it with a shovel and buried it in a shallow unmarked grave (figuratively speaking, of course.) Did…did…_Twilight _exist here? I couldn't bear to consider the possibility. But there was totally the terrible chance Belle would be into it…she liked romances and the supernatural, but she also liked thrilling swordfights, and the Twilight series was devoid of any intriguing action whatsoever. (If you are a tween or teen girl reading this, do not bother to argue with me; you are too naïve and misguided to know any better, but someday you'll see the light. And it will _sparkle gloriously._)

'I bet you're into Salinger,' I mused. '_I'm _into Salinger, so that works out. Yeah, I bet you really dig Salinger.'

"Hi, Belle," Ariel piped up, shaking me from my thoughts. "This is Shane."

I smiled at her and she looked at me for a moment before returning my smile with her own little demure version. In those couple seconds, I could tell she had sized me up and was wondering what a guy my age was doing talking to two little freshmen.

Uh-oh. Her creeper radar was going off. I knew I'd have to lay on the charm, but she didn't seem half as naïve as Ariel or oblivious as Alice. This might be trouble.

"He's new here," Ariel added nervously after a couple seconds of silence from Belle's part.

"Really," said Belle, crossing her arms. "Changing schools as a senior? That's interesting. Did you get in trouble at your old one?"

"Yeah," I said without thinking. "I impregnated too many underclassmen, so they kicked me out."

Instant disaster.

Alice brought up a hand to her face, as though she were ashamed of my stupidity, and I immediately regretted the dumb joke. Risqué, sarcastic humor probably wasn't in very high demand or usage in this pure little Disney world, and a respectable girl like Belle definitely wouldn't be impressed by it. I would have to backtrack.

"Wow," said Belle, staring at me as though I were a foul-smelling bug.

While I was right about _her _reaction, Ariel, on the other hand, seemed to eat my stupid joke right up. Her eyes widened and then she burst out laughing. She slapped my shoulder lightly and said, "That's _hilarious! _Oh my God, you're like, _really _funny!"

I smiled a little uneasily and said to Belle, "That was just a joke."

Her expression was placid. "Funny."

"I just moved out here with my family," I continued, figuring that was as good and believable an explanation as any. "So I don't really know anyone or anything about the school yet. How is it, as far as high schools go?"

"Well there's not much special about it," Belle responded. "There's not a whole lot of individuality or creative thinking here, so if you don't like standing out for your mind or character, this is the place for you. Do you play sports?"

I hesitated before answering, "I played football back in high school-er, my last high school."

Belle's nose wrinkled slightly. "A football player. I might have guessed."

"Do you…not like sports?"

"Not particularly. It's not that I find anything wrong with sports inherently, it's just that a lot of the so-called jocks at our school are a bunch of shallow, insufferable morons."

I examined her face again. She was sort of a hard duck to figure out. Definitely not the easiest Disney girl to manipulate; in fact, if I thought about it, she was bound to be one of the most difficult. Perhaps it would be better to focus my attentions elsewhere. Then again, she was pretty foxy. Decisions, decisions.

"You have quite the vocabulary," I said finally.

"Mm, yeah, imagine that," said Belle, "a girl who's actually cracked open a book."

"You're so bitter, Belle," said Ariel. "He didn't mean anything by it."

"I know," she said, "I'm just always suspicious of guys who are entertained by chasing a ball up and down a field, and then smashing into each other over it."

Her jaded views on sports and the mainstream populace at school all but confirmed to me that I was right about her liking Salinger. I was half expecting her to start ranting about how everybody was a bunch of big, stupid phonies.

"Maybe you'd be more into volleyball," I said. "All people smash is the ball, not each other."

She smirked (which I counted as a VICTORY) and said, "Not so much. Anyway, follow me and I'll show you guys where your classrooms are."

**{Time to go to class! Who do you think Shane will run into next? Once again, all reviews are appreciated, including flames (flame away if you **_**must**_**, but try to be memorable) and also any feedback/suggestions/requests (although the next few chapters have already been written haha.) Thanks for reading!}**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

It didn't take long to find Ariel's and Alice's class in the math building. Before they disappeared with the rest of their ninth grade classmates, Ariel wrapped me up in a big hug.

"Bye, Shane!" she exclaimed before releasing and running off to join Alice.

"That was quick," I mumbled to myself. I thought about my checklist of Disney heroines to boink. So far, Ariel was definitely Prime Candidate No. 1, but she was just so damn _young! _Too bad Belle seemed so strong and self-respecting. She was a total babe.

"Hmm?" asked Belle.

"Nothing."

"The English and history building is across the way from here," said Belle.

"What's your first period class?" I asked as I followed her out the doors and down the steps leading to the white concrete below. I was like a retarded, loyal puppy. It was possible my pathetic vulnerability might endear me to her…but was she even one of the princesses with an affinity for cute little creatures? I wasn't so little, but I definitely had the social skills of a wild animal, so one could hope.

"English," she responded without looking back at me.

"Oh really?" I asked. "Maybe we'll be in the same class together."

This got her to stop and look back at me in amusement. "I don't think so. I'm in Honors."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you are."

"What a surprise, right? I practically live in the library so it makes sense."

"Does the school have a nice one?"

"It's okay," she said as we entered a building that almost looked like some kind of castle in its old-timey design. "I actually work part-time over at the city library a couple blocks away. It's absolutely gorgeous, much better than our school library."

"Maybe I should check it out sometime," I said. "I love reading."

Belle paused again as we came to a flat area between the flights of stairs. She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. "Are you just saying that to try and impress me?"

I tried to look as honest and pure as possible as I returned her gaze. I knew I probably looked as pure and innocent as a fox in a henhouse, but for once, I was actually telling the truth. I hoped it would be easily apparent.

"No, I swear. I really like reading."

"Huh," she said, going over this in her mind. "That's surprising."

Suddenly, as though carried by lightning, inspiration struck.

"Maybe _you _shouldn't be so quick to judge a book by its cover," I said, mentally forcing myself not to laugh at my hilarious pun. "Pardon the expression. I mean, true beauty is found within, right?"

With that last quip, I knew I was throwing caution to the wind, but I thought it was a worthwhile gamble. In the movie, it took her man what seemed like years to learn that lesson and here I was spouting it off within ten minutes of meeting her? That _had _to give me serious brownie points. Maybe even _all _the brownie points.

At any rate, Belle's eyes seemed to light up and she gave me the first real smile I had seen on her face all day. "You know what, you're right. I'm sorry for judging you earlier. Really. My apologies."

"Apology accepted," I said. "I can definitely use all the friends I can find out here."

Still smiling, she extended her hand and I shook it. She had very soft skin. Like velvety, soft velvet. Was that redundant? I don't care. I like velvet. (I don't think I've ever touched real velvet. I'm not even really sure what it looks like.)

"Well nice to _really _meet you, Shane."

"Likewise."

"Our classrooms are up this way," she said and then darted up the stairs. I followed her up and we came to a hallway that was filled with lockers on either side.

"That's your class," Belle said, pointing at a door with a number '4' on it. "Mine is Number 6, right across from it."

"That's where the smart kids are, huh?" I asked.

"I don't know how much smarter everyone else is but the homework's definitely more difficult."

We both smiled at each other again and I wasn't positive, but I thought that we might actually be having a _moment_, although I wasn't sure if it was one based on attraction or just friendship. I didn't really care; I was relieved to have somebody who wasn't altogether mentally incompetent actually approve of me.

"Belle!" said a female voice.

We turned to see two people come out of Belle's classroom door. The girl had light brown hair and a modest blue dress on. The boy looked like a total nerd, super skinny and awkward-looking with oversized glasses, a bowtie, and a sweater vest.

"Shane, these are my friends Wendy Darling and Milo Thatch," said Belle. "They're in our Senior Class Council with me. Milo and Wendy, meet Shane."

Wendy smiled politely at me ("Hello") and Milo shook my hand. His palm was sweaty and he looked like he was more than a little insecure by my presence. If he found _me _to be intimidating, I could only imagine what a living hell his life must have been at a school presumably populated almost entirely by Prince Charmings.

"I'm not, I'm not sure we've…" he stuttered, adjusting his glasses, "…have I seen you before?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm new. Today's my first day. I'm still getting a feel of things."

"Oh. Well…here's hoping you like it here. It can take some getting used to."

Wendy turned to Belle, all business. "We have our first meeting at lunch in Mrs. Flora's room."

"Already?" asked Belle. She seemed less than thrilled.

"You can never get started too early!" Wendy said brightly. I noticed she had a cute little English accent to go with her obvious Type "A" personality.

"You guys must really enjoy Class Council," I said.

"It's all right," mumbled Milo.

"Oh, it's the best!" Wendy replied. "It's too bad it's too late for you to try and run for a position. We had all our elections right before last summer."

What a disappointment. Not.

"Darn," I said. "What positions are you guys?"

"Well _I'm _Class Secretary, which is a position I adore. I love reading, writing, and bookkeeping. It's like keeping track of all of our personal little stories. Milo is Treasurer and Belle is Vice President. She really _should _be President, though, if you ask me."

Belle was quick to point out, "He didn't."

I grinned. "Who _is_ the Class President then?"

"Eric," muttered Milo, a shadow passing over his face. Just saying the guy's name caused him to stare down at the ground and frown as though the mere thought brought him pain.

Wendy leaned in and whispered to me, "Belle's ex-boyfriend."

"O-_kay_, I think Shane here has heard all he could ever want to hear about our exhilarating lives as Class Council Officers," said Belle. "Let's let him get to class, shall we?"

Before anybody could respond, however, we heard the loud slamming of a locker. We turned to see a tall, swaggering figure in a tight-fitting Ed Hardy tee approaching down the hall, flanked by several other guys.

"Oh no," moaned Belle.

I recognized exactly who the approaching brute was: Gaston, the incredibly narcissistic and daft douchebag from Beauty and the Beast. What I was now looking at was a younger, somewhat less massive version of himself, with shorter black hair. Still, the guy was yoked, a good 6'3" and a solid 210 pounds, at the minimum. That meant he had me by about four inches and at least 30 pounds. He wasn't a guy I wanted to tangle with, if I could avoid it.

Walking in stride behind him were three seniors about his age. The first two guys were both around my height and solidly built. One was Chinese, with slicked back hair, and the second guy looked to be Native American, with long black hair that reached past his shoulders. They both looked extremely serious. I was guessing they were Shang, from Mulan, and somebody from Pocahontas. What was that one stud warrior guy's name? Coco or something equally ridiculous. I couldn't remember.

The third guy was short, squat, and ugly as sin. He seemed to be Gaston's loyal little toady, LeFou, who I found funny in the film, but realized would probably be way less tolerable in real life.

The crowd of students in the hallways quickly parted for Gaston and his posse like he was Moses leading the Jews through the Red Sea. That reminded me, I wanted to ask Belle or some of the other characters what their views on Jews were (just to see if the anti-Semitic rumors about Disney were true.) What can I say; I have a taste for scandal.

"Hey there, Milo," said Gaston. Without breaking stride, he used one arm to send poor twiggy little Milo crashing into a locker, below which he proceeded to fall in a heap on the ground. Wendy quickly crouched next to him to see if he was all right while LeFou burst out laughing. Shang and the Native American fellow remained stoic and motionless.

Gaston leaned one beefy arm against a locker and loomed over Belle, grinning what he clearly thought was a mirror of seduction, but looked more like an over-muscled rhino trying to force its teeth out through its cleft chin.

"Belle," he purred. "It's been too long."

"What's your problem, Gaston?" she snapped.

The bastard actually seemed perplexed as to what had her so worked up, but after a second or two, his feeble mind managed to figure it out. He looked down at Milo, who was anxiously puffing through an inhaler, and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. That was meant to be a little love tap. Milo, you should really get into the gym more often, you have the build of an eleven year old girl."

LeFou burst out laughing again and high-fived his buddy. "Nice one, Gaston!"

I glanced over at him and said, "Well, aren't you annoying."

LeFou looked up at me and frowned, confused as to whom this stranger was that felt brave enough to talk smack to somebody who had clearly ingratiated himself with the jocks.

"I have absolutely no patience for your barbarianism, Gaston," said Belle, "nor do I have even the slightest desire to look at you for longer than a second at a time."

"It's a pretty sexy second, though, huh?" he asked, winking.

She closed her eyes and cringed. "I hate you."

"Come on, Belle," Gaston said. "You can't mean that. I know I'm a little rough around the edges for your taste, but we clearly have a connection."

"Gaston, you have a _girlfriend!_" she shrieked. "Why are you constantly harassing me?"

Gaston waved this off. "Yeah, but she's not a problem. Just say the word, Belle, and I can make you Prom Queen."

"As if I care _at all _about such a ridiculous reinforcement of shallow stereotypes enforced by insipid high school hierarchies."

Gaston frowned. "You're throwing a lot of words at me that I don't understand, so I'm going to go ahead and take them as flirtation."

"ARGHHHH!" Belle actually screamed in frustration and I decided it was time for me to step in.

"Okay, look, man, you should probably leave her alone now," I said, holding a neutral hand up and hoping that I would have prodigious Mary-Sue powers of peacekeeping.

Gaston slowly turned to look at me, even more taken off guard than LeFou was that I was willing to stand up to them. I noticed a small crowd of students were forming behind us, anxious to watch the wrath I was about to incur on myself.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked.

"This is my new friend Shane," said Belle. "He's a new student and I'd appreciate it if you left him alone."

"He's obviously not very smart," Gaston said, still looking at me.

"I'm not trying to start anything-" I started to say, still hoping he would want to instantly become my best friend. Maybe he would even become my personal bodyguard.

"Too late for that, bro!" cried LeFou, but Gaston shoved him stumbling back, waiting to see what I had to say.

"-but the girl clearly wants her space, and that's her right as an American, is it not?" I continued. I paused for a second and then said, "Wait, we're in America, right?"

I heard whispers going on behind me. Behind Gaston, Shang leaned in and said something to Coco-whatever-his-name-was that I couldn't make out.

"Let me explain something, butt-muncher," said Gaston. "I don't know how they did things at your old school or who you were there, but here, it's my turf. If you don't wanna find that out the hard way, I suggest you keep your mouth shut and stay away from Belle here."

It was worth a shot. Oh well. I decided it was time to screw it and channel my inner smart-ass.

"Maybe if you took your own advice," I responded slowly, "Belle might like you as much as she already likes me…_homeboy_."

This got an "OHHHHHH…" reaction from the crowd. (Apparently, some stupid crowd reactions are universal to all different high schools, even those populated with fantasy characters.)

Fury filled Gaston's face and he stepped forward menacingly, but Shang quickly grabbed his arm and yanked him back. Gaston whirled on him but Shang was steely in his gaze.

"We can't have our starting quarterback get in a fight on the first day of school," warned Shang. He lowered his voice and said, "There'll be a time for it later."

The bell suddenly rang and I could see Gaston looked like he really wanted nothing more than to stomp my brains out, but I guess Shang had enough sway to deter him. He contented himself with pointing at me and saying, "This isn't over. You're dead."

Then he whirled around and stomped back down the hallway to another classroom, followed by LeFou and Coco-what's-his-name.

Shang glanced at Belle and me and said, "Your friend's going to get himself hurt."

"Whatever, Shang," snapped Belle. "The other morons, I understand, but you're too smart to enable his stupidity. You know better."

Shang just narrowed his eyes and entered the honors English class while I assisted Wendy in helping Milo up to his feet. He brushed off his sweater vest and looked up at me, shaking his head.

"You're crazy, man. Gaston is a psycho."

"Whatever," I said.

Belle put a hand on my shoulder. "I appreciate you standing up for me, but for your sake, you should probably try to lay low a little. It's only your first day. You don't want to be making enemies."

Unfortunately for me, it was much too late for that.

**{Being a Marty-Stu is harder than it looks! In fact, it may be next to impossible for our woefully inept protagonist. Don't forget to Review and give feedback (and thanks to the Guests who have.) As for you, "Troll," next time please be more specific about what kind of cancer this story gave you…I suspect it was cancer of the asshole, because you are one. Lol. Hope to hear from you all again soon.}**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

From the moment I sat down in my English class, I could hear the whispering. My lame little confrontation with Gaston had sent ripples through the present student body. Even though it shouldn't have bothered me, I could feel my ears growing hot. I was already self-conscious of the reputation that had the potential to grow into something I wasn't prepared for.

I was glad I had sat down in the back of the classroom, but students kept spying glances back at me as they whispered. I noticed three highly attractive, busty blondes that looked like they might be triplets seemed to be the most titillated of anyone by the episode. They were each wearing short little skirts-one red, one yellow, one green, and they kept looking at me with big eyes and excited giggles.

"Psst," a voice hissed. "Hey, stud."

I slowly turned to my right. Lounging in the seat next to me was a thin girl in a leather jacket, boots, and a fountain of wavy brown hair pulled back into a very long ponytail. She had on a lot of purple eye shadow underneath razor thin eyebrows, and I noticed her eyes seemed to be a violet color, kind of like Elizabeth Taylor. Her face was heart-shaped, all cheekbones, long lashes, and tiny nose framed beneath those come-hither violet eyes.

My heart started to beat faster seeing those eyes looking into mine. Something about this girl made me feel nervous. She didn't have the bright, innocent spunkiness of Ariel or the modest, understated beauty of Belle and Wendy. This girl had sort of a trailer-park kind of sexy to her, if that made sense. The kind of chick you would meet at a rock show, get drunk with, and get an awesome blow job from until she stabbed you in the kidney with a switchblade because she saw you "flirting with some roadie tramp again."

Not that I was thinking of her like a real person, or anything. It was just weird to see her physically in front of me, and not in animated form. What did I recognize her from?

"You really know how to make an entrance," she said to me in a low voice. "Where has a total slice like you been my whole life?"

"Rotting anonymous at my old high school," I said. "I sorta feel like I fell into something."

"You definitely stepped right into a big steaming pile of something," she said. "You poor baby." There was a pleasant, seductive sort of huskiness to her voice. She smiled at me and said, "I'm Meg."

Right! From Hercules. I remembered. She was one of Disney's bad-girls, as far as its heroines went. The whole rocker look was an interesting take on her too.

"Shane," I said.

Meg snickered. "Oh, I know. I heard your little pal Belle introduce you. So, let me guess. Stop me at any point if I'm on the money. You showed up, saw pretty ol' Belle with her nose in a book, thought she was an easy target to hit on because she's such a socially inept nerd, and had no idea that the biggest asshole at our school is obsessed with her."

"Uh, not exactly…" I said. "I was talking to a couple of her friends and she showed up, and then offered to take me to my first class, since hers is across from ours. I wasn't trying anything."

Meg's smile was all too knowing. "Uh huh. Sure you weren't."

The English teacher stepped into the room just then right as the late bell rang. She looked a little flustered and out of breath, but I could still see she was young, slender, and pretty, with brown hair that was maybe a shade or two lighter than Belle's. Her yellow dress also covered all the good parts, which was lame.

After closing the door and setting down her bags, she turned to address us with shining blue eyes and a big smile.

"Hello, everyone," she said. "Welcome to Senior English. I'm your instructor, Miss Porter, and I sincerely hope you'll learn a lot during this course. We have a lot to cover, but I know you are all capable of achieving success, and I will do my best to make sure that success comes to fruition."

She had an English accent like Wendy's and that pleased me for some reason. I had never had the opportunity to learn English from a British person, so it seemed like it might be a fun experience. Plus, she was easy on the eyes as far as teachers go.

The door swung open and a student with long brown dreadlocks burst inside. His forward motion sent him on a collision course seemingly straight for a cringing student sitting in his desk, but instead of smashing into him or toppling over, he stuck his hand out and used it as a springboard to propel himself up and forward. It was all done in one graceful motion, without ever breaking stride or losing balance, and he landed in front of a seat smack dab in the middle of the front of the class.

There was no doubt about who this was. Tarzan the Ape-Man, in the flesh, only now he was wearing a loose fitting T-shirt and baggy khaki cargo pants instead of a skimpy loincloth, saints be praised.

The rest of the class began to laugh. I was impressed; this guy was a serious athlete. I had seen his movie, but in person, it was something to behold. Next to me, Meg was shaking her head and rolling her eyes, as if she had seen this kind of display before.

"I'm sorry I'm late," said Tarzan. "I got lost."

Miss Porter didn't seem too amused. She crossed her arms. "You're in your fourth year on this campus, Mr. Clayton. You should know where each classroom is. Or have you spent all of your time on the football field and none of it in front of the campus directory?"

The class snickered. Tarzan's broad shoulders slumped and he sank into his seat.

"If you're late again in such a disruptive way," Miss Porter said, "I'll be forced to give you detention, I'm afraid."

The class continued to hoot and holler, embarrassing Tarzan further, and Meg said to me under her breath, "Yeah I'm sure he'd love that."

"Yes, yes, very good, class, now let's stop braying like barnyard animals and go over the syllabus, shall we?" said Miss Porter, already getting back to business.

After class ended, I walked out with the rest of the students and glanced down at my schedule. Next up was History. Apparently, it was somewhere in this same building, but probably on a different floor. The one directly below, it seemed.

The faint scent of cigarettes mixed with the stronger scent of lavender perfume invaded my personal space. I turned to see Meg next to me. I was a little startled and took a step back, which seemed to amuse her. She stepped forward, chin tilted up at me.

Clearly, she was not a gal who respected personal space. (Not that I was complaining.)

"So what you got next, Tiger?" she asked me.

"Uh, history," I stammered, still caught off guard by her confidence. "What about you?"

She shrugged. "Who cares? I'm taking a smoke break anyway."

Belle, Wendy, and Milo started approaching from their classroom and Meg cast a sidelong glance at the trio before lightly placing a couple fingers on my chest and saying, "See you around, hotshot, if you don't get pummeled by Gaston first."

I stood there, a little confounded, as she walked off in the other direction from where most of the other students were headed.

"Was that _Meg_ talking to you just now?" Wendy asked.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," I said.

"Ugh, I can't stand her," Wendy said, the disgust evident in her tone. "She's such a tramp. I'd avoid her if I were you, Shane."

"She didn't seem all that bad," I commented, firmly believing the opposite.

"She's a burnout," said Wendy. "She hangs out with all the rebels and troublemakers." Her voice dropped to a hushed whisper. "Her boyfriend is a drug dealer."

"Boyfriend?" I asked. Belle's eyebrows arched teasingly at me.

"Yeah, his name's Al," Wendy continued. "He's like our school criminal. You're better off avoiding their crowd if you don't want to get into trouble. They're worse than the jocks."

"And what are you guys?" I asked, half amused, half annoyed by her snobbishness.

"We're Class Council!" Wendy exclaimed. "Leaders of the student body! We're the heart of this school; without us, nothing would ever get done."

"We're the nerds," Milo said, looking as annoyed with Wendy as I felt. "To put it simply."

I laughed as Wendy shot him a glare. "Good to know."

Belle rolled her eyes. "Well now that you've informed Shane of our school's absurd little caste system, let's ask him if he needs help finding his next class."

"I think I'm all right," I said, showing her my schedule. "It's the floor just below us, right?"

"That's right. It says you have Professor Porter. He's Miss Porter's dad, he's this super sweet old man. I had him last year. He sort of reminds me of my father, actually."

"I'm sure he's terrifying then," I teased.

"You'd better get to your class before Gaston comes stomping around looking for you," Belle said lightly. I made a sour face and decided she was right.

History class was fortunately pretty uneventful, but I did recognize several of the princesses on my checklist. The professor seemed like a nice guy, but I made a point of trying to stay under the radar, and didn't really talk to anyone. I didn't want to risk drawing the wrath of any of Gaston's cronies, whoever they might be. The Native American guy was in this class (I found out his name was Glen Kocoum…_so close _to Glen Coco!) but he didn't give me any problems. The only time I saw him speak was when his girlfriend came in passing out flyers to everyone right before class.

Who was his girlfriend? The hottest girl in the class, of course.

Pocahontas was as easy to spot as Ariel had been with her red hair. And man oh man, was she a total hottie. I'm talking, this girl made runway models look like starving prisoners in labor camps hot. She was tall, about 5'9", and had an absolutely bangin' body…killer rack, legs practically up to my neck, and Lord, 'dat ass. She wasn't shy about hiding it either. Tank top, tiny little shorts, and she had some tattoos to boot. Her raven hair was long and swooshy, and she had these ridiculous lips that put terrible thoughts into my head.

'Damn you, Glen Kocoum,' I thought bitterly.

"These flyers are to support a fundraiser to plant forty more trees on the campus grounds," she said to everyone as she passed one to each student.

"Maybe the new trees can replace the old ones that were chopped down to make these flyers," said a bitchy voice. It came from Jasmine, who was, in my opinion, the second hottest girl in the class, but she definitely gave Pocahontas a run for her money.

Jasmine was another girl who wasn't really one for modesty. Her top displayed her midriff and ample cleavage, and I could tell her threads were all expensive designer labels. Her jewelry looked nice too. She wore a lot of makeup, but still seemed hot underneath. She also had a lot of black hair spilling down her back and big almond-shaped brown eyes.

'Oh God, she looks like a skinny Kim Kardashian,' I realized with a tinge of disgust and then a shameful half-boner. I cursed the sins of my flesh and then in the same silent breath, wished desperately that she would get up and drop a pencil or something.

Most of the rest of the class laughed at Jasmine's snarky comment but Pocahontas wasn't nearly as amused.

"These flyers have been printed on one-hundred percent recycled paper," she retorted.

"Whatever," said Jasmine, with a roll of her eyes.

Pocahontas sat down next to Kocoum and crossed her arms, still annoyed that Jasmine had to try and rain on her parade. Her boyfriend leaned in to whisper something to her, but she didn't seem to really hear him. Maybe it was just me, but she didn't seem all that into him from what I could see.

I looked at Jasmine and saw the handsome guy sitting next to her lean over to say, "Can we get through a day without you picking a fight with somebody from Class Council?"

"Don't start with me, Eric," said Jasmine, pulling out her compact mirror and checking her makeup. "I'm not in the mood."

I realized that the guy was Eric, class president and Belle's ex-boyfriend. He looked like he was about my height, coloring, and build, but his eyes were blue and not hazel like mine. Also, he was Ariel's love interest from "The Little Mermaid."

Eric sat back in his seat, looking annoyed. Apparently, he was dating Jasmine in this world, which was interesting to me. She seemed like a total bitch, so I felt a little sorry for him, but he was a handsome son of a bitch himself, so my sympathy only extended so far. It wouldn't be easy seducing princesses with guys like that walking around. Gaston's personality, at least, made him have all the appeal of a leprous chronic public masturbator, but Eric was probably a decent guy, the bastard.

The rest of class passed by quickly as it really could and then I was free. I hurried out of the room, not wanting to run into Kocoum on my way out, who might not be so docile outside of the classroom walls.

Making my way out of the building and onto the sun-drenched campus grounds, I nearly ran right smack into the last person in the world I wanted to run into…

_Gaston_.

**{Uh-oh. More disgustingly contemporary versions of our beloved characters are popping up left and right. Who will be next, and what will be left of them? Don't forget to read and review! I appreciate all feedback that's been given to me. Next chapter will be up soon.}**


	6. Chapter 5

**{Sorry for the wait, everyone, but since you've all been so patient, I'm uploading TWO-you heard it-TWO new chapters as a gift from me to you. Without further ado…}**

**Chapter Five**

"Oh shit!" I squeaked. (Yes, I'm man enough to admit I squeaked like a scared little mouse; commence the mockery.)

Gaston was striding forward, flanked by LeFou and the three blonde groupies from English class.

I quickly turned around and ran as courageously as I could in the opposite direction, as far away from him as I could muster before what was left of my pride kicked in, and I slumped over, breathing hard next to some benches beneath a grove of palm trees.

"What are you running from?" asked a familiar melodic voice.

I saw Ariel and Alice standing there, along with a scrawny dark-skinned boy who looked to be about their age. Even though it was just the first day of school, his clothes were stained and dirty.

"Who, me?" I asked. "I'm not running from anything. Just trying to get to some shade is all. Just trying to quickly get to some shade."

"You looked like you were running from something," said Ariel, crossing her arms.

"I get paranoid too sometimes," Alice said to me with a knowing gaze. "You just gotta tell yourself, nobody is following me. Nobody is chasing me. Nobody has any reason to do that. Stalking me would simply be illogical."

"Yeah, I'm not stoned," I said, "but thank you."

"Well that's your loss then."

Ariel shook her head and then gestured at the boy. "Shane, this is our friend Mowgli. Mowgli, meet Shane, the newest senior at Disney High."

Mowgli grunted at me and started munching on a banana. He didn't seem particularly excited to become acquainted with me, the dirty little jungle rat.

"Nice to meet you too," I said. "Hey, Ariel, do you know where Belle usually kicks it?"

Ariel's spirits seemed to dampen slightly at the mention of Belle. "Uh, maybe…"

Alice snickered. "Ooh, first she stole Eric from you, and now Shane. When will she stop?"

"Shut up, Alice!" Ariel snapped, pushing her. Alice stumbled into Mowgli, who tripped over a trashcan and nearly fell flat on his face.

"Is he stoned too?" I asked.

"No!" he protested through a mouthful of banana.

Alice shrugged. "I can never tell anymore."

"How much do you guys know about all the little high school cliques here?" I asked.

Ariel, of course, was the only one to answer. "Well, I know my sister's crowd. She's popular because she's a cheerleader. Her boyfriend is Phillip, and he's all right, I guess. Kind of boring, though. All the people in her group are mostly jocks and other cheerleaders. Eric, Gaston, Charlotte, Snow, and Jasmine…our school has a lot of good athletes but the best ones are Herc and Tarzan. Tarzan's kind of a loner, though; he doesn't usually hang out with the other jocks that much. But Herc is, like, the king of the school. He's everything Gaston wants to be. Have you seen Gaston? He's Eric's cousin and he's super hot, but, like, a total douchebag."

"Yeah, I've managed to cross paths with him already," I said. "He's a real charmer."

"I dunno about _charming_…he's kind of a jerk…"

"That's called sarcasm, Ariel," said Alice. I nodded at the stoner blonde, grateful that she at least was aware of the concept.

"Oh," said Ariel. She flipped her hair imperviously. "Whatever."

I spent the rest of the break bumming around with the little freshmen like a loser, and spying on the popular kids. They sat in the center of a cluster of benches on the grass. Herc stood out from the rest. He was red-haired, boisterous, and even bigger than Gaston, at probably 6'5" and 225 lbs. The only guys bigger than him that I could see were three dudes who I assumed were offensive linemen. One was a huge, fat Chinese fellow and the second was a mountainous black guy. They both had shaved heads. I was pretty sure their names were Po and Joshua Sweet, from the movies "Mulan" and "Atlantis." The third big guy looked like he might be Kronk from "The Emperor's New Groove" and he seemed even dumber than Gaston. (I watched him open a soda that exploded fizz into his face and caused him to tumble off of his seat.) The presence of these three meant that were at least a few fringe, supporting characters from the Disney films who existed here along with the iconic ones.

When the bell rang, I asked Ariel, "Do you guys know what 'Ethics' is? I don't think we had that class at my old school."

Ariel grinned and ducked her head, as though she felt guilty about laughing at my misfortune. "Ooh, my sister has been dreading that class. It's a special class for seniors Mr. Frollo teaches. It's supposed to be positively _miserable_._"_

"Great," I grumbled. "Something else to look forward to here."

I thought about just how alone and out of place I was out here, with no real knowledge of the current events or political climate of this world, not to mention the fact that I had almost no money, no extra clothes, and no place to stay. In fact, I wasn't even sure if the little money I had would be valid here. For all I knew, they accepted clams or gold coins as currency. I let out a long sigh.

Ariel grinned giddily at me.

"Isn't high school the best?"

**{Oh, the angst. The angsty angsty angst. Don't forget to review, and thank you!}**


	7. Chapter 6

**{As promised, here is the **_**next **_**chapter. This one's a juicy one too because it contains one of my all time favorite Disney villains…who we'll be seeing a lot of in this story (SPOILER ALERT!) Heh-heh…anyway, enjoy!}**

**Chapter Six**

Ethics was supposedly in the English and History building, but I wasn't sure where the classroom was. It was labeled as Class Number "0," which completely perplexed me, so I stood there on the first floor, in the main hallway, blinking like an idiot with my schedule in my hand.

Fortunately for me, I heard the sound of Belle's pretty laughter and her saying, "See, I told you guys he'd be here."

I smiled in relief as I saw her walk up with Wendy and a slender black girl who had intelligent brown eyes and a pretty smile. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun and she was wearing practical clothes. I recognized her from my history class, where she had mostly ignored the bickering and clowning, and paid attention when Professor Porter started talking.

"Hello, Shane," said Wendy.

"This is my best friend Tiana," said Belle.

"Oh, thanks," said Wendy.

Belle giggled. "Sorry, Wendy. My _other _best friend."

"Nice to meet you," I said. I squinted at her, recalling that she was one of the newer princesses in the Disney lineup. "I haven't actually seen your movie."

"What?" Tiana asked, confused.

'Keep it together, Shane,' I chided myself before saying aloud, "Sorry, sometimes I say things that don't make sense. I have a dumb sense of humor."

"Then you'll fit right in here," she said.

"Frollo's room is down in the dungeon," said Belle. "This way."

"The dungeon?" I repeated, not sure if I had heard her correctly. But she just laughed and started walking.

I followed them down the hallway to the side of the building, where we opened a heavy pair of double doors and began to descend down into darkness.

"So are you in Class Council too?" I asked Tiana.

"Nope," she replied curtly. "Too busy."

"Tiana's got two jobs," Belle explained.

"Even if I didn't," Tiana said, "I have no time and no interest for all that foolishness."

Wendy made a tiny offended noise. "Oh come on, Tiana, it's not foolishness."

"It is _way_ too much drama for my tastes," Tiana said. She glanced back at me and said, "I hate drama. I've just got no patience for it."

"Oh, same here," I quickly agreed. I paused and noticed our surroundings. "Hey, this is actually pretty creepy down here."

We were at the bottom of the stairs and I could see that there were actually torches providing lighting, which created a sense of eeriness.

"Yes, this is terrifying and I sort of wish we didn't have this class," said Wendy. She actually looked a little pale but I wasn't sure if it was just the glow of the torches giving off strange lighting.

We walked to the large iron doors at the end of the hallway and opened them to find a large, cavernous classroom. Not many people were inside the room, which looked like sort of a cross between an old Catholic church and indoor Greek amphitheater. It reminded me a bit of Snape's classroom in the Harry Potter films. I kind of liked it. It had style.

Wendy, of course, wanted to sit near the front. Naturally, those seats were open and I reluctantly followed the three girls over to her desired section. We set down our things and then I perched up on top of my desk, resting my shoes on the seat, so that I could look out at the rest of the room behind us as people started to enter.

"So what is this class even about?" I asked.

"Mr. Frollo attempts to instill in us ethical values to guide us in our decision making processes as we leave the school and make the transition from adolescent to adult," Belle answered. "It's supposed to be intense. I'm kind of intrigued, to tell the truth."

"He used to be a judge," Wendy said. "He's _very _serious."

"He's a creep," Tiana said. "Straight up."

"You don't know that," said Belle.

"With some people, you can just tell," Tiana said. "And he's one of them. Trust me."

The doors opened and the rest of the class began to pour in. To my dismay, I saw Gaston's head towering above the rest.

"Crap," I said.

"Oh no," said Belle, "Maybe you should try and sit somewhere else before he sees you."

"Who?" demanded Tiana. "Gaston? No, screw that guy. Don't you go anywhere, Shane."

"I'm just trying to avoid a confrontation here," Belle said. "It's only his first day."

"Well he can't run away from him forever. Besides, Gaston needs to learn he can't always get his way, that ass-hat."

I sighed. "That's easy for you to say, Tiana."

It didn't take long for Gaston to spot Belle and he strode purposefully over to where we were sitting, followed by his ever-present lackey LeFou. I tried to duck my head and remain as incognito as possible. If I was lucky, Gaston's simple one-track brain would be too pre-occupied with love for himself and lust for Belle to notice the other insignificant people around him.

"Belle!" Gaston exclaimed, laughing heartily. "Of all the surprises. Fancy running into you here! And to think I was afraid we wouldn't have any classes together because you're on the honor track."

"What a tragedy that would have been," Belle sighed dismally.

"I wanted to allow you to apologize for the little…for the way this morning went," Gaston continued as LeFou snickered. "I think we got off on the wrong foot."

"You want…_me_…to _apologize?_" Belle repeated, her mouth gaping. You would think she'd be used to his act by now, but you'd be wrong.

"Well, I guess we're both a little at fault here," Gaston said. "I can be a little too…enthusiastic sometimes and that gets misinterpreted by some people as aggression. But I'm a gentle soul at heart. Really."

Tiana snorted and he gave her a dirty look. LeFou, however, looked and saw me sitting there, trying unsuccessfully to blend in with the desk I was sitting in.

"Hey, Gaston, look who it is!" he declared.

"You little asshole," I said between clenched teeth.

"Now this really is surprising!" Gaston said, a malicious glint entering his eye. "I was hoping to run into you again, my friend. Looks like it's my lucky day!"

"Look, man, I'm not trying to pick a fight with you," I said. "I don't care about strutting around and puffing my chest out, trying to be a tough guy or anything. I just want to go to school because I have to, and that's all. You go ahead and do your thing."

Once again, I noticed all the students in the back of the classroom perking up and all starting to watch the second round of our conflict. In the very back, I caught a glimpse of an amused-looking Meg watching with her arms crossed. She had three friends with her, who all looked equally intrigued.

Gaston's eyes narrowed and he took a step towards me, looming like a bulldozer. "Well maybe it's a little too late for backtracking now. You punked me in front of my fellow Disney High Lions, and I can't let that go unpunished."

"Oh, go jump off a bridge, Gaston!" said Tiana. "Stop trying to be some macho bully, you idiot."

Gaston chuckled, a dangerous sound coming from him. "Oh, Tiana, you are very lucky that you are a girl, very lucky indeed…but keep in mind, nobody slaps a bitch like Gaston."

That got a big reaction from our fellow students, including hysterical laughter from Meg and her crowd. I noticed that Jasmine was sitting nearby as well, shaking her head at this display.

"Oh, hell no!" Tiana shouted, jumping up. Wendy squeaked and cowered in her seat, but Belle and I quickly got between Tiana and Gaston, restraining her.

"Tiana, chill," I warned, still clinging to the hope that I could somehow prevent this from turning ugly. Those hopes, however, were quickly slipping away.

"I'm not just gonna let him talk to me like that!" she protested.

"Seriously, Gaston!" Belle pleaded, "Just leave us all alone. Mr. Frollo is going to be here any minute now and you don't want him thinking we're trying to disrupt his class."

"I'm not afraid of that creepy old man," Gaston scoffed. "What's he gonna do, tie me to the goalposts and whip me?"

At that moment, a deeply rich, sinister voice announced, "1959. Whipping as a punishment was first appealed to the Disney District's Board of Education as a target for reform. It was quickly and swiftly denied."

While everybody else scrambled for their seats, Belle, Tiana, Gaston and I froze as a tall, narrow figure emerged from the shadows near a towering bookcase filled with thick volumes of what were presumably law and reference books.

"Oh shit," LeFou gulped, quickly ducking behind our desks and climbing into his, as though he had been sitting in his seat the whole time. Belle, Gaston, Tiana, and I however, were rooted where we stood, locked in the fearsome gaze of Mr. Claude Frollo.

"Where did he even come from?" Tiana whispered, almost inaudibly. Nobody answered her.

Frollo stepped forward. "1968. Nearly ten years later, whipping as an acceptable form of punishment was again brought up for questioning following the tumultuous changes that were sweeping the country during what some called 'The Sexual Revolution' and the backlash stemming from the Vietnam War. However, despite the most earnest hopes of the long-haired so-called flower children, whipping was not only upheld, but embraced even more fully by the schools in the District."

His face was terrifying-all sharp angles and pale skin stretched over hollow cheekbones, with dark eyes that seemed to gaze directly into my soul. It was almost as if he could see every wrong thing I had ever done, and it made me feel like I wanted to throw up all over the stone floor.

He took another few steps forward, eyes burning with a low, smoldering black fire. "The issue was not raised again until 1984, after several particularly vigorous whippings carried out in response to particularly extreme cases of insubordination resulted in some permanent damage to the offending students. This time, the controversy served to help the appeal gain traction. While some wise purists recognized the value of physical punishment, and its effectiveness in dissuading dissonance and disobedience, there were those who claimed it was archaic, barbaric, and outdated. The issue became not only a moral one, but a cultural one. As greater society continued to grow more permissible, more accommodating, more _enabling_, the pressures to conform to these new lax ideals were felt by many institutions, none more so than the schools. Despite passionate lobbying and unyielding support by many of the tenured educators for the retention of physical punishment, whipping as a penalty for unacceptable behavior was finally dissolved completely by the year 1987."

Frollo was now standing directly in front of the four of us. Even big, stupid Gaston seemed terrified by the razor thin old man, and he could have snapped him like a twig if he wanted to. But something in Frollo's tone and gaze kept us frozen and helpless in fear. Imagine the most intimidating, frightening teacher that you ever had over the course of your education, and I'd bet a million bucks they'd shit their pants too if they somehow caught the ire of Claude Frollo.

"Mr. Gaston," Frollo said in his low voice. "You are the starting quarterback of this school's football team, are you not?"

"Y-yes," Gaston said, eyes wide.

"The starting quarterback, a supposed leader of your team, and yet your wanton provocation of these female students belie your lacking abilities as an effective leader of men, and seem to expose you as nothing more than a boorish…_bully._ Do you choose to refute what I'm saying?"

"Uh…" Gaston stammered, "…I'm not…sure, exactly, what you said just now."

Frollo's eyes narrowed into tiny, wrathful little slits. "I'm saying that you don't conduct yourself in the way that you should, which I believe clearly stems from a misplaced sense of entitlement that your status as an athlete has thus far provided you with. If it were up to me, I would gladly sentence you to five lashes like we might have done in the olden days, when times were pure and students knew better how to behave."

Gaston's face fell and his big shoulders slumped, completely emasculated. Instantly, there were furious whispers throughout the class. Belle, Tiana, and I stood there, unsure of whether we were going to be safe from Frollo's judgment or if he was about to reprimand us as well.

"Take a seat, Mr. Gaston," ordered Frollo. Gaston trudged over to a seat next to LeFou and sat down with an audible WHUMPH, then slumped down and stared at the ground. Frollo's gaze drifted over to Belle, Tiana, and me. "As for you three, I don't want to see you getting into any more altercations in my classroom or there _will _be consequences. I don't care how innocent you claim to be. Is that understood?" We all nodded furiously and he waved a spindly hand. "Now take your seats."

We started to sit down, but then Frollo pointed at me.

"Stop," he said. "You. What is your name?"

"Uh, it's Shane," I said, my voice hoarse.

"Do you have a last name, _Shane?_"

"Barrera," I answered.

"Hmm," Frollo said. "Of Hispanic origin, it appears. The Spanish have reputations for being hotheaded and here you are in a near altercation with another student, in my classroom no less. Very interesting. I'm sure that you are aware, Mr. Barrera, that Spain has a very tumultuous history with France, and coincidentally, the altercation you are in is with a student who so happens to be of _French_ origin…a heritage which he happens to have in common with none other than…_myself_. Are you aware of these things which I have just told you?"

I found myself blinking uncontrollably and the words that came out of my mouth struggled to form coherently. "I-no, no I didn't-I didn't know that."

"Well, Mr. Barrera, that is quite a pity, quite a pity indeed. I must admit, I don't recognize you, so I assume that you must be new here, but let me assure you of something. We have a very _specific_ way of conducting ourselves on this campus. As the acting vice-principal of this school, it is my job to ensure that our policies are upheld and to enforce them when necessary. For those who fail to comply with our behavioral expectations, they fall into my hands for punishment. Let me advise you, Mr. Barrera, that you do _not _want to be one of those students whose disciplinary actions must be decided upon by me. Is that perfectly understood?"

"Yes, sir," I croaked, feeling faint.

"Very well," said Frollo. "Take your seat. I think we've had enough disruptions for the day. I want everyone to look at the syllabus on their desks. Get to know it, because you will be tested on every inch of it by the end of the week."

There were immediate groans and Frollo lashed out at us with a terrifying snarl, which served to effectively silence everyone.

"There will be _absolutely _no groaning, moaning, or complaining in my class. In here, my word is the law, and it will be followed unflinchingly, lest you face the consequences. And it goes without saying that stepping out of line in _my_ classroom has very _dire _consequences."

**{*Shudder*…Show of hands, who would like to attend a class taught by Frollo? Anyone? Anyone? I'll wait…*crickets chirp* …no? Hmm, well, that's about what I expected. No matter! There are other teachers and students at this fine establishment you'll get to see. Thanks to everybody who has left such positive reviews. I am exceedingly grateful for all of them. I will be working on uploading the next chapter soon!}**


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

After barely surviving Ethics with Frollo, Algebra 2 was a piece of (bitter) cake. I found out that Tiana and I were in the same class and she led me to our classroom in the math building, where I chose a seat in the back off by myself and waited for the period to end. (Tiana wanted to sit at the front but I wasn't willing to suffer through that kind of visibility two classes in a row.)

I became too lost in my own thoughts to really pay attention to anything that happened during the class's duration, but it was largely uneventful. Mostly, I just noticed that our teacher, Mr. Hatter, seemed like a total nut-bag, which was to be expected, considering he was a loon in every incarnation of "Alice in Wonderland" I had ever seen.

I could tell I was going to struggle, though, because I hadn't been in a math class in years and I'm legendarily bad at all forms of it. Just ask any math teacher I've ever had, if they haven't dropped dead from lack of personality. (Is that a fatal disease yet?) I figured Tiana might be decent in the subject, but it was doubtful that she was the kind of chick who would let me cheat off of her. 'Not worth the risk,' she'd probably say.

I recognized four students from the popular crowd sitting right in the middle of the classroom, presumably so everybody could notice them and bask in their glory: Herc, Jasmine, Aurora, and Snow. Jasmine and Aurora seemed like they might be decently smart, but the other two were complete morons.

"How do you spell 'adorable'?" I heard Snow inquire. "Is it with two 'U's' or just one?"

"Are you serious?" Jasmine asked with disgust.

"It doesn't have any U's, babe," said Aurora, patting Snow's arm.

Snow frowned and held her paper up in front of her. "Oh. I'm writing Gaston a poem to let him know what a wonderful boyfriend he is."

Jasmine and Aurora exchanged a glance as Herc submitted to his laughter.

"Shut up, Herc," said Jasmine.

"I'm sorry," he giggled, "but that's just hilarious. Gaston: Boyfriend of the Year." His laughter only increased and Jasmine threw a pencil at his head, where it bounced onto the ground and rolled away, out of her reach.

'This is it!' I thought suddenly, my heart leaping with joy. But alas, she did not get up to retrieve it off of the floor and I bitterly slumped back down in my seat, glaring out at the rest of the class from behind my go-to moping pose.

Fortunately, Snow remained oblivious to the source of Herc's amusement and continued to happily scribble her poem. If only I could have seen that baby, it would have lifted my spirits right up. I'm sure it was a classic.

I could see why Ariel was insecure about Aurora. She was tall and beautiful, with long ridiculously flowing blonde hair that cascaded down and around her shoulders. She had the face of a teen magazine cover girl with a perfect nose, dark blue eyes, and eyebrows that were a shade darker than her hair. She also was dressed surprisingly modest for a cheerleader, compared to some of her contemporaries (Jasmine *cough* I'm looking at you *cough, cough.*)

Snow White wasn't as striking as some of the other girls I had come across but she was cute in her own way. She had a pleasant face with wide, innocent brown eyes, pale skin, red lips, and a black bob-cut. Like Aurora, she was dressed in pretty modest attire.

Other students that I managed to notice were Tarzan, Pocahontas, and one unreasonably hot black-haired, green-eyed girl also sitting in the back row who I only managed to get a couple glimpses of here and there. She had a couple friends with her, one male and one female, but I took no notice of them. I was almost positive that she had been in my Ethics class and was one of Meg's friends who had been laughing at my confrontation with Gaston. Her friendship with Meg and intimidating attractiveness combined with me being plain burned out from Ethics resulted in me making a conscious effort to avoid making eye contact with her. I was pretty sure that she glanced over in my direction a few times but she generally seemed to be occupied and content by conversing with her friends.

Math class ended and I walked out with Tiana, but not before catching a glimpse of the green-eyed girl walking by with her cohorts. She paid me no mind, but the back of her was almost as awesome as the front, and I guess I looked a little dazed watching her leave because Tiana said, "Are you all right?"

"What?" I asked, blinking. "Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm good. I wonder what super fun awesome class I have next."

"Hopefully nothing," said Tiana, "or I feel sorry for you."

"Why you say that?"

"Because it's lunch time, dummy."

I suddenly realized that my stomach was growling. My body had been so overwhelmed and over-stimulated by its new surroundings that it didn't recognize that it was hungry. But now I felt like I could put an all-you-can-eat buffet out of business all by myself.

"Did you pack a lunch?" Tiana asked me. I shook my head and she said, "Well I did. But it's over in my locker. We can go pick it up and I can take you to the cafeteria if you want, unless you want to go by yourself."

"No, I'd appreciate the company," I said.

On our trek to her locker, I asked, "So where do you guys usually eat lunch?"

"Well, we have a table we go to sometimes," Tiana replied, "but it's such a nice day, I kind of want to eat outside. Also, Belle and them won't be able to join us because they have their class council meeting to go to."

"Oh that's right," I said, my spirits sinking a bit. I had been looking forward to being around Belle again. Already, I felt safer and more relaxed with her than with anybody else I had met so far. That being said, Tiana was a cool girl too (and she wasn't bad to look at either, so I could do worse in the company department.)

After we retrieved her lunch, we stopped by at the cafeteria. The two of us got in line and I caught a glimpse of some of the food they were serving. It wasn't pretty.

"Word to the wise," Tiana said, seeing my face. "If you can help it, bring your own lunch. Ol' Cookie Farnsworth is the head cook here and he's got a reputation for being a little too inventive at times with his ingredients."

I squinted and tried to see inside of a bubbling pot filled with a thick, sinister looking sludge. "I'm pretty sure that's a boot in there."

A faraway look of horror entered Tiana's face. "I tried to eat the lasagna one time. I figured, hey, how do you screw up lasagna? All the ingredients are delicious. I found a chicken's foot in mine. A chicken's…_foot._"

"Does lasagna even usually _have _chicken in it?"

"_Not their claws!"_

When I got near the front of the line, a funny thing happened. I saw a chicken sandwich with tater tots (the only things more school cafeteria-y than tater tots are square cut, one-pepperoni pizza slices that taste like cardboard) and I figured it looked decent enough to eat. I had exactly twenty-one bucks in my wallet that I was going to have to find a way to make last for the entirety of my stay in this weird world (or at least until I could find a consistent mode of income.) So, hoping this sandwich wouldn't be _too _expensive, I approached the paying counter.

Tiana went off to the side to go wait for me while I waited innocently to pay for my food. It was at that time that I caught an intoxicating whiff of perfume and, suddenly, a pair of two striking green eyes was right in front of mine.

"Hi."

My heart caught in my throat. It was the beautiful girl from Ethics and Algebra, Meg's friend. For the first time, I was getting a full-on glimpse of her and, man oh man, was it something to behold. She had the body of a video vixen any rapper would have paid big bucks to employ. She was taller than any of the other girls, even Pocahontas and Aurora, at maybe two inches below me. Her black hair was thick and wavy. Her figure was out of this world and she wasn't shy about showing it; she had a low cut top that made it very clear she was more well endowed than all the other gals I had come across, but her lady lumps weren't her only assets. Her lower half was equally impressive in jeans that were practically painted on-hips, thighs, calves, backside…everything. Her skin was beautiful, darkly tanned and smooth, and, along with that black hair, contrasted sharply with those green eyes of hers.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I recognized her as Esmeralda from "The Hunchback of Notre Dame," but with her standing in front of me, my thoughts were pathetically incoherent.

"Are you new here?" Esmeralda asked me upon understanding that I was woefully unable to respond to her initial greeting.

"Hi…" I finally managed to get out, having taken that long to react to that first word of hers.

She giggled, clearly enjoying my misery. "_Hi_. I'm Esmeralda. Are you new here?"

"I…hi…" I mumbled, still unable to tear my eyes away from hers. "I mean, yeah. Yeah, I'm…yeah…"

"Oh," said Esmeralda. "How do you like it so far?"

"It's…good," I said.

"You're quite the conversationalist," she said.

"Yes," I said. "Yes, I am."

"_Well…_it was _nice _talking to you…?" she trailed off, waiting for me to provide my name.

"Esmeralda?" I asked, confused.

"No, that's my name," she corrected me gently.

"Shane," I finally said. "I am Shane."

"Next!" said the cashier. I glanced vaguely over at him as though he were some kind of inconsequential annoyance that I didn't need to bother responding to.

"Well, _Shane_, it was certainly nice to meet you," Esmeralda said. She extended her hand to me and I floated mine awkwardly up, not really grabbing hers, because I was still lost in her eyes. (And to think, only a few hours ago, I had pitied Milo's presumed social ineptitude. The poor chap probably had nothing on me.)

Patiently, Esmeralda took my hand and shook it, then wrinkled her nose a bit upon feeling how sweaty my palms were. But she didn't pull quickly away or anything.

"NEXT!" bellowed the cashier.

Esmeralda grinned and wiped her hand on my chest, then winked at me. "Bye!" And then she darted off towards the door of the cafeteria, leaving me there like a zombie. I took a few, bumbling steps up to the cashier, still watching her retreating form, when he spoke.

"What are you buying?" he asked.

I looked down at the counter and discovered that my food was missing. Looking around in confusion, I saw that it was nowhere to be found. Looking back out at the door, I saw Esmeralda and Meg both standing in the doorway, grinning. With snickers, they disappeared outside like ghosts.

Having to return to the food line for a new meal, I was forced to settle for one of those damn cardboard pizza squares and water. Tiana was waiting for me by the door and as soon as I got to her, I knew she had seen the whole embarrassing incident.

"Well don't you feel like a sucker," she said, shaking her head at me.

I followed her outside, squinting in the sunlight. "What happened?"

"The lovely Esmeralda distracted you while her cousin took your food," she replied, not sounding surprised. "They always do that kind of thing, if they can get away with it. You just gotta learn to keep your guard up around them."

"Who's her cousin?" I asked. "Meg?"

"No, Al's her cousin," Tiana said. "Meg is dating him."

"I keep hearing about this Al dude," I said, "but I didn't even see a guy come up."

"That's because you were off in La-La Land staring at his cousin. You're not the first to have been taken for a ride by them. Just feel lucky that all you lost was your lunch, and not your wallet."

We ended up finding a nice patch of shady grass on a hill by the cafeteria. Pocahontas was sitting there with a cute Chinese girl of average height and fine black hair that went down to her shoulders. She was dressed sporty, in a T-shirt and running shorts, along with tennis shoes. There was no doubt about whom she was, but I was polite upon being introduced to her.

"Nice to meet you, Mulan," I said.

She glanced down at my sad little lunch. "You're definitely new here."

I grimaced. "A man cannot live on cardboard pizza squares alone."

"Want some carrot sticks?" Pocahontas offered. I noticed that all three girls had pretty healthy lunches, especially Pocahontas and Mulan.

"Sure," I said. "Thanks. So are you girls big on eating healthy?"

"Definitely," answered Pocahontas. "We both play sports, so we're big into fitness."

"What sports do you play?" I asked.

"I do volleyball, track, and cross-country," Pocahontas answered.

"Football, basketball, softball," replied Mulan.

I stared at her. "Football?"

She glared at me. "Yeah, what of it?"

I shook my head. "Nothing, I've just never seen a girl on a high school football team."

"Here we go," said Tiana.

"You got a problem with girls playing football?" Mulan demanded.

"No, I-" I stammered.

Pocahontas' snickering rescued me. "She's the kicker."

"Ah," I said, nodding.

Mulan shot a glare at Pocahontas, who ducked away, laughing, before turning back to me and saying, "I'm only the kicker because Coach Rourke won't let me play anything else. But I could run the ball if he let me. I can throw pretty well too."

"It's just too bad you can't see over the offensive linemen," Pocahontas teased.

"_You _can shut your face, thank you very much."

I grinned. "You two are pretty entertaining together."

"This is how they interact all the time," said Tiana with a bite of her sandwich.

"_This _one's got such a chip on her shoulder," Pocahontas said, gesturing at Mulan, "that I just try to keep her from taking things too seriously."

"Oh, you're one to talk," Mulan said. "You're always pissed off because someone is dumping on one of your bazillion environmental crusades."

"That's because _some _people are morons!" Pocahontas exclaimed. "Not my fault!"

"I completely agree with you!" Mulan said. "Just don't make it sound like I'm the only one who's fighting some invisible vendetta against the rest of the world."

"I am honored to be in the presence of you both," I said. "Mulan, you're like a feminist icon."

"Oh Lord," said Tiana.

Mulan blinked. "Uh…thank you?"

"Don't give her a big head," said Pocahontas.

"And I've always wanted to ask you, Pocahontas," I continued, "what the heck is a 'blue-corn moon?'"

She made a weird face. "A what?"

"A…blue corn moon?"

"Is that, like, an Indian joke or something?"

"Uh, no it's not," I said, "at least, I don't think it is. Just forget about it."

"You're weird, bro," said Mulan.

I sighed.

"I know. I know."

**{I'm almost done with the next chapter so another update should hopefully be on its way soon. Forgive my writer's ADD; it can be hard to balance different projects with school, work, gym, and any semblance of a social life. Also, the NBA season is stressing me out lately but that's neither here nor there haha. All reviews are appreciated, even flames! (Just make them original.) Thanks!}**


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Weightlifting was next on the schedule. Mulan, of course, knew exactly where the gymnasium was and kindly pointed me in the right direction.

I stepped inside and immediately grimaced. "Well this smells lovely."

"What are you doing outside of the locker room, Queer-Bait?" barked a gruff voice.

A brawny gray-haired man with a square jaw and a whistle hanging around his thick neck was looking at me as though he had caught me pissing directly into his bowl of Spaghettio's. This, presumably, was Coach Rourke, who was Milo's militaristic antagonist in Atlantis. He looked much angrier than I thought he had a right to be but, unfortunately, I was the only other person in the gym.

"Are you guys actually allowed to call us things like that?" I asked. "That doesn't seem very much like the warm and fuzzy Disney _I _know. Disneyland has a Gay Day and everything."

He stepped towards, me, eyes bulging. "You sassin' me, boy?"

"No sir! Sass is for girls and weenies, and boys who like weenies!"

"So you're some kind of smart-ass, huh?" he said in a quieter voice than I was expecting. I didn't like when scary people got quiet, not that I was fond of them yelling at me. (I was just more used to authority figures screaming at me.) "It's been awhile since I've come across a smart-ass…"

"I'm just looking for the locker room," I said.

"What's your name, son?"

"Shane Barrera, sir…"

"Well, Shane Barrera," Rourke said, "you are officially on my shit list. Congratulations. Locker room's around the corner."

Cursing my own prodigious knack for getting dangerous people to hate me, I trudged over to the locker room doors. Opening them, I walked inside and made my way over to where a group of mostly nondescript dudes were changing. I recognized LeFou and Mowgli among them.

"LeFou!" I exclaimed. "You little shitbird, Gaston's not in this class is he?"

The stumpy twerp looked a little nervous to see me. "Hey, I don't want any trouble, bro."

"You don't?" I asked with mock surprise. "I just wanted to say, you've been doing your very best to make my life a living hell and I'm not sure I appreciate that."

"You better back off, dude," he said. "You don't want to mess with me. I've got _friends_, all right, bro?"

"Yeah, I _got you, bro,_" I said, glaring at him. "Just stay out of my hair and I'll stay out of yours."

"Whatever, bro," he muttered, waddling away. After he was out of sight, I looked over at the rest of my classmates, most of whom had paid no mind to our spat. In all likelihood, I wasn't the only guy who hated LeFou. All in all, I counted the shameless intimidation of my wimpiest adversary as a resounding success.

Young Mowgli was examining his shorts with disdain, which seemed to be a size too small.

"What's up, Man-Cub?" I asked. "You're in this class too?"

He stared up at me. "My cousins jacked your lunch today, dude."

"Wait, _you're _cousins with Al and Esmeralda too?" I asked. "Aren't you Indian? Isn't she a Gypsy? Those aren't the same things, are they?"

"They prefer the term 'Romani,' douchebag," said Mowgli.

"My bad," I said. "But to be fair, this place hasn't really been a shining example of political correctness. Coach Rourke is already slinging homophobic slurs at me and he hasn't even seen me in my leg warmers."

Which reminded me; I had no gym attire whatsoever with me. That could be trouble.

A shirtless guy with a brown-haired ponytail and a gold earring said, "Don't feel too bad. He's always doing that to everyone. Probably a closet case himself, in all likelihood."

He had round blue eyes, a little nose, and very expressive eyebrows. His haircut was a little strange, cut super short at the lower sides and sideburns, but long everywhere else. I noticed that he had a couple tattoos on his lean form, but they were strange black symbols that I found indecipherable.

"That'd be pretty funny," I said. "I think."

"Not as funny as it would be sad," said the guy, extending his hand. "Jim Hawkins. Any guy who is an enemy of LeFou and his crowd is a friend of mine."

"Treasure Planet!" I exclaimed. "I don't think anyone actually saw that one. I read it wasn't all that bad, though, although I don't know how anybody was able to review it if nobody watched it. Also, you sound like Joseph Gordon-Levitt."

"Hmm," said Jim, pressing his lips together. "I'm just gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don't have Tourette's, so let's pretend you told me your name instead of a random string of words."

"Shane," I replied. "Shane Barrera. Nice to meet you."

We shook hands and Jim said, "You better hurry up and get changed or you're gonna be late. Rourke isn't very lenient on tardiness."

"Shit," I said. "The problem is I wasn't given any gym clothes."

"Sounds like you are royally _screwed_, dude," said a rail-thin black-haired guy with an obnoxious voice. "Can I have that jacket when he kills you? I could let my little brother wipe his ass with it. He could really use it; he's a lot fatter than me and can't always reach back there."

"Oh hey, wow, Kuzco, how about you just go away forever?" asked Jim in an annoyed voice.

"Kiss my ass, Pretty-Boy," chirped Kuzco. "Try not to fall in love with greatness when you do it."

"I will gladly kick your ass any day of the week instead," said Jim, "Just tell me where and when and as long as it's off-campus, we can make it a date."

"Whatever, Dickface!" said Kuzco as he headed out of the locker room, along with most of the rest of the class aside from Jim and me. He made a very rude gesture as he left.

"The model Disney behavior continues," I said, watching him leave.

"You shouldn't expect much else," said Jim. "The majority of people here are assholes. You get used to it after awhile."

"So I guess I'm just gonna have to walk out there and let Coach Rourke tear me a new one," I said with a sigh. "Maybe he'll give me a pair of gym shorts after he finishes murdering me."

Jim grinned. "That won't be necessary. Luck for you, New Guy, I've got an extra pair of gym clothes you can borrow. No extra tennis shoes, though, unfortunately."

"Well this is just weight training, right? It's not like I have to go run around."

"True. We're lucky because Rourke doesn't really give two shits about this class. All the football players have it in sixth period, and that's all he really cares about anyway. Long as you're not late and don't catch his attention for the wrong reasons, this is a class you can skate by through."

"Well I already screwed that last part up," I said. "But thanks for helping me out, dude, I appreciate it."

"No prob," he said. "See you out there."

I quickly got changed and hustled out there to join everyone else. Most of these guys looked like they had never stepped foot in a weight room before. I at least knew my way around the assorted collection of weights and machines so I figured this class would be useful to stay in shape. Chances were, my 24 Hour Fitness membership would be worth nothing here.

Coach Rourke ambled out of his office and surveyed the lot of us. I wasn't surprised to see him shake his head with disgust.

"Well, you are a sorry collection of useless meat sacks if I ever saw one," he said. "I'm gonna be straight with you. Trying to mold all of you ninnies into anything of even remote value to the world is a task I could never get paid enough to try, so just go about your business in here and try not to kill yourselves. Your pathetic lives aren't worth the lawsuits, so do me a favor and stay away from the big boy weights." He glanced over at me. "Except for you, Barrera. You have my full permission to drop a couple plates right on your stupid face. Dismissed."

"Awesome," I muttered.

And with that, he spun on his wheel and went back to his office, shutting the door behind him with a loud slam. The rest of them all looked at each other, blinking.

"Was-was he serious?" asked Kuzco.

"He was serious all right," said Jim.

"Lame," grumbled Kuzco, rubbing one of his skinny arms.

"This is bull," said LeFou. "I should be in sixth period weight training, not slumming it with you dorks."

"Shut up, LeFou, you're the biggest piece of camel dung in this room," said Jim.

"Bite me, Hawkins!"

"I don't eat junk food."

"That's a stupid comeback."

"Your _face _is a stupid comeback."

I laughed. That sterling example of wit was something I would say. This Jim guy seemed all right.

LeFou waved Jim off and went over to go embarrass himself with some twenty pound dumbbells he struggled to do much of anything with.

"You look like you've actually exercised before at least once in your life," Jim said to me.

"This is true," I said. "Twice, actually. Tore a shoulder labrum both times."

He chuckled. "Wanna be workout partners?"

"Sure," I said.

We went over to one of the bench presses and started talking about my first day on campus and my impression of it all. After briefly going over some of the girls I had met, the conversation took a turn for the wicked.

"So far I've made a bunch of enemies," I said at one point. "Mostly with the faculty."

Jim laughed. "You sound like me and my crowd."

"Who's your biggest enemy at the school?"

"Well, I can't stand Gaston and most of the jocks obviously, because they're douchebags, but the real villains at this school are the head administrators. Have you met any of them yet?"

"Well Jafar and Frollo both hate me," I said. "Jafar's hatred for me may be justified but that Frollo guy is just downright horrible for no reason."

"Frollo's the vice principal," said Jim. "He's been trying to campaign to bring back whipping and other medieval forms of punishment for years now. The dude is seriously twisted. But I'm not half as afraid of him as I am of Ms. Maleficent."

"Who's that?"

"The school principal. She hardly ever interacts directly with us, but I'm telling you, there's something seriously shady about her. There are all kinds of rumors that she's involved with a lot of really sketchy things."

"Like what?"

Jim looked serious for a second before grinning and shrugging. "Aw, it's just a bunch of rumors. Don't worry about it. The point is nobody really knows much about her, but that doesn't stop her from giving me the creeps."

I chewed this over. "Huh."

Looking like he wanted to change the subject, Jim said, "So, uh, tell me more about the girls you've met so far."

I shrugged. "Everybody was pretty nice for the most part. Mulan seemed a little aggressive, but she probably deals with a lot of crap. None of the cheerleaders have given me the time of day. But there's a lot of eye candy here all around."

"So are you into any of them?"

"You mean all of them?" I corrected.

He laughed. "Any of them into you back?"

"Hard to say. I haven't even finished my first day yet. I know that Belle was on the verge of hating me deeply but I think we've become friends now."

"Belle is a feisty one," said Jim, "for sure. Most dudes at this school have had their sights set on her at one time or another, but you can just surrender on that front. She doesn't give it up to anyone. I don't know if she even likes dudes, to be honest."

"Didn't she date Eric?"

"Well, yeah, but that only lasted a couple months, I think. She's just a hard girl to please, super independent. Also, I don't think she liked a lot of Eric's friends and that played a role in their breakup. He hangs out with the assholes and the snobs. I can see why she wanted to avoid that."

"Yeah, well, Belle's just one girl," I said. "I'm sure there are other chicks here with lower standards."

He grinned. "A few.

"I mean, this is still a high school, is it not?"

"Oh, they're out there…if you know where to look."

A sly look was on his face, which got me to smile.

"You seem to know a thing or two about the subject."

"Oh, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying it shouldn't be too hard for you to find some tail if you try. You're not a bad-looking dude, and you've got the novelty factor. Plus, you said people are starting to notice you because you got into it with Gaston."

"You know who really seemed intrigued by it all?" I asked. "That chick Meg. You know her? She's pretty hot."

At the mention of Meg, Jim's demeanor seemed to change. The look on his face was hard to read. I couldn't tell if it was positive or negative.

"What?" I asked.

A controlled little half-smile appeared on his lips. "Yeah, I know Meg. She, uh, she has a boyfriend though."

"Oh yeah," I said. "So I've heard. That Al dude. I keep hearing about him but I haven't seen him yet. Apparently he stole my lunch today."

Jim chuckled. "Yeah, you gotta look out for him. He'll do that. Not a bad guy once you get to know him, though."

"When he's not stealing your shit."

He shrugged. "There's more than one side to every person."

"Well, his girlfriend was all up in my personal space. I wouldn't have known she wasn't single if not for other people telling me."

"Did she, uh, did she say anything to you?"

"I dunno, she was sort of flirting I think. I'm not sure though. She might have been just messing with me. I mean, her and her friend Esmeralda…I don't even know how to act when they're around. Esmeralda is a girl I don't even have words to describe."

He laughed lightly, rubbing the back of his head. "You liked her too, huh?"

"Who wouldn't?" I asked. "But I don't know that much about her, other than she distracted me so they could screw with me. Looks wise, she's off the charts, but they both seem like they've been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean."

"They're definitely not innocent," he said. "I'll give you that much."

"Further investigation may be needed," I concluded.

We talked some more but mostly spent the rest of the period lifting. The change in Jim's behavior remained, however, and I still couldn't put my finger on it. He just seemed a little vaguer, a little more guarded than he had been when we first met.

After the period ended, we all went back to the locker room and changed back into our regular clothes. I tried to hand Jim's extra pair of clothes to him but he shook his head.

"You can give them back after you get your own," he said, "Or after you wash 'em or whatever."

"Oh, uh, thanks," I said, putting them into my bag. I didn't really have an idea of how I was going to gain access to a washer and dryer, but there was probably a Laundromat in the city somewhere. My more pressing need was finding more clothes and shelter.

"Well, I'll be seeing you, bro," he said. "Good luck navigating through all the crazy."

"Thanks, man."

I watched him head off in his own direction and stood there for a couple seconds. I still couldn't shake the feeling that I had said or done something to make him feel weird.

My confusion didn't last long, however, because Mowgli popped up next to me and gave me another withering look.

I was already annoyed with the little brat. "What?"

"You're so dumb, dude."

"Why?"

"Because," he said, looking at me like I was the biggest idiot on the face of the happiest place on Earth, "of the way you were talking about my cousin."

"Oh," I said. "Sorry if you heard that. I'm, uh, sure she's a real nice girl."

"Dude, I don't give a crap what you think about her. But Jim does."

"Why is that?" I asked, getting a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"Because, numb-nuts. Esmeralda is his ex-girlfriend."

"Oh," I said. "Shit."

Shit indeed.

**{So there's the latest chapter in our lovely story. Hope you all enjoy it. Also, a side-note, sorry for my brother's trolling in the review section. Don't hold it against him, he was dropped on his head as a baby. (Shh, he doesn't know.) Just ignore him and carry on, but anyway, thanks for all the current reviews and don't forget to let me know what you think! I appreciate it all :) }**


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

My last class of the day was personal finance, taught by a certain Mr. John Ratcliffe. And boy oh boy was he a fat ugly bastard if I ever saw one. Not to mention, he had this dirty Sanchez style mustache festering as some kind of bushy undergrowth between his nostrils and the slices of cold wet ham masquerading as his lips, which made him even more repulsive. To top it off, he even had a douchey-looking soul patch to go along with his long greasy black hair, as though he were some kind of overstuffed beatnik bumming around the kitchen section of an all-you-can eat poetry bar. (Is there such a thing? Shit if I know, but if there is, Ratcliffe would be first in line.)

The hoggish man reclined in his big purple plushy swivel chair, which looked almost comfortable enough to envy except for the foul stench of stale farts that were almost assuredly embedded in the fabric, and I could almost hear the poor object straining and creaking from his substantial weight.

The first thing he did when the bell rang was to look at us all with an expression of mild disdain and constipation and say in a curiously fey voice, "Let's cut to the chase, shall we? I hate this job and I hate all of you, which is fine because you probably all hate me. I will not bother wasting my time teaching you much of anything at all because this is a stupid throwaway class for seniors, designed just to fill time. It's the last class of the day, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and the sight of your sniveling little faces makes me feel rather ill. Also, I already have tenure, so they can't fire me anyhow. So, just amuse yourselves until the final bell rings and let's not delude ourselves into thinking we can squeeze out anything of value from these fleeting moments."

That was just fine with us, and everybody quickly got up and started pulling their desks around to sit with their friends and start chatting about whatever filled with their little pigeon brains.

Where did I decide to sit, you ask? I zoomed straight over to where Meg, Esmeralda, and a rakish black-haired boy who could only be the infamous Al were sitting together in the back.

"Well, _look_ who it is," Meg said.

"New guy," said Al.

"You must be the 'Al' I've been hearing so much about," I said.

He held his arms out grandly. "The one and only. Do I live up to my reputation?"

He was dark-skinned and Arab or Persian looking, with a lean build and expressive eyes. I noticed his cousin Esmeralda had similarly thick eyebrows, although hers didn't quite look as though they were about to spin a cocoon and emerge forth as a butterfly at any moment.

"Oh, you're _Aladdin_," I said. "That makes sense, I guess."

Al's dark eyes narrowed. "Nobody calls me that."

"Well I just did."

"Ooh, what spunk. Tell me something, New Guy. Have you found where you fit in yet here at ol' Disney High? From what I've seen and heard, the jocks hate you. But you don't strike me as a nerd. So what are you?"

I shrugged. "I'm just me. I know it probably comes as a shock to you all but I'm actually a pretty nuanced person who doesn't really fall into any broad category."

The girls snickered and Meg said, "Oh, I don't know about that. You seem like a pretty textbook 'Smart-Ass' to me."

"With a few sprinkles of 'Dumb-Ass' thrown in there for taste," Esmeralda added, winking at me.

"Yeah, I bet you two feel pretty proud of making me look like an idiot at lunch," I said. "Do you usually target the poor innocent bastards like me?"

"Easy pickings," Meg said with a nod.

"But we mess with everyone," Esmeralda said, "Anyone who doesn't know any better, at least."

"You were just too easy," Meg agreed, "and hopelessly unaware."

"You were pretty adorable," Esmeralda giggled.

"Don't try to butter me up now," I grumbled.

"Never!" she exclaimed, feigning offense.

"Look at it this way, New Guy," Aladdin said. "All the girls did was give you a free little lesson in keeping your eyes open. You're gonna have to do that to survive here. You can't trust most of the student body as far as you can throw 'em, and that's not even mentioning the faculty."

"They're mostly psychotic," Esmeralda said brightly.

"So consider yourself officially initiated," Aladdin concluded.

Meg smirked. "You can thank us now."

I just shook my head. "You guys are a real piece of work. But you're right about one thing. I _will_ keep my eyes open whenever any of _you_ are around."

They all looked at each other and then the girls grinned for a split second before Esmeralda hopped onto my lap, taking me by surprise. She sat there sideways, but with her torso facing me.

I found myself staring right into those electric green eyes of hers, and my thoughts instantly became fuzzy again. All I could see were those bewitching orbs and all I could feel was the firmness of her curvy lower body pressing down on me.

'Down, boy,' I tried to tell Little Shane, but he wasn't wont to listen in situations such as these.

"I feel like we're getting off on the wrong foot," she purred. "I'm usually _so _much better at getting off than this."

"Wait…what?" I asked.

"Hmm?" she cooed.

I could hear Al and Meg snickering, along with the sounds of some other students. Were others watching right now? Could they see this? I was hopelessly at the mercy of the voluptuous girl now perched on my lap, but I couldn't imagine that this was normal behavior for a classroom setting, even one with an apathetic rat bastard like Ratcliffe teaching it. Was it? Wouldn't someone be coming to my rescue soon?

Esmeralda leaned forward a little, grinning at me, and her face was very, very close. I could feel her fingers traveling around my waist, tickling me.

"Hey!" Ratcliffe's voice suddenly barked. "You back there! Get down, you little trollop!"

Esmeralda lolled her head over to languidly glance back at the rotund instructor.

"Now!" he snapped.

Esmeralda sighed and rolled her eyes dramatically, then hopped off of me just as nimbly as she had jumped on. She went back to her seat and sat down with her chin in the air, looking quite satisfied with herself.

"Slut!" someone coughed, not so under their breath. I looked over to see who it was. Mulan. Shaking her head at me. Like it was _my _fault I had been pounced upon by that she-devil.

'Holy shit, I sound like Frollo,' I realized with a shudder. I was definitely going to have to repress any instincts that made me resemble _that_ psychopath.

"It's only Day One and you little apes are already trying to convert this classroom into some kind of Mardi Gras festival," said Ratcliffe.

"Apes don't celebrate Mardi Gras," Tarzan said from up front. "Apes don't celebrate any holidays."

"Did I _ask _you for your opinion, mongrel?" Ratcliffe snapped.

Tarzan slumped in his seat. "No."

"As I was _saying, _I'm no Frollo but I would appreciate it if you save all your beastly mating rituals for outside of the classroom. Or else you will have to very quickly become acquainted with my _ugly _side, and you don't want that. _Believe _me."

"How many ugly sides does he _have?" _Meg muttered.

"Probably about three hundred, judging from the size of him," said Aladdin.

Ratcliffe went back to his desk, shooting a venomous glare in my and Esmeralda's direction, and the class went back to talking as though nothing had happened.

"And another teacher already hates me," I said. "Awesome. Just awesome."

"Oh, you want to be _popular, _is that it?" Meg asked me. "You weren't hoping to become Prom King, were you? Oh, _dear!_"

"Shut up."

"He only has seventeen bucks on him," Esmeralda commented. "How unimpressive."

I looked to see that she had my wallet in her hand and was thumbing through its contents.

"What the hell?" I cried, drawing an annoyed look from Ratcliffe up at the front. I lowered my voice and hissed, "Give me back my wallet!"

"I _will…" _Esmeralda said, "…when I'm done looking through it."

"So that's what that little lap-dance charade was all about," I muttered.

"Oh, honey, if you thought _that _was a lap-dance, you have been woefully deprived," Meg said.

"You're just too easy," Esmeralda snickered, still going through my wallet.

"Oh, _I'm _the one who's easy?" I challenged.

Esmeralda looked up with a mix of surprise and amusement. Her mouth opened as if I had insulted her and left her speechless, but she laughed a little along with her two friends.

"Oh, he's coming at you raw, cuz," Aladdin said. "You gonna take that?"

"He doesn't even know me and he's already insulted my virtue!" Esmeralda said. She tossed my wallet carelessly into my face, where I caught the rebound. "Take back your filthy wallet, you misogynist asshole. I don't need your meager pocket change anyway."

I put it in my front pocket this time, never breaking eye contact with her. "Yeah, try and manipulate me into feeling sorry for you all you want. It's not gonna work."

"You know, for someone so _clearly _morally superior," Esmeralda said, "it does come as a surprise to find _this _carried on his person." She held her hand up and moved two fingers slightly, revealing a small, square dinged-up packet between them. It said "TROJAN" on it.

I winced. I had forgotten that old condom was tucked away in there, but now here she was holding it out for anyone who cared to look could see.

"Wow, look at the shape it's in," said Meg. "I don't want to impede, but I would be careful about using it, Lover Boy. I'm not sure it'll work anymore."

"Okay, I give up," I said. "You guys win. You've broken my spirit. I don't know what you want from me, but you've successfully made me your bitch. Congratulations."

The girls both laughed and Aladdin shook his head at me as though he were disappointed.

"You sorry, sorry bastard."

"I don't know how you put up with them, man," I said. "But if there's any way to get them on your side, please share. I'm all ears."

"Well now that you're our _bitch _I think we might have a little mercy on you," said Meg. "But then again, I don't know."

"I don't know if I've ever had my very own bitch before," Esmeralda mused, looking at me.

"Oh shut up, skank," said Meg. "Every guy is your bitch."

"What-_ever_, Meg."

When the bell rang, I walked out with the three of them amidst the throng of students anxious to get to their lockers and get the hell out of there. Of course, all the rest of them had somewhere to go. I, however, had nowhere.

"Can you dance?" Esmeralda asked me.

"Not really," I said. "I can do the Carlton, though. Sort of."

"What's 'the Carlton?'"

"You've never seen the Fresh Prince?"

"The what?"

"Never mind."

"Dance for us, monkey!" Meg commanded. "Dance like you mean it!"

"Yeah, no."

"You're our bitch, so you have to do what we want! Now dance!"

"Dance!" Esmeralda agreed.

"We can dance if we want to," I said. "We can leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine."

They all stared at me.

"What."

"Oh come on!" I protested. "Safety Dance? Men without Hats? You've got to be kidding me."

Aladdin stepped forward and put an arm around my shoulder. "Yeah, we have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm gonna butt in now. I like you, New Guy. You're weird, but I see potential in you."

"Potential," I repeated. "Potential for what?"

"I don't know. You seem to have a nose for getting into trouble. We appreciate that in my crew. We're all the same way."

"Your 'crew?'"

"Oh yeah," he grinned. "Say, where are you from anyway?"

"Uh, nowhere really," I said. "California."

"Adventure?" Esmeralda asked excitedly. "I've always wanted to visit that province! I heard it smells like oranges everywhere!"

I laughed uneasily. "Uh, yeah, yeah it does. I guess."

"See, I just wanna make sure you're not some kind of narc," Aladdin said, stopping and staring at me suddenly. "You're not, right?"

"A narc?" I asked. "What? No, I mean, _hell _no."

"I don't want you to think me paranoid or anything," he continued, "but like I said, there's not a lot of trust to be had here. I always feel like Ms. Maleficent and Frollo are looking for ways to take me down. And yeah, having some guy nobody knows come and drop right into our school on the first day of our senior year and impersonate a student sounds a little sketchy, but you know what? I wouldn't put it past them."

I nodded, slowly, feeling his eyes boring into me. "Yeah, I feel you there, man. Kinda like 21 Jump Street. You guys seen that movie?"

"You mean the show?" Esmeralda asked. "With Johnny Depp? I love that show!"

So they presumably didn't have the Fresh Prince or 80's New Wave songs, but Johnny Depp existed here. I guess that made sense. He was Captain Jack Sparrow, after all.

"Yeah," I said, "I mean, the show. Great show."

"See, that's what I'm talking about," Aladdin said. "You keep referencing all this shit nobody knows about. Makes me wonder if you're really a teenager."

"What else would I be?"

He shrugged. "I dunno." He looked at me for a few more seconds before abruptly changing his demeanor. Instantly, he was back to being upbeat and friendly. "So, anyway, if you're not a narc, that begs the question. Do you like to party?"

"Do I like to party?"

"Yeah, man."

Meg leered at me. "Do you like to _party?_"

I had a feeling 'party' meant something more than Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey.

"Uh, I think so."

Aladdin snickered. "Right on, man. Well maybe you can _party _with us one of these days. Just, try and do a better job of flying under the radar. I already got enough heat on me as it is. You're like a walking magnet for negative attention. Which is why I don't think you're a narc after all. You unintentionally attract bad company."

"Well yeah," I said. "I got your guys' attention, didn't I?"

He chuckled and clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Ha. See, this guy's funny. I saw it in Ethics class with Gaston, but now I see it in person. I doubted you girls at first, but you really know how to pick em. This guy's got some character."

"He does, doesn't he?" asked Esmeralda.

"Don't ever doubt us, babe," Meg said, grabbing Aladdin's belt and pulling him a little closer to her. "Or I'll have to mess you up."

"Oh, God, can you two wait till we get home?" asked Esmeralda, annoyed.

"Stop cock-blocking me, cuz," Aladdin said. "I don't do that to _you." _He and Meg both gave me a knowing smirk.

Esmeralda gave him a simpering smile. "Oh, thank you, your graciousness."

"Well we gotta get outta here," Aladdin said to me. "My magic carpet awaits."

"You actually have a magic carpet?" I asked, my jaw dropping.

"That's just what he calls his stupid car," said Esmeralda.

"Come on now, stud," said Meg. "Be smarter than that."

"Oh," I said. "Well, I guess I'll see you guys around then."

Esmeralda leaned forward and pressed her body against mine, hugging me tight. I could have stayed there all day, feeling all that sweetness up against me, but despite my appreciation for the moment, I felt something lightly moving against my butt.

I pulled back suddenly and grabbed Esmeralda's wrist, making her fingers let go of my wallet (which I had foolishly returned to my back pocket at the end of class.)

She beamed at me. "See! He's learning!"

Meg laughed as I released Esmeralda and she darted off to join them.

"Well would you look at that. Byyyyye, Lover Boy."

Meg winked at me and then the three of them walked off, leaving me standing there alone.

"Shit," I said to myself. "I should have gone with them."

Where was I going to go now?

"You definitely should have followed those sweet pieces of ass," said a voice I recognized all too well. "But it's not like you have to go get laid the first day or anything. You've got _all _the time in the world, don't you?"

I slowly turned to see the grinning feline face of the one who had cursed me here. He was sitting there on a stone bench, gleefully licking his paw.

The Cheshire Cat.

"You," I growled.

"Did you miss me?"

His grin widened.

**{Sorry for the somewhat admittedly slow pacing up to this point, everyone, but I really wanted to introduce each class period and as many characters as possible. (Of course, there are still plenty of other characters who will be popping up throughout, but at this point, we've met a good amount of them to start us off.) Once we fully get through Day One, we'll be able to move faster through the story and different plotlines. I promise we won't have to go through each period every day upcoming haha so be patient; all the high school drama will soon be under way. Any-hoo, sorry for the long wait between chapters but I'm already working on the next one or two. Hopefully I can finish and upload them soon (school and work permitting.) All reviews are appreciated, even the flames! (I'm looking at you, Mr. Kurklefuss, you dirty horn-dog, you.) If you guys think you see the ending coming, all I'm going to say is don't be so sure ;) Thanks for reading, everyone!}**


	11. Chapter 10

**{Here's a little quickie for you guys, continuing from the previous chapter. (I re-uploaded Chapter 9, correcting a couple of typos that I could find, but it's still the same, save for a few extra words.) Anyway, enjoy!}**

**Chapter Ten**

"Okay, I've got a few bones to pick with you," I said.

The Cheshire Cat began to groom himself as though I wasn't there. This didn't cause me to really fret, however, because what other reason did he have to sit there but to listen to me?

"First of all, I have no friggin money!" I said. "What am I supposed to do for income? How am I supposed to eat?"

The Cat shrugged and licked a paw. "Go get a job, you good-for-nothing vagabond. People like you are ruining this country."

"Oh yeah," I said, "which brings me to my _next _point. Where the hell are we, exactly?"

"Disney High School, of course. _Duh."_

"No, I mean, are we in a country or a kingdom or what? Are there states and counties and cities? I've heard the word 'province' thrown around." I frowned, a terrifying thought entering my mind. "Oh God…are we in _Canada?_"

The Cat arched an eyebrow. "What do you have against Canada?"

"ANSWER ME!" I screeched.

"Who are you yelling at, boy?" asked a familiar hissy voice.

I turned to see Jafar standing there, glaring at me with suspicious eyes.

I looked over at the Cat, who was grinning in what looked to be plain sight, but I knew better than to assume he would pass up this chance to make me look insane. Jafar clearly couldn't see him.

"I'm, uh, on the phone," I said.

"No you're not."

"…yes I am."

"_No. _You're _not."_

So we were doing this little dance again.

"It's called a Bluetooth, man!" I said in mock exasperation. "It's all the rage with kids these days; you should buy one. Really helps with hands-free talking, especially when you're driving."

"Don't you condescend to _me, _you little twit," he snapped. "I've heard some rumblings that you're already making unpleasant waves at our school."

"How could you know that?"

"I have my ways, boy, believe you me. If you have any semblance of a brain in that hollow little skull of yours, you'd do well to avoid Aladdin Ababwa and his crowd. He's a walking expulsion; it's only a matter of time. I assume you want to survive to graduation, do you not?"

"Well, yeah…"

"Then do as I say, boy. Or you'll be fast joining him on his path to destruction."

I watched him skulk off before resuming my conversation with the stupid Cat.

"Thanks for helping me out there," I said, "you know. At all. In any way, shape, or form. I appreciated that."

He was grooming his stomach. "Don't mention it."

"Yeah, screw you, Cat. So what godforsaken country am I in? America? Uzbekistan? Canada? Where?"

"Okay, seriously, what's your deal with Canada?"

"They just remind me of having this, like, polite, responsible, well-mannered cousin who always brings the best beer to the party, and who you could totally beat up on if you wanted to, but if you did, everybody would think you were a giant asshole and wouldn't talk to you anymore, and the stupid cousin would probably still just end up forgiving you anyway because he's so goddamn polite…and who do they think they are with their free healthcare and clean streets? I hear they don't even lock their doors. Also, they talk funny."

The Cat stared at me for a few awkward seconds.

"What?" I asked defensively, breathing heavy.

"Are you finished?" he asked.

"Yes…"

"No, really, if you want to continue going off on some bizarre anti-Canadian tangent, please, be my guest. Don't let little old me stand in the way of this sad display of mental imbalance. Go on."

"Okay, okay, I get it, I'm a moron. Just answer me."

"You're in the United States, of course. What's more Disney than America? That's basically the extent of what I can tell you, though."

"Are you kidding me? I'm like an alien who crash-landed onto Earth; I know nothing about this planet whatsoever. I'm more ignorant about the world's political climate and history than an autistic pre-schooler. You've gotta throw me a bone here."

"I've thrown you plenty of bones," said the Cheshire Cat huffily. "But you let them saunter away without so much as getting to second base. That's not _my _fault."

"Just give me a crash course on the basics! Who's the president? Is there a king, or something? What state are we in? WHAT YEAR IS IT?"

"Why don't you go crack open a book if you're so thirsty for knowledge?!" snapped the Cat. "The city library is only a few blocks away. Go dive right in."

"You bastard! Where am I supposed to go for shelter? Where am I supposed to find clothes to wear? How do I make enough money to buy _anything?"_

"Go sell your body on the street corner for bread money," he sneered. "I don't care. Maybe you'll inadvertently cross off a name on the list, if you don't get shanked in a back alley first."

"I don't even know who's on the stupid list!"

"Oh yeah. That reminds me. Look in your jacket pocket. It's in there."

I shoved my hand into the pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Of course, nothing was written on it.

"This is blank."

"Of course it is. You haven't seduced anyone yet."

"…the fuck, man?"

"When you conquer someone on the list, their name will magically appear on the paper, crossed off. See how it works?"

I stared at him for a few moments.

"You're really, really annoying."

"I can take off my head!" the Cheshire Cat said suddenly. "Wanna see?" He promptly removed it from his shoulders and started to toss it up in the air like a beach ball. "Here, catch!"

He spiked it at me like it was a volleyball. I caught it and glared down at his dopey grinning face with an intensely burning contempt, knowing that I probably wasn't going to get anything else useful out of him for the time being.

"Why, hello there…" he said pleasantly. "How do you do, good sir?"

"Go choke on it," I said. Then I took his head and punted it up and away.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" he hollered as his head somersaulted through the air, landing out of sight in a faraway grove of bushes. I chuckled to myself as his body jumped off of the bench and then angrily flipped me off.

"Yeah, have fun."

His chubby body took off after its missing head. I would have liked to stay and watch him stumble around looking for it, but I decided I needed to find a friendly face I could latch onto who could maybe help me find a place to stay for the night.

My mind instantly went to Belle, for some reason. I trusted her the most out of everyone. But was she even on campus anymore? The Cat had mentioned the library being close by, and Belle had said that's where she worked. I figured it was as good a shot as any. But how could I find it?

She wasn't over by our lockers in the English building, and she wasn't walking around campus anywhere that I could see. Most of the students not in a sport had either left or were in the process of leaving, especially the seniors.

It wasn't long before I felt like a pinball without a pinball machine. I was bouncing and rolling around without making contact with anyone or anything. (I assumed Gaston and the other jocks who might want to pound me into the dirt were all at football practice already, so that gave me a little relief.)

Fortunately for me, I saw a tall shapely girl with tan skin and long black hair pulled back into a ponytail come jogging by. It was Pocahontas, and she was clad in pretty revealing workout attire. I could definitely appreciate _that._

'Thank God for small miracles.'

I waved at her and she smiled and waved back but didn't slow down.

Damn it. That meant I had to actually run after this chick. I hated running. I might lift weights now and then, but you'll never find my lazy ass doing cardio. (The writing man's burden.)

I began to jog anyway and it didn't take long for Pocahontas to see me keeping pace next to her. She gave me one of those _looks _that girls love to give guys when they're doing something weird or stupid, and pulled out an ear bud of her iPod (or whatever music device she was hooked up to.)

"Still wanna know what a 'blue-corn moon' is or whatever?"

"No, I'm over that," I said. "I mean, unless you know the answer."

She made that 'you're an idiot' face again and started to put her ear bud back in as she picked up her already brisk pace.

"Wait!" I protested. "I was just-_wondering_-if you knew where the-_library_-was..." The running was already making me out of breath.

"You're already breathing hard?" Pocahontas asked disapprovingly. "You barely started running."

"I'm not in running clothes!"

"So?"

"Just answer my question before I get a heart attack!" I gasped.

"You really should get in better shape."

"Oh my God."

"_Relax, _buddy_. _It's right next to the English building over there."

"No," I puffed. "I mean the city library. I heard it was close by."

"Oh, that. Just take Main Street until you get to Town and turn right."

"Sweet," I gasped. "Thanks."

I stopped and doubled over, hands on my knees and breathing like an asthmatic hippo, while Pocahontas just laughed and bounded away. She hadn't even broken a sweat.

Girls like that were like marathons in the bedroom. Not that I knew or anything.

After finally catching my breath, I decided I might as well head for the library. If I was lucky, Belle would be there and I could ask for her advice on finding a place to crash for the night. If I was _really _lucky, she'd let me spend the night at her place. Maybe I'd even get to share her bed!

But of course, that would just be too easy.

**{So, we're moving along, slowly but surely. Finally about to leave the school behind, at least temporarily. As always, all reviews are appreciated! (Since I kinda rushed uploading this one, feel free to point out any typos or errors that might have slipped past me. Hemingway was probably talking about me when he said, "Write drunk, edit sober," but I edit like a drunkard anyway sometimes. Oh well.) Thanks, everyone! ****:) }**


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

The city outside of the school grounds seemed like a pretty normal, nondescript suburban town. There were plenty of trees and not too much traffic. I tried to keep an eye out for anything that stood out as weird or extra "Disney-ish" but nothing caught my eye. It all just seemed ordinary, which really wasn't a bad thing when I reminded myself I would have to try and get accustomed to living here.

I followed the directions Pocahontas had given me until I spotted the library, which was easy to understand why Belle had spoken so highly of. It truly was a majestic looking building, complete with classical architecture, gargoyles, and everything.

'If I end up having to live here, at least I'll have the gargoyles to talk to,' I thought. Maybe they'd be lovable wisecrackers named Victor, Hugo, and Laverne. Maybe I'd end up taking residence on the roof and would get so accustomed to being there that I'd never leave, until I turned into some kind of creepy, mythical hermit.

'The Library Hobo of the Disney Burbs.' Hmm. Didn't quite have the right ring to it. Perhaps I would do better if I grew a hump on my back.

I entered the large double doors and actually felt my breath catch in my throat. There were books _everywhere. _It sort of reminded me of this super cool hipster bookstore in Los Angeles, aptly called 'The Last Bookstore' on account of reading going extinct in Los Angeles, because in both places there were things actually _made _of books glued together. Like, they made up some of the walls and tables and designs. But mostly, there were just shelves and shelves stuffed full to the brim of every conceivable genre, except for maybe Russian language erotic space dwarf fiction. I've never actually found one of those anywhere. (In Japanese, sure. But in Russian? Never.)

I moseyed around through the beautiful building, passing by plenty of people thumbing through the shelves or curled up in comfy looking chairs in the corners, their noses glued to a book, rapturously inhaling every dusty page.

That was the thing. Most of these books actually looked _old. _It piqued my interest to wonder if there were a whole collection of published works that only existed in this world, and not in mine. What kind of fiction would be limited to a world populated by Disney characters? Then again, from what I had seen, this wasn't a world populated solely by Disney characters at all. It was just where I had ended up that contained the majority of them, at least to my knowledge.

I spotted the big circular information desk, but nobody was sitting there. It didn't take too much searching, however, before I found Belle helping a little kid in what appeared to be the dinosaur section. I quietly approached, keen to see how she interacted with the sticky little tyke. I personally get along with kids pretty well when I have to (I'm just a big kid myself, obviously), but I'll be the first to admit that they can be gross, disease-spreading little munchkins much of the time. The majority of little kids are walking, pint-sized epidemics infecting everything they so much as breathe upon, so I keep my distance when I can.

"I think you'd really like this one with the T-Rexes, Bobby," Belle was saying. "What do you think?"

At the mere mention of 'T-Rex' alone, the kid nodded eagerly. I wondered what the hell the sketchy green stains on his T-shirt were, and decided I didn't want to know.

Belle looked up at the shelves and then frowned. "Oh, it's up there on that shelf. I don't think I can reach it. We'll have to find a step-stool."

"Need some help?" I asked casually. They both looked at me.

"Who are you?" asked Bobby, one eye squinting. Little bugger probably had pink-eye and was wiping it all over the whole dinosaur catalogue.

Belle looked a little surprised to see me. "Bobby, this is my friend Shane. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing here but here he is."

"I might not be basketball tall but I can reach that book," I said.

Belle smiled wryly and crossed her arms. "Be my guest."

I was just tall enough to pull down the desired book and, feeling pretty pleased with myself, I handed it to the snot-nosed goober.

"Look at our knight in shining armor," said Belle.

"There you go, Billy," I said. "A hundred pictures of giant bloodthirsty lizards eating other, somewhat _less_ giant bloodthirsty lizards."

"My name's Bobby."

"Sure it is. Run along now, Billy."

He gave me what _appeared _to be a resentful look (which didn't make any sense whatsoever; I had just come to the rescue and valiantly saved them from their debilitating shortness, so they _had _to be grateful, right?) but obeyed my command. He toddled off with his book tucked under his grubby little arm, and I grinned at Belle.

"What can I say, kids love me."

The face she made could hardly be described as a smile, but I figured that's what it had to be, lest I be faced with the alternative that she wasn't wholly impressed by my heroics. "You certainly have a way with them. So, what are you doing here? Stalking me or do you actually want to check out a book?"

"Stalking you, obviously," I replied. "No, actually, I was hoping to see if I could use some of your search databases on the library computers. Do you guys have Wikipedia here?"

"No, we're just poor, simple cavemen," said Belle. "Of _course _we have Wikipedia; where do you think you are exactly?"

I chuckled dryly. "That's a conversation for another day, baby doll."

"Okay, just so that _that _never happens again, let me just say it right now: Don't ever call me that again or I'll probably have to strangle you."

I shrugged. "All right, if you like Sugar-Tits more…"

"I thought we had made some progress from the douche-bag I thought you were this morning!" Belle said, looking around behind me as though I was hiding some kind of bad-manners gremlin who was secretly pulling my strings like a ventriloquist dummy. "Why are you backsliding? Did you suddenly become best friends with Gaston or something?"

"Sorry, sorry," I said. "I was just kidding. But I really do wanna check out the computers."

She shook her head but started to walk toward the stairs. "The good computers are upstairs. Follow me. And try to act like a civilized human being. _Some _people view this place as sacred."

"Yeah, yeah."

We ended up at a cluster of fancy, modern looking computers. Milo was sitting at one of them, some of his schoolbooks sprawled out around him.

"Here you go," said Belle, gesturing to an open seat next to Milo.

I took a seat and said, "So do they keep you pretty busy here? Does it get boring?"

Belle thought about it for a moment. "Some days, I suppose, it can get a little monotonous, re-shelving books and doing inventories. But I really love it here. I can't think of a job in this town I would want more."

"In town?" I questioned, knowing the answer to the question I was about to ask. "Do you have bigger aspirations outside of here?"

"Well, _yeah,_" she said.

"Like what?"

"Don't get her started," said Milo.

"Oh hush, Milo," chided Belle, "Even you have to want more than what this town has to offer. The same old, same old, every single day. I know you do."

"That's what college is for."

Belle got quiet at the mention of college, before saying, "Ideally, yes."

Milo seemed to pick up on her sudden pensiveness and quickly added, "Belle, don't worry. You're going to get all the scholarships you need. You're going to be valedictorian, for Disney's sakes."

"I don't know how you can say that with such confidence, Milo. You don't know how it's all going to play out. Especially when I have _you _for competition."

"What do you wanna go do?" I asked Belle. "After you graduate?"

"I want to travel," she said, her eyes turning dreamy. "I want to go study abroad, I want to visit exotic places, meet interesting people, have some _adventures_…just do anything but stay here, growing old and dusty and letting life pass me by."

"It doesn't seem so bad here," I commented, not sure if I really believed my own words.

"You're still new here. When it's all you know, it loses its luster. The people are so small-minded and content to be unremarkable, here in this, this…little town…"

I felt a spurt of mischief rising up inside of me.

I remarked off-handedly, "It's a quiet village…"

Her eyes flickered ever so slightly. "Every day…"

"…like the one before…" I finished.

She frowned, continuing almost robotically. "Little town…full of little people…"

I could scarcely contain my grin as I gleefully whispered, "…_waking up to sayyyy_…"

"BONJOUR!" Milo blurted out suddenly, startling both himself and Belle. The two of them looked at each other and me in confusion. Somebody whispered, _"SHHH!"_

"You guys all right?" I asked, fighting my laughter. I could just imagine the host of townspeople from "Beauty and the Beast" beginning to pop up, with a chorus of _Bonjour_'s and a huge choreographed dance number. No, wait, they didn't really dance, but they sure as hell sang in harmony. It was almost a shame it didn't actually go down right there in the library. But, as the cat had assured me, there would be no singing, dancing, or fantastical elements in this world. Just a reflection of real life.

Poor Belle and Milo, meanwhile, were completely bewildered at the inexplicable exchange we had all just had with each other.

"What just happened?" Milo asked.

My so-very-casual shrug was perhaps a bit overacted.

"I'm not sure," Belle said, still frowning, "I felt like, for a second…"

"Like our whole lives are scripted?" I offered. "That we're all just predestined characters without any semblance of free will written up in some big cosmic joke of a clichéd story?"

"What? No, I don't know," she said. She shook her head. "Anyway, my point is that, is that…" She hesitated before saying, "…every morning's just the same-"

_"Since the morning that we came!"_ I crowed, unable to resist continuing, "_To this poor provincial town-"_

"GOOD MORNING, BELLE!" Milo unwittingly hollered, before clapping his hands over his mouth and squeaking the tiniest little squeak of horror.

Several people in the library looked over at us now, annoyed at the teenaged lunatics they probably assumed we must be, and all fiercely whispered, _"SHHHH!" _together. Maybe they thought the three of us had Tourette's or something.

I just burst out laughing and Belle put her hand to her head, looking dazed.

"I need…to get back to…work."

Her voice sounded a little distant. She gave me one last confused glance, then hurried and descended down the stairs to take her seat behind the information desk. I knew she must be pondering the bizarre sense of déjà vu she had to be feeling at the moment, and the thought still made me chortle to myself, with only the slightest hint of guilt lurking in my shriveled little conscience.

Did I feel like an asshole? Only a little. It was so very, very worth it. I regretted nothing.

I spent the next few hours poring over as much information as I could on Wikipedia. I barely even knew where to start or what I was really looking for, but after a near coma-inducing amount of clicking and page surfing, I found out that much of American history had remained the same. There was still a Revolutionary War, a Civil War, the two World Wars, and Vietnam. Sometime around the Second World War, though, a change occurred. There were no longer states, but rather provinces, in a bid for a new start for the country in the wake of near global subjugation or annihilation from the Axis threat. There weren't 50 of the provinces either. They all had names like Adventure Land, Frontier Land, Fantasy Land, and things like that. Our province was literally called "Disneyland." We were in the capital, Disney City. That was all pretty simple to remember. Disneyland, Disney City, Disney High. Disney, Disney, Disney.

Apparently, Walt Disney had become president at some point and became some type of omnipresent benevolent dictator. He had been instrumental in a lot of the changes that were already sweeping the nation, like the provinces replacing states and a lot of interesting laws and statutes I couldn't even begin to list. But try to imagine if Disneyland (the theme park) ran the country and you can get a little idea of what his extended presidency was like. 'Merica the beautiful may not have been the happiest place on Earth in actuality, but damned if we didn't try to pretend like we were, apple pie and baseball and the whole kit and caboodle. Interestingly, in this timeline, Desert Storm, the September 11th attacks, and the resulting "War on Terror" had never occurred.

Disney High was opened in the year 1937. Walt had died in 1966, his failing health coinciding with the United States getting involved in Vietnam and the advent of the big youth counter-culture Frollo had mentioned earlier. For the decades following, there was often a clash between older generations wanting to stick to the near puritanical days of the Disney regime, and younger generations wanting to rebel against the wholesome façade the government had fought so hard to instill in the greater American culture. Despite the inevitable rebellions, it appeared that the Disney values had mostly won out, with each generation eventually coming to accept and assimilate with the collective social consciousness.

Which brought us to the current generation, the one that I was now apparently part of. They seemed to be caught somewhere between the apathy of the 90's and the shallow, vicarious mindsets all the technological innovations of the 2000's had created in everyone. They…_we…_were content to just sit back and let the magic drop into our laps. It was better than having a genie in a lamp. There was no wish limit. New, exciting advancements were happening every day, it seemed like. It took no effort on our parts, no real participation, just the simple exchange of money. Our generation was largely just consumers; we weren't the innovators or inventors. We were just customers in a never-ending drive-thru, with a million windows but no exit. It was a disturbing parallel to my own world, one that I didn't want to dwell thinking about.

It made sense to me that Belle would want to get a taste of something new, something _real _beyond the cookie cutter exterior of this reality's American culture, plastered top to bottom in little happy face stickers and government manufactured fairy dust.

I nearly shuddered thinking about it. There was something almost positively sinister about it all, festering deep beneath the sickly sweet, saccharine façade that everyone was so accustomed to. There was no room for dirt or scandal in a world like this; it had to be quickly swept under the rug and erased from all existence. It was no wonder that people like Al, Meg, and Esmeralda were viewed with such contempt by the teachers and most of the other students. They truly were outcasts, dark stains on a whitewashed wall stretching as far out as anyone alive could remember seeing.

I knew that I definitely wasn't a Boy Scout myself; not even close. For the first time, I actually felt a tinge of real dread down in the pit of my stomach. Even though it wasn't real, couldn't be real, it was close enough that I feared what could await me if I made enough missteps. Would some kind of Mickey Mouse-eared secret police come and round me up, drag me away to some dark dungeon like in "Aladdin", and throw away the key so that I would disappear, never to return to the happily ever after? Would the stupid Cat even bail me out of that kind of hopeless situation, or would he just howl with his typical cruel laughter before evaporating for one last time into the shadows, leaving me there to rot for eternity, a victim of my own misguided arrogance?

I didn't want to find out.

Maybe it was because of a lack of food and one too many hours in front of a glowing screen, but by the time I went down the library stairs to find Belle, I was feeling very strange. I couldn't quite explain what it was…something between uneasiness and fright…like if you were to spend all night assuring a small child that there was no monster lurking in their closet and right when you were stepping out the door, after you had finally convinced the innocent youngling that they truly had nothing to fear, you caught a glimpse of glowing red eyes and a hideous grin leering in the darkness. The feeling of spilling milk you've already begun to drink onto the floor, and suddenly realizing that it's rotten. Why couldn't you taste it? How long have your senses been deceiving you? What else have you been putting into your body that's gone bad long ago?

Almost everybody had left the library by then. Milo had departed hours ago, saying he already had homework to get to. The sun had mostly set and I didn't welcome the arrival of the darkness. Loneliness was looming in the shadows. If you think you've ever felt lonely, try to imagine being trapped in a fantasy realm where you were the only real, thinking, breathing entity in the entire world, at least as far as you could tell. That's being alone. That's loneliness.

Belle had her sweater on, and looked like she was getting things together so she could lock up and finally head home. I imagined it was warm and cozy, most likely modest but still full of what the dreamers would call "love." A natural cynic (but you already knew that), I didn't really go for any of that mushy sweet mumbo-jumbo, but it still beat the alternative, which was trying to hide in the library all night, with nothing but books to use as pillows. The library might be beautiful in the day but I was willing to bet it was a lot creepier alone in the dark.

She must have seen something in my eyes because she immediately asked, "Are you okay?" She actually sounded concerned, God bless her little Disney heart.

"What?" I asked, distracted. "Uh, yeah. Yeah I'm fine."

Belle didn't seem convinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired and hungry, I guess."

"Yeah, it's getting late. Did you drive yourself here or…?"

I made an uncomfortable face. "Uh, no, not exactly…"

"Do you have someone coming to pick you up?"

I didn't really know how to explain such a largely unexplainable predicament to her but I knew I'd have to tell her something, so I said, "Belle, can I tell you a secret?"

She hesitated for a moment before saying, "Yes, of course."

Call me stupid or lame or whatever, but I actually had trouble making eye contact with her. Was that _shame _I was feeling? I think it was. I shouldn't have been feeling embarrassed to admit anything to a fictional character; I wasn't homeless in real life and I certainly didn't need her pity, but there was still something just instinctively humiliating about admitting you had absolutely nothing to your name…not a home, or a family, or anything.

"I don't really have a place to stay, exactly…" I finally said, wishing I could fast forward through the inevitable awkwardness that was bound to proceed from this confession.

"What do you mean?" asked Belle. "Where do you live?"

"That's the thing," I said, "I don't live anywhere, actually."

"You-you don't?"

"No."

"I don't understand. How did you get here? Where did you come from?"

All I could do was helplessly shake my head. "I couldn't even begin to tell you. But I was sent here to go to this school, only I wasn't given anything to help me. I didn't get to pack any clothes or money or anything. I wasn't even given a place to stay."

She stared at me, unable to comprehend what she was hearing, which admittedly sounded a little out there. "That doesn't, I'm sorry, that doesn't make any kind of sense to me. Who sent you here? Don't you-do you have a family?"

"They live very far away. They don't know I'm here."

"Why not?"

"I didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. It's hard to explain."

Belle looked like her head was swimming. "Is this…is this like some kind of joke? Because I'm not picking up on the humor."

"No, it's not a joke, Belle. I swear everything I'm telling you is the truth."

"So you're telling me you were forced to move to this city without having an actual place to move to?"

"Yes."

"But you have to go to school."

"Yeah."

"Who's making you do this?"

"I can't…really talk about it."

"It's hard for me to believe any of this, Shane. None of it makes any sense."

"I know it doesn't. But it's the truth. I swear."

"Why'd you have to come here?"

"It wouldn't make sense to you. Maybe I'll be able to tell you later, but I can't right now. I have to figure out what I'm gonna do first."

"What you're going to do?"

"I was wondering if, maybe…you could let me crash here for the night?"

"Here? At the library?"

"I don't know where else to go."

Belle put her hand to her head in distress and started to talk very quickly. The poor girl was quite flustered by my surreal dilemma. "I-I mean, no I can't leave you here, I'd lose my _job_. And, I'm sorry, Shane, but how am I supposed to know you're not going to steal or destroy anything? It's not, like, my personal library. It's not my property. I can't just, let you _live _here…"

I sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. It was stupid to ask. I just…do you know anywhere I could go for now, just for the night?"

She just stood there, trying to come to grips with everything I was throwing at her. I felt really horrible, despite the logical part of my brain telling me to remove myself from the situation. It shouldn't have mattered to me. But I still felt like an idiot.

"I'm sorry to put this on you, Belle," I mumbled. "I know it's not fair, but I just felt like you were the most trustworthy person I could go to. It's embarrassing to be so helpless but I'm completely on my own out here, with no one to turn to."

"You _promise _what you're telling me is true?" she asked me, looking directly into my eyes.

I was able to answer with utter conviction, "Yes. I promise. It's true."

"But you can't tell me who's behind this or why."

"No."

"Is it dangerous?"

"No, no it's not-I mean, I don't know. I don't think so. But I don't really know anything."

"This is such a trip." She let out a little disbelieving laugh, as though she wasn't quite sure if she was dreaming or not. Hell, maybe she was. Maybe we both were. "I was _not_ expecting this today."

I laughed weakly. "Neither was I."

"Okay," Belle said. "Okay. I'm going to figure this out. I don't know why, but I feel like you're telling the truth, bizarre as it sounds. I really hope I'm not wrong about that."

"You're not."

"I'm going to call my dad. He's coming to pick me up. You can probably eat dinner with us at my house tonight-"

"Oh wow, thanks, Belle-"

"-but I don't think you can spend the night. I mean, it's just my dad and me there, and you're a boy, and I just met you today."

"No, no, I completely understand."

"But I'm going to figure out where we can put you for tonight. I'll call someone, or something. But first, we can just lock up the library and then we'll have dinner at my house. Okay?"

"Yes, okay," I said, feeling the slightest bit of relief. "Thank you so much, Belle."

She just shook her head again. "This is so crazy. I don't know what's making me believe any of it. I shouldn't be. I really shouldn't." She turned suddenly and pointed at me. "You owe me though, after this is over. If I help you get through whatever it is you're going through, you owe me."

"Yeah, totally. Anything you want."

"I can't really think of anything I could want from you." Her eyes narrowed. "But I will."

Could this be turned into a potential invitation for future boning? In real life, it wouldn't be, because real life isn't a stupid porno, but maybe this world would reflect the senseless anarchy in the "plots" of pornographic films. In those movies, there is little to no justification necessary for people to start bumping uglies. It can be any place, any time, and any amount of people before they start to up and hitch up to the shaggin' wagon.

_ 'Hey there, Ma'am, I'm the plumber, I understand you have something wrong with your pipes?'_

Yeah, I wish.

"I am your slave for life," I said to Belle, half hoping she would suddenly rip off all her clothes and drag me to her kinky book dungeon. Maybe she'd read Chaucer aloud as she whipped me. Would that even be pleasurable? Shit, I was willing to try it.

Unfortunately, Belle wasn't a deranged sex fiend, so that didn't happen.

"That won't be necessary," she said. "But you know what, what I do want is for you to tell me the truth about what's really going on. It doesn't have to be right now, but eventually, I want you to tell me. Okay? Do you got that?"

I wasn't too wild about those terms but what could I say to her? I was backed into a corner.

"Shane!" she said after I failed to respond at all. "Do you understand? That's our arrangement. I'll help you if you tell me the truth about it all later. But only if you agree. Do we have a deal?"

I sighed. "Fine. Okay."

Belle thrust her hand out and I looked at it for a moment before weakly shaking it. The velvety softness all of a sudden felt much less velvety. Maybe it was me.

"Deal," she said. "I can't get involved in such a surreal scenario without eventually finding out the reason. It would drive me crazy for the rest of my life."

"That's a little melodramatic."

"Your weird little _life _is melodramatic!"

I laughed, despite myself. She definitely had a point there.

**{Oh man. Sorry for all the unexpected angst thrown in there, but how would **_**you**_** feel if you were trapped all alone in an alternate dimension with no food, friends, clothes, or shelter? Still, we're moving right along. I had some fun trying to imagine what this world's history would be like, sort of like how "Watchmen" tried to create a plausible alternate history resulting from the presence of superheroes. How **_**would **_**a country with Walt Disney as a smiling "Big Brother" type of dictator turn out? Still, I don't want to spend **_**too **_**much time exploring the background of this Disneyland America (that's not what you're here to read about, at least I think it's not) but I thought it might be interesting to throw in there a bit…create a little more illusion of reality.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed this latest chapter. Might be a little while before the next update because I have a paper to write and a math test to study for. (Dear math, you have my full permission to go jump off a bridge. Sincerely, me.) Don't forget to let me know what you think! Thanks, everyone.}**


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

I actually helped Belle go through the library to clear it out and make sure there wasn't anyone like _me _trying to stow away for the night. It was big enough that I imagined I could have probably found a way to remain undetected if I had really wanted to, but of course I hadn't really wanted to spend the night in such a place. It was better than sleeping on a park bench, but I was still holding hope I might get to spend the night on an actual bed, or at least a couch or something.

When I thought about it, it was a little peculiar that a high school student would be left in charge of locking up such a big, city owned building for the night, but if anybody was responsible enough to be given such a task, it was Belle. There were a couple other employees floating around but she had let already let them go home. (Even the faceless extras of this world had a place to go, it seemed. Only I was without.)

Her private conversation with her father hadn't lasted long, but it apparently went pretty well because she didn't come back to shrug and tell me, "Sorry, Chuck, you're out of luck." I was actually going to get to go home with her…Belle, likely future class valedictorian and unanimous babe.

I felt a secret tinge of satisfaction at this. Only Day One and I was already going home with the most unattainable girl in the school. _Shweeeeet! _(I mean, sure, she was only bringing me there out of pity, but hey, you gotta count your victories where you find 'em, am I right? The fellas will understand.)

After we had swept through the building, Belle locked up the big library doors and we stood out there to wait for her father to pick us up. It wasn't long before a clunky, beat-up old rust-bucket came clattering forward. We could hear it approaching before we saw it; it sounded sort of like a robot manatee simultaneously giving birth and being bisected. One of its headlights was out and lots of smoke was coming out the exhaust pipe, but to me, it was like getting picked up in a stretch limo.

"Whoa, is that a Pinto?" I asked, laughing in disbelief. "You guys have those here?"

Belle gave me a look. "Don't make fun." Her voice was slightly defensive.

"What? Oh come on, like I'm in _any_ position to be mocking anyone."

"Well I didn't want to be the one to remind you."

It came to a stop in front of the building and as we went down the steps, Belle looked at me and started talking in a quick, quiet voice.

"Okay, so my dad's a little eccentric, but he's still a very nice man, so try to be respectful, okay? No…locker room humor or whatever it is you're used to."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a wee tiny bit offended by that. "I'm not some kind of _animal_, Belle." (Of course, that was certainly debatable.)

"I'm just saying." She paused at the passenger side door before opening it.

"What?"

"Uh, just a disclaimer, where we live, it's not in, like, the worst part of town exactly, but it's right by the…uh…_sketchy_ area, if you will. Just so you know."

I grinned at her confidently. The idea of a ghetto in Disneyland was laughable (although the real-life surrounding city of Anaheim aka "Anacrime" might have a few words to say on that subject.) "I don't think I'm too worried about it."

"Just wanted to give you a head's up."

She swung open the door and I opened the back door, then we both climbed in.

"Hi, Papa," Belle said cheerfully, pecking her father on the cheek.

He was just as I remembered him to be: short, balding, portly, and with a bushy white mustache. He sort of _was _like a chubbier version of Professor Porter, although he seemed to be even more scatterbrained. But I could see the warmth in his eyes and in his smile. Clearly, Belle had been raised by a father who truly cared about her. I have no idea how she turned out so attractive, but her mom must have been a real looker because "Papa" wasn't exactly going to be winning any beauty pageants any time soon.

"Hello, sweetheart," he said, before twisting his chunky body back so that he could get a look at me. I immediately felt relaxed by his smile. "And you must be Belle's new friend Shane."

"Thank you so much for letting me come over for dinner, sir," I said. "It really means a lot."

"Oh, it's no problem at all," said Belle's father. "Really, it's not. I'm just glad to see Belle is talking to a boy again. After the way things ended with that Eric-"

"Papa!" Belle cried.

"Oh, sorry, honey," he apologized, giving me a conspiratorial wink. "You can call me Maurice."

I just smiled back at him, anxious to please, as he put the car back into drive. He didn't seem like he would be that hard of a guy to win over, as long as I stayed polite, friendly, and respectful of his daughter. Then again, my task at hand didn't exactly gel with the whole "respecting his daughter" bit at all. I was supposed to be some kind of sexual hurricane, indiscriminately plowing my way through all of these Disney heroines, if possible. Even Belle. It was highly doubtful that she would be exempt from the list. She was one of the most popular and idolized characters back home, if I remembered correctly.

Still, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little teeny tiny part of me that felt like an asshole for looking at the one person who was helping me out in this world as though she was simply a commodity to obtain and use…like a video game boss at the end of a level whose defenses I had to figure out how to exploit and defeat. I had to remind myself that she wasn't real; none of them were. There could be no guilt in manipulating what were essentially living cartoon characters.

But it had been chilly outside and the warmth I was feeling inside of the chugging, whistling vehicle certainly felt real, and it was definitely preferable to the alternative of bumming my own way outside, alone.

I decided I would take it slow with Belle. I had to. She was too smart, too self respecting to be easily manipulated by me. Sure, I could have fun messing with her proclivity for melodious movie lyrics about bakers and "great wide somewheres," whether she knew where it came from or not, but getting into her pants was a whole different story. If an opportunity presented itself, then sure, but for now, she was my only real ally and if I screwed things up with her by trying to jump her bones right away, just after I had practically met her, I would almost certainly and quite literally be left out in the cold.

There were plenty of other fish in the sea. Or _under _the sea, I should say. Heh-heh.

"What are you giggling about back there?" Belle asked me.

"What?" I asked, coughing. "Oh, nothing. I made a joke in my head."

"About what?"

"It's not even worth explaining."

Belle rolled her eyes and turned back around. "Mm-hmm. I should just say right now, sorry for his personality, Papa, he's a bit weird."

"Well that's perfect for our little family, isn't it?" he asked. "I know this may come as a surprise to you, Shane, but we _have_ been told by _some_ that we are a little…well, _odd."_

"I am _not_ odd!" Belle protested. She hesitated a moment before adding, "Am I?"

"Super odd," I said. "The _oddest. _I should call you Odd-Job, you're so odd."

"Ha!" Maurice barked. "That's a good one. Odd-Job. What a cute little name."

"There is _nothing _cute about that name, Papa," said Belle, a trifle annoyed.

"Oh, I don't know…"

"Do _not _encourage him."

"I've got way more where that came from," I said. "Believe me. I've got jokes for days."

"I _love _jokes!" Maurice exclaimed. "You know, Belle, I think I like him already. How'd you two meet?"

"She found me at the discount shop," I said. "I was half off. They were ready to throw me in the scrap heap when she got me, bless her soul."

Maurice burst out laughing. "The discount shop! That's hilarious!"

Belle shook her head. "I'm beginning to regret this already."

"Tell me another one!" Maurice said excitedly.

I tried to keep him amused for the next few minutes of our car ride, as Belle sat there trying not to face-palm every other second. Fortunately for me, Maurice was the best kind of audience, really easy to please. If more folks were like him, you'd see a lot more people braving stand-up.

I vaguely noticed that, outside, the buildings were growing a little more drab, the streets a little more cracked and rundown. It's not like there was much litter or people smoking crack on the corners or anything, but you could tell that after turning on a few streets, we weren't in the same type of upscale area that the school and library had been.

Then we came to a stoplight and I saw something that made me do a double take.

"Are those…_pirates?" _I asked incredulously.

I heard Maurice press the button that automatically locked our doors. Glancing at him and Belle, I saw they both had the same nervous look on their face.

On one of the corners of the intersection we were stopped at, there was a group of grungy looking ruffians loitering in front of a boarded up building near a dark alley. I wasn't sure if it was just my imagination, but they seemed to definitely have some kind of pirate theme going. Don't get me wrong, it's not like they had peg legs and big brass buckles on their shoes or anything, but most of them had bandanas, tattoos, scruffy faces, and I was pretty sure at least one had an eye patch.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"N-nothing, don't worry," said Maurice, but he didn't sound convincing at all.

"Papa, maybe you should just run the light," Belle said, her voice worried.

"No, I…I can't afford any more tickets."

"Is the money really worth it?"

"It's not just the money, Belle, it's the _police. _They're just looking for an excuse to…oh thank Disney, they're leaving."

Most of the pirates, some of whom had been looking over at our car with an unsettling leer, were heading back into the alley. However, the walking sign turned on for the pedestrian signal, and the remaining three began to cross the street, which led them right in front of where we were stopped.

"Oh confound it," Maurice sputtered.

"They waited for the light to turn," I said. "They can't be _that _bad. I mean, back in Los Angeles, the criminals-"

"Quiet," Belle said. Something in her tone made me comply.

The pirates, or whatever they were, looked over at us as they passed in front of our car. The vehicle was too much of a piece of junk to interest them at all, but when they caught a glimpse of Belle, big smiles appeared on their lips. I noticed more than one gold or silver tooth in those lustful grins as they suddenly stopped where they stood, right in front of our bumper.

"Papa…" Belle said.

A pirate made an obscenely ugly kissy face at her. Maurice's face turned pale.

One of the other pirates put his palms down on the hood and the kissy-faced one came around to the passenger side of the car, the side Belle and I were on, ill intent written all over his face.

"Papa!" Belle said, sounding alarmed.

"Hold on!" Maurice said as he slammed his foot on the gas. The tires squealed and then we jolted forward, just before the light turned green for us. The pirates jumped out of the way of our car as it sped forward, bolts and sparks presumably flying off the back, if not also a small trail of flames.

Belle slumped down in her seat in relief, breathing hard. "That was…" She trailed off.

"Are you both all right?" Maurice asked us, his voice a little shaky.

"Uh yeah," I said, not quite sure what almost just happened. "Can someone explain to me who those guys were?"

"Just a bunch of hoodlums up to no good!" Maurice spat. "They're ruining this side of town!"

"They're the Pirates," Belle muttered. "They're a gang. If you ever see some, avoid them like the plague. Nothing good ever comes from anything they're involved in."

"What do they do, loot and plunder?" I joked. "Board enemy ships, not take showers?"

This time, neither Belle nor Maurice were laughing.

"It's not a joke, Shane," Belle said. "They're bad news. Trust me. They've hurt a lot of people."

"Let's not talk about them anymore," said Maurice, cranking up the tinny music on the radio.

It wasn't too long before we came to a residential street tucked in between bigger streets that led to a little cul-de-sac right at the end. The houses were all pretty modest, but the street seemed quiet and lacking the danger factor that the way down here had.

"There it is," Maurice said, "Home sweet home."

Belle's one-story house sort of resembled her cottage from the movie. It definitely wasn't much bigger than her illustrated residence, but the little yard looked well tended and the paint job looked somewhat recent.

"That is an adorable little house," I remarked.

Belle looked back at me. "Stop it."

"No, I'm serious," I said. "I like it. This whole street seems nice. Nice and quiet."

"We have good neighbors," Maurice said. "People who care about keeping our neighborhood safe, which is getting harder and harder to do nowadays, what with those Pirates and Gypsies and Lost Boys running around, or whatever their names are."

The inside of the house was about what I expected. It was clean, if a little cluttered, and filled with books. There were also a lot of strange gizmos I couldn't even begin to describe, no doubt inventions of Maurice. I wondered what kind of modern job an "inventor" would have in this world. Maybe in his spare time he had invented Pinterest. That'd be pretty funny. But I imagined he'd be living in a nicer part of town if that were true.

There were many pictures hanging on the walls, and on the mantles. Most of them had a young Belle in them. She looked like she had been a happy kid. One caught my eye in particular: a picture of a younger, thinner, less bald Maurice with a beautiful smiling brunette woman. Belle was there between them, looking to be around seven or eight years old and happy as could be.

"Wow, you look just like your mom," I remarked.

Belle hesitated for a moment before saying, "Can I take your backpack?"

I glanced back at her. "Uh, sure. Thanks."

She took it and swiftly went to set it down behind one of the comfy looking couches. Maurice came and paused next to me. I saw a nostalgic smile appear on his face.

"Your wife was very beautiful," I said to him.

"Yes she was," he said, his voice distant, "It's a wonder how I got so lucky, huh?"

"No way," I said. "Look at you there. Look at that hair! You were a total stud!"

He cackled with laughter again. "Now I _know _you're joking!" He waggled a finger at me. "This guy's a real character, Belle, be careful around him. He could sell ice to an Eskimo."

"Oh trust me, I already know," she said.

"Now, usually Belle cooks," Maurice said as he began to move toward the kitchen. "But since you're here as her friend, I thought it might be nice if I try and whip something up."

Belle looked a bit alarmed as she took a step forward. "Papa, are you sure?"

He waved her off. "Yes, yes, Belle, I'm not helpless."

"I don't want you to burn the house down…"

"We survived when your mother passed, didn't we?"

Belle's eyes darted over to me for a millisecond. "That was some time ago…"

"It's not up for discussion!" Maurice said as he disappeared into the kitchen. "Go amuse yourselves until dinner is ready!"

I turned to Belle with a sleazy grin and wagged my eyebrows, which promptly earned me a laugh of ridicule. Damn it.

"Do you have any homework, Don Juan?" she asked me.

"Racist," I said.

Belle rolled her eyes as she turned, and then actually put a little bit of sauciness in her walk as she said, "Well I'm going to my room to work on homework. If you want to stay in here, be my guest."

I didn't need to be told _that _twice.

Her room was in direct contrast to the clutter of the den. It was nearly meticulous in its cleanliness and organization, save for a few books scattered about here and there. She had a desk with a computer and a chair near a window nook, which had a cushioned seating beneath the sill.

"Your room is disgustingly clean," I said.

"Well that's a bit of an oxymoron, now isn't it?" she asked, going over to her desk. "Do you want the chair?"

"No I'm good."

"You can do your homework on the window seat?"

"…homework?"

"Don't you have any?"

I laughed. "I don't care about _homework_."

Belle looked up at the ceiling. "Why doesn't _that _surprise me?"

"Because I'm obviously already too intelligent to need to do the drivel they assign us."

"Yes, _that's _it. That's _completely _what I was thinking. How'd you know?"

We settled into our sitting areas and I gazed out the window, at the moon and stars glimmering in the dark sky. I almost started singing, 'Somewhere Out There' before remembering that was from 'An American Tail,' which was most certainly not Disney. Singing a non-Disney song out here might get me zapped with lightning, or swallowed up by the ground, or something.

"Is your dad okay with us being in here alone?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't he be?" Belle asked pleasantly, playing dumb.

"Well, you know…we might _do _something…"

"Like what?"

I swung my legs around to face her and one of her eyebrows arched. "Well, I can show you better than I can tell you…if you'd like."

Belle started laughing again. "Not so fast, Turbo. Cool your jets."

Double damn it.

"Too shy?" I asked, going back to my seat and shrugging nonchalantly. "I understand. I'm a lot to handle for most girls, even the valedictorian of Disney High."

"I'm not the valedictorian."

"You will be."

"It's much too early to tell."

"So I'm too much to handle for the vice president of the senior class then, whatever."

"I think you're too much to handle for _yourself_."

I flashed what I thought to be a winning grin at her. "Sure about that?"

Belle just shook her head, looking amused. "You are positively villainous. My own father in the kitchen, cooking a meal for you, after letting you into his home out of the _kindness _of his _heart-"_

My expression soured. "Okay, okay-"

She was on a roll though and continued, "Out of the _KINDNESS _OF HIS HEART. And here you are trying to _TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIS GOOD WILL-"_

"**OKAY!**" I bellowed. "God!"

She stopped, looking smug as all get out, and I gave her a dirty look, not that she cared. She just sat there all perfect and pretty and judge-fuckin-mental.

"You're a terrible person."

"Shut up!"

Finally, Belle started giggling, quite pleased with herself. "I'm just trying to make sure you respect yourself, Shane. I'm looking out for you is all. You see?"

"Yeah thanks for the concern," I grumbled.

"Anyway, _I _am going to get started on my homework since _I _actually care about my future."

"Maybe I have more pressing concerns than just doing schoolwork," I shot back. "You know, like where I'm going to _sleep _for the night? Or for the rest of the year?"

Belle cringed a bit. "I'm still working on that."

But I was already pouting (mostly to make her feel bad.) It didn't say much for my self esteem to let a fictional character get the best of me in a war of words.

"I'm going to text some people, okay?" she said, her tone a little gentler. "We have some time."

"Easy for you to say."

"Hey!" she said. "I don't _have _to be doing any of this."

I glowered. "I know."

"I don't expect you to grovel or anything, but a little gratitude would be nice."

"THANKS."

"You're WELCOME."

We sat there in silence for awhile, after she sent a few texts without telling me who they were going to, and then started working on her homework. I plugged my phone into charge and actually really looked in it for the first time that entire day. To my dismay, all of my contacts were gone.

"You've gotta be kidding me," I mumbled.

"Hmm?" Belle asked.

"Nothing," I said. "Do you have, like, an Xbox or something?"

"A what?"

"Oh come on, are you serious?" I demanded. "You people don't even have video games here?"

"Oh," she said. "I've never played a video game in my life."

"But in this world there are PlayStations and Xboxes and Nintendo, right?"

"Uh, yeah, if that's what they're called. But we don't even own a TV in my house."

"WHAT?"

Belle looked defensive. "Don't look at me like we're so weird."

"Are you guys robots?"

"No! We're just _smart."_

"_Who _doesn't have a TV?"

"_We _don't, that's who."

"Why not?"

"Because we read a lot! There's so much-so much-mindless, inane…" Her voice dropped a couple octaves and she looked around the room before whispering, "…_bullshit _on the TV…"

I grinned. "Did you just _curse_, Belle?"

"I didn't want to. You made me."

"I didn't _make _you do _anything._"

"Well you got me all worked up. I'm very passionate about how incredibly stupid the media is and how stupid it makes other people our age act as a result. It's infuriating to me, it really is."

"Wow, Belle, tell us how you really feel."

"You're very annoying, you know that?"

"Got you all hot and bothered, do I?"

"You wish."

"Just saying."

"Let's talk about something else."

"Okay," I said, hesitating for a beat. "Let's talk about your mom."

Belle stared at me. "Why."

I shrugged. "I dunno. I'm just curious. You look just like her. Do you act just like her too?"

"I wish I was anything like her," Belle said. "She was a complete angel. Everybody loved her." She paused before adding, "She died when I was ten. Cancer."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I. But it's been a long time. So I've come to grips with it."

"You really do look like her. I'm not just saying that."

Belle couldn't meet my eyes but there was a shy smile on her face. "Thank you."

I smiled back at her. "You know, not many people would help me like you're doing."

"It's nothing."

"No it's not. It says a lot about you, Belle. I know it's not my place to say because I didn't know her, but…I bet your mom would be really proud of how you're helping out someone who needs it so badly."

It was hard to tell since she was avoiding my gaze but I could have sworn I saw her eyes start to mist up a little bit. That actually sent a shock to my system. I've never liked seeing girls cry, but there should be a law against letting girls as pretty as Belle get to the point of tears. It made me feel all anxious inside, for some reason.

We heard Maurice holler out, "Belle! Dinner's ready!"

"Finally," Belle said, quickly standing up and still avoiding my gaze. "Let's go eat."

I followed her out and thought I saw her run her fingers across her eyes for the briefest of seconds before continuing on as though nothing was wrong.

The two of us quickly set the table together and sat down as Maurice presented some kind of grilled salmon with these weird little potato cake things.

"Wow," I said.

"You really cooked this, Papa?" asked Belle. "You?"

"Surprised, aren't you?" he asked. "I'm not completely senile _yet_, Belle. I can still pull some magic out of the hat on occasion."

It actually tasted really good. It was the first good home-cooked meal I had had in awhile. Even back in my own world, I didn't get too many opportunities to eat very good meals. Whatever I could afford is what I ate, for the most part. That definitely didn't include very much expensive fish and whatever the hell the potato things were.

I felt an instinctive tinge of guilt wondering exactly how pricey this meal was, exactly. From what I had heard and seen, Belle and her dad weren't exactly rolling in money.

'They're not real,' I told myself. 'The second you leave this ridiculous place, they'll cease to exist. They're just the acid trip of some really bored vengeful deity that decided to have fun screwing with you.'

The voice in my head didn't sound all too convincing.

After I finished, Maurice asked if I wanted seconds of anything. I really could have eaten more, but I politely declined. Real or not, I didn't want to take any more than I needed to.

'Pussy.'

'Shut up.'

Belle and I both cleared the table together and when we took the dishes to the sink, she whispered to me, "I found somewhere for you to go."

I nearly dropped my plate. "Where?"

Belle didn't answer me but she called to her father, "Papa, can I drive Shane home?"

Maurice seemed a bit surprised and hesitant. "Well, I don't know, Belle. It's getting kind of late and you know how dangerous it is…"

"We'll be fine, Papa, I promise. It's just over in Atlantica, the _nice _part of town."

Maurice's face wrinkled like a bulldog's and he looked at the two of us some more. "Why don't I just drive us all?"

"I know you have to wake up for work very early; you don't want to drive to Atlantica and back."

"I'm not going to sleep very well if you're not home."

"I'll let you know the second I get back."

Maurice sighed. "All right, Belle, but _be careful._" He pointed at me. "Keep an eye on her, okay? And no funny business, you two. I might look young and spiffy but I wasn't born yesterday."

I smiled innocently. "You don't have to worry about that. Thank you so much for dinner."

He yawned. "It was my pleasure. Belle, let me know right when you get home."

She gave him a kiss and then he trudged off to his room. The old gent didn't look like he would last five minutes awake after hitting the pillow.

Belle watched him leave. "He works very hard, my father."

"He's a good guy."

"You've got that right."

I clapped my hands against my thighs, drawing her attention. "So. Who's taking me in for the night?"

"Nobody's 'taking you in,'" Belle said. "But someone has a place she can put you."

"Who?"

Belle grinned. "Ariel. She was very anxious to help."

Ariel. Of course. I should have known.

Belle dangled her father's keys. "Well let's get a move on. Atlantica is all the way on the other side of town."

"You sure I can't just sleep in your room tonight?" I asked hopefully.

Belle just laughed. "Sorry, handsome. There's simply no room."

"I'm good at squeezing into tight places."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Just go get your stuff."

I sighed and obeyed, heading hanging dismally as I went to retrieve my backpack and phone. It was time to see what Ariel had waiting for me.

I just hoped it wouldn't be underwater.

**{I just want to take a moment to thank everybody for the nice reviews. You guys are all really great. (Shadow, try and remember you already have a boyfriend, babe. What if he finds out about us? It'll be the end of me. I'm an artist, not a bruiser!) **

**Moving on…it's too bad things couldn't get spicier with Belle, but she's just too darn respectable to fall victim to Shane's charms…for now, that is mwahaha. Pshh, anyway, we'll see how things turn out with Ariel. She's definitely much more…_enthusiastic_, we'll say. Or so it seems. Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far; let me know what you think! I hinted at some of the groups not associated with the school...we're going to meet quite a few characters in the city that are not limited to life at Disney High. Many twists and turns lie ahead. I'll try to upload the next chapter soon (depends on how preparing for my math test goes *barf*). Thanks, everyone!}**


	14. Chapter 13

**{Forgotten about me yet? *GASP* I'm not dead, and neither is this story. Although, admittedly, it feels a little like resurrecting a zombie at this point, but I think it's only been a couple months since my last update. Anyway, more on what's been going on with me after the chapter!}**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"So tell me about this Atlantica," I yawned.

Belle was driving me in her dad's rusty old car to a place we would be meeting Ariel. I could actually hear sirens in the distance, and the squealing of tires. No gunshots yet but I was keeping my eyes open. Imagine dying by a chance gunshot wound in the wonderful world of Disney! Let me get poisoned by a toxic apple, sure, or disemboweled by the claws of Shere Khan, _fine_, but don't let me be the idiot who bites it by getting capped in the face by a random street thug, Disney forbid!

"It's this big gated community in the nice part of town," Belle explained. "It's quite _bourgeois_. You don't have to worry about getting jumped by Pirates or robbed by Gypsies over there, believe me_."_

"Well that's good at least." I contemplated something. "So where exactly did Ariel say she was gonna put me?"

"She wasn't too specific but she said it was a place you could sleep and no one would bother you. It was all I could really find with such late notice."

"I'm not complaining."

"Good. Because you _shouldn't._"

"I mean, if at any point in the middle of the night, you get to feeling lonely or sorry for me…"

"Mm, that's not going to happen. Fortunately, I'm a real deep sleeper."

"So you wouldn't even notice if I snuck back in there then."

Her eyes flashed at me. "Well _that's _got to be high on the list of creepiest things you've ever said to me."

"You have a list?"

"Maybe."

"And to think we only barely know each other," I said. "We have so much time to add to it!"

"I can't believe I even have to say this, but _don't _be a total creep around Ariel, okay? She's so young and naïve and she really thinks you're something special. I haven't the faintest idea _why…_but she does."

I let out a long, wavering sigh. "I _know _she does, and don't worry, I'm _not _gonna be creepy. I just like messing with you because you can take it."

"That's right I can."

"Now that we're on the subject, you know what _else _I bet you could take?"

"Shane!" She slapped me on the shoulder, and I laughed and recoiled. Worth it.

Belle wasn't lying when she had said Atlantica was nice. If anything, that was the understatement of my journey so far. The front gates we rolled up to looked like they were made of solid gold, which actually stood out as pretty gaudy to me in the dark of night. She stopped next to a security box, typed in a code, and then they swung open without so much as a creak.

Belle drove in, turned on the first street, and immediately we were surrounded by huge, majestic houses on both sides. These places were _fancy_. Lots of different types of architecture-look on one side, see a New England style manor with white columns, black trimmed windows, and a porch swing. On the other, cast a glance to see a brick driveway leading up to a sort of tan colored mansion with an almost Roman coliseum type of entranceway in front of the front door and rounded wings of the house extending out on either side. There were lights lined up under all the sections of the roof just so we could presumably see the pricey monstrosity in all of its glory, but they were already turned off. In fact, most of the lights in these houses were off, except for the porch lights, on occasion. Maybe they were all early to bed types, but it occurred to me that a lot of the people rich enough to live in houses like these may not even live here all of the time. How many of these structural testaments to fabulous wealth were sitting here like empty suburban catacombs, each an individual Cave of Wonders?

We ended up going pretty deep into the neighborhood, and then turned into a little side road that drove past a grassy area. Further off, I could see a baseball field and a playground. Belle parked the car next to the sidewalk.

I looked at her apprehensively. "You guys aren't gonna make me sleep in the playground, are you?"

"What's wrong with the playground?" Belle asked, opening her door and stepping out.

I hurried after her. "No, but seriously. Not the playground, right?"

"Ariel said to go up the hill over here," Belle said, turning on a flashlight and beginning to walk up the grassy hill. I had no choice but to follow.

"Are you two gonna chop up my body, harvest my organs, and bury the rest of the pieces somewhere up here? Because I'm totally not okay with that."

"Wow, you really are a big sissy, aren't you?"

"I feel like an escaped slave in the Underground Railroad."

"Melodramatic much?"

"I think it's a pretty good analogy, actually."

And I did. I basically was a sort of refugee here. If the truth of my circumstances was ever discovered, my complete lack of identity in this world, who knew what the consequences might end up being? For now, I was going to have to bounce around from place to place until I found a more permanent living situation. Until then, I was completely at the mercy of those more fortunate than I. Which was basically everyone.

We ended up outside of a tiny little studio at the top of the hill that was partially hidden by a grove of trees. It seemed pretty isolated, which was cool, but a little creepy too.

"Is this it?" I asked.

Belle looked around. "I think so. It's what she described. Let's see if the door's open."

We walked over to the little front door and tried to open it. Locked.

"Huh," said Belle. "Maybe this isn't it."

"Call Ariel," I said.

"Hi guys," said a voice.

Immediately, a high pitched girlish scream pierced the air. I whirled around, terrified by the sound, and jumped into Belle's arms, only to see Ariel standing there behind us.

"Shh!" Ariel hissed at me. "Are you trying to wake up all the neighbors?"

"Belle's the one who screamed," I said in a mopey voice.

Belle pushed me off of her. "That was _you!_"

I frowned. Hmm. After a second of consideration, I came to the conclusion that, apparently, the girly shriek had indeed come from me.

"No matter," I said. "Moving on. Is this where you're gonna hide me?"

Ariel's head quickly bobbed up and down in a nod. "This is the place!"

"Cool," I said, looking it over. "Like my very own mini bachelor pad. Thanks!"

"Don't get your hopes up too much," she said. "It's pretty cluttered in there."

"Hey, I'll take cluttered over sleeping on the jungle gym any day."

"He thought we were going to stick him on the playground," Belle told Ariel.

Ariel giggled. "Maybe we should."

I let them laugh at me for a few seconds before sighing as audibly as I could. They stopped laughing and I stretched my hands high over my head, yawning.

"Golly gee whillikers, I sure am sleepy!"

"Okay, you big baby," said Ariel. "I can take it from here now, Belle."

"Good luck with him," Belle said. "Wow. I feel like I'm dropping off a little stray dog."

"Thanks," I said.

"Don't let him get into the garbage or he'll get sick. And remember to let him out every so often or he'll make a mess on the carpet."

"BYE, Belle!" I said, annoyed.

She grinned and then waved at us. "Okay, bye, sweetheart! Be a good boy for Auntie Ariel! Mommy will you see at obedience school in the morning!"

"Wow, you should be a comedian."

Belle just winked at me and then began walking down the hill to her car alone. We watched her disappear from sight and then it was just the two of us standing out there in the dark, Ariel and me, senior and freshman, the two of us all by ourselves with no one looking.

"Well I'll unlock it now," Ariel said suddenly, brushing past me.

She was wearing a lavender hoodie, tiny little shorts, and flip flops. It was a little cold to just be in shorts, but I figured she had been comfortable in her room before coming out here. She probably wasn't planning on being out here very long.

The door opened and I stepped inside after her. She turned on a light and I have to admit, my jaw dropped a little at what I saw.

The whole interior was filled with from top to bottom with a vast array of innumerable items. Most of it appeared to be art-related, but there were other random things too. Paintings were on the walls, as well as statues and ceramic figurines, music boxes, record players, dolls, and items that looked as though they belonged in a 4th grade classroom's storage closet. There were globes and mini whiteboards and blackboards and markers and maps and textbooks and even some furniture here and there, buried amidst the zillion objects and trinkets.

"Whoa, did, like, an old elementary school explode in here or something?" I asked.

Ariel instantly turned self-conscious. "It's a little cluttered but, I mean, I know everything that's here."

"There's no way you know everything that's in here. It would take a clean-up squad years to get through this mess."

She was pouting. "Well if you don't like it, you can just-"

Not wanting to appear ungrateful, I quickly said, "No, no, it's _fine_. It's better than fine; it's great, really, thank you. I'm just…where do I sleep?"

"There's a _futon_," she said, as though I were both blind and retarded. She walked over to what looked to be nothing more than a nondescript pile of junk, and after a quick burst of hard-to-follow rearranging, she managed to excavate a dusty old futon.

I went over to it and gingerly sat down. Almost immediately, a spring popped through a small patch of fabric next to me like a chestburster in one of the Alien movies.

We stared at it.

"Hello there," I said to the spring. "Please tell your friends not to follow your example."

"Maybe we can duct tape that back down," Ariel said, looking around. "I know there's some duct tape around here somewhere."

Before she could start digging around anymore and potentially kill us both, I grabbed the sleeve of her sweatshirt and yanked her back.

"I'll take a busted spring over death in a junk avalanche any day," I told her. "Just chill."

Glaring, she sat down next to me and said, "It's not junk!"

"If you try to fit anything else in here, you're gonna forget where the door is and have to live out the rest of your days as a trash hermit."

"Are you kidding me?" she asked, suddenly jumping up and holding her arms out. "Look at this stuff! Isn't it neat?"

"At this point," I said thoughtfully, "I'd have to think your collection's complete."

"Wouldn't you think I'm the girl?"

"What girl?"

"The girl who has everything!"

"Whoa!" I said, jolting back in my seat after realizing what we had just been loosely reciting. "I did _not _even do that one on purpose!"

"What are you talking about?" Ariel asked.

I shook my head. "I don't know. Carry on."

"You have to understand," she said, "I _know_ it looks like there's a lot of random stuff in here. But-"

"You've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty," I couldn't help but add.

"I've got whozits and whatzits galore!" she agreed.

"You got thingamabobs?"

She nodded eagerly. "I've got twenty!"

"That _is_ an impressive amount of thingamabobs," I admitted. "Hey, is that a pet rock?"

Ariel let out a loud sigh. "But seriously, who cares? I mean, it's no big deal. I just…"

I looked up at her, knowing where she was going with this. "You want more."

Ariel's eyes lit up and she darted back onto the futon, sitting really close to me. Like, _uncomfortably _close. I tried to scoot away a little bit, but there wasn't really any escape from her.

"You're right, Shane!" she said. "You're so right! I _knew _you'd understand! None of this is enough for me anymore!"

"Was it ever?" I asked, twisting my head back away from hers.

She looked around dreamily. "When I was a little kid, I loved this place. It was my mom's art studio. She used to draw and paint and make all kinds of cool things in here. It was like a little arts and crafts center, and she let me come in whenever I wanted to. I would lay on the ground and color and look up, and my mom would be right there, hard at work on something awesome and creative."

I didn't really know anything about Ariel's mom. The movie didn't ever cover it, to my knowledge, so I had no idea what her real-world counterpart would be like. From the way Ariel was talking about her, though, and from what I knew about Disney's track history with parents, I was guessing that her mother was probably as dead as Belle's was.

"So, was your mom, like, some kind of artist?" I asked.

"Not in any, like, official sense," she replied. "She was an elementary school teacher. She was super creative."

"Wow, a teacher. Were you ever in her class?"

"No," Ariel said with a sigh. "Now I wish I had been. People are too suspicious of preferential treatment and all that. It's hard enough now for us with my dad being the superintendent. People always think my sister and I get good grades because teachers aren't allowed to fail us, which is _not _at all true."

"Whoa, your dad's the superintendent?" I questioned, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

Ariel waved her hand. "Yeah but it's no big deal. He's too busy with all the other schools in the district to worry about just ours. But it's annoying because, it's like, he's so incredibly busy all the time that he almost never sees us, but at the same time, he tries to make up for it by being all way over-protective, and it just gets on my nerves! Like, let me live my life and stop pretending that you care all of a sudden just because Mom died!"

There was an awkward silence. She sat there breathing hard, a little worked up by her rant. I didn't really know how to respond, so I didn't. I just sat there quietly, until Ariel suddenly grabbed her sweatshirt.

"I'm hot," she said, and then she pulled it off over her head, tossing it carelessly aside next to her.

"Whoa," I said, feeling very nervous. This was the definition of jailbait sitting here, in a teeny-tiny tank top and teeny-tiny shorts, and a wrathful, powerful father somewhere in the very nearby house. If someone were to walk in on us, things would not look good.

Oblivious to my anxiety, Ariel looked at me with a pensive expression. "When my mom died, my dad was just gonna get rid of all of her art materials, and the stuff from her classrooms and everything. I didn't want him to, so I had them put it all in here, and it's kinda been my secret place ever since then."

"Nobody else in your family comes in here?" I asked.

She shook her head. "My dad never came in here even when my mom was _alive_, and Aurora is too scared of black widows, she says."

I quickly picked my feet up off the ground. "There are black widows in here?"

Ariel shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Don't be a baby."

"I'm not a baby, I just don't usually like to sleep with spiders. Or beetles or cockroaches, or any bugs, really. Rats and snakes too, for that matter."

"Yeah well you don't have a choice so suck it up," Ariel said. "I've never been bitten by anything out here except mosquitoes, so I think you'll survive."

"So what's your hang-up with this place then?" I asked. "If you're not worried about the dust or the bugs."

"My sister's always been, like, perfect and popular," Ariel said, her expression annoyed just at the mention of her beautiful older sister. "She never gets in trouble or anything. She's kinda like my dad; they both care about what people think about them. Like, super uptight sometimes, you know? My mom was a free spirit; she didn't care what people thought about her, and that's how I am. Or, at least, that's how I used to be. But it's different now that I've entered high school."

"It's only your first day of high school," I said disbelievingly. "How can it already be different?"

"It is!" she protested, turning again to face me. "I can already tell! I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm a young woman now."

"Come on," I said. "You're still just a kid. You're not gonna be legal drinking age for like a decade."

"That's not true! I'm fifteen! I'm gonna be sixteen this year!"

"Sixteen? That's sophomore age."

"I started school a year late," Ariel said, rolling her eyes. "I was kinda wild as a little kid. They thought I had ADD or something. My dad held me out of school until he was convinced I was emotionally mature enough to handle it. So I've always been a year older than everyone. That's why Alice always makes fun of me that I'm 'retarded,' like I was held back. But I wasn't held back. I just started late is all."

"You sound like you have a lot of angst," I commented blandly.

"It's hard being fifteen and a girl, okay?" Ariel said. "I have all these thoughts and feelings and no one to share them with!"

"You have friends…"

"They're all so _young_," Ariel said. "I can't stand people my own age. Alice always has her head in the clouds, I feel like she's never listening to me half the time. And everybody else is way too immature for my tastes. I like older people! They have way better conversations, about way deeper stuff! And I'm totally a deep person!"

All I could do was chuckle. "You need to just chillax and enjoy being a teenager while you can. Trust me, you're gonna miss these years. You never get them back." I paused and then added, "Well, unless you piss off some all-powerful animation icon and his demonic cat."

Ariel was staring. "See, I never understand what you're saying half the time."

"Nobody does," I muttered.

"But I _want _to!" Ariel exclaimed, getting up on her knees next to me. "I used to be happy running off playing in the woods and the grass and stuff, and coming up in here, but now I want to be out there, living and breathing and getting the most that I can out of being alive! I want to make high school the best years of my life! But all the people my age are so _lame…especially _the guys."

Uh-oh. She was staring at me now with her big blue eyes, looking like a red-headed teenage Alyssa Milano, all lost and hopeful and vulnerable. This was trouble. This was definitely trouble, for me, for her, for everyone.

Ariel grabbed my hands. "You think I'm pretty, don't you?"

I pulled them away. "Ariel, you're only fifteen."

"So?" she demanded. "What are _you, _seventeen?"

"I think I'm eighteen," I said. "I'm not sure."

"What do you _mean _you're not sure?"

"Look, Ariel, I appreciate you putting me up for the night," I said, "but I'm really tired. I can tell you've got a lot on your mind and I'd love to talk to you about it all, but-"

"The least you can do is hear me out right now!" Ariel cut me off with surprising gusto. "Nobody ever listens to me!"

"Okay!" I said, exasperated. "Answer me this one question."

"Only if you answer mine first!"

"Answer _what_?!"

"My question! Do you think I'm pretty?!"

"Questions usually have question marks at the end of them. What you just shouted definitely had an exclamation point."

"Stop stalling with grammar lessons and answer me!"

"Okay, fine, jeez, _**YES**_**, **you're pretty. Happy now?"

She glowered suspiciously at me. "Are you telling the truth or are you just trying to get me to shut up?"

"Both," I answered with complete honesty. "Now you answer me."

"Okay."

"Are most of these age-based insecurities stemming from some unrequited crush you have on Eric?" I asked.

Ariel gasped and scrambled back a bit so that there was some space between us. "Who told you about Eric?"

"Every time I've heard his name mentioned, you get this look on your face," I said. "It's obvious you have feelings for him. But you know he was dating Belle, who I know you admire. That had to feel like a bit of a betrayal. And now, after they've broken up, he's with Jasmine, one of the richest girls in school, a girl even you yourself said should be cheer captain over your sister because she's so glamorous. With him dating two of the hottest and most high-profile girls at Disney High, that's probably left you feeling like you're trapped in some state of limbo, huh? Too pretty and 'mature,' apparently, to be much interested in the boys your own age, but too young and new to the scene to get noticed by the guy you really have your eyes on. Am I right about all this?"

To be honest, Ariel looked a tad overwhelmed. I guess she really hadn't gotten to talk this directly about her dilemma. But the good thing was that now, I was in control.

"Look, Ariel," I said when she failed to muster up any words. "I know it feels like high school will last forever. But you're only your first day in. And Eric might _seem _like the coolest guy ever, but there's gonna be plenty other fish in the sea."

"I'm so tired of fish!" Ariel sighed.

I decided to let that one pass. "The point is, there are more important things than worrying about impressing teenage boys. And as far as they're concerned, teenage boys are a dime a dozen. There will be other guys besides Eric. And who knows? Maybe before it's all said and done, you two will end up together in the end."

It seemed like an hour Ariel was sitting there going over my words, but in reality, it was probably only a minute or so of silence. (Catching Ariel in a moment of silence is about as rare as seeing Halley's Comet so forgive me for my hyperbole.)

Finally, she said, "I am so glad I met you, Shane. You're able to, like, look right into my soul, and see all the secrets I try to hide."

Incredibly, it seemed my attempts at diffusing any sexual tension by embarrassing her with the mentioning of her not-so-secret crush had backfired. If anything, she seemed to be even _more _enamored with me now.

I had never felt more like a genuine Mary-Sue.

"It's not that hard, Ariel," I said. "Teenage girls aren't all that complicated."

"If only _all _guys agreed with you! We're not that hard to understand! If only any of them _tried _like you do-"

"OKAY," I said, having had enough. "Seriously now, Ariel. It's late. If your dad or anyone notices you're gone, we're both gonna be toast."

Ariel rolled her eyes. "He won't notice."

"Well you might be willing to risk that, but I'm not. And I'm really tired. So thank you for letting me crash in your mom's old art studio, you're a great friend, I owe you one, and now I'm gonna go to sleep. We've got school in the morning."

She had a saucy little look on her face. "Did you say you _owe _me one?"

"Oh my god," I groaned. "Ariel. Child. Little girl. Go to sleep. Please."

"I _really _wish you'd stop calling me 'little girl!'" she said, standing up in a huff. "That's so annoying! You're _not _that much older than me!"

"You don't even know anything about me," I told her. "I could be a psycho serial killer for all you know."

"Like I'd be afraid of _you._"

I let out a loud yawn. "Okay, time to go night-night. Thanks for everything. Good night." I settled down on the futon and closed my eyes, hoping that playing possum would cause her to lose interest and leave on her own accord.

Ariel stood there like she wasn't sure whether she wanted to leave or jump on top of me, but after a few moments, she let out an irritated sigh and spun on her heel.

"You're so annoying."

And with that, she actually left the cluttered little studio and closed the door behind her.

It was quiet for all of about five seconds before I heard that old familiar feline voice say, "Well aren't you just a giant weenie."

"Of course you'd be here," I said, not opening my eyes. "I'm trying to go to sleep, if you don't mind."

The Cheshire Cat said, "She was _right there! _Ripe for the picking! And you let her walk away."

"She's fifteen."

"So? She's not _real_, according to you."

Annoyed, I opened my eyes and sat up to see him sitting atop an old globe in the dark, looking quite disappointed in my lameness.

"Just goes to show you how easy this will be," I said. "I can take my time with them. If I don't feel like starting off with a fifteen year old, that's my prerogative."

The Cat rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe I should have made _you_ fifteen…"

"No!" I said, panicking a little. "I mean, just, chill, okay? I'm gonna do what I have to do. She's just one girl, and my tastes skew older anyway. Sue me, jeez."

"Very well," said the Cat. "We'll see what you're made of soon enough. I hope you don't think you're gonna hide out here all year, do you?"

"Well I'm not planning on being here for a whole year," I said. "Unless you know something I don't."

"I'm just making the observation that you're not gonna have an easy time of completing your task if you're bringing girls back to this dump."

"I will GLADLY upgrade to the penthouse apartment you've failed to give me," I said, my voice rising a couple octaves.

"Well we can't make it that easy for you," sniffed the Cat. "Just remember, we did this for our own amusement, so we're hoping to see at least _some _action soon."

"Sorry I'm not satisfying your perverted appetites, you and whoever you're with."

The Cat started to laugh as his body began to disappear into the shadows until all I could see was his leering grin.

"There are a _lot_ more perverted appetites hoping to get satisfied by witnessing your adventures than you know..."

And then, even his grin was gone.

**{So, WOW. It's been awhile. I don't even know if this has an audience anymore, but that's okay. I'll still try to update it whenever I can, if I can.**

**So where have I been and what have I been up to, you ask? (I assume someone's asking. Maybe this is just me talking to myself. No matter, I'll talk to myself all I want.) Well, my school semester ended and I decided to try and make some things happen for myself this summer in the writing world. It pays to live in the greater Los Angeles area, so I have definitely been trying to go into Hollywood to find some opportunities and take advantage of them. The good news is, I may have quite a few exciting ventures coming my way very soon. I've written some feature-length scripts (none of them Disney-inspired, unfortunately) to try and get picked up, and I may possibly get the chance to be brought onboard to write professionally for television. (I can't say for what…I'm not sure that even if I do get the jobs, I'll be able to say. Much of the appeal of fan-fiction is through its anonymity, so I may or may not ever make my identity publicly known, especially if I actually start getting paid to write soon. I'm a nobody right now, but who knows where I'll be in a few months. I guess we'll see!)**

**Anyway, as far as the story goes, I do remember the various storylines and I hope to write in this thing whenever I have time. Unfortunately, since this is just an anonymous online fan-fic, it's ultimately just a hobby, and I've had a lot of other writing stuff on my plate that's taken priority. If everything goes right, my plate will get even more stuff, so while it'll be tough balancing this with material I can actually get paid for, I will do my best to continue this tale of the accidental Mary-Sue and his shameful task!**

**Thanks for reading, everyone (…anyone?), and let me know what you think in the reviews if you can. Interested to know if anyone's left (haha). Can't promise when the next update will be, but hopefully it will be soon! Until next time…}**


	15. Chapter 14: Belle's Diary

**{Okay, here's a little changeup for you guys. As a reward for still existing (and staying loyal despite my unannounced leave of absence), I decided I'd hurry and upload this next chapter because it's short and a little different from the norm. I know one thing (among many) that separates this story from most of the other high school stories is the first-person limited original character P.O.V. As a narrative structure, it has its strengths and weaknesses. It provides a more focused narrative and a solid character arc, but I imagine that in a story featuring many diverse examples of your favorite known characters, some of you might be unsatisfied seeing only my character's perspective alone. Even if you're not, I'm sure there are some of you wondering what some of the other characters are thinking, right?**

**Well, this chapter is the first of who knows how many where we'll catch a glimpse into the mind of one of the many non-OC characters who you already know and love. The vast bulk of the story will still be from Shane's perspective, as we're used to, but I'm planning to sprinkle diary entries intermittently throughout from different characters. It won't be all the time but they'll pop up here and there. Better yet, I'll see what you guys think and go from there.**

**Anyway, without further ado, I present to you a peek into the thoughts of Belle, our beloved bookworm. Enjoy!}**

**Chapter Fourteen: Belle's Diary**

Well today was something else.

I'll admit, I've been looking forward to the first day of school for weeks now. No, not because I'm some huge _nerd_ (even though I know that's what everyone thinks.) It's just been really hard at home lately, what with all of the ceaseless financial issues. I know Papa is feeling a lot of pressure and the strain isn't good for his heart. I wish I could fast forward straight to jumping into a lucrative career so that I could make enough money to take care of him. I would love nothing more than for him to be able to retire and enjoy the rest of his life without the strain of being a single father, with all of the financial burdens of raising a child, falling onto his shoulders alone.

But I don't want to write about any of that right now. I think about it all the time…I shouldn't have to read about it in my diary.

What I _would _like to write about is the unexpected arrival to Disney High School. His name is Shane Barrera and I can honestly say that I have _no _idea where he came from. It's almost as if he fell out of the sky, as though he were some kind of Martian. He certainly seems to have the manners of an alien some of the time.

That's not to say he's completely detestable, like Gaston. (The big Neanderthal acted completely in character today. No surprise there, but I suppose it's nice to know that _some _things in this world remain consistent. Unlike _Eric_…but I digress, Diary.) Of course, at first I thought Shane was a complete creep. He was talking to Ariel and Alice, who are both only freshmen. Ariel is way too friendly for her own good some of the time, and I was worried that this little exchange was the latest example of her poor judgment in males. (Not that I'm one to talk…ugh, I hate how Eric keeps popping up where he's not supposed to! Can't I ever be free of him?)

Anyhow, I went over to investigate and he pretty much immediately made a jerk of himself. First off, he got this weird look in his eyes when he looked at me…like he was trying to remember something, or figure out what to say. Then he made some dumb joke about getting kicked out of his old high school for "impregnating too many underclassmen." Smooth, right?

Fortunately, he's turned out not to be as dumb as he looks or sounds. He has a subversive sense of humor and he seems to gravitate toward trouble and confrontation (not necessarily on purpose, which might actually be worse, if you think about it.) He nearly got into a big fight with Gaston whilst trying to defend me, which was a noble but stupid gesture. Now I feel responsible for trying to keep him alive, at least until Gaston gets distracted with something shiny and forgets his latest petty vendetta. Fortunately, he cycles through them pretty quickly so it may not take too long. I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to the first football game so that he can get out some aggression, and maybe lose interest in trying to kill Shane.

Shane is, for his part, a former football player, apparently, which doesn't win him many points in my book. I had assumed as much looking at him that first time. He's okay-looking, I suppose, but he had the smug demeanor of someone who thinks he's more desirable than he really is, a common trait I recognize from being around plenty of our own dumb jocks. Still, he seems to have a good heart lurking somewhere beneath all of his macho bravado and sarcasm, which I suspect may be some type of defense mechanism. He seems to not come from a lot. After school, he found me at the library and claimed he had nowhere to stay, no family to worry about him, no possessions aside from the clothes he was currently wearing. It sounded ludicrous but there was something about the way he said it…a look in his eyes, I don't know…I believed him for some reason.

So I've agreed to look out for him and try to help him get through this school year. It's partly out of pity, but I can admit that a lot of my willingness to help him stems from simple curiosity. It's so boring around here all the time and this at least is a break from the "same old" that I've gotten so tired of. Who knows what's in the cards for me concerning college? This might be a welcome distraction for now. I don't know what the real truth is about Shane or his strange story, which he claimed he had to intentionally leave vague for the time being. I have no idea how somebody could just pop up on campus one day, enrolled in classes despite the lack of an address or much in the way of a tangible history, but here he is all the same. It lends credence to my Martian theory, at least.

We'll see what happens.

As for the rest of today? Some things went as expected. Wendy is in full Class Council Overdrive Mode. We had to have a meeting at lunch, which Eric was of course late to. I guess Jasmine keeps him on a short leash. Do I sound bitter? I shouldn't. It was _my _idea to break up, after all. But I don't want to talk about him! We both basically acted like we didn't know each other, but I could just feel everyone else staring at us, as if they were waiting for one of us to explode and start screaming about our personal lives. Our _issues._

Well, if _that's _what they're all hoping for, they can keep on hoping. I would never give them the satisfaction of having a big, public argument for everyone to gossip about later. As if any of them need more fuel for gossip. I positively loathe all of the petty drama that they all seem to live for. In my opinion, that kind of nonsense belongs more on a TV high school soap opera than it does real life, but I'm sadly in the minority when it comes to that subject. While they're all watching their mindless sitcoms and reality shows, I'll be delving into real, actual original works of creativity and trying to think for myself. Don't mind me; I'm just the girl in the corner with a book and an opinion.

I think I'll do well in all of my classes. I really don't care about being valedictorian, despite what Milo thinks…I just want to do my best. If there's homework, I'll try to get all the right answers. If there's a test, I'll study for it. It's not rocket science. This has always been the way I conduct myself. It's what Mom taught me. (I missed her a lot today, but that's another story I'm too tired to go into right now. Disney knows I've filled plenty enough of these pages about her, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be getting any easier to live life without her.) Anyway, I really don't think it's that hard to do what's expected of all of us academically, but then again, my social life is probably a bit lacking compared to other girls like Aurora or _Jasmine…_*barfing noises* The only class I'm remotely worried about excelling in is Ethics, with the notorious Mr. Frollo.

Diary, you know I try not to be too judgmental if I can help it, but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't something about the man that gives me the creeps. He popped out of nowhere today when Gaston was harassing Tiana, Shane, and me with his idiocy. I've never seen anyone who could make Gaston wilt like a little daisy before, until today. Mr. Frollo went off on this chilling tirade about whipping and archaic punishments the school board has ruled against, despite his ardent support of them. I hope he doesn't think I'm some kind of delinquent now just because I was caught in the middle of Gaston and Shane's little tiff (although I admit Shane never would have drawn Gaston's ire if it weren't for me. Why can't the dumb brute just leave me alone? Some guys can't take a hint.)

I caught a brief glimpse of Ms. Maleficent passing through the halls today. She gave me this peculiar little smile and told me that she is anxious to see how I perform this year amidst all of the excitement "looming nigh on the horizon." I can't quite explain it because she's only said nice things to me (I think), but for some reason, I get the impression that she doesn't like me very much. It's troubling, but maybe it's only my imagination. Disney knows it runs away with my thoughts sometimes. I know what _some _people say about her, all the rumors that she's involved in illicit activities in her personal life. As though she's in the Mafia or something equally ridiculous. It really is laughable, some of the rumors floating around campus. I don't really give much thought to any of that nonsense, though. How would any of our students know about Ms. Maleficent's personal life? I think all of the misguided rumors have sprung up just because of how mysterious she is. People get intimidated by such a confident, successful woman. They don't know what to make of one, especially one who's running our school. I know how some people look at me just because I like to _read_, as though it's such an outdated concept. I just wish I could get a better impression of how she views me, but perhaps it's better that I don't know.

Well, I had better get to sleep. Tomorrow's a new day, and if it's even _half _as eventful as today was, I'll have a lot to write about. I'm almost a little _excited_, to tell the truth. (Shh, don't tell anyone.)

Good night, Diary.

P.S. I love you, Mom. We're still missing you down here…

Love, Belle

**{Well that was different, wasn't it? I hope you guys liked seeing a different perspective (and getting to hear someone else's perception of our intrepid hero.) I appreciate all the reviews you're giving and I am happy to say that I'm already working on the next chapter, which is back to Shane's POV. Not sure when I'll finish it, but hopefully soon. **

**Anyway, thanks again, everyone. Let me know what you think.} **


	16. Chapter 15

**{What is this, **_**another **_**new chapter? How many has it been now in the last few days? Who AM I? I feel like I don't even know myself…this isn't like me! I should be taking a couple months off between updates, come on now! Well, enjoy while it lasts… :p**** }**

**Chapter Fifteen**

In the morning, Ariel smuggled me some toothpaste, a toothbrush, an apple, and some kind of biscuit for breakfast. She also brought me a black V-neck shirt which belonged to Phillip, her sister's boyfriend, and some of her dad's athletic socks. She said Phillip had random articles of clothing floating around their house in various places. I wondered if that meant that he was often stripping down for some sexy-time with Aurora but Ariel claimed they were all left behind from the many times he went swimming at their house. Apparently, the Triton household was equipped with an outdoor pool as well as an _indoor _pool, an extravagance which I had never gotten to experience in my other life. After a night of restless sleep, that other life was already beginning to feel further and further away.

I figured I would have to find some time to shower in the locker room and the world was just going to have to accept whatever my hair was doing after a quick application of water and some run-throughs with my fingers. In a realm of beautiful princesses and dashing prince types, I couldn't afford to be high-maintenance. Not yet, at least.

Phillip was coming by to pick up Aurora, like he always did. This year, Ariel was part of the package and we decided I could try to hitch a ride with the two of them also, despite my having never yet spoken to either.

Off on my own, I strategically positioned myself behind a large, well-manicured hedge of bushes next to Ariel's and Aurora's house. When I saw Phillip's white Mustang pull up, I got ready to stroll casually out into their path. I would be so friendly and charming that they would think nothing of allowing me to hop onboard. It would only be natural to invite such a pleasant, amiable young gentleman such as myself to ride along with them.

Of course, I wasn't planning on being attacked by the hungry raccoon who also happened to be hiding in the bushes. Unfortunately for me, I still had a little bit of my biscuit in my hand while I was peeking out at Aurora and Ariel walking down their driveway, and I didn't notice the chubby little bandit lurking in the shadows with big eyes full of lustful desire.

In an instant, I was screaming and spinning around, trying to shove the feral critter off of me, but he had pretty instantly devoured what was left of the biscuit and was now trying to get into my pockets for more. (And there _was_ no more.)

"GET OFFA ME, YOU STUPID-ARRRRGHHFFFFFFF!"

I lost my balance and tumbled forward out of the bushes. The raccoon, for his part, managed to hop back onto the hedges with whatever sad little scraps of breakfast I had left and thus avoided my embarrassing face-plant.

Aurora and Ariel were only a few feet away from where I had fallen and Aurora had let out a surprised little shriek. Anxious to recover, I hopped briskly up to my feet, face red, hair wild and filled with twigs and leaves.

"What's up?!" I exclaimed, perhaps a bit too intensely.

I think there may have also been just a _little_ too much crazy in my eyes, because Aurora responded to my innocent greeting with an ear piercing scream. She quickly pushed Ariel back behind her and took a protective stance in front of her little sister.

"Get back, Ariel!" she cried, shoving her hand into her purse to rummage for something that was most definitely not another biscuit to make up for the one that had been so cruelly stolen from me.

When her hand emerged, it was clutching a glittery pink can of Mace.

My eyes widened with horror.

"Oh SHIT-"

But she pointed it at my face and started to spray. Ariel, to her credit, lunged forward to try and thwart her older sister.

"Aurora, _stop!"_

She managed to grab her arm and pull it down but alas, Aurora's finger pushed down on the nozzle and released out a small cloud of peppery mist.

Now, if you know anything about Mace or pepper spray, you know it's absolutely no fun to get sprayed with. Nowadays, the Mace brand _is _actually pepper spray, and it basically inflames your mucus membranes, causes you to cough and choke and get nauseous, even causing temporary blindness. It gets on your skin too, and burns like a bitch. Altogether, it's usually formidable enough of a pain to take down people who are murderously psychotic or strung out on drugs like PCP. Another little known fact is that it can often get on more than just the assailant if used incorrectly.

Well, fortunately for me, Ariel succeeded in preventing Aurora from shooting it directly into my face, but unfortunately for the three of us, a deadly cloud still ejected out of the can and began to rise into the air in front of us. And it was every bit as potent here in Disney World as it was in the real one.

I don't know whose screams were louder, the two Triton sisters' or mine. What I do know is that the three of us all started running around in pain, howling and clutching at our faces.

Phillip jumped out of his car and slammed the door. "What the hell is going on?"

"Oh my God, babe, I can't see!" Aurora gasped, crying. "Help!"

"You're so stupid, Aurora!" Ariel yelled.

"I tried to save you, you ungrateful little brat!" Aurora wailed as Phillip ran to her and tried to pull her out of harm's way whilst staying out of the path of the gas himself.

"That was my _friend, _you idiot!" Ariel screamed back at her. "You tried to pepper spray my friend!"

"She succeeded!" I gasped.

Thankfully, our luck wasn't _all _bad, and because none of us had quite gotten a full-on blast of the foul stuff, Phillip helped us get back inside the house and rinse off our skin. Water by itself doesn't really do much of anything against pepper spray, but hand or dish soap works, as well as shampoo. I was the only one who knew this, so I instructed the others as best I could while trying to treat myself. I hadn't ever intentionally let shampoo get in my eyes before and it hurt just as much as you would expect it might, but after fifteen minutes or so, we had all washed off the remnants of the infernal irritant, and then wiped the skin of our hands and faces with baby wipes.

Needless to say, by the time we all squeezed into Phillip's car, first period was well under way.

"Oh my God, I look terrible!" Aurora groaned, staring into her reflection in the mirror of one of the sun visors. She quickly dug around for a compact mirror and looked into that, as though it would show her something different.

All three of us had bloodshot eyes rimmed with red and flushed faces. Aurora's usual flowing perfect blonde locks were less than cover girl-worthy now, though, and her resulting reaction would have been appropriate for someone finding out they had just been diagnosed with Stage 100 Face Cancer. (I'm a little iffy on the specifics of diagnosing fatal diseases so bear with me on the analogy.)

"Babe, you look _fine,_" Phillip said unconvincingly. I had so far gathered that he was a pretty simple and unassuming fellow, quietly handsome in an unremarkable way. As he drove us to school, though, he looked a little frazzled. I couldn't really blame him.

"No I _don't, _Phillip, don't lie to me!" Aurora cried. "I look like I dowsed my face in boiling water! I look like a broiled chicken! This is completely unacceptable for a cheer captain!"

"If you ask me, I think it's an improvement!" Ariel said, rather snarkily. She too was looking much less perky than her typical self, her vibrant fire truck-red hair hanging a little more limply on her narrow shoulders than usual.

"Shut up, Ariel, this is all your fault!"

"What are you talking about? It's _your _fault! _I _didn't make you spray that stuff!"

"It's _his _fault!" Aurora snapped, turning around to look spitefully back at me. "He's the one who jumped out of the bushes like a total weirdo!"

I was crammed next to Ariel in the less-than-roomy backseat of the Mustang, trying not to get choked out by my own knees and hoping to quietly avoid any negative attention, which I knew was the only attention I was going to get after this latest screw-up.

"Hey, for the thousandth time, I'm sorry," I said. "Really. But I got attacked by a raccoon."

"_Who _gets attacked by a raccoon?" Aurora demanded, tears welling in her eyes. "I've literally _never _heard of that happening to _anyone!_"

"Apparently _I _did!" I retorted. "Maybe _you _people should have someone come and take care of that, because you've got rabid animals prowling around in your bushes trying to maul people! You're lucky I don't sue!"

"_What _were you doing in our _bushes?!"_

I didn't really have an answer for that so I played it innocent, if a tad overdramatic. "I was just taking a walk, minding my own business, when I was attacked by a giant bloodthirsty raccoon. It all happened so fast, like a furry bolt of lightning. It might have been a small bear, I don't even know. I'm just lucky I survived."

"There are no _bears _in Atlantica," Aurora snottily informed me.

"Shows what you know."

"Can we all just stop arguing," Phillip asked. "You guys are driving me crazy...you're gonna make me crash Samson."

"You named your car 'Samson?'" I asked him.

"Cool name, right?"

Debatable. But I didn't have the heart to say it. Ariel, on the other hand, had no such misgivings.

"You're so lame, Phillip!"

"Hey, do you want to walk to school?" Phillip demanded.

Ariel just crossed her arms and silently stared out the window.

"Thank you. As I was _saying, _Samson is a perfect name for a perfect vehicle. It invokes a strength and fierceness that is fitting of a Disney High Lion like myself!"

"Please stop bragging about naming inanimate objects, Phillip," said Aurora, closing her eyes wearily. "You're giving me a headache."

"I swear, I should make all of you walk."

"Hey, I think Samson is a greatname," I lied, earning a dirty look from Ariel.

When we got to the school, the four of us had to check in with Mrs. Potts at the front office and when we explained that three of us had been _pepper sprayed, _she immediately sent us all to Ms. Tweed, who was the school nurse. She was a pleasant gray-haired woman whose office was filled with pictures of foxes. While she was examining us, two men entered the office as well. The first, Jafar, looked incredibly irritated. The second, a strapping, shaggy-haired blond man with a goatee and some type of crisp security uniform, looked more amused than anything.

"What is this business I'm hearing about you all being _pepper sprayed?"_ Jafar immediately demanded, bulging eyes scanning the room for an answer.

"Hey, _I _wasn't pepper sprayed," Phillip said quickly, as though this would save him from whatever trouble the rest of us were going to get into. "I had nothing to do with any of this."

Jafar wheeled around on him. "Then _why _are you still here?"

"Good question, sir," Phillip said, jumping up from his seat and ducking out the door so that he wouldn't have to meet Aurora's accusing gaze. "Bye, guys."

Aurora watched him depart as though he were Judas selling out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.

Jafar, however, was more interested in me, of course. "Why am I not surprised to see _you_ in the middle of this, boy?"

"I was an innocent victim," I said. "We all were."

"I _warned _you about not getting into trouble!" Jafar hissed. "Second day of school, I repeat, the _second day! _And you have already succeeded in macing _both_ daughters of our school district's _superintendent! _Do you have any idea how this _looks?"_

"He didn't do it!" Ariel piped up, braver than I would have ever given her credit for. "Aurora's the one who sprayed."

"It was just an accident," Aurora said. "I was startled is all. It's just a misunderstanding, Mr. Jafar. We're okay. Well, I _think _we're okay."

Jafar glanced at Nurse Tweed. "Are they?"

"I think they're going to be fine," she responded. "Although their eyes may remain irritated for much of the day."

Jafar was still seething. "This is unbelievable. Our school is going to be the laughing stock of the district if this gets out."

"It's really not _that _big a deal," I said. "None of us are hurt, and-"

"Not that big a deal?!" Jafar screamed at me, spit flying from his mouth. "_Not that big a DEAL?! _How dare you try to undermine the scope of this to me, as if you have _any _idea what your actions may have caused!"

"I didn't do anything except accidentally get shot in the face with pepper spray!" I whined. "I didn't even do it at school!"

"This goes beyond my authority," Jafar continued. "Disciplinary code is handled by Mr. Frollo. We will have to alert him immediately. Your wanton conduct _will _have consequences at this school, boy, mark my words."

My stomach had already begun to sink at the mention of "Frollo." If there was anyone I didn't want to have the attention of, it was that guy.

"Well, actually, sir," spoke up the blond man for the first time, "since the incident occurred off campus, we really don't have any liability or involvement in it. So I don't see how we can really get off punishing any of them."

"It's not _them _I want to punish, Phoebus," snarled Jafar. "It's _him. _I've had a bad feeling ever since he arrived and I don't think it's a _coincidence _that something like this just happened to involve his miserable hide. I refuse to let the boy walk away scot-free from everything."

"That's not fair!" Ariel protested. "He didn't _do _anything, we already told you!"

"She's right, sir," said Phoebus. "It just appears to be a misunderstanding. We don't have any real authority over them off campus, and I don't think Mr. Frollo will appreciate being pulled into something that's ultimately unnecessary."

"These are the superintendent's _daughters_."

"I'm aware of that. We should really leave things up to him, if anyone. But if you're worried about this turning into a spectacle, we should just keep the whole thing quiet. The kid didn't pull the trigger. He was on the receiving end. And both girls say it was an accident, no malicious intent involved on either side. For all intents and purposes, it appears to be nothing more than just that. If you make this into a big deal, it'll be blown out of proportion and that's the last thing any of us want."

Jafar glared at us while he mulled over Phoebus' words.

"This kind of embarrassment is exactly what Disney High School takes pride in not allowing to occur."

"And we didn't allow it to occur," replied Phoebus. "It happened off campus. All we can really do is send them to class and tell them to shut their mouths. Speaking as captain of the campus police, I can assure you that we don't have much authority to do otherwise."

"I think considering the particular _female _students involved, we should at least consult Ms. Maleficent and Mr. Frollo," said Jafar.

"We don't need any special treatment," said Ariel.

"Ariel, be quiet," whispered Aurora.

"That is not for you to decide!" Jafar snapped at Ariel.

"Consult them if you want, sir," said Phoebus, "but until then, I think we shouldn't let them miss any more class than they have. If we let them out now, I think they can still make it in time for most of second period."

All Jafar could do was scowl and relent, much to my eternal relief. Before we were given passes to depart the nurse's office, however, he made sure to whisper to me so that no one else could hear, "I know you're not nearly as innocent as you're pretending to be. You were lucky today, but your luck won't last forever. I can promise you that."

I really shouldn't have said anything but he was getting on my nerves, so I asked, "How is getting pepper sprayed considered _lucky?"_

Jafar's face screwed up with utter hatred, which really made me wonder how _anybody _could think that _that_ man would ever make a good high school guidance counselor. He was about as emotionally healthy as Hitler, but without the alleged love of animals to even remotely balance him out. (Although, he did seem to be pretty attached to that ugly parrot of his.)

"Mark my words, boy. You _are _going to misstep, and when you _do, _I'll be there to make sure you pay the full price."

The way Jafar pronounced words made him sound like a snake, and his breath had a sour, unpleasant smell to it. I was only much too happy to depart from his presence. As I left, though, I caught Phoebus throwing a wink at me.

Though I appreciated his getting me out of my undeserved trouble, I still wasn't sure that I trusted him. He worked too closely with a lot of villainous types and I imagined that if my current streak of consistently mucking up my time here carried on forward, I would probably end up in campus law enforcement's bad graces before long. It was only inevitable.

Plus, he probably had a thing for Esmeralda if canon was anything to go by and I didn't like the idea of any more competition for her body than I already had from the rest of the student body. (See what I did there? I'll wait…)

Aurora, Ariel, and I began walking towards the classroom buildings, grateful to leave the administration building in our wake. I'm pretty sure all of us felt a little uneasy after listening to Jafar's imbalanced tirade. I was worried that I would soon be facing the wrath of Frollo, and the two sisters had to be thinking of how their father would react when he found out.

"Hey, so I think we'll be okay," I found myself saying, perhaps more to myself than to them. "You heard Phoebus. They can't get us in trouble for something that happened off campus."

"You don't live with my father!" Aurora said to me, blue eyes flashing. "He's going to blow a gasket when he hears about this distraction!"

"Maybe it'll give him an actual reason to worry about us for once," Ariel said.

"Shut up, Ariel," snapped Aurora. "You don't even know what you're talking about."

"Hey come on," I said. "It was just an accident. I'm sure he'll understand."

Aurora just glared at me. "You just keep your distance from me, okay? I don't get into trouble, _ever_, and I've heard how you're already making the wrong kind of waves. You might think it's cool or funny to be a rebel, but I don't want to get caught up in any of your influences."

"All I did was fall out of a bush trying to say hello!" I objected. "Then you tried to shoot me."

But she was already walking as fast as she could to put some distance between us. Ariel and I watched her go in bemusement.

"Well, I can tell that she just adores me, doesn't she?" I commented, thinking about how next to impossible it would be now to try and get into _her _chastity belt.

"She is such an uptight little princess," Ariel grumbled. "I'm glad she got knocked down a couple notches today. Shook up her perfect little world."

"Yeah, well maybe she has a point," I admitted. "I do seem to be a magnet for trouble."

"_I _don't think you're trouble," Ariel said, smiling sweetly at me.

I shook my head, not wanting to get distracted by those big innocent eyes, and said, "Okay, go on to class. You should probably avoid my company for a while. I'm sure they're all gonna be talking about me. You don't wanna get caught up in that either."

"I'm not worried about what any of them say about us," Ariel assured me.

I didn't like the way she said 'us.'

"Okay, well, still. For my sake, put a little space between us. The faculty's probably gonna be looking at me under a microscope now and they won't like seeing you around me."

"Let them think what they want!" she declared courageously. "They don't have to own us! We're our own people!"

"Okay, see, when you say _'us,' _it gives off the impression that there _is _an 'us' at all, and I'm not sure I agree with-"

"Oh, save it," Ariel continued, undeterred. "It's not like you have any other friends, right? Except for Belle. And she hardly counts because she probably just feels sorry for you. Face it. I'm pretty much all you have."

"No, you're _not,_" I said. "Now go on and get to your class. I have to go to Senior History, you know, the one that you're not in because it's for _seniors_?"

Ariel pouted. "Keep rubbing in my face that I'm younger than you."

"I'm gonna keep doing it until you realize it's true."

"I'm eighteen at heart, if not in age!"

"You and me both, apparently," I said. "Now go."

Ariel started to walk in a different direction than me but made sure to call out as she went, "You can't deny what we have, Shane! We're in this together!"

"There is no 'this!'" I yelled back at her. "And no 'together' either!" But she acted like she wasn't listening.

Frustrated, I entered Building 4 and made my way to History. I had briefly thought about skipping it altogether but decided that my profile was just a little too high. I had skated by getting in trouble for the pepper spray incident by the skin of my teeth, and I knew I still might not be out of hot water yet if Jafar had his way about it. (How many clichéd phrases were just in that one sentence just now? Three? That might be my new personal record. Log it in the Mary-Sue books, boys.)

When I entered the classroom, I could feel all the eyes on me. I noticed Tiana, Pocahontas, and stoic old Glen Kocoum at the front, as well as Jasmine and Eric bickering somewhere in the middle. Of course, the class got all quiet once I walked in. Not wanting to make guilty eye contact with anyone, I handed Professor Porter my note and went to find a seat near the back. To my surprise, I saw one open by none other than Jim Hawkins, who I hadn't even noticed was in this class yesterday.

"What's up, New Guy?" he asked me with a grin. Fortunately, he seemed not to be hung up on whatever weird mood my mentioning of Meg yesterday had left him in. "I thought you might already be trying to ditch class like a boss. Were you?"

I just shook my head.

"Then why are you coasting in halfway through the middle?" he asked. "There's no way that note you had was legit, was it?"

I sighed. "Look, man, I don't really wanna talk about it because I want to try and keep a lower profile, but there was a little accident before school that made me late."

Jim looked at my bloodshot eyes. "Your eyes are pretty red." He glanced around and lowered his voice. "You faded right now?"

"No!"

He grinned and swallowed laughter. "Because I'm totally faded right now."

I stared at him. "Seriously?"

Still snickering, he shrugged. "I dunno. You want to keep secrets, I'll keep secrets too."

"I'm not keeping secrets."

"No, no, it's cool, dude. I mean, I lent you my extra gym clothes yesterday and got you out of trouble with Rourke, but no, don't worry about it. It's all good. You don't have to tell me anything, it's not like we're _friends _or anything. No, no, you just keep it to yourself."

I groaned. "You're really doing a good job of making me look like an asshole when I'm not trying to be one."

"Mr. Barrera!" Mr. Porter said suddenly. "It's bad enough you missed the first half of class due to absence. I would appreciate it if you don't miss the second half by talking to Mr. Hawkins the entire time!"

"Sorry," I said, sinking in my seat as Jim tried not to choke on his own sniggers. He certainly _seemed _like he could be stoned if his uncontrollable laughter was any indication.

I tried to be a model student the rest of class but it was a pretty futile effort. Porter already looked annoyed with me. When the bell rang, I walked out with Jim, who I figured probably had his own negative reputation. Tiana was waiting for me over by the lockers.

"Hey, so what's the deal?" she asked me.

I sighed. "With what?"

"Hi, Tiana," said Jim with a pleasant smile.

She paid him a brief sideways glance. "I'm sorry, have we met?" She looked back at me. "Belle said she got a pretty interesting text from Ariel…"

"Ugh," I said. "Can we just _not _talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Jim asked. "_Tiana _knows and I don't? I'm offended. Did she secretly let you borrow some clothes too? Her bra or something?"

"You're disgusting," she said to him, then looked back at me again. "Well?"

"I thought you hate drama!" I said, annoyed.

"I do!" she retorted. "I'm just trying to confirm if the ridiculous story is true! I've heard a lot in my day, but this might be the most random."

"Why do you wanna know, so that you can spread it around the whole school?"

"No, so I can know to _avoid _you because you're a drama magnet!"

"If you wanna avoid me, then do it," I said. "The whole thing was just a misunderstanding and they're trying to crucify me over it."

"You guys are killing me!" said Jim, but he looked like he was very much enjoying the whole scene.

"Please, if you want to go die, be my guest, Hawkins," said Tiana. "Shane, if you don't want to tell me, that's just fine with me. But you _know _I'm not the type to spread rumors."

"It's true," Jim confirmed. "She hates drama. Everyone knows it."

"Oh, can it, Hawkins," she said. "Like YOU know anything about me."

"Hey, I'm part of 'everyone.'"

"You and YOUR crowd don't even qualify as students here. You're more like the bugs I set traps for at my restaurant. Unwelcome and too dumb not to poison yourselves to death."

"I'm sure the bugs can't resist. I bet your traps are just as delicious as the rest of your cooking."

"You _wish _you could eat any of my cooking."

Jim winked at her. "I wish I could eat any of _you_."

Tiana let out a loud noise of disgust and took a swing at him, but Jim was too quick. He jumped nimbly out of the way, giggling like a six-year old.

"Are you two finished?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm done!" Tiana proclaimed. "I've had it with your foolishness. The both of you. I know you're still new here, Shane, but _try _to find a better crowd to hang out with. Jim and Al are just gonna get you into more trouble."

I turned accusingly to Jim. "So you _do _hang out with Aladdin!"

"What, I never said I didn't."

"You never said you _did._"

He shrugged. "I tried to tell you he's not a bad guy, just misunderstood."

"I don't know who to trust around here," I said. "You got me talking about girls and then I went and talked about Meg and Esmeralda, and you got all weird. Thanks for telling me you actually _dated _one of them."

"Hey, I don't care about Esmeralda," Jim said. "I mean, she's a good friend, but go for it if you want to. Disney knows she doesn't care what _I _think."

"Nobody does," said Tiana.

"And yet _you're_ still here!" he said, drawing out a frustrated noise from her. Unperturbed, he turned back to me. "So seriously, don't worry about that. I learned long ago that she won't let little old me stop her from anything."

I shook my head. "What about Meg? You got all weird when I talked about her."

"Tell me _those_ aren't the two you're most interested in," Tiana lamented. "Those shady chickenheads stole your lunch and made you look like a total punk! Tell me you've got better taste!"

"I'm sorry, Tiana, are you jealous or something?" Jim asked her. "If you'd like to hang out with my crowd, you only have to ask. Really."

"Okay that's it," she said, turning. "I really _am _leaving now. Good luck with this one, Shane. You're gonna need it, you poor, misguided child."

We watched her walk away down the stairs.

"She really is pretty cute," Jim said. "You think she actually hates me?"

"Tiana doesn't seem like the type to mince her words," I said.

He sighed. "You get used to the hatred around here. Even though one of our core school platitudes is 'love and acceptance.' Or is that two school platitudes?"

"You never answered me about Meg," I said.

"It's a complicated story," he said. "Hey, it's break time. Why don't we step out of here and we can fill each other in on all of our little mysteries."

I did want to get a breath of fresh air, so I followed him down the stairs and out the door. But before he could start talking, I said, "Look, man, I think I need to go hide away somewhere alone. No offense, but it seems like you have a certain reputation, so if any of the teachers see me kicking it with you right now, they're probably gonna think that you're involved. I don't wanna drag you down with me."

At first, Jim looked like he wanted to argue, but then he stopped himself. "Okay, fair enough. Just a warning, though, if one person knows about it, the whole school will know about it by lunch."

"Why?" I asked, temporarily having forgotten how high school works.

Jim smiled apologetically. "That's just the way it goes around here. All the people at this school are too bored with their lives to not let every little scrap of gossip circulate around like a wildfire. If secrets were gonorrhea, we'd all be getting regular treatment for the clap by now."

"Maybe those of us involved will keep our mouths shut," I said, thinking about Ariel's bubbly personality and not really believing a word of it.

Jim laughed. "Not likely, dude. The only people who know how to keep secrets are the people with really scandalous ones. And those individuals all happen to be the ones I hang out with. So you can keep that in mind."

He started to walk off and I couldn't help but call after him, "If they're so good at keeping secrets, why are there so many rumors about them?"

Jim grinned as he walked backwards away from me. "That's exactly why! Nobody knows the truth so they make stuff up. We invented the art of keeping things on the D.L. Think about it."

Glumly, I went to go find a secluded spot to sit in and try to not be noticed. But I could see people looking at me, and the whispers already beginning to circulate, as Jim had predicted. It could have been just paranoia on my part, but I could tell by the way most of them were looking at me, that they had at least heard _something. _Or they were making stuff up at this point. Either way, it wasn't looking good. They say all publicity is good publicity, but unless all of the girls had a hankering for a bad boy (which I quickly doubted after seeing how Aurora had handled this morning's aftermath), I was going to have some serious trouble winning over some of the more conservative Disney heroines. And I could only imagine how much Aurora and Phillip were badmouthing me to their "popular" friends.

Not that I cared about being popular in a make-believe high school or anything.

The only thing I could really hope for at the moment was that Jafar hadn't mentioned anything to Frollo. Because Ethics was next. And I _really _wasn't looking forward to that.

**{So, I just want to thank everyone for the really kind reviews. I must say, I'm feeling a bit humbled by the nice words that have been written. I'm very glad to be entertaining you guys and I'm glad you seem to like both Shane and Belle as characters. Their dynamic is fun to write.**

**Concerning the question about whether Peter Pan will show up, I will say that YES! Both Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are both going to be making appearances relatively soon. There are actually more than a handful of characters we haven't met yet who are going to popping up as the story progresses. And as for the concern about Jasmine "being bitchy," I feel you, but unfortunately because it **_**is**_** a high school story, **_**some **_**of the characters have to fulfill the snotty and popular roles. So the bitchiness is somewhat inevitable. However, that being said, do not fret! Everyone will get their due (mostly) and we will see other sides of characters.**

**That's actually one of the main running themes of the whole story, whether these characters are just one-dimensional archetypes or whether any of them actually resemble nuanced, dynamic, three-dimensional people. You'll have to hop on for the ride and see if any of them do!**

**Anyway, once again, thanks for taking the time to review. I really do appreciate each one, and I try to take questions, concerns, comments, etc. into consideration as I write (because ultimately a story like this is written to entertain.) So let me know what you guys think and I will try to get working on the next chapter. We'll see how long this "consistently-updating" streak will last. (I was actually pretty good about it originally until the end of the semester made me have to focus on other things, leading into the summer.) See you soon!}**


	17. Chapter 16

**Surprise, surprise again! I'm loving the reviews, everyone, and you better dig in for this chapter because it's pretty HUGE…at least compared to the length of all the other ones. Frollo just demands that much attention, the creepy bastard. I hope he's as fun to read about as he is to write…good luck!}**

**Chapter Sixteen**

This time, I was able to find my way to Frollo's dungeon without the help of any guides. I did not want to risk being late so I hurried back to Building 4 and descended down the stairs, ending up as one of the first students to take a seat. Naturally, after the previous day's bone-chilling encounter with Frollo, I had absolutely no interest in sitting anywhere near the front, so I sat in the back row, which I would usually do anyway. Belle, Tiana, and Wendy could take their chances up front _without _me today, thank you very much.

They entered the classroom not long after I did and, of course, Belle and Wendy zoomed straight over to me, clutching their books in their hands with dramatic purpose.

"Okay, so _what _happened?" Wendy immediately asked me in her little English accent.

My facial and body reactions were that of extreme exasperation. In the midst of my theatrics, I noticed Tiana walking past us.

"What, you don't want to hear too?" I asked her bitterly.

She never broke stride. "_I _already asked you and you wouldn't tell me. So _I _don't care anymore. Over it!"

Whatever. I looked back at Belle and Wendy, less than thrilled to be put on the spot.

"Okay, Ariel probably made it sound worse than it was."

"Getting pepper sprayed is pretty bad no matter how you spin it," Belle said.

"Oh my goodness, did you _really _get pepper sprayed?" Wendy asked, gaping.

"Shh!" I snapped at them, looking around at the few other students that were seated. None of them seemed to be other 'Disney' characters but that didn't mean they didn't like to gossip too. "Keep it down! I'm not trying to have this turn into the scandal of the day."

"It's probably already too late for that," Belle said. "I think Aurora has already put it out there that you're Persona Non Grata now."

As if to confirm this disappointing news, Jasmine, Gaston, and LeFou walked in at that moment and saw me. Gaston and LeFou immediately started laughing hysterically, and Jasmine's face was filled with disgust as she went to her seat in the middle of the classroom. As though _I _had personally suicide bombed Aurora's house with a tanker filled with pepper spray, instead of getting inadvertently shot by her skinny trigger-happy finger.

"What's up, buddy?" Gaston exclaimed, shaking some kind of canister in his hand. "Heard you had some trouble today with some pepper spray." He then proceeded to spray the contents of the canister in the general vicinity of my face. For a millisecond, I thought it actually was pepper spray again and nearly fell out of my chair trying to get away from it. But it was only some foul-smelling body spray deodorant which was, though offensive to the nose, ultimately harmless.

He and LeFou burst out laughing at my reaction, while Belle, Wendy, and I coughed and tried to wave the nasty stink out of our faces. Belle was not amused.

"What's your problem, Gaston?"

He just laughed. "Who, me? I don't have a problem. But you really know how to pick 'em, Belle. Your little amigo is a real smooth operator."

He didn't wait for a response, smart enough this time not to linger by us and potentially draw the ire of Frollo once again. He and LeFou went to take their seats behind the front row, where they knew Belle and Wendy would join Tiana.

"I think it's safe to say my secret's out," I grumbled.

"Oh, it's really not that big a deal," Wendy tried to comfort me. "Everybody will forget about it tomorrow."

"They're just looking for something to amuse them to pass the time," said Belle. "You have to admit, it is a little bit funny on the surface if you really step back from the situation and examine it without bias. Ariel said you fell out of some bushes?"

"What were you doing by their house?" asked Wendy. "Do you live in Atlantica?"

I exchanged a glance with Belle and knew that she hadn't told Wendy about my homeless plight. That made me feel just a little bit better, that she was trying to protect at least that part of my aimless identity. I didn't need the whole world knowing that I didn't have a place to stay.

"Actually, we should probably go sit down, Wendy," said Belle. "Before Mr. Frollo gets in."

Wendy shuddered. "You're right." She patted my arm. "Chin up, Shane. It's not so bad. Just a funny story to laugh about later!"

"Yeah, I guess," I said.

"Are you sure you want to sit back here?" Belle asked me.

I nodded. "Definitely."

"Okay."

She and Wendy went to take their seats at the front with Tiana as most of the rest of the students began to enter and fill up the seats around us. By choosing to sit in the back, I soon became surrounded by a cluster of the expected faces.

Aladdin, Meg, Esmeralda, and a fourth guy in their group all sat in my close vicinity. I hadn't officially met him yet, but it was pretty obvious who the fourth guy was. He had greasy red hair and a sadly deformed appearance, with a large hump on his back, powerful forearms connecting to big hands, and a pale face reminiscent of a 3D Picasso painting. Quasimodo had never been a very pretty cartoon character but after seeing his unfortunate mug in person, I couldn't help but feel really sorry for the poor bastard. Even if he wasn't real.

For his part, he seemed to be very shy and quiet, not really looking at me whilst the other three of course paid me their undivided attention.

"New Guy!" Aladdin exclaimed. "Can I just say, I _love _what a fuck-up you are? I mean, macing the Triton sisters outside of their own home? I don't know if that's friggin brilliant or insanely stupid, but it's ballsy, I'll give you that. I mean, could you have picked any girls at this school with a higher profile?" His words devolved into a fit of laughter.

"What did their faces look like?" asked Esmeralda, her green eyes bright. "I mean, I don't even care, I just want to know what their faces looked like. Did they scream?"

"I hope they cried," Meg said. "That stupid stuck-up bitch Aurora, I hope you blinded her. She'd probably kill herself if she couldn't see herself in a mirror anymore."

"Okay, you guys have got it all wrong," I said. "Whatever you thought you heard is _not _what happened."

"I heard you hid behind a tree like a psycho and then popped out with a can of Mace in each hand when they walked by…" said Esmeralda, "…and let them have it."

"That's NOT what happened!"

"So what really _did _happen then, stud?" inquired Meg. "Are you gonna tell us it was all just an _accident?"_

"It _was _an accident," I said, glaring at her.

Meg and Esmeralda both exchanged a knowing glance. It was clear neither of them believed me. Aladdin, on the other hand, wasn't going to let me off the hook that easily.

"All right then, man. Come clean. What's the truth, as according to you?"

"It's not really that great of a story," I said. "They didn't see me walking out from around their bushes and Aurora got startled because she doesn't know me."

"And what, you maced her because she screamed?"

"NO. _I_ didn't mace _anyone_. SHE pepper sprayed ME."

"Whaaaaat?" Aladdin asked in disbelief, laughing a little. "Perfect little Aurora tried to pepper spray _you?_ I don't believe that."

"She didn't get me full-on," I said, "because Ariel knows me. She stopped her, but a little bit of it got out in the air and we had to go wash our faces."

"How does _Ariel _know you?" asked Meg. "Are you already prowling on the freshmen?"

Just to taunt me, Esmeralda shook her head disapprovingly, as though she were some kind of patron saint herself, which was obviously a laugh.

"She was the first person I met on campus," I said. "I'm not prowling on anyone."

"She's actually not so bad," Esmeralda said to Meg. "She hangs out with Mowgli and Cindy's little sister. She's not like Aurora."

"Well nobody's as bad as Aurora," commented Meg. "Except for Jasmine."

"Jasmine can _get_ it though…" Aladdin said, licking his lips and looking over at where Jasmine was sitting and texting on her phone. "_Damn_! Look at that!"

Meg looked deeply annoyed. "Oh, _fuck _you, Al."

"What?" he asked. "I can look, can't I?"

Meg just made a disgusted noise.

"What? You don't have to worry; it's not like she'd ever talk to me…"

"No, you know what, FUCK you, Aladdin."

"Seriously, it's _not _that big a deal. It was just a joke, chill out."

"Go suck a dick!"

Aladdin groaned and slumped back in his chair, looking up at the shadowy ceiling. "I'm in trouble again, aren't I? I can already tell. You're gonna be mad about this all week, aren't you? Just from one stupid comment."

"Maybe if you didn't _constantly_ make stupid comments like that," Meg snapped, "I wouldn't have a reason to stay mad."

"Meg. Come on."

"A dick. Go choke on one."

"It was a joke!"

"Choke on it."

"Whatever," Aladdin said. "I'm not even gonna apologize anymore. I'm not sorry. YOU'RE just a spiteful, insecure bitch with no sense of humor."

Meg's lip curled in disgust. "Keep digging yourself deeper, genius. This is great."

"Get off your period, Meg!"

Thankfully, Esmeralda finally spoke up. "Will the two of you just _shut up _already? Break up and be done with it, for the rest of our sakes."

"Maybe we should!" Meg said.

"_I _don't care," said Aladdin, crossing his arms.

"Good!" said Meg, crossing her arms as well. "Neither do I! Go die alone, loser!"

Aladdin just rolled his eyes. I looked at Esmeralda. Judging from the exasperated demeanor she and Quasimodo were sharing, it was obvious that Al and Meg were constantly bickering and breaking up. I had met couples like them before and they always had the loudest fights as well as the most disgusting public displays of affection. It was an interesting dynamic, but I wasn't really in the mood to laugh at it.

It wasn't long before a tall, thin figure entered from behind us, his shadow passing over us like a bad omen. It almost looked like Frollo was floating as he walked past, his posture and gait erect and even. In his spidery thin hands, he was clutching a small satin bag.

"Nice purse, huh?" Aladdin whispered either to me or Quasimodo, I couldn't tell.

Quasimodo, though, whispered, "_Shhh!" _very urgently.

It was hard to be sure, but I thought I saw the smallest tic in Frollo's eye, and the slightest turn of his head. Had he heard Aladdin's dumb comment? I really, really hoped not but then again, if Aladdin became the focus of Frollo's fury, I might be able to avoid it altogether. Then again-_again_, it figured that old Al had to be sitting next to _me _when he made his smart-aleck remark, so there was always the high chance that Frollo would just group us together when looking for victims to murder, or give detention to, or whatever the heck he actually did to punish students here.

But if Frollo was angry, he had a peculiar way of showing it. He went up to the front of the class and actually had a bit of a _smile _on his face, the creepy bastard. His lips curled in that unsettling way of his, making his teeth appear large and jagged, and the creases in his face even more sunken and pronounced.

I'm reasonably sure everybody in the class felt the same chill go down their spine that I did.

"Good day, class," he said. "How are you all doing on this fine morning? Truly, it is a glorious day. We have much to be grateful for. The sun is shining down on our lovely institution and everyone appears to be in good health. How wonderful indeed."

Did his eyes linger on me when he said those last parts?

I could feel my heart starting to beat just a tic faster.

Everyone, meanwhile, was looking at each other, not really sure if he was serious or not. I mean, come on, this was _Frollo_, right? Frollo didn't ever smile or ask anyone how they felt, much less comment on what a nice day it was outside.

It was like if Hello Kitty had attempted to write a Frollo fan-fic and just failed miserably at keeping him in character. But I sensed that there was a storm quietly brewing, and that was bad for every one of us who was trapped in this classroom for the next forty-five minutes or so.

"I suspect you're all doing well?" he continued. "Miss Delacroix, how are you today?"

That was Belle. She appeared to be caught off guard.

"I'm, uh, I'm doing well, Mr. Frollo," she said. "Thank you."

"Excellent," he said in the creepiest way I've ever heard that word pronounced. "And how about you, Mr. Gaston? Are you feeling like a leader of men today?"

Gaston blinked. "I…yes?"

"Wonderful!" exclaimed Frollo. "This is truly wonderful news. You may be wondering, Class, why I appear to be in such high spirits."

Again, we all looked at each other, nobody brave enough to vocally acknowledge that that was _exactly _what we were wondering. (I was also wondering if he was the kind of man who wore boxers or briefs. Don't ask me why, it just popped into my head for some reason. What kind of underwear does pure evil prefer? I rather hoped I would never find out.)

"Well," said Frollo, "I am eager to begin class today because Third Period gets a very special treat!"

There was NO way that was a good thing. Not with that sadistic prick in charge.

Frollo reached into his satin bag and took his sweet-ass time pulling something out. Gently, he set aside the empty bag and then placed a thin black canister on his desk for us to all see.

Uh oh.

"This," he said, "right here…is an aerosol canister of Oleoresin Capsicum. Now, can anyone tell me what exactly that is?"

Everybody sat there silently for a moment. I had a pretty strong suspicion of what was in that little can of death, but I sure as hell wasn't going to say anything.

Wendy timidly raised her hand.

'Damn you, Wendy.'

"I believe that is the chemical name for pepper spray?"

'Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck.'

Frollo's lips curled into a cruel smile. "_Very _good, Miss Darling. You are exactly correct. Oleoresin Capsicum is a lachrymatory agent commonly used by police as a mechanism for crowd control, riot control, and as a means to non-lethally incapacitate resisting suspects, commonly known as _pepper spray. _Can anyone tell me what 'lachrymatory' refers to?"

Nobody said anything.

"'_Lachrymatory' _comes from the Latin word _'lacrima,' _meaning 'tear.' Essentially, it is tear gas, a chemical compound that attacks the corneal nerves in the eyes as well as their mucus membranes, but also the mucus membranes in the nose, mouth, and lungs. Now lachrymatory agents have some very, very interesting effects on their victims. Some of the many effects include irritation on the skin and in the eyes, crying, coughing, sneezing, choking, nausea, vomiting, and even _blindness! _Now isn't that just _fascinating?"_

His eyes were definitely lingering over me now. There was no doubt about it.

"Another interesting little tidbit about tear gases in particular is that there are treaties between various countries not to use them in warfare. Bullets are acceptable, and bladed weapons as well. Tanks and missiles and rockets? Oh, they are just _dandy_. But for some reason _tear gas_ of all things has been formally agreed upon to not be used. It is considered _inhumane. _And yet, in our own country, and in many others, law enforcement agencies use a form of it. Granted, when compared to some of the more toxic chemical sprays utilized in the First World War, it is a much milder strain, but the point remains that you are more likely to get sprayed with tear gas in the form of mace or pepper spray by a common police officer on the street than by an enemy soldier in war."

A big part of my brain was telling me to get up and run out of that classroom as fast as I could, consequences be damned. But a bigger, more cowardly part was keeping me rooted to my seat, saying that running off would be signing my death warrant.

"Does anyone know what the active ingredient is in pepper spray?"

Silence.

"No one? No one at all?"

Gaston got brave.

"Pepper?"

Frollo's face looked actually offended by his stupidity. "_No_, you nitwit. The answer is '_capsaicin.' _Does anyone know what _capsaicin _is derived from?"

Nobody had the answer for that either.

"It is really pitiful how little any of you actually know about anything beyond the technique of sending vapid little text messages to each other day in and day out," Frollo sneered at us. "Capsaicin comes from Capsicum fruits. Capsicum fruits include chilies and various kinds of peppers. _Peppers, _emphasis on the plural, as in _not _the common seasoning, Mr. Gaston, but the seeded fruit. As in bell peppers, red peppers, green peppers, hence the name _pepper _spray. I assume you've all heard of peppers before."

Some unenthusiastic nodding.

"Mr. Barrera!" Frollo exclaimed suddenly. "You are of Hispanic extract, as we established yesterday, correct?"

Oh God. Why me. (But deep down, I knew why.)

"Uh…yes sir."

"Speak up, Mr. Barrera, I can't hear you."

"Yes sir, I am Hispanic. Part, at least."

"Of course you are. Chiles and peppers are common ingredients in Latin American dishes, particularly in Mexico. Are you Mexican, Mr. Barrera?"

"Part."

"So that's a yes."

"Yes." I swallowed. "Sir."

"Excellent!" Frollo said, grinning horrifically. "Then you must have already established a taste for chilies and peppers! Do you enjoy spicy foods?"

"Not particularly, sir."

Frollo's eyes narrowed slightly. "Oh no? Well that's a shame, Mr. Barrera, it's in your blood. That spicy Latin blood of yours, as they say. Perhaps you're more accustomed to it than you realize."

I was dreading where he was going with this. But what could I do? The classroom had gotten so quiet you could hear a pin drop. All I could hear, though, other than Frollo's cruel baritone was the sound of my spicy Latin blood pumping in my ears. I wondered if he could somehow hear it too.

"Now what I have here on my desk," Frollo said, addressing the rest of the class, "is a particularly _potent _brand of pepper spray, custom mixed by our very own chemistry professor Ms. Yzma. The kind of spray commonly used by law enforcement is estimated to successfully immobilize up to 90 percent of assailants and criminals. _This _particular brand, however, is reported to be successful up to _98 _percent of its targets. That is a significant upgrade…near perfection, actually."

"I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Frollo, but…why are you showing us this? Like, what does _any_ of this have to do with _Ethics?"_

The question had come from Jasmine.

Frollo's eyes slowly drifted over to look at her but, to her credit, she maintained eye contact. I have to give her props for that. (I sure as hell couldn't have done it.)

"Miss Ghali, I don't believe that I have had the privilege of hearing your voice before just now," Frollo said in a toneless voice. "It is a bit curious to me that you have not even attempted to answer any questions either yesterday or today, but you are apparently more than willing to _ask_ them."

Jasmine stared at him for a few moments before saying, "Well, is there an answer?"

Frollo smirked. "Of course there is, Miss Ghali, and I'm actually glad that you asked." He looked at the rest of us and continued, "The reason I am giving this lecture is precisely _because _of ethics. As I previously stated, the police often use such lachrymatory agents to incapacitate criminals. But if we look at the very essence of criminality, there is a fascinating relationship between action and consequence. Between foresight and judgment. Between learned history and future deterrence. There are many stories of unscrupulous characters who will remorselessly commit a crime, and then not bat an eye when staring down the barrel of a police officer's gun. We would think of such people as fearless, even a bit crazy, correct? And yet at the same time, those same assumed 'fearless' individuals who won't bat an eye at the gun might quiver and shake, and even immediately surrender at the sight of a Taser or mace. Why? Because even though the _gun _has far more lethal capacity, people who have felt the pain of an electric shock from a Taser or the agonizing suffocation brought by pepper spray are desperate to not undergo those experiences again. They have no concept of fear for the gun, which can kill them, but if they've been hurt by the lesser, supposedly non-lethal tool, they inexplicably fear it more. This fascinating, seemingly counterintuitive phenomenon can be found in multiple examples of human behavior." He paused briefly. "I take it that your generation enjoys attending the cinema to view films for entertainment purposes, correct?"

Various mumbles of affirmation.

"I thought so," said Frollo in a bored voice, as though the idea of spending a couple hours catching a flick was completely alien to him. "Mr. LeFou, pray tell me, what is your favorite film?"

LeFou looked a bit flabbergasted to be called upon. I figured that most teachers, much like the rest of us, probably liked to pretend that he didn't exist.

"I, uh, don't know," he sputtered. "I like Adam Sandler movies."

Ugh. Of course he did. And of course _Adam Sandler _of all people existed here, for some godforsaken reason. That was reason enough for me to believe that Walt Disney, not God, was behind this whole upside down purgatory of a world, as if I needed any more proof.

"Do you enjoy action films?"

"Uh, yeah, definitely."

"Unfortunately, since the great Disney's passing, our culture has become increasingly liberal. You can see it in what they're allowing to be shown in movies nowadays. It's not uncommon to watch somebody get gunned down onscreen in an action film, or even suffer something as grisly as a beheading, for example. But curiously, oftentimes when people watch a simulated death occur, even in some cases when it's quite gory, their reaction is less than you might expect. Watch a man's head explode from a sniper shot in a war film, and see how the audience barely reacts. Then show the very same people somebody getting a paper cut, or kicked in the groin, and suddenly everyone winces. Can anybody tell me why this is? Certainly, a paper cut is not more painful than getting disemboweled by a chainsaw. Why then does watching somebody slam their fingers in a car door get a stronger visceral reaction from people than watching somebody get shot multiple times by an assault rifle?"

Jasmine actually raised her hand.

Frollo smiled. "Miss Ghali?"

"Because we can relate to something like a paper cut. We know what it feels like to get a paper cut, or slam our fingers in a door. But most of us haven't been shot, or beheaded or whatever…"

Frollo almost chuckled. "Or 'whatever' indeed. Well, Miss Ghali, despite your lack of eloquence, you are in this case completely correct. People learn an instinctive behavior from experiencing pain. You can tell a small child all you want not to touch a hot oven, but oftentimes, it is not until they actually _do _touch it, and then burn their little fingers, that they truly learn that they shouldn't. And then most of them never do it again."

We sat there in silence, still not sure where exactly he was going with this. What was it leading up to? What was the climax to this seemingly random lecture?

"Now, tying it all together to this Ethics course and why I brought in this canister," said Frollo, "let us take that example of the small child and the hot stove, or the criminal and the Taser. In most cases, after the child burns his fingers, he learns not to touch it again. After you have been shocked once by a Taser, you will do everything you can not to get shocked again. But, as in everything to do with the imperfect creatures that are human beings, there are exceptions to this rule. Every once in a while, there is a child who, despite the pain and suffering caused by his foolish actions, does _not _learn his lesson. He touches the stove again. Or he sticks a fork in the electrical socket. Now, in the larger scheme of things, these individuals who are incapable of learning from their mistakes and reforming are poisonous to a society. They are irredeemable non-contributors who must be eradicated lest they break down the statutes that have been set up to support the cultural infrastructure. This is an unfortunate but imperative truth."

I was beginning to feel very nervous again.

"So it is thusly of _paramount _importance to determine," Frollo continued, his face darkening into a sinister grin, "whether particular individuals who are prone to making destructive decisions can be trained or taught to _not _make those decisions, lest they be faced with a painful punishment. For most highly-functioning human beings, it is thought that we don't need to literally _feel _the pain itself to deter us from breaking the law. The mere thought of the pain, the idea of the consequences, should be enough in theory to deter most people. Now, I personally believe that _everyone _is better served getting at least a taste of that pain to always look back upon and remember as they advance through life, but that unfortunately is not a popular belief. However, there are still those for whom the mere _thought _of pain or punishment is not enough a deterrent. There are still those for whom the literal physical _memory _of pain or punishment, even, is still not a deterrent. There are those who have touched the stove, who have been shocked by the Taser, who have choked on the pepper spray, who still cannot be dissuaded from nihilistically pursuing their unholy interests no matter the consequence. And when the Taser or the mace are not enough to spur fearful submission, then that is when you must use the gun. A final solution. _The _final solution, if you will."

A thick sense of dread had descended down over us all. You would think that we were prisoners of war being addressed by a malevolent warden before we got sent to the gas chambers, or rounded up and shot by a firing squad.

However, Frollo wasn't planning on executing any of us today. _Most _of the class had nothing to fear, at least for the moment. His targets were much more specific.

"So today really is a _fun _day for us all, Class," said Frollo. "Why, you ask? Well, because we are going to get to witness a demonstration! Doesn't that sound exciting?"

I was trembling as I tried to will myself into invisibility, but alas, I had no such magical abilities. I could see the other students exchanging nervous glances. Even the little rebellious crowd sitting near me looked anxious. Quasimodo in particular looked even whiter than he had ten minutes ago, which I hadn't been sure was possible.

"Mr. Barrera!" Frollo exclaimed, completely unsurprisingly. "Will you stand up, please?"

Immediately, there were sharp intakes of breath and even a few whispered words of profanity, surprisingly none of which had come from me. I was completely silent.

Despite Frollo's faux demeanor of pleasantness, I knew that this was no polite request. The only thing that gave me enough degree of courage to stand was that I was all the way in the back of the classroom, and Frollo was all the way in front. He couldn't really do anything to me from where he stood without affecting all the people in front of me.

All eyes turned on me as I shakily stood up, trying to look and feel brave, but knowing that neither was true of me.

"Do you consider yourself to be a strong young man?" Frollo asked me.

"Uh, I don't know…"

"Oh, this is no time for false humility, Mr. Barrera. It's a simple enough question. Do you consider yourself to possess a strong degree of fortitude? Can you withstand very much?"

I swallowed. "I guess it depends…"

Frollo smiled. "On what?"

"On what I have to be strong against."

"I see the hoped sentiment behind your weak excuse of an answer, but I find it to be rather bland, I'm afraid. You seem to not be very _confident _in yourself, which is very strange indeed, considering the stories I have heard of your spirited conduct on and off campus the last two days. It really is a shame, to not be confident in oneself and one's abilities. Fortunately for _you_, however, Mr. Barrera, you are going to get the chance to find out just exactly how strong you really are!"

This was very, very, VERY bad.

"Will you come up to the front, Mr. Barrera?"

Everyone stared at me to see what I would do. I could see the anxiousness in Belle's and Wendy's and Tiana's eyes. Even Gaston and LeFou looked somewhat uneasy. Though I'm sure they had no concern for my physical well-being, Frollo had that kind of effect on people. You could never really relax, because you never knew whether _you _would become his next target.

And unfortunately for me, I happened to have fallen into being exactly that.

"Do I…have to?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Why yes you do," said Frollo. "Remember the waiver that you signed this morning?"

I had no idea what he was talking about.

"No…"

"Well I have it right here in front of me. When you signed in after arriving late to campus today, you signed that waiver, remember? The one where you volunteered to be an example for our class demonstration today?"

Now I knew that the slimy bastard was lying. I hadn't signed anything, except for the same sign-in sheet at Mrs. Potts' front desk that Ariel, Aurora, and Phillip had signed as well. There were already plenty of names on it, not just ours.

But I knew that I had no leg to stand on here in this world. I didn't have any parents to get outraged for me if I was abused or mistreated. I didn't have any money for a lawyer, however the legal system might work out here. I didn't even have a real _identity. _I had no flippin' idea what information Jafar's file of me held. I couldn't answer my own birthdate, former address, schools, towns, or social security number.

In short, I basically lacked any rights whatsoever.

And Jafar probably _knew _that, the son of a bitch. Somehow, he knew that I didn't come from any solid kind of support system to worry about coming after the school if they did anything to me. I wondered how long it had taken him and Frollo to come up with a plan to humiliate and/or maim me as an example for everyone else.

Probably not long, knowing them.

I decided to try and hold onto whatever shred of dignity I could find, most of them having escaped the moment I had even entertained the thought of coming to this stupid fucking world for whatever idiotic experiment the Cat and his Handler(s?) wanted to conduct.

"I can't say that I do remember signing anything, sir," I said, trying to maintain eye contact with the soulless monster, "but if _you _say that I did, I must have. I mean, you're the professor of Ethics, so you would never _lie. _Because that would make you a hypocrite! That would make you _unethical! _And that just can't be true."

There was shocked, hushed reaction from the other students at my boldness. But I could see a muted smile appearing on the faces of Aladdin, Meg, and Esmeralda.

Frollo's eyes were furious little slits of rage. I could tell that I had struck a nerve, which was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying.

"Come up to the front of the class."

I got out from behind my desk and slowly made the trek, feeling like I was on Death Row being led to the electric chair. Most of the girls looked to be near tears, especially the ones who had the misfortune of considering me to be a friend.

It felt like forever. When I got to the front of the classroom, I stood there and faced Frollo with my shoulders held high as I could. I knew my face was ashen, and my heart was pounding, but I didn't want to let him see that.

He was taller than me, but incredibly thin, and of course much older. I had no doubt I could easily take him in a fist fight. But part of growing up had taught me that the older you got, the less often things were resolved so simply. Life was crueler than that.

Frollo grinned at me. "Now, Mr. Barrera, you are going to be part of our little class experiment. Let us all pretend that you have committed an egregious crime, though I am _sure _such a responsible, honest young man such as yourself would _never _do such a thing."

His hands went to the canister and just about everybody reacted with a jolt. I think I even heard Wendy let out a frightened little scream.

Frollo picked up the canister, but he didn't point it at me. Instead he held it lightly in his hands, running his thin fingers casually over it as he continued to look at me, taking pleasure in trying to make me sweat.

"Is it true, Mr. Barrera, that you have had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of a pepper spray blast?"

I swallowed hard. "Yeah."

"How would you describe the experience?"

"It sucked."

"Such an extensive answer! I don't think I have ever heard it described quite so profoundly before, and in such exhaustive detail!"

I just glared at him, having accepted my likely fate.

Frollo reached into the satin bag again and pulled out a clip of cash before holding it out to the class to see.

"Here in my hands I have the bountiful sum of two-hundred dollars."

Jasmine made a disgusted noise.

Frollo's eyes flashed in her direction. "I'm sure this is mere pocket change to you, Miss Ghali, but I imagine that for most of the rest of us, this would be very useful money to possess. Who here couldn't find a use for some extra currency?"

Nobody responded.

"As I thought," said Frollo. "Now, as I was saying, let us imagine that there is a meek old woman, an innocent civilian lost in a dark alley, perhaps somewhere in the seedier part of town." He glanced over at the back of the class. "I believe some of you are more familiar with it than others."

Aladdin, Meg, and Esmeralda all stared back at him with the utmost hatred, which Frollo seemed to revel in.

"Now let us also imagine that Mr. Barrera here is a desperate, immoral criminal who sees our helpless, vulnerable old woman standing all alone. A very drastic departure from his actual character, I know, but join me in this silly fantasy. In Mr. Barrera's fictional past, he has committed various petty crimes before, and perhaps some larger ones. He has robbed _plenty _of little old ladies before. And at some point during his shameful criminal endeavors, let us say that Mr. Barrera has had direct contact with Oleoresin Capsicum. So he knows _exactly_ what it feels like."

That part was definitely true at least.

"Now, our question will be this. Is the promise of a familiar pain enough to stop our criminal? Is the _pain _itself enough to stop him? It is a given that Mr. Barrera has no moral compass to rely upon. Unfortunately he did not pay enough attention in his Ethics class before he dropped out of school. So, when he sees this little innocent old lady, he is not worried about the moral qualms of stealing from her. But let us take our fantasy a smidgen further. Let us imagine this is a stronger society, one with a much more decisive and condemning judicial system. For a case like Mr. Barrera, maybe he has never done anything quite so bad enough that he is locked away forever in prison, but he does have enough of a record that they have outfitted him with a special mechanism to dissuade him from committing further felonies and misdemeanors. Think of a shock collar that some dogs are outfitted with, so that they don't run away from their yards. You have seen this before, yes?"

A few people nodded slightly.

"In this wonderful world we have created, these collars for criminals are sophisticated little devices which can emit a shock through the bodies of the subjects when they try to commit a crime. Or, they emit a spray of tear gas. The latter is the type of collar we will imagine Mr. Barrera has been outfitted with."

"I think I would try to take it off," I said lamely.

"If you attempt to remove it, you will be blasted with the lachrymatory agent and carted off right back to prison. You see, these collars are not only deterrents against crime, but they are _also _quick visual indicators of what type of person the subjects are. Wouldn't _that _be useful for the rest of us, to see and immediately know without a shadow of a doubt, whether certain individuals have undesirable backgrounds and identities?"

"Sounds to me like when the Nazis made the Jews wear a Star of David on all their clothing," Esmeralda said in a disgusted voice.

Frollo's grin was immense. "An interesting analogy from Miss Guybertaut! But unless I am mistaken, you seem to be casting our useful little collars in a negative light?"

"That's the only light I can see them in," Esmeralda responded.

"Perhaps certain types of people would not support such a helpful little device," Frollo said, "but I think as a whole, society would come to appreciate them."

"Maybe a fascist one."

Frollo's voice went dangerously low. "That is enough, Miss Guybertaut."

Esmeralda continued to glare at him but she shut her mouth. I was secretly grateful that she had said something, though I knew it wouldn't dissuade Frollo from whatever he was planning to do.

"Now that we know the background, let us paint the scene," announced the emaciated madman. "We are in a dark alley. On one end of the alley is the little old woman, lost, alone, vulnerable. In her possession, she has two hundred dollars in her purse." He held up the satin bag and placed the money back into it. "On the other end of the alley, Mr. Barrera knows that she has money, and that she is an easy, feeble target. But he has this collar that will blast him with pepper spray if he attempts to rob her."

"So I choose not to rob her," I said. "There, experiment over. Lesson learned."

"I'm afraid it will not be quite as easy as that," said Frollo with a chuckle. "Why, you underestimate the depths of your own depravity, my boy! You are going to attempt to commit this robbery. That is what you already signed up for, and that is exactly what is going to happen."

"And if I don't do anything?" I asked.

"Let me make something clear," said Frollo, "since you seem to be having trouble understanding. You are going to be sprayed. This part is not up for debate. However, to ensure that you have ample motivation to continue, there will be a reward involved."

My heart sank and I could no longer feel my legs underneath me. Of course I had known from the moment that Frollo had called me up to the front of the class that there was little chance I was not going to get pepper sprayed, but it's hard to silence that illogically hopeful little voice, isn't it? There's always that tiny part of us that hopes we're going to be delivered from our dooms, right up to the end.

Still, at least I knew now for sure, and I could try to brace myself for the coming pain. That was easier said than done, obviously.

"The reward," continued Frollo, "is that _if _you manage to succeed in taking the 'bag' from the little old lady, you may keep the money inside. What's more is that, afterwards, if you have succeeded at robbing her, and you are able to walk out of this classroom with _your own power_, without any help, then nobody in this class will be tested on the syllabus at the end of the week, and you personally will be assigned absolutely _no _homework from me whatsoever in this class from now until the last day of school, outside of studying for exams, of course. Now how does that sound?"

My mind was racing as everybody began to whisper. I knew I could desperately use the money and, though I didn't really give a flying fuck about my grade in this class, it would be nice not to have any homework I had to do. Also, if I succeeded, I might gain respect from some of my fellow students, and in some sick, twisted way, even maybe from Frollo as well.

Then again, knowing Frollo, the chances of me having any hope of succeeding were astronomically very low.

"So what do you say, Mr. Barrera?" asked Frollo.

"I don't really see much choice," I said, my throat dry as the desert Simba had almost died in before being rescued by Timon and Pumbaa. Unfortunately, the wisecracking meerkat and his jolly warthog pal were nowhere to be found.

"Well you're right about that much. After all, that's what you signed up for!" Frollo smiled and then raised his voice. "We will need two more volunteers!"

Everybody of course reacted with the expected fright and tremors.

Frollo rolled his eyes. "Not to get sprayed, you spineless mongrels. I need someone to act as the little old lady with the bag."

Nobody raised their hand.

"Miss Ghali, how about you?" Frollo asked. "You won't lose any sleep over two hundred dollars being stolen from you."

Jasmine's voice was resolute. "I REFUSE."

"Oh do you now?"

"And don't try to intimidate me into saying that I've signed some kind of volunteer waiver," said Jasmine, "because I _haven't. _And if you have a problem with that, you can take it up with my father and our lawyers."

Frollo smiled mirthlessly. "Of course that will not be necessary, Miss Ghali. We only want willing volunteers, naturally. Do I have anyone else? How about you, Miss Guybertaut? You were very outspoken just now."

"No," Esmeralda said firmly. "I won't be part of this."

"Perhaps I should cast the other role first," Frollo said, looking a little frustrated. Good. If he expected everyone to jump onboard for this degrading experiment, I was glad that he was disappointed. "Who would like to play the role of the spray collar?"

Everyone stared.

"By that, I mean who would like to be spraying Mr. Barrera with this canister?"

A few jaws dropped.

"Mr. Gaston, how about you?"

Gaston blinked rapidly. "Me?"

"You said you were feeling like a leader of men, did you not?"

"Uh…yeah. Yes."

"So how would you like this opportunity? I'm sure Mr. Barrera would appreciate you being so gracious as to volunteer to assist him in this very important experiment he so passionately believes in."

Gaston's eyes traveled over to me and then a smile slowly appeared on his chiseled face. Pressing his hands down on his desk, muscles flexing, he pushed himself up to his feet.

"I would be glad to assist Mr. Barrera in that way, sir."

"Wonderful!" said Frollo. "I'm glad to see the two of you are mending your fences after yesterday's uncouth behavior."

Gaston strode up to the classroom and stood next to me, grinning.

"As a reward for your initiative," Frollo said, "if Mr. Barrera fails to steal the purse, _you _shall receive the money instead, Mr. Gaston."

Gaston's dastardly smile grew wider. "Sweet! I'd like to see him get past me!"

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mr. Gaston, but remember that you are imitating an inanimate object. You are merely a collar. You have no hands or muscles, so you cannot physically restrain him through your own power. You can only spray him with the gas."

Gaston looked a little disappointed but when he glanced at the canister and realized how much pain it would cause me, he brightened right back up.

"Now that we have one of our supporting roles cast, do we have a volunteer for the other?" Frollo asked.

Nobody said anything.

Now he looked pissed. "If nobody volunteers, there will be a pop quiz tomorrow on the properties of the Capsicum genus that I assure you all you don't want to take."

"I'll do it," said Belle suddenly.

At first, I was surprised. But when I met her eyes, I realized that she wasn't volunteering because she was afraid to take a stupid quiz. She was doing it so that I would have somebody up there with me that supported me. She didn't want me to be alone with Frollo and Gaston up there as everybody watched me suffer.

It's kind of hard for me to describe just how grateful I felt at that moment, so I won't even try. But if you've ever been in such a hopeless, lonely position, you might be able to relate what she was trying to save me from.

'Thank you,' I mouthed.

Her nod was almost indistinguishable but I could see the sympathy in her eyes.

"A thank you from us both, Miss Delacroix," said Frollo. "Please come stand next to me."

She got up and did so.

"Let's get in place now," Frollo said, looking positively ecstatic. "Miss Delacroix, stand right here with the bag." He walked over to Gaston and handed him the canister from the desk. "Now, Mr. Gaston, here is the canister and it is imperative that you handle it correctly. Give yourself a wide berth between you and Mr. Barrera. The aerosol travels quite far, so don't worry about having to be up too close. Ten feet will be sufficient."

Gaston got into position, looking almost as eager as Frollo did.

"Make sure you hold it straight out," Frollo instructed, "and press down on the nozzle here. It will shoot out in a jet at first, but the mist will expand into a cloud of gas that will mostly envelop Mr. Barrera. Now, I must warn you against getting overzealous with the spray. We _are _indoors, remember, so a little bit will go a long way. Hold it down for no longer than second at the most. Any more and we all may suffer nearly as much as Mr. Barrera will. Of course, nothing is quite like getting blasted full on with this specific brand, but it is still something we would all like to avoid. Fortunately, the set-up of my room is large and spacious enough that we can remain unaffected if we stay far enough away."

Frollo gestured at everyone else. "Let us scoot the desks far enough back that nobody else will be vulnerable, and then everyone can stand up so that they can get a good view. We wouldn't like for anyone to miss the demonstration or else we may have to repeat it another day!" He shot a devilish grin in my direction.

Everybody did as Frollo instructed and then gathered around to watch, but far enough away that they weren't in any immediate danger of suffering my same looming agony.

Frollo walked slowly over to stand between Gaston and Belle and he clasped his hands together as he faced me. We stared at each other, man and boy, instructor and student, villain and hapless Mary-Sue. His eyes burned with a low, evil intensity and at that moment, there was nothing about him that seemed fake or manufactured. He was living, breathing, and right there in front of me, and the pain that I was about to feel was going to be real too.

I was seriously regretting meeting that stupid Cat.

But it was too late to do anything about it now.

"Now, Mr. Barrera, let us see just how much fortitude you actually possess. You've felt a similar spray before so you have a _small _idea of what to expect, though I assure you that whatever you previously experienced was nowhere near as potent as what you are shortly about to. Do you have any final questions or comments?"

Everybody waited for me to speak.

"Well," I said slowly, "when I get the two-hundred dollars, remind me to buy you a sandwich, sir, because you look a little malnourished. And don't worry, I'll make sure to hold the salt and put plenty of _pepper_ on it for you, since you seem to be so fond of the stuff."

Frollo's lips curled up into something that was much more of a sneer than a smile as everyone reacted as subtly as they could to my seemingly suicidal quip.

But hey, what's the point of being a sorry excuse for a Mary-Sue if you can't attempt a few one-liners in the face of certain annihilation, right?

"A surprisingly devil-may-care attitude from our guinea pig," said Frollo. "But I am afraid attitude alone will not serve you much in here."

I exchanged a final glance with Belle on the other end of the room. She could hardly maintain eye contact with me. For some weird reason, I almost felt a little sorrier for her than I did for myself.

Frollo's ominous voice quickly brought me back to reality…or, whatever half reality I had to remind myself that this realm was.

"Mr. Gaston, get the canister ready. It is time to face the music…

Let us see how Mr. Barrera sings."

**{Shit just got real! Our poor, poor miserable protagonist has no idea what he's gotten himself into, but unfortunately for him, pepper spray will be the LEAST of his worries before the end of this story. But let me stop before I give too much away ;)**

**Thanks again for all the awesome reviews, guys. Knowing that there are people who are reading my story so voraciously and waiting for each update gives me extra motivation to write the chapters, especially as the audience grows. (It helps that I've had some time at work and in my free time to hanker down and whip these babies out, like this super long one.)**

**I know the description **_**SAYS**_** this is a parody of the 'gratuitously erotic,' so I know you're all waiting for the bonings to commence (and they will! I promise!), but remember, part of the humor here is that it's different than all the other stories where our favorite characters basically just walk up to each other and start going at it with little motivation or reason. Shane has to work for it (like most of us do in real life haha), and **_**really**_** now, who gets laid the first or second day of starting at a new high school? Maybe the first **_**weekend**_**, but even that's a stretch. This isn't college! Haha, no but I do assure you guys that it's coming…but the plot has to believably lead to it. Believe it or not, there is a much bigger story arc I have worked into this thing than might appear from looking at the premise alone, and we'll be speeding up the time passed **_**eventually**_**. (We won't be detailing each and every period every single school day…we won't even be having to read through each and every day soon.) And the conquest-list is just the MacGuffin plot device to get the ball rolling here (and to satirize all the bajillion sex stories on this site about innocent characters from children's movies haha.) So never fear! The secks IS coming, and soon…it just may not be exactly how everyone might expect. You'll have to see! :)**

**Glad to see you guys are enjoying it so far, and I hope I've been leaving you wanting more. Be sure to review and let me know what you think! Until next time…happy reading, everyone.}**


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Sometimes, in the face of great adversity, people can defy all odds and overcome incredible obstacles. Everything can be going against them and, somehow, they dig deep inside of themselves for a strength they didn't know they had before rising triumphant like a phoenix above the ashes.

And sometimes they trip and fall flat on their face like an ill-fated moron in a bush getting attacked by a hungry raccoon.

In my life, I had always been the second type.

And now I was embroiled in a moment where I needed to be more.

My Ethics classmates were gathered safely out of harm's way in front of the cluster of desks that they had moved back away from where I was at the front. On one side of the front of the classroom was Belle, anxiously grasping the black satin bag containing the two-hundred dollars. On the other side, Gaston and I stood with about ten feet of open space separating us. In the middle was Frollo, looming over the scene like some dark, grinning monument to ancient blood sacrifice.

He had made it clear that I wasn't going to have a chance to avoid getting sprayed. I couldn't just sprint forward, grab the money and the bag from Belle, and run out…not unless I wasn't planning on ever coming back to this school. And if I had any hope of making sweet, sweet love to as many of these Disney lasses as I could, I was going to need to be seeing them every weekday on campus.

So disobeying wasn't an option.

"Miss Delacroix shall remain standing exactly in the position she is now," said Frollo. "All you have to do, Mr. Barrera, is make it to her and take the bag. She will not resist. But first-"

My entire body tensed up.

This was it.

"Your collar must attempt to dissuade you. Mr. Gaston, if you would be so kind?"

I wish I could say something noble or poetic, like my whole life flashed before my eyes in that moment, or that I envisioned my future firstborn child, beautiful and pure and bright-eyed, being born within a gorgeously ornate bedchamber bathed in glorious white light, and that I drew upon the strength of that inspirational vision to-

_OH HOLY JESUS SHIT FUCK AAARRGHUIGHOHGRHAOIAIOJFOAJOAJAOJOOE!_

It was on me! It was everywhere! It was ON ME EVERYWHERE!

I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe! Torment! Pain! Agony! Overwhelming agonizing painful torment!

Gaston had shot a jet of liquid out at me which pretty quickly expanded into a cloud of searing death. His aim was true, and the pain was immediate. It was also incredibly potent, unlike anything I had ever felt before.

Imagine being given a million paper cuts all over your body and then dipped into a vat of lemon juice. And then lit on fire. That's kind of what it felt like.

Almost immediately, I started coughing. Violent, hacking, grating coughs. Like I was one of those terrifying mummified-looking smokers they show in anti-smoking commercials with half their esophagus removed. And I would still bet that they probably have more lung capacity and access to oxygen then I did right then.

The stuff was all around me. I could hear the voices of my classmates as they reacted with shrieks and gasps and curses, but they sounded about a thousand miles away. All my mind could process was that every exposed part of my skin felt ON FIRE-

_itching scratching burning cutting searing stinging tearing biting bleeding slicing dicing_-

Get it off get it off get it off get it off GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT-

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhh!

Suddenly, somewhere in my head, I heard a voice.

'Shane. Focus.'

It was a man's voice, calm, certain, steady. Definitely not the Cheshire Cat's, that much was certain. But whose then?

I didn't really have the clarity or peace of mind to dwell on the question. Mostly all I could think about was that MY SKIN WAS ON FIRE.

'No it's not, it only feels that way.'

_What in the holy fuck?!_

'Focus.'

Focus?! BUT I'M _DYING!_

'No you're not. FOCUS. You can do this.'

Fuck YOU. I can't _BREATHE!_

'Move forward then, or else suffocate there in front of everyone and die in this world along with your own without ever making your mark.'

Making my mark? What the hell was this guy TALKING about?

I realized I was on the ground, writhing and scratching at my skin. My eyes were burning, streaming with tears from their devastated mucus membranes, eyes that already gotten an indirect taste of pepper spray merely hours before.

I forced myself to lunge forward, which drew some gasps from my audience, but I didn't get very far. I was on my hands and knees, coughing a storm and just trying to get some air in my lungs. But my lungs felt like a raging inferno. With trembling fingers, I managed to grab my shirt and pull it over my nose and mouth, but that barely helped. Though the cloud seemed to have already mostly dissipated, the chemicals were still on my skin, stinging in my lips and nostrils. My tongue felt like a dry wad of old gym socks, flopping uselessly in my mouth.

I tried to look up and see forward, looking for where Belle was standing across from me. Through my blurred vision, I could barely make out her shape. She was leaning over, hands on her knees, the bag hanging from one wrist, nearly touching the floor.

Then I heard her voice.

"I'm right here! I'm right here! Just follow my voice!"

I heard Frollo snarl, "Silence! The old woman cannot encourage her attacker!"

"But-"

"Stay in character, Miss Delacroix, or he forfeits!"

Still coughing, I started to crawl, slipping once but not catching myself. I lunged forward a few feet and then stopped when I felt a rancid gagging sensation ascending up my throat. I choked and started to retch, the nerves on my arms and hands feeling like they were being worked on by a blow torch the entire time.

I can't do this.

'Yes, you _can._'

That fucking voice again.

'_Keep going!'_

I managed not to vomit, glanced up and realized I couldn't see much but blurry shapes and dimming colors at this point.

But even though I could barely see or breathe, I started to scramble forward like some unholy cross between a drunken spider and an inebriated crab. Or a monkey. A shitfaced spider crab monkey.

Somewhere far away, I could hear loud, enthusiastic voices. Amazingly, my fellow students were cheering me on. I could hear the voices of Wendy, Tiana, Aladdin, Meg, and Esmeralda, all of them encouraging me to keep going.

"Don't stop, Shane!"

"You're almost there!"

"Go! Go, you beautiful idiot, go!"

(I think that one was Meg.)

"She's right over there, Shane, keep going!"

"Don't give up!"

"You can make it, come on!"

One deep, terrible voice rose above the rest.

Frollo.

_"Give it to him again."_

At least three female voices instinctively cried out, "No!"

But some sense that was neither fully sight nor sound felt Gaston step forward and reach out the canister once again to-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!

WHAT THE FUCK NO NO WHY WHY WHY OWWWRARARIFHRAFHGHOGJAOIJAOIJOIAJ!

What I had been feeling before couldn't even compare to what I was feeling now. I didn't think I could possibly be in any more agony, but I was wrong.

This was what death had to feel like. Every inch of me felt like it was on fire now, the searing pain shooting through my nerves and making all the parts that were covered by clothing feel like they had been dowsed in acid just as much as my exposed skin.

Now I was actually almost 100% blind. And I couldn't breathe, which created the wonderful sensation of absolute panic.

I was consumed by so much of it that it completely obliterated every other sense and sensation. I wanted to be anywhere else, I wanted to be dead just so I couldn't feel this agony anymore, but more than anything I wanted, needed, desperately yearned for some AIR.

My mind became cloudy.

Air, air, air, air, air, oxygen, breath, air, air, air, oxygen, oxygen, breathing, breath, air-

I realized I was actually going to die. I was going to suffocate to death, right here in this stupid piece of shit created hell of a world. Would I even be transported back home? Was there an afterlife that transcended dimensions, or would I end up in some version of this reality's heaven or hell?

Please, just make it stop.

'Don't give up, Shane! This isn't the end.'

I can't do it.

'Yes you can. You have to keep moving.'

I can't see, I can't breathe-

'Go!'

I'm going to die.

'No you're not.'

I'm going to die here on this floor.

'Not if you keep moving! Now GO!'

I can't, I can't, I ca-

'YOU **CAN**.'

So I did.

Somehow, I did.

I felt my muscles propelling myself forward. And even though everything felt on fire, like my face was roasting in a crackling furnace, like my limbs and torso were being flayed by a thousand tiny hooks, a part of my delirious consciousness was lifted aloft from my breaking body. It was like I was floating above myself somehow, and I could see me crawling, even though I simultaneously could feel and see nothing and everything and nothing at all.

I could see Frollo's enraged face, his eyes white with fury, his entire body quaking with rage like a volcano about to erupt.

Gaston was watching me in angry shock, clutching the canister in his big stupid hand as though he wanted to crush it for not having instantly dissolved me.

Wendy's face was white as a sheet. She looked ready to faint. Tiana's hair was wild as she shouted for me to keep going. Jasmine looked silently horrified, Quasimodo the same. Aladdin was fervently shouting for me, holding Meg's hand as she screamed encouraging (in her mind) profanities at me to not give up. Esmeralda was next to them, leaning over as if she could will me forward by getting closer to my level, reaching out as she called me. All of them joined her in crouching and yelling as I crawled obliviously past them, rasping for breath.

And at the far end, across from me, was Belle, unable to speak lest she condemn me, her eyes wide with fear for my well-being.

I was more than halfway to her now, lunging forward, slipping, crawling, lunging forward again, not able to really see in the traditional sense, but still doing everything I could to propel myself towards her. To stop was to collapse, and maybe suffocate and die.

Frollo was livid. With a manic sweep of his arm, he gestured to Gaston to hit me with another dose. A third time from this super-spray would surely make me black out, and possibly get lasting damage from the lack of oxygen to my brain.

Out of everyone, Esmeralda decided enough was enough. She ran forward, coming up behind Gaston as he hesitated to shoot me again. I think even his feeble brain had grasped how dangerous this was, and though he didn't want me to succeed, the thought of potentially _killing _me gave him enough pause for Esmeralda to snatch the canister out of his hand.

Gaston started to reach for her. "Hey, you dumb bitch, what the _hell _do you think you're-"

"Step off, asshole!" she snapped at him, pointing the nozzle right at his face.

Gaston's eyes widened and he quickly backpedaled away with his hands held up, instantly transformed into a coward. Everybody gasped as Frollo stepped forward.

"DROP IT."

Esmeralda glared at him defiantly, still holding it.

"Miss Guybertaut, if you do not release the canister RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT-"

"Holy shit, look!" yelled Meg.

Everyone turned to see me only a few feet away from Belle as she bent down as much as she could with the bag, her feet still rooted to where she stood, but her hand beckoning me to make my last staggering efforts to get to her.

"No fucking way!" LeFou exclaimed.

"You're RIGHT there, Shane, GO!" cried Tiana.

Aladdin started clapping his hands together and hollering like a madman. "Reach! Reach, dude, fucking _reach!"_

"Come on, Shane, you can do it!" Wendy shrieked.

From my perspective, I could see the shadows closing in on my sight from every direction. But I could hear Belle whispering, "Reach!" and with my last vestige of strength, I threw my body forward and stretched my hand out.

My fingers grasped satin.

Wrapping them around the bag, I yanked it out of Belle's hand and then flopped down onto my stomach, clutching it triumphantly.

I heard a collective roar of cheers and applause.

Aaaaand…then I started to vomit. Vomit uncontrollably. Whatever meager amounts of food I had eaten that morning. It was miserable.

After my body violently expelled every trace of my breakfast, my muscles gave out completely and I collapsed, unable to move on my own. My skin still felt like it was on fire, and now my throat felt even worse than it had a moment ago. I was still in terrible pain, like a slug dropped into a carton of salt, but I couldn't move or do anything. I was past that point.

But I had done it. Gotten blasted by some ultimate mace on devil steroids, and still accomplished the impossible task set before me. _Somehow_, I had done it.

Everything after that was a blur.

Apparently, Esmeralda ran to me, and Aladdin and Meg proceeded to follow her. Taking care not to touch as much as my skin as possible, Aladdin yanked me up and Meg helped him hold me.

"Quasi, help us!" Aladdin grunted.

The very strong Quasimodo managed to take one step forward before Frollo swooped down upon them, preventing any other movements from anyway.

"Put him down at once!"

"What, are you serious?" Aladdin asked in disbelief, his grip on me slackening.

"NOW!"

"No!" Meg shouted at him. "He needs help!"

"You dare openly defy _me?" _Frollo hissed.

He took an ominous step toward her, like he was about to rip her head off with his teeth, when Esmeralda suddenly whipped her arm up.

The canister was pointed at Frollo's face.

Frollo froze as the whole class gasped.

And just like that, the tables had turned. Everybody watched with an electric sense of tension, nobody knowing what was going to happen next.

"You are making a _grave _mistake, Miss Guybertaut…" Frollo finally whispered. "I am an _instructor _and an _administrator _at this institution, and you _dare_-"

Esmeralda's eyes flashed as she corrected him. "No, you're a fucking _psychopath."_

In Frollo's eyes, there was nothing but a simmering blackness.

"Proceed _very _carefully now…" he purred softly as he took another step. It was almost like, for some bizarre, perverse reason, he was actually getting _off_ on the confrontation. "…Before you cross the point of no return, my _dear_…"

Esmeralda's face became confused as she tried to process his strange demeanor. For a second there, it probably looked like Esmeralda was going to let him have it, like she was going to just press down and blast him full-bore right in his ugly face.

But she didn't.

Instead, she turned and threw the canister as hard as she could away from where everyone was standing, causing some people to duck anyway. It bounced off the wall and clattered out of view.

"Come on!" she said to her companions.

"Fuck!" Aladdin muttered, but, reluctantly, he snapped his fingers at Quasimodo, who darted forward and hoisted me over his shoulder. They both followed Meg and Esmeralda in running across the room for the door in a _highly _dramatic exit, one I'm not sure I really even deserved, as the rest of the class practically exploded with their reaction.

Frollo stood alone, rigid as a statue, watching us escape, his chin tucking down into his chest as his nose wrinkled and drew his lips up in a snarling expression reminiscent of a wolf. His eyes seemed to glow with a white hot rage, contrasting with the empty blackness of his pupils. His fists clenched.

Though nobody left in the classroom was close enough to hear him, he uttered one single inaudible word.

_"Esmeralda…"_

Meanwhile, Quasimodo had carted me up the stairs, following his three rebellious friends. I couldn't see anything, but I could sense the brightness of the sunlight and I groaned, starting to cough again. We ended up in the shade somewhere and Quasimodo began to lower me down.

As he placed me down into a sitting position, crouching next to me so that he could hold my weight up, I could hear the others' voices arguing.

"We have to get him to the nurse!" said Meg.

Esmeralda quickly tried to take control of the situation.

"Are you crazy?! This school's a fuckin insane asylum! We need to rinse his face and get him out of here!"

Aladdin sounded skeptical. "Well shit, Esme, where are we gonna-"

"You and Meg go get some things of milk from the cafeteria!" Esmeralda said urgently. "Get at least two, and a water bottle! Go! Hurry!"

I heard them hesitate maybe a second before they took off.

"Quasi, wait here with him while I go get someone."

Quasimodo had a soft voice. "Okay, Esmeralda."

Then she was gone, and it was just me and the hunchback. I felt him try to gently pat my chest, attempting to comfort me as he held me up.

His tone was as gentle as his touch. "It's okay. You're going to be all right. Esmeralda always knows what she's doing in situations like this. She'll take care of you."

I think I just moaned something unintelligible in response and he patted my chest again.

At some point, Aladdin and Meg returned with the milk, and Esmeralda showed up with somebody else in tow.

I heard Aladdin react to the other person's presence with displeasure.

"Oh, what the hell, Esmeralda? Why is _he _here?"

"Shut up, Al. Give me the milk."

It took me a second to place the next voice, but I realized that it was Phoebus, head of the campus police.

"Frollo did this to him? In class?"

Esmeralda was opening up the milk carton. "He's a fucking maniac. He nearly killed him."

"There's not really anything I can do," Phoebus said. "I have no real power over him. His connections to the court systems and his position at this school…my hands are tied."

"I just want you to cover our asses when we leave. Frollo's gonna tell you guys to stop us from leaving campus right now and obviously that can't happen."

"Oh, for the love of Disney, Esmeralda, did you get into some kind of altercation with him?!"

"She pointed the pepper spray at his face!" Aladdin butted in. "Directly threatening him like some kind of idiot! We're gonna have so much heat coming down on us now, they're gonna skin us _alive."_

"He almost _killed _him!" Esmeralda protested. "I'm not gonna sit back while that monster tortures an innocent person!" She tilted my head up and said, "Quasi, open his eyes. We have to rinse them out with milk, it works better than water. Shane, can you hear me? We're going to rinse your eyes out, okay?"

I groaned and then felt the cool liquid pouring over my face. In any other scenario, getting my face doused in milk would have grossed me out, but at the moment it felt like a baptism of cool relief.

"That was not a good idea," Phoebus muttered. "This could be very bad for you."

"What else could I have done?" Esmeralda demanded. "I couldn't just stand there!"

"Nobody deserves to get tortured like that," Meg agreed softly.

"We don't even know him!" Aladdin snapped. "We don't know anything _about _him! You're right about one thing, Frollo _is _a raging psychopath, and now he's gonna be gunning for all of us!"

"He _already _knows about us!"

"I've worked so hard to keep him or anyone else from having any shit on us-"

"I don't want to hear this," said Phoebus, who obviously was in an extreme conflict of interest. "Save this conversation for later, when I'm _not _around."

"Okay, _fuck_ you, man, you know how I feel about you!"

"You think I couldn't take you down if I didn't want to, Slick? If it wasn't for _her-"_

"Both of you, just shut up!" Esmeralda said. "Meg, hand me the water!"

I felt cold water splashing my eyes and face now, washing off the milk. My face and shirt were both soaked in liquids but I was too delirious to care.

"Okay, Shane, you need to drink this now for your throat," Esmeralda said, putting the milk up to my lips. "Just swallow, okay?"

I obeyed, trying to swallow the cool liquid as best I could before coughing and sputtering. Again, Esmeralda splashed my chin with water, then put that up to my lips.

"Drink one more time."

I did.

"Okay, that'll have to do for now," she said, pulling the water away and standing. "Quasi, get him up."

"Where do you think we're taking him exactly, Esmeralda?" demanded Aladdin. "Not to _our _place?"

"Quit being an asshole, Aladdin! You know there's room!"

"No! You think you can just make these decisions that affect all the rest of us, well I'm telling you I'm not okay with sticking my neck out for a person we barely even know!"

"You know that the Court of Miracles is open to whoever needs-"

"_Bullshit!_ We can't just risk-"

The ringing of a cell phone interrupted them.

It was Phoebus's.

"That's gonna be the call," he said to everyone. "Whatever you guys are going to do, you need to figure it out fast and do it or else I'm gonna have to detain you."

"We need to go to the van!" Esmeralda said.

"Oh, my van?" Aladdin asked. "You mean _my _van? The one that I drove us here in?"

"Damn it, Aladdin!"

"Babe, we don't have any time!" Meg said to her boyfriend. "We have to at least get off campus or we're screwed."

"We're screwed either way!" he snapped.

"We don't have a choice!"

"Fuck!" Aladdin shouted, punching something. But he knew they were right. "Let's go!"

I felt myself being lifted up again as I heard Phoebus answer the phone.

"This is Captain Phoebus. What's that, sir? She did _what?"_

The next thing I knew, I was being hustled and jostled around until I heard a van door sliding open and then I got placed inside the roomy interior of a vehicle. If I had been less focused on the pain and more on my surroundings, I probably would have felt a lot more disturbed than I was. It was kind of like getting snatched up off the street, blindfolded, and carried off in some creepy rape van to be sold into human trafficking.

I heard Aladdin going around and get into the driver's seat. Meg got into the passenger seat next to him while Esmeralda and Quasimodo were in the back with me.

"Has anyone thought about Jim?" Aladdin questioned, his extreme irritation palpable. "And what he's gonna do when none of us are on campus when the bell rings?"

"Jim's a big boy," said Meg. "He'll be fine."

"He can catch a ride with someone," said Esmeralda. "Cindy or Tiana or someone."

"Well I'm glad you two have it all figured it out," Aladdin muttered, starting the engine with a rumble and then a roar. He put it into gear and we started moving forward. "You can explain it all to Clopin when we get there. I'm sure he'll be fuckin _thrilled."_

I could feel the car in motion, and I could feel Esmeralda's soothing fingertips stroking my forehead and my hair as the pain started to subside into a welcoming numbness.

And then I felt nothing at all as my consciousness left me completely.

**{Whew! Things are heating up! More surprises and changes are on the way, including some characters we haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting. But questions abound! Where is Shane being taken? How will Frollo and the school react to this open act of defiance? Who was the mysterious voice in Shane's head, and why he was talking to him? (Answer: He's schizophrenic, OBVIOUSLY. Haha just kidding…or am I o.O)**

**I just take a quick moment to shout out and thank all of my readers, especially the ones who have been consistently reviewing: (BlackAdder, IhateMarySue's, FloraIrmaTylee, Kamokazi, Princesskammy, Ashlovzu, and everyone else…even you, Kurklefuss, you creepy bastard.) I appreciate all the feedback. (Ashlovzu, I'm extremely honored to have "inspired" someone, in whatever capacity, to write. That's what this website is all about! You should definitely put your story up. Don't worry about how "good" you think it is or isn't. There's nothing on this site, my story included (ESPECIALLY my story), that is so incredible that you should worry about uploading your own creative works for lack of confidence. Go for it!)**

**As for the Dreamworks question from starksre, though I do like most of those Dreamworks films and there are some great characters there, unfortunately they won't be appearing in this story. They have to be traditionally animated and they have to be Disney (which does not include Pixar) to fit with the rules I've set up. So sorry to any Brave fans out there but Merida won't be in this because she's a CGI Pixar creation, and also I haven't seen Brave (lol). I haven't seen most of the recent Disney films, actually, including Princess and the Frog and Tangled (because I'm a boy and not a kid anymore so I don't really ever hear the homies saying "Yo dawg let's go catch that princess movie" haha), but I've watched clips of the former. As for the latter, I'm still debating whether to include Rapunzel and Flynn…I'm leaning towards no right now because they're CGI and I haven't seen the movie, but I don't know. I might change my mind if the masses demand their inclusion.**

**One final thing: chime in and let me know whose perspective you guys would like to see next for the upcoming "Diary" chapters if you have any opinion. (I'd like to alternate around much as I can in between the main storyline from Shane's POV.) It would be optimal if it's a character who would make sense from the story so far, but if a bunch of people clamor for a specific character, I will do my best to accommodate it. Otherwise, I'll just go with what fits, so if you just want to wait for what I do, cool, but if there's someone you really want to hear from, holla back at me and let me know.**

**Anyway, thanks again! I'm already working on the next chapter and will try to keep this updating streak going as long as my creative juices keep flowing and the real world doesn't squash me with responsibilities. Hope you guys still like it so far! See you soon!}**


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

When I came to, I was naked.

Wait! No I wasn't. But I was only in my boxer-briefs, and I was lying in a bed that I didn't recognize. I couldn't really see that well (my eyes still burned something terrible, but it was more like an after-burn than it was an active feeling of them being roasted alive), but I could see that I was in a drab, mostly unfurnished, and dimly lit room, with not much else other than an old TV and a dresser taking up any space.

Or maybe it had plenty of lighting and I only _thought _that it was dimly lit because I was still recovering from my hopefully temporary blindness.

Whatever the reason, I didn't see the shadowy figure sitting atop the dresser in the far corner across from me until it hopped down.

"Holy shit!" I gasped, trying to sit up and either flee or defend myself.

But I was still too disoriented to do much other than sort of flop around lamely, like a turtle flipped over on its back.

"Whoa, hey, chill out, buddy. Don't want you to hurt yourself now."

The voice was that of an adolescent male's, a little high-pitched and with more than a hint of mischief. I still couldn't see the speaker's face, but he looked to be on the shorter side and skinny. He had moved with a surprising amount of agility and grace, making me wonder if he had ever had gymnastics training.

I could also hear several voices in another room arguing about something, but they were too far away and muffled for me to make out anything that was being said.

As if reading my thoughts, the boy said, "They're arguing about you, you know."

My voice was hoarse. "Who?"

"Esmeralda. And Aladdin. With Clopin. And I don't know who else. I don't think Clopin is very happy that you're here."

"I don't even know how I got here," I mumbled.

"You don't?" he asked. "Oh wow." He hesitated and when he spoke again, his voice had some vulnerability to it. "But you do remember what we did at least, right?"

I frowned. "Huh?"

He gasped, a hand going up to his chest. "You mean…you don't _remember_…?" He let out a hushed little whimper. "But-but-you said that I was your best ever! And-and-afterwards, you said that you _loved me!"_

Wait, _WHAT?!_

I suddenly felt like my stomach had tumbled into a gaping chasm of eternal freefall. My heart started to pound in my chest as panic began to rise.

"Wait, wha-_what _are you saying?" I stammered, trying not to freak out completely.

But I was totally starting to freak out completely.

The boy let out a loud sob and covered his face with his hands, his skinny shoulders trembling as he began to weep. "You lying bastard! You told me you loved me and now you don't even remember! You probably say that to ALL the girls, don't you?!"

This couldn't be true.

No way.

No _fucking _WAY!

There was no way that I had come to this godforsaken realm with the sole intention of fornicating with the movie princesses of my childhood and had somehow ended up DOING THE NASTY WITH A _DUDE!_

Now it was my turn to start crying.

"Oh, GAWD!" I started to bawl. "What _is _this horrible place?!"

Before I could really get too far into my distraught sobs, I was interrupted by the boy's sudden uncontrollable laughter. He was laughing so hard that he was actually jumping up and down in hysterics as he shrieked with giggles.

My eyes narrowed.

"Wait a second…"

"Oh man!" he crowed, practically doubled over. "If you could have seen your face! Priceless!"

"You little asshole," I growled, but I was too incredibly relieved and exhausted to work up sufficient anger. "When my vision comes all the way back, you better pray I don't recognize you."

"I'm sorry, chief, I couldn't resist." He giggled again and then took a deep breath to calm himself. "You really believed me, didn't you?"

"What can I say, you were pretty convincing."

His smile faded a bit. "Wait, but I don't actually, like, or-do I…do I _look _like I'd be into dudes?"

"Well yeah, obviously."

"Wait, seriously?" he asked, his voice going a notch higher. "Aw man! It's because of my stupid eyelashes, I swear, I'm gonna cut them off! Everybody always thinks-"

Now it was my turn to start snickering.

He stared at me and then realized I was messing with him, so he started to laugh as well.

"Ah, okay. I sorta set myself up for that one. Walked right into it." He paused. "Okay, but in all seriousness though, I don't _actually _look like-"

I sighed. "Look, I honestly can't tell you. I can't really see that well right now, in case you didn't notice."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that whole…_incident. _You've got some brass balls, man, I'll give you that. You get major props in my book. I'm so glad I dropped out before I ever had to get into Frollo's class. I would have had him next year."

At the mention of Frollo's name, a whole host of recent memories started flashing in my mind. His sneering face. The special strain of pepper spray. The horrible pain and the blindness. Getting milk poured on my face and in my eyes, then passing out in a van.

And now waking up here, with this antagonistic little imp.

"How old are you?" I asked him.

"Sixteen."

"Sixteen?"

He sighed. "I know I don't look it. I've always looked young for my age. I sorta believe I'm never gonna grow up, honestly. But that's how I like it. Adults suck major butt anyway."

It was suddenly very obvious who he was.

"Peter Pan…no effing way…" I whispered, actually feeling a little star-struck to be completely 100% honest. His was the first Disney animated classic I had ever seen. My parents said that when I was only a couple months old, they were watching 'Peter Pan' with me and whenever the crocodile came on with his music, I would raise my eyebrows up and down like the crocodile would raise his eyes. (Clearly a sign that I was a Disney prodigy.)

Shit, my parents. I wondered if I would ever see them again.

I felt a weird lump in my throat so quickly pushed the thought from my mind. It was only my second day here (though it already felt like an eternity), so it made no sense to start worrying yet. I had plenty of time to get my shit together and fulfill the requirements to make it home. And maybe even have fun doing it, although so far my stay had more closely resembled getting tonsils removed without anesthesia.

I hoped there would be plenty of sweet ice cream to look forward to, if you know what I mean.

"Hey, did you just say my name?" Peter asked, shaking me from my thoughts. His question wasn't in exactly the friendliest tone I'd ever heard in my life.

"That depends. Is it Peter?"

"Who told you my name? They haven't been talking about me at school, have they?"

I blinked, confused. Why was he sounding so mad?

"Has _who_ been talking about you at school?"

"Al and the girls. Or anyone! How do you know who I am?"

I decided I needed to make something up. "I…uh…I think I heard someone say it while I was unconscious. Like, I was half awake or something, I don't know."

"How dumb do I look?"

"I dunno, I can't really see that well. Pretty dumb, I'm guessing?"

"Ha. No, seriously. Where'd you hear it?"

"That's my answer, man. It's not like I was drugged or anything. I was just in shock, I think. I heard things people were saying. They must have said your name."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Well…I don't know what to tell you."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire."

"Your maturity is astounding, but that reminds me. I don't actually have any pants. You don't happen to know what happened to them, do you? And you can skip the morning-after routine this time around, thanks."

Peter gave a wry half-smile. "I think they're washing them. But those things might have to be trashed, honestly. I've been pepper sprayed before too and I know how hard it is to get it off of you."

"So are you some kind of delinquent then, Mr. Pan?" I asked.

He grinned and turned his thumb and forefinger into a pistol. "Wouldn't you like to know? I don't think I can answer that, though."

"Fair enough, I guess. Could you at least tell me what time it is?"

Peter laughed. "I have no idea, man."

"Don't you have a watch, or a phone, or something?"

He shook his head. "That crap's for adults who rot in an office all day. I don't really keep track of time or days of the week or anything like that." He winked. (At least I think he did). "It's a very freeing existence."

I guessed I couldn't really be surprised that the Boy of Eternal Youth would have that kind of answer or lifestyle, but I did wonder how he managed to survive in the real world, or whatever this was.

Peter started walking for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Out. I just wanted to catch a peek at the person causing all the commotion, but I don't wanna stick around for the explosion. I just thought somebody who could get the whole school to hate him in only two days might be kind of cool."

"Did I pass?"

Peter shrugged again. "Eh." A thought seemed to pop in his head and he added, "Hey, do me a favor though. Forget that you met me."

"Why?"

"Just pretend I'm a dream that you had. I don't like people knowing about me."

"Knowing about you?"

"That's right. I don't mind them talking about me so much. I enjoy the notoriety. But direct contact? Not so much." He grinned. "It's a good thing you can't really see."

"For you maybe," I said with a sigh, rubbing my sore eyes.

Peter tapped the door with his hand, lingering for only a second more. "Yup. All right, see you later, chief. Remember! This was all just a _dreeeeam…"_

And with that, he slipped away outside.

I was alone in the room now. I also couldn't hear the other voices anymore. I strained to sit up and tried to decide if I could get up and look around at my surroundings. I didn't really want to go poking around too much wearing nothing but my drawers, but I also had no real idea where I was. I couldn't even tell if I was in a house, an apartment, or what.

But my skin still felt raw and my throat was still killing me. Touching the back of my pillow, I realized that it was slightly damp, as was my underwear, as though I had been wet earlier and though my hair and body had dried, the materials had not yet.

That probably meant that somebody had tossed me in a shower or something and scrubbed the pepper spray residue off me. On one hand, I was grateful. On the other, I was a little self-conscious. I wondered if it had been a boy or a girl, or multiple people, and how much of me they had seen. The underwear I was wearing was the same I had been wearing at school, so there was a chance they didn't catch a glimpse of my unmentionables.

Then again, who knew if they had snuck a peek, which would make the first time anybody in this world had seen me naked a time when I was unconscious and covered in milk, chemicals, and vomit.

I laid my head back and groaned.

"Fuck me…"

"Oh, well I'm _honored, _but unfortunately I'm not on the list…"

Hearing the raspy voice caused me to shoot my head back up like a rocket and open my eyes.

I could see a grinning, disembodied feline head hovering above the same dresser Peter Pan had been hanging out on.

"You!" I said, feeling all kinds of pissed. "Where the hell were _you _during this whole miserable ordeal?"

The Cheshire Cat giggled. "Oh I was there. I was there the whole time! And let me tell you, it was very entertaining. You didn't disappoint! I'm extra pleased, because I was the one who encouraged Meeko to wait in the bushes for you in the first place. All it took was a little nudge, really, he was very compliant."

I frowned. "Meeko?"

"Haven't you seen 'Pocahontas'? You know, the raccoon?"

I did. "What the hell, man?! Why would you do that?!"

The Cat started floating dreamily through the air until he landed on the end of the bed, that infuriating grin never leaving his face.

"I was just trying to…wait for it…_spice up _the action!"

Ugh. I just stared at him, not at all amused.

He burst out laughing at his own stupid pun, then saw that I wasn't laughing, and said, "Hey, come on, that was pretty good, you've got to admit."

"That was lame. You're lame."

"Pepper is a spice!"

"No, I get it, you still suck."

The Cat narrowed his green eyes. "I guess everyone's a critic."

"Do you know how much harder you've made things for me?" I demanded, sitting up as much as I could to glare at him. "I didn't even get through my second day and I'm already in the doghouse! Frollo probably wants to _kill _me now!"

"He wants to kill everyone. Everyone who doesn't fit into his impossible standards of piousness. Don't think you're so special."

"Yeah, well I could have at least floated under the radar! Now I'm sitting nice and pretty alone atop his shit list! He's probably planning his revenge right now!"

"Hey, you should be thanking me! I've sped everything up for you."

"Yeah, my expulsion!"

The Cat rolled his eyes. "No, you simpleton. You weren't going to get much action in Ariel's little hoarding dungeon. And you're too much of a wet blanket to go after her anyway. You whined that you wanted an upgrade, and now look where you are."

"Then where am I, exactly?" I asked.

"The Court of Miracles, of course!"

"There doesn't seem to be anything miraculous about this dump."

"It's better than the tetanus infection waiting to happen that you were slumming in last night!"

That much at least was probably true. But I still didn't know what or where 'The Court of Miracles' was, or who else populated it.

"How am I gonna go back to school now?" I asked him. "Assuming I find out where the hell I actually am first."

The Cat yawned. "Catch a ride with someone, hitchhike, I don't care, I'm not your mom."

"No, I don't mean _literally. _I mean, how do I go back to school after the way we left? Aren't we gonna be in a shitload of trouble?"

The Cat shrugged. "All you guys did was play hooky, really. Ditched class a little early, threatened a teacher, coerced the head of campus police, you know, small time stuff. Nothing worth getting your panties in a bunch about. So you might get a few detentions or something, who cares?"

"A few detentions." I nearly laughed at the absurdity of his understatement, but there was nothing really funny about it. "You realize that I just endured the worst pain I've ever felt because of an accident that happened off-campus, right? An accident that _you _caused, and that I was completely innocent in. And as punishment, I got doused in some mutant strain of pepper spray Satan himself probably pissed out."

"But you overcame it, did you not?" the Cat asked me, suddenly looking way too excited. "Did you ever think you had it in you? Do you think you could have handled that back in your own world, in your own comfortable, unremarkable life?"

"Who cares?!" I demanded. "I thought the whole reason I'm here is to try and pork princesses!"

"No, that's your _mission," _corrected the Cat. "Why you're here is something different altogether."

"And what's that?"

"Why, it's all about personal growth, of course! A journey of self-discovery! You know the type, you've seen it before!"

I rolled my eyes. "I knew you were gonna try and Disney-fy me before long."

He chuckled. "You're trying to prove something to us and perhaps we're trying to prove something to you. And get entertained in the process. That's not a new development."

"Okay, who's this 'we' you're talking about? How many people are you working with, and how are you doing all this?"

"Don't question the specifics, kid," said the Cat. "Trust me on that one. It's far beyond you or me. I didn't create the demand, I can only help provide the supply."

I shook my head. "This isn't what I signed up for. Being homeless and getting tortured."

"Welcome to the not-so-magical world of Disney! I thought you turned your nose up at how things happen in our stories! I thought you would be Pimp-King of the World by now!"

"This kind of thing never happened in any of the movies!"

"Then be grateful that you're an original. And this isn't a movie."

"I need to figure out where I am," I said, now motivated to try and at least find some clothes. "And who I'm with."

"Esmeralda and Meg live here!" said the Cat. "Ta-da! You're welcome."

I was unconvinced. "It doesn't look like a girl lives here."

"Not in this room, you nincompoop. This building. Along with Aladdin, Mowgli, Quasimodo, Peter, your little friend Jim…"

"Well I need to find one of those people."

"Just sit back and _relax…_try and make yourself look more presentable. You look like hell, if you don't mind my saying so."

"I mind!" I snapped. "Considering it's your fault in the first place!"

"So quick to throw around blame but never so much as a thank you. I mean, here you are, in a perfect set-up, the same building as Meg and Esmeralda, who are both a _hundred _times more attainable than Belle, who for some reason you've been spending most of your time with."

"I like Belle."

The Cat raised an eyebrow and grinned curiously. "Oh, is that _so?"_

I stared at him for a second before rolling my eyes. "Not like that, you moron. I'm just saying, I enjoy her company. She's not a complete and total retard."

"So she's not just a one-dimensional cardboard cutout?"

Now I was getting frustrated. "Look, if you think I might be 'falling in love' with anyone, you're dumber than you were drawn to look. And trust me, whoever animated you should be slapped. In the face. With a dick."

"Charming."

I heard voices approaching from outside the door.

"Oh great, I'm practically naked."

"A great position to be in, considering your mission!" said the Cat as he started to disappear from view. "Show the ladies what you're working with!"

The door swung open and Aladdin, Esmeralda, and a third man of similar coloring strode in. The first two looked a little heated but my vision wasn't good enough yet to recognize any expression on the man's face. He was thin, with straight, longish black hair, a long nose, and a goatee. He also had gold earrings and loose fitting, funky-colored clothing. At the moment, his mouth was a straight, emotionless line, but I thought I could see some expressiveness lurking behind the current neutrality of his eyes.

"You're awake," said Esmeralda, and she smiled at me. "How are you feeling?"

"Alive," I said. "Which is more than I could have said an hour ago…or, actually, how long have I been out for?"

"It's almost five."

I blinked in surprise. "Oh man. I had no idea I was asleep that long."

"Do you have a family you need to call?" asked the man. "Anyone who might be looking for you? We checked your phone but it had no numbers on it…"

I could tell that they were a little spooked by this. After all, who had a phone but no numbers?

I decided to make up a lie that they might accept. "I…uh…sorta borrowed my phone recently. I haven't put any numbers in it yet."

"You borrowed it?"

"Uh…make that stole."

They all looked at each other, a little more at ease. Stealing was something they were all familiar with. I, however, was someone with whom they weren't.

"My name is Clopin," said the man in his melodious voice. "I'm Aladdin's and Esmeralda's uncle. They told me what happened today at your school. I'm sorry what you were put through. But you must understand, Claude Frollo has been making life miserable for people around here for many, many years now. It is an unjust world we live in, and the system is not meant to protect those of us who have very little. Do you come from a family with the means to protect you?"

"I'm not sure what you-"

"He's asking if your family has money," said Aladdin.

"Oh," I said. "Uh, no. I'm poor as dirt."

"Welcome to the club," muttered Aladdin bitterly.

"Frollo thinks he can prey on those who are too weak or poor to defend themselves," said Clopin. "And unfortunately he's right. I suspected you came from humble means, otherwise he would have never targeted you. A harsh reality of our existence."

"I don't want any problems with Frollo," I said, "or with anyone. He's an asshole, but I'm not trying to fight a war against him. I didn't purposely provoke him or anything."

"But you messed with the superintendent's daughters," said Esmeralda.

"I didn't do anything to them!"

"If you were at all involved in any foul play concerning such affluent and notable students like Triton's daughters," said Clopin, "then that is something Frollo and his ilk cannot tolerate. Not at your rung in the social ladder."

"There was nothing I could do," I said. "He blamed me for something I had almost nothing to do with, then he put a horribly unfair task in front of me, expecting me to fail, and I went and completed it. It almost killed me, but I completed it."

"You wouldn't have if Esmeralda hadn't stepped in," Aladdin said, glaring at his cousin, who glared defiantly right back at him.

"This is our problem," sighed Clopin. "I'm sure you're a perfectly fine person, but our family and neighborhood has a long, dark history against Frollo and this state's corrupt judicial system. When Esmeralda intervened to assist you, and the others jumped in, our little extended family got placed right into Frollo's crosshairs. Now I fear that he will have extra motivation to come after us all."

"But isn't he just a vice-principal, for Chrissakes? How much power can he have?"

Clopin shook his head. "He used to be a provincial judge. It is only in recent years that he became a full time educator. He used to do both, and he still has strong ties to the provincial and city police. But do not let his titles fool you, he is a very unjust man."

"Yeah I figured that one out on my own…" I muttered.

"Your family is probably worried about you," said Clopin. "Perhaps you should call them."

"Not really," I said. "I don't have anyone looking after me."

Clopin's eyebrow rose. "No family?"

"It's complicated…"

Clopin gazed at my face for a long while before he clapped his hands, his mood lightening a significant degree, which made me suspect how genuine it was. "Well. In that case, you are welcome to stay here in our building tonight if you are not feeling well enough to leave. If you need a ride somewhere, that can be arranged also."

"Thank you," I said. "I appreciate you guys helping me out. I swear, I didn't try to get mixed up in any of this."

"I am hoping that the consequences will be minimal," said Clopin. "The school has already called me concerning today's incident. They sounded somewhat remorseful on the message. Of course, that is likely a smokescreen." He looked at Aladdin and Esmeralda. "Make sure that our guest is comfortable and fed. Any exploited and downtrodden soul is welcome here at the Court of Miracles if he wishes no harm upon anyone who doesn't deserve it."

He took a step away and then stopped to quietly add, "He is your responsibility for the night. Don't let him wander." Then he turned, smiled, and waved his hand at me. "I hope you make a quick recovery. Tonight, you are among friends."

"That's a relief," I said. "Thank you."

Clopin bowed his head at me and then stepped out of the room.

Aladdin immediately turned to Esmeralda.

"He's _your _responsibility, got that? It wasn't _my _idea to bring him here."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah whatever, Al. You don't have to keep trying to prove what an asshole you are. We all already know."

"Hey, Aladdin," I said. "Or…_Al. _Look, man, I'm sorry if you guys are in a bad position because of me. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you guys, I'll do it."

He looked at me and then sighed, softening a little. "I know it's not your fault, man. Frollo is a piece of shit; nobody's debating that. But we run a tight operation here and we still don't know shit about you. Like, at all. And in my life, I have to play everything close to the chest…it's how I stay alive. So don't expect to be automatically welcomed with open arms. It doesn't work that way out here. It's a harsh world we live in, nothing personal."

"I understand," I said. "I don't expect anything. I just want to exist and not attract the attention of anybody psychotic for a change."

Aladdin smiled for the first time. "You should avoid Esmeralda then."

"Oh _please," _she said. "If he needs to avoid _anyone_, it's you and Meg. Unless he wants to get a vase thrown at his head during one of your million fights."

"Hey, we apologized for that."

"Empty words don't make the bump on my head go away."

"Yeah, well he doesn't have to worry about that," Aladdin said, "because he's not staying at our place tonight. Too much sensitive material he could see. He might be a spy." He cast a glance at me that made me unsure of if he was kidding or not. I got the impression that, though it was a joke on the surface, underneath he was quite serious.

"Is that what you call your chronic fornication now?" Esmeralda asked. "Sensitive material?"

"Funny," Aladdin said. "But seriously. He ain't staying in our place. So he can stay in here and someone keep an eye on him or I don't know what. Maybe you can beg Jim to stay in here with him. He said they've met already."

"We'll figure it out," she responded.

"Whatever," he said. He nodded at me. "Catch you later, New Guy. Don't go poking around anything you shouldn't be." He paused then added, "Now that doesn't include my cousin, so if you happen to get lucky tonight, feel free to-"

"Oh shut up, Aladdin!" Esmeralda said. "Get the hell out of here."

He maintained eye contact with me and pointed, then finally gave Esmeralda a leering grin and walked out of the room.

And then it was just the two of us left in there, her standing, and me on the bed, almost completely naked under the sheets. Here before me was a girl with about as perfect a body as I'd ever seen, and then there was me…dumb, mediocre-looking me, trapped in the unworthy shell that I had spent my life bumbling around in for twenty-odd years before ending up here.

I suddenly felt very self-conscious.

Esmeralda seemed to pick up on that and she gingerly took a step forward, grinning at me as I burrowed a little lower under the sheets.

"Are you cold?" she asked me.

"No," I said before seeing the Cat floating behind her. He nodded and excitedly gestured his paws, goading me to try and be smooth (which I didn't really see a way to pull off, considering the circumstance).

But I decided to take a swing at it.

"Why? Are _you _cold?" I asked, trying to settle into an alluring positioning.

"Am _I _cold?"

"Yeah. You trying to climb in here?" I winked. "There's room."

"Pshh!" she scoffed. "In _that _bed? Ew. I'd never."

"We can go somewhere else if you'd like," I said casually.

Esmeralda smiled. "Oh, I think you look pretty comfortable right where you are."

"I'm in a strange bed, in a strange room, alone, in just my chonies. And I don't know where the rest of my clothes are. Trust me, I'm not comfortable."

She sat down on the edge of the bed, a lot of space between us. (But still not as much as if she had been standing.) "Yeah you're not gonna be using _those _anymore. Your clothes, I mean."

I grinned. "I'm liking the sound of this already."

She laughed. "You sure are frisky for someone who was in horrible pain not very long ago."

"I'm just trying to make the best of this strange situation I've found myself in."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm just _saying, _I wouldn't mind some company, and maybe a little tender loving care, to get me through this tough time."

"Want some soup?" she asked suddenly. "Jim brought a bunch of leftovers from the Benbow last night. Meg is heating a big pot of it up for us. We thought it might help you, since you're sorta sick, kinda. Are you even hungry?"

I thought about it and realized I was starving.

"I don't know what the Benbow is, but I'm super hungry."

"It's an inn and a diner that he and his mom work at. Meg and I help out around there too sometimes. All the food has that old-fashioned home-cooked taste. Does that meet your approval?"

"Most definitely."

"Then in that case, I will have a nice hot bowl of soup delivered up to you here very shortly," Esmeralda said. "How's that for tender loving care?"

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but I guess it'll do for now."

"Oh you _guess?" _she asked, scooting a bit closer to me. She smirked. "And what exactly _did _you have in mind?"

I pretended like I was thinking. "That depends. How long do we have before our food arrives?"

Esmeralda started laughing, which was not wholly the response I was going for. "You're funny. You're really trying to be smooth, sitting there in your Batman underwear."

I narrowed my eyes. "Wait, how do you know that?"

"Know what?" she asked innocently.

"That I'm wearing Batman underwear!"

She snickered. "What, am I detecting a hint of self-consciousness from Mr. Smooth all of a sudden? There's a curveball I wasn't expecting."

"I'm just worried you wouldn't be able to resist keeping your hands off me in my unconscious state. You might have tried to take advantage of me, especially in my sexy superhero undergarments."

"Tempting as that was for me," said Esmeralda, "you'll be happy to know then that Quasimodo was kind enough to handle your stripping and scrubbing. I'm sure he respected your boundaries, but you can ask him if you're still nervous about it."

"I don't think that'll be necessary."

"Good." Esmeralda stood up. "Hey, can I ask you a kinda random question?"

"Okay…"

"Are you Jewish?"

I slowly frowned. "Jewish? No. Why would you think I'm Jewish?"

"Well, I mean, you're circumcised and all, so I thought…"

My jaw dropped and then I lunged at her as she jumped out of my reach, laughing hysterically.

"I knew you were a pervert!" I exclaimed.

She tauntingly blew a kiss at me and then turned and darted out the door while I struggled to get out of the blankets to go after her.

When I ran out of the room to catch her, I almost tripped because my legs felt wobbly, but I kept going, and ran through the mostly empty den until I finally lost my balance and went tumbling.

Esmeralda stopped running and looked back at me. Seeing me on my hands and knees, she let out a laugh, then stopped and bit her lip.

"Are you okay?"

I grunted and tried to push myself up. "I guess my head is still woozy."

She gave a dramatic sigh. "I guess _I'll _have to help you then…"

She trotted over to me, then bent over to help pick me up, putting my arm around her shoulder, which pressed our bodies together.

I found myself gazing into her eyes again. She was too close to go anywhere, what with holding me up, and me in nothing but boxer-briefs. Her breast was pressed against my chest and her hip against my hip, with my arm around her shoulder and neck, putting our faces intimately close. Esmeralda didn't seem intimidated by the contact however, and we held our gazes for a good couple seconds before she said, "You're heavier than you look."

"Then you're weaker than you look," I said.

"I can drop you."

"Please don't."

"Why do I get the impression you're faking just so you can be half-naked and pressed up against me?"

I grinned. "I'll never admit to that."

Esmeralda flashed her pearly whites at me. "You're sneakier than I gave you credit for. I think you would fit in here. Are you sure you're not secretly a long-lost cousin of ours?"

"God, I hope not. Otherwise that's gonna make what I'm thinking about really creepy."

She shook her head, amused. "It's probably creepy anyway. Let's get you back to your gross little bed."

She helped me get back to it and I climbed back in, unfortunately alone. But I really was too woozy and rubber-limbed to be traipsing around chasing after flirtatious gypsy girls.

I eyed Esmeralda as she looked around for a chair or something to sit on.

"There's a seat right here next to me," I said innocently.

"Yeah I see that one," she said. "I'm looking for another one."

"Well I don't know where the hell I am so I can't help you."

Esmeralda found the remote to the TV. "Wanna watch TV while we wait?"

"Not really, no."

She smirked. "Well, I do. So that's what we're gonna do. And just so that nobody gets the wrong idea when they get here, I'm gonna go get you a robe out of the bathroom. I'm pretty sure there's one in there."

"Suit yourself," I said, not at all ungrateful to get the chance to cover up a little. "Whose place is this, by the way?"

"Nobody's. It's one of the empty apartments we use sometimes."

I frowned. "And you guys just picked the lock or…?"

Esmeralda laughed. "No. We have access to all the apartments in this whole complex. This is your first time inside the Court of Miracles, isn't it?"

"What kind of name is that for a building complex?"

"It's kind of a joke," she said, "but it goes beyond just being the name of a building. It's a cultural thing. A lot of down-on-their luck people live here. Some kids without homes or parents. We're like one big family, sort of. My uncle runs things around here, along with his partners. It's kind of notorious around Neverland. Hard to get in, but if you're not a welcomed guest, almost impossible to get out. Not to scare you or anything."

"Did you say Neverland?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's the name of this part of the city. I don't know what part you live in or how much you've explored town, but this is probably the part people have told you to avoid. It's sort of like our own world here. The snobs in Atlantica call it 'the ghetto,' and yeah, there's a lot of crime, but there's also way more heart and culture here than they could ever try to pay for with all their money. Some things can't be bought, you know?"

I thought about this while Esmeralda went off to fetch me the robe.

Apparently, this was the "hood" part of Disney City that Belle claimed she lived just outside of. The rich people lived in Atlantica, and the school was in the nondescript suburban-looking part of town in between the two districts, or whatever they called the different sections. It actually made a little more sense that the gangs in Neverland would look like pirates. And that Peter Pan would be cavorting around out here on these streets.

When Esmeralda returned with the robe (a hideous, ratty green monstrosity that I reluctantly put on), I asked her, "Hey, uh, so are there any groups called 'the Lost Boys' around here?"

My question seemed to catch her off guard.

"Why do you ask that?"

"I'm just wondering is all."

She stared at me suspiciously. "Where would you even hear about them? You haven't heard about Neverland, but you've heard about the Lost Boys? Something doesn't gel."

"I've heard of Neverland, I just didn't know that's where I was. And I've seen the pirates, so I assumed that there's probably some Lost Boys running around too."

Even though it was just the two of us, Esmeralda looked around, before going right up to me and whispering, "Okay, see, _that _is exactly the kind of question that's gonna get you in trouble if Al or my uncle hear you ask it."

"Why?"

"You can't just ask about gangs without sounding like a cop or something."

"So they're a gang."

"Well, that's what _other _people call them," Esmeralda said, sounding a little frustrated. "They're just a crew of orphaned boys who _had_ nobody to look after them, but have found safety with each other. It's tough out here in Neverland. You need people watching your back. And I'll tell you another thing, they're a helluva lot better than the _Pirates_, trust me. At least the Lost Boys don't run around stabbing or raping innocent people. The Lost Boys don't hurt anybody but Pirates."

A little smile was on my face. "So they stay here, don't they?"

She looked nervous. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. I can tell by the way you talked about them. They hide out here, at the Court of Miracles, don't they? Probably staying in all these empty apartments you guys have access to."

"You really need to stop with this line of questioning before you piss off the wrong person," said Esmeralda, her face uneasy. "Nosy people don't last long around this neighborhood."

"Look, I'm not taking any sides here," I said. "You can tell that I'm obviously not tight with people like Frollo. I have more in common with you guys than I do with anybody else in this town."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well I'm not a real stickler for rules or laws, as you can probably tell by now," I said with a smile, scooting a little closer to her. "And I guess you could say I'm an orphan too."

She frowned, searching my face. "What do you mean, you could 'say' you're an orphan?"

Before I could answer, we heard the front door opening and several voices, both male and female.

"Esme, are you here?" Meg's voice called.

"Back here!" Esmeralda turned back to me and pointed, whispering, "We'll finish this conversation later."

I heard footsteps and then saw that they belonged to Meg, Jim, Quasimodo, and Mowgli. Quasi was carrying a big pot, and the other two boys had bowls and spoons. Meg, probably because she had done the cooking (or the heating up), had avoided having to carry anything.

"New Guy!" Jim exclaimed. "What's up? How you feeling?"

"I've been better," I said.

Meg looked around. "There's nowhere to sit in here."

"I don't think he can really get up right now," said Esmeralda, glancing at me. "He's still pretty weak."

"We can get some chairs out of the kitchen," said Jim.

Soon, they had set up a little eating area around me on the bed. There were only two chairs, which Jim and Meg occupied, while Esmeralda and Quasi sat on the bed next to me, and Mowgli unsurprisingly sat on the floor.

Jim quickly filled me in on how fast the tale of our exploits had spread through the school.

"You guys are all anyone could talk about," he said to me. "And you're pretty much already a legend, at this point."

"Great," I said uneasily. "Exactly what I want to be."

I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but signs pointed to no.

"Clopin got a call from Ms. Maleficent herself," Meg said, sounding a little awed at this information. "That's how you know it's a big deal."

Esmeralda's eyes narrowed. "He didn't say it was her who called. What'd she say?"

"She's anxious to have a face-to-face with all of us and our guardians, to settle this matter and 'put it behind us all.' So that means she probably called my mom. It actually makes me happy for once to think of all the cussing that had to come from her when she got that call. If there's one person in the world who deserves it…"

I thought about my lack of guardians and wondered whether that would complicate matters further for me.

"Is Frollo gonna be there?" Esmeralda asked.

Meg's nose crinkled in disgust. "Apparently. Since he _was _directly involved and all."

"Do _not _go," said Jim. "You couldn't pay me a million bucks to be in that room."

"You could pay _me_ a million bucks!" Mowgli exclaimed from the ground. "I'm not scared of no stupid Mr. Frollo or Ms. Malificent!"

"Shut up, Mowgli," said Meg impatiently. "So what do you think, Esme? Should we just drop out and never go back? I know that would send my mother over the moon. She loves saying 'I told you so.' Dumb bitch."

"I don't think we have a choice," said Esmeralda. "When do they want to have the meeting?"

"Before class. At like, 7, or something equally disgustingly early."

"Gross," said Jim.

"Have you heard Clopin say anything?" asked Esmeralda.

"I think he's willing," Meg replied. "Obviously, he doesn't want us dropping out. Not that he really cares about our educations or anything…we know he's just trying to make a few bucks out of-"

Esmeralda gave her a pointed glance and then looked at me, which shut Meg up pretty quickly. Obviously, I was annoyed by this.

"Sure, let's just exclude Shane because he doesn't feel alienated and alone enough," I grumbled.

"Hey, we risked a lot for you," Esmeralda said. "That doesn't mean you have to know all our business."

"Trust me," said Meg. "We're not that glamorous. Nothing interesting about us. Just boring old everyday run-of-the-mill high school seniors. You could find us at any other school in America."

Esmeralda rolled her eyes. "Don't oversell it, Meg."

"Yeah, anyway, I couldn't really talk to Clopin much about it. Aladdin is with him right now and they're both in a bad mood."

"About me?" I asked, not wanting to make any more enemies than I already had.

"No, no," Meg reassured me. "They're worried about other stuff, nothing to do with you or what happened today." She glanced at Esmeralda. "I think they're waiting for Fagin right now."

"Fagin's a dumb-ass," Mowgli commented.

"Hush," said Esmeralda. "Does this mean they're gonna be meeting with You-Know-Who tonight?"

"I think so," said Meg.

Quasimodo visibly shuddered and looked down at his soup.

"I'm not jealous," said Jim.

I let out a loud sigh. "I can just go into another room if my presence here is too inconvenient for you guys."

"No you can't," said Esmeralda. "You'll trip and everyone will see your Batman undies again."

Everyone but me started laughing.

"You're wearing _Batman _undies?" Mowgli asked me in disbelief. "How old are you, seven?"

"BATMAN IS A TRUE AMERICAN HERO!" I screamed, probably a little angrier than I should have. (What can I say, I'm _very _passionate about the Caped Crusader.)

"O-_kay,"_ said Esmeralda, patting me on the knee, "I think the patient is a little overstimulated right now. It might be time for him to take another nap."

"I'm not tired," I said.

"I gotta dip anyway," said Jim. "Mom should be finishing up right now so I better walk her home. Wanna come with, Quasi?"

Quasimodo looked at Esmeralda and then at me, and I got the impression that he wasn't altogether thrilled about the current arrangement of her acting as my nurse.

"Well, I was going to help Esmeralda keep Shane company-"

"No, go on, Quasi," said Esmeralda dismissively. "We'll be fine. Go help Sarah protect Jim. We know he needs it."

"Funny," said Jim. "I remember why I dated you now. It was that charming sense of humor."

Esmeralda leaned forward with her arms squeezed together, displaying her formidable cleavage. "Are you sure _that's _what it was?"

"Don't flatter yourself, toots," said Jim. "I've seen better."

"Ms. Yzma, right?"

"Ugh!"

"Don't lie, babe, I know you've always had a thing for her."

"I bet you guys have lots of _hot _sex," said Meg, jumping onboard the rag-on-Jim bandwagon. "Like, I bet you can't keep your _hands _off her. I bet she gets wet just _looking _at you."

"Gross!" exclaimed Mowgli.

"You're disgusting," said Jim, getting out of his chair. "Both of you. I'm ashamed that the two of you would act so un-ladylike when we have a guest here."

"Trust me," I said, "I've already gotten a taste of it."

Meg winked at me. "You _wish _you've had a taste."

"I'm getting out of here," said Mowgli. "You're both nasty."

"Good, go on," said Meg. "You're just an annoying little skid-mark anyway, Mowgli."

"Up yours, Meg!"

"I love how well you get along with my little cousin," said Esmeralda. "It's like you're practically siblings, you love each other so much."

"See you later, Shane," said Jim. "Try not to get torn to pieces without me here to distract them."

"Later," I said.

Quasimodo got up also. "Bye, Shane."

"Hey, Quasi," I said. "Thanks for getting me out of there. I didn't get a chance to say it earlier, but you're a stud. Thanks, man."

My thank-you seemed to catch him off-guard, and then made him smile shyly, which made me feel bad. Did nobody ever say nice things to the poor sap?

"Oh, it's…nothing," said Quasi, barely able to look me in the eye. "Don't mention it."

Somewhere inside me, I knew that Quasi was going to be the kind of person you could depend on for anything, no matter how much risk it would put him in. Some people are inherently kind and selfless and, though I hadn't had very much contact with him yet since he hung out with much more dominant personalities, I could tell that Quasimodo was just that type of guy. The kind who gives and asks for nothing in return.

I could only imagine how long his unrequited crush on Esmeralda had been going on for.

When he, Jim, and Mowgli left, Esmeralda and Meg decided to migrate me over to Esmeralda's place. (This was something I was very much in favor of.) I was able to walk through the hallway and down some stairs on my own power until we came to it.

The sun was already set by the time we got there, and I could hear the sounds of traffic and city-life outside. Car horns, dogs barking, tires squealing, sirens. Even a helicopter.

Esmeralda's place was small but very cool. Sexy even. She had a sort of retro vibe going and there were a lot of incense, candles, and lamps everywhere. It looked like a gypsy lived there, but there were still contemporary items indicating that a teenage girl was a resident as well.

"I like your place," I said.

"_Thank you," _said Esmeralda, and she seemed like she meant it.

"They _all _like your place," Meg cracked.

"Shut up, Meg." Esmeralda turned to me. "She's joking."

Meg nodded but when Esmeralda turned her back to set her things down, she looked at me and shook her head animatedly. I just smiled, not really worried about whether Esmeralda had a lot of other dudes cycling in and out. If she didn't, cool, she was still hot and I would try my darndest to get lucky. If she _did, _well then that only helped my chances.

I vaguely wondered what types of STD's they had in this magical world of Disney.

When we were in the main room, Esmeralda crossed her arms and looked at me.

"Now the question is, what to do with you?"

"Well, you only have one bedroom," said Meg, winking at me.

"I know that, Meg. But do I feel bad if I make him sleep on the couch, in his state?"

Meg shrugged. "Your couch is pretty comfortable. Al and I have fallen asleep on it plenty of times. And, of course, used it for other things."

"I prefer the bed then," I said quickly.

Meg snickered. "_Esmeralda's _bed? If you're worried about the _couch-"_

"Will you _shut up?" _Esmeralda asked, shoving her. "I don't even sleep around. You're quadruple the slut I am."

"Am not!"

"Actually," I said. "While you ladies are working…whatever _this_ is out, would it be okay if I took a shower?"

"He wants to use your _shower," _Meg said, quite unhelpfully.

Esmeralda sighed. "We already scrubbed you pretty good, but all right. Come this way."

Meg smacked my robed ass as I followed her and then winked at me again when I reacted. But I wasn't sure if she was really helping my cause more with her antics, or cockblocking by hitting us both over the head with it.

Esmeralda's bathroom also had a bunch of candles in it, as well as an array of different soaps, salts, and other items that did God knows what. It was rather exotic, at least to a boy like me. My shower at home had nothing but a washcloth, body wash gel, and shampoo in it. I couldn't even imagine what all her stuff was for.

"Your bathroom is quite intimidating," I said. "I'm scared I'm gonna light myself on fire."

"Just don't touch anything that you don't have to," she said. "There are the water nozzles. They're pretty self-explanatory." She paused and said, "You don't…need any help, do you?"

I grinned widely at her and she instinctively pushed me (though thankfully not hard enough to knock me over, which wouldn't be difficult at the moment.)

"I'm serious! Stop being sleazy!"

"Yes, I'm fine," I said. "I can get in the shower by myself, and give you and Meg plenty of time to gossip about me in the other room."

Esmeralda smiled at me as she went to the door. "I won't try to deny it."

I managed to survive the showering process, and felt a lot better afterwards. Hot showers almost always did the trick for me back home and I was grateful to get the chance to take my first conscious one since I had arrived to this realm.

When I had toweled myself off and gotten back into the tattered old robe and the only pair of underwear I had available, I went back out to the living room.

Nobody was there.

Esmeralda came walking out of her bedroom behind me.

"Where's Meg?" I asked.

"She went back to her place. I guess Al and my uncle are going out to conduct some business tonight, so she wanted to see him off. He gets stressed out sometimes, as you've probably already seen."

"Oh," I said, feeling just a wee bit awkward all of a sudden. "So, uh, where-"

"Come with me," Esmeralda said abruptly. "This way."

I slowly followed her back into her bedroom. It was mostly purple and only slightly messy, with a few articles of clothing and some shoes lying around, but she didn't seem embarrassed, which I found attractive. Just from being there at all made me unable to keep from but smiling gleefully at her.

Unfortunately, she rolled her eyes at me.

"Don't get too excited. I'm gonna let you sleep in my bed tonight because you're still recovering, but _I'm_ going to be on the couch."

"The couch?" I questioned. "That's no fun. Why don't you-"

"If you harass me," Esmeralda warned me with a flirtatious smile, "I will banish _you _to the couch and I'll sleep in here."

I sighed. "Whatever. Wanna tuck me in at least?"

She shook her head, but she was smiling. "Oh, all right."

I took off my robe, unable to resist winking seductively at her (which just made her laugh.) Undeterred, I climbed into her bed and I just have to say it was one of the most comfortable beds I have ever been on. The sheets and comforter were all soft and purple and I felt like I could fall asleep immediately if I just closed my eyes for a moment. Plus, it smelled wonderful. I'm not even really sure what scent it was, but it was definitely feminine and something about it made me extra sleepy.

Esmeralda leaned over me to grab some of her extra pillows to put on the ground, and it took all of my self-control not to reach up and grab _her _pillows, if you know what I mean. (Insert Rowan Atkinson meme face here.)

But I refrained, and after she had put her stuff where she wanted it, she sat on the edge of the bed next to me and fluffed up a pillow for me to lean back on.

"Your bed is the most incredible bed I've ever been in," I said, not even really lying.

"It is pretty great, isn't it?" she asked, smiling from where she sat with maybe a foot and a half of space between us.

"I don't know if it's the bed or if I'm just super tired. Or maybe I have a concussion and if I fall asleep I'll die. You might need to keep a closer eye on me to make sure I don't fall asleep and die. I can think of some activities…"

I thought she might hold true to her threat and send me to the couch, but fortunately she didn't.

"Huh," she commented after a moment. "I didn't notice you ever hit your head. I saw you throw up, though. All over the place. And boy, did you ever cry!"

I glared at her. "It's called _tear _gas. It's literally impossible not to cry."

"It's okay to cry, Shane. I don't judge. It's good for boys to be in touch with their feminine sides. Maybe you could teach all the tough guys at school how to be more sensitive."

"I'm not in touch with my feminine side!"

"Sure you are. I mean, what kind of boy cries in front of the whole classroom and needs a girl to rescue him?"

This was not going well. I started sulking.

"That's a low blow. I thought I was gonna die."

Esmeralda grinned broadly and put her arms around my shoulders. (Note to self: your best bet may be to try and get laid out of pity.)

"I'm just kidding!" she said, trying not to laugh. "Don't start crying again!"

"I'm not crying!"

She let go of me and got control of her laughter. "I know, I know. You were incredibly brave today. Really. That's why I helped you."

"You're really coming under fire for that, aren't you?"

"I don't care," she said. "Frollo doesn't scare me. He's just a big, creepy old bully. If he thinks he can intimidate me into trembling with fear every time he looks my way, just like everyone else, then his wrinkly ass has got another thing coming."

"You are one bad-ass bitch," I said, "with all due respect."

"Why thank you," she said. "And might I add, respectfully, that you too are one bad-ass bitch."

"I hate you."

"Aww, don't hate me, hon. I'm just trying to engage in pleasant banter."

"Is that what you call flirting?"

"Is that what this is?"

"You tell me."

"I don't know. Only one of us is naked."

"You should fix that," I said, keeping the flow going with as charming a smile as I could muster.

A seductive look entered her emerald eyes.

"You're right," she purred. "I think I will."

My heart started to pound. This might be it! Sexual conquest number one! And with maybe the hottest girl here, and only on my second night!

Jim was right! I _was _a legend!

I prayed my body was recovered enough to cooperate. (It seemed to be telling me that it was, judging from certain unintentional anatomical responses.)

Still staring at me with those ridiculous green eyes, Esmeralda started to lean in close to my face. I started to lean in too, until we were mere inches apart. I closed my eyes…

…and got a face full of T-shirt.

I opened my eyes in confusion. Esmeralda was grinning and holding a little white tank top in her hand that she had probably grabbed off of the ground.

"Put this on so that there's not only one of us who's naked," she said to me.

I snatched it out of her hands, really irritated now.

"You are so clever," I grumbled. "So very clever. You got me good, oh yes you did."

She just laughed. "You sure are frisky for somebody who was in horrible pain not that long ago."

I looked at the shirt. "I should actually put this on right now and stretch it out so you can't ever wear it again."

"Go ahead!" she said. "I think it'll be a really flattering top on you. It'll really accentuate your bust line. I _have_ to ask, are those things _real?"_

I glared at her. "Are yours?"

She ran her fingers lightly over her ample chest, and I became even more grateful that there was a blanket covering my lower body. "All natural and home grown. Got em from my mama. The only things she ever gave me that I'm grateful for."

I guess I was staring because she suddenly crossed her arms around herself and said, "Excuse me, sir! You're making me blush! Please remember your manners!"

"I doubt you've ever been embarrassed in your whole life," I said. "Not looking like that."

"Oh, I don't know. Everyone has awkward stages. I got boobs when I was, like, twelve. That was horrible. Everybody was in training bras and I had bigger tits than the saleswoman."

"Your awkward stage is something most girls would aspire to reach in their primes."

Esmeralda shrugged. "I guess. I don't really care for the back pain though. That's why I make sure to stretch a lot."

She grabbed her leg and effortlessly pulled it up behind her head, grinning at me.

"Oh my god…" I moaned. "That's just not fair."

"It's not that difficult, I bet you could do it too if you practiced enough. Yoga is your friend, babe."

"That's not what I mean and you know it," I said.

She was playing dumb. "I_'_m sorry, I just don't understand your discomfort…?"

She continued to stretch provocatively, clearly enjoying my agony.

"Okay, _how _do you do this right next to me and expect me to keep my hands off?" I asked. "Seriously. This is cruel and unusual punishment."

Esmeralda let go of her leg and suddenly leaned close to me, a demure smile appearing on her face, which had thus far been mostly grinning at me in little more than amusement.

"I just enjoy," she said softly, "seeing how long you can resist."

And just like that, the mood had changed. There she was, leaning over me in the dimmed light, her lustrous black hair cascading over her smooth shoulders, and falling around her pretty, outstretched neck like a sable hood. Her chin was pointed out towards me, her full lips half-parted in the tiniest imitation of a smile, her eyes also half open, but staring heavily out at me, daring me to move. And even though it was dark in the room, and my eyes were damaged (or perhaps _because_ they were damaged), I thought I could see the electricity of green emeralds spilling out, entrancing me in the heavily perfumed air and beckoning me forward, and closer, and into the soft welcome.

I'm not sure I even felt my own body moving forward for the kiss.

But I felt her lips, and they were real enough to convince me it wasn't just my imagination.

**{Oh snap! Is this story about to graduate from a 'T' to an 'M' rating? I must say, I'm not sure yet. What do you guys want? Haha let me know.**

**I know this chapter was HUGE so hopefully it's not too much for you guys to digest. We got to meet a couple new characters (Peter Pan, what-what) and got a small glimpse of a very important location for the story, the Court of Miracles, as well as the Neverland district, where we'll be spending a lot of time (when we're not at the school.) **

**Thanks for all the feedback so far and I'm happy to tell you guys that all the mentioned suggestions for the next diary entry are actually in the works. I'm still deciding if each entry should be its own chapter or if I should split a chapter into two different character entries, giving you guys more to read a little quicker. Keep letting me know who you want to hear from! Because the next chapter is a diary entry for sure (of ALL the times to break from Shane's story, I pick now, right? Annoying, I know haha), and I know who it's from, I'm just deciding whether to add another person's in the same chapter. **

**One character I want to touch on briefly is Frollo, because I got several requests to see his perspective. I am happy to inform you guys that, though he won't be getting a "diary" chapter per se, he will get his own chapter coming up very soon. I think you guys will dig it a lot. It's already been written in the 3****rd**** person POV (a first for this story) and in a very different voice than Shane's narration so far. (Hooray for writing versatility.) It's creepy but I think it's also a really nice glimpse into Frollo's twisted mind. Excited for you guys to read it.**

**Anyway, if you guys are good about reviewing, I'll upload the diary chapter soon (because it's pretty much written already, or one of them is at least.) I appreciate all the feedback, even flames (as long as they're colorful and creative.) Hope to hear your thoughts! Thanks!}**


	20. Chapter 19: Aladdin's Journal

**Chapter Nineteen: Aladdin's Journal**

My whole life, I've always had to stay one jump ahead.

One jump ahead of my teachers, because from the beginning, they've all hated teaching me. Don't tell me every student gets the same treatment, because they don't. Teachers are always trying to catch me cutting corners and cheating, as though I'm ever gonna be obvious about it. (Good luck with that, assholes.)

One jump ahead of my classmates, because all they care about is fitting in with the trends and the status quo, so if you stand out in any way, get ready for the rumors. The whispering. The disapproving stares. Girls like Jasmine Ghali who look at you like you're gonna be lurking in dark alleys, just waiting for them to pass by so you can snatch their purse or worse. On the streets, I can't trust police any more than I can trust the common criminal scumbags…of which I guess I'm one too.

Even my so-called friends and family. They always need me to do something for them. Something that's usually dangerous. I've never been able to just do what I want to do, or have a normal childhood without constantly having to risk capture and incarceration. As a kid, I never knew if this would be the night the police would come knocking on the door to take my dad away because he had violated his parole again. Heard of the three strike rule? I think he committed about twenty. I guess that meant he was a good foul ball hitter in life, a life that he was always clinging to, staying just barely ahead of the axe as it was about to come down on his neck.

Eventually, though, he couldn't jump out of the way fast enough. Eventually, it caught up to him. Chop. Now he's locked up for three lifetimes, and I'm stuck here as the heir apparent wondering if I've inherited all of his bad traits. Stuck here wondering if I can stay one jump ahead as the sky falls down around me…if I can avoid it longer than he did.

I don't have a choice. If I don't keep that one step ahead of the world that wants nothing more than to see me fail, I go down just like he did, and I never amount to anything. Never get out of this town. Never move on beyond this dead-end life of crime and non-achievement. Never get out there and meet other people, maybe find the girl who's right for me because we connect on something deeper than a physical level, and not just because we come from the same hood. Never go out into the world and prove to all of the doubters, all the people who have ever turned their noses down at me, that I'm more than what I appear to be. That deep down, below all the crap that my environment has forced me to adapt to, there's something really strong and unique separating me from the rest.

I know I have more to offer than what this life has relegated me to.

But every day I wake up and I know that nothing has changed, that nothing's gonna ever change unless I suddenly grow a backbone and tell Clopin that I want out of all this. This life, this pressure, these risks, the guilt of being exactly what everybody assumes that I am. A scumbag. A loser. A nobody. And who knows how Clopin will respond to that? He might be my uncle, but I don't know what he'd do if he thought I was trying to abandon our "family."

It's funny how quickly friends can become enemies out on these streets.

So I always gotta stay one jump ahead.

But I'm getting tired of it.

And it really sucks because it's only the beginning of the school year and I'm already feeling like I'm not gonna be able to make it through. I'm way more stressed out than anybody my age should have to be, and none of it even has to do with any academic crap. I had to give up worrying about my grades years ago. Nobody in my family ever went to college, so they've never encouraged me to try and work for that route. It's a nice dream, though. Going away from home to learn about life and knowledge in a place where nobody has to know who you are in the outside world, or where you're from. Somewhere you can be free to develop into whatever you want to be.

Freedom is beautiful.

But that's not my reality.

I already had a lot on my plate and then all this shit happened today in Ethics class with Frollo and the new guy Shane. And suddenly, all because of Esmeralda's bleeding heart or the lady boner she probably has for him, shit went down and now I've found myself and the rest of my Outcast crew caught up in the middle of it.

Obviously, this is the last thing we need.

Don't get me wrong. Shane seems like a pretty good guy. At least, I liked him at first. He's different than most of the rest of the clowns that go to our school. I can't really peg exactly why, but he is. He reminds me of our crew, those of us who don't automatically listen to people in authority just because they have a badge or a title. At the very least, I thought he might be good for buying a few dime-bags here and there throughout the coming year. I don't know about that now.

I mean, I like that he didn't back down to Frollo, who I probably hate more than anybody else at Disney High other than that dirty snake of a guidance counselor Mr. Jafar. _There _are two guys I really hope get hit by a bus one day soon.

Still, there's _something_ that makes me uneasy about Shane. Something is off about him, this thing I can't really put my finger on. Where did he come from? Who was he before he got here? He talks funny sometimes, like he knows stuff that we don't, but then at other times he seems like the most clueless guy at school. Almost like a foreign exchange student except for that he sounds completely American. I dunno. It just doesn't sit right with me.

But now because he got himself mixed up with Mr. Triton's perfect daughters, the administrators seem to be gunning for him. I feel for the guy, because I know what that's like, but part of me wants to say, "Tough shit, bro. Better you than me." I can't afford to have that kind of heat on me and my various operations, but now he's spending the night at the Court of Miracles, and we still don't know shit about him. There are people on the street I've met who have tried to get invited into our fortress for years (I call it a fortress because really, that's what it is when you think about it), and this random dude pops up out of nowhere and suddenly we're putting him up for the night and taking care of him like he's one of _us?_

That's just asking for trouble, in my opinion.

I'll admit it…I wanted him to succeed in the fucked up task he was forced to do because Frollo's an evil piece of shit, and anybody who can stand up and stick it to a guy like that is okay in my book. And he somehow actually seemed to be making some progress when he got blasted with that crazy pepper spray by Gaston (another asshole who I hope will go chase his ball into traffic one day), but then Frollo decided he was getting too close to succeeding, so he told Gaston to hit him with the stuff a third time. I knew Shane was toast at that point, and part of me wanted to do something, but it was just too damn risky. I have to think about more than just myself, you know? I have to be smart, smarter than my dad ever was, which bit him in the end.

And then, of course, that wonderful cousin of mine decided she couldn't bear to watch such a horrible thing happen, even though we've seen plenty worse on the streets, because that's just how she is. She was like that when Quasimodo was getting beat up and bullied our freshman year, and she's still like that now whenever she thinks someone's not getting a fair shake. She's a real sucker for underdogs (maybe literally, I sometimes suspect, but I shouldn't talk about my cousin that way), so I shouldn't have been surprised that she ran to go take the canister from Gaston.

This is where it went bad. Shane managed to get the bag from Belle Delacroix and Meg and I went over to help him get to the nurse's office. (Any chance I can get to ditch class, I'll take, especially when it's _that _one.) Then Frollo got pissed at us and I'm not really sure how things escalated so much, but Esmeralda pointed the canister at his face and shit got real.

Thank Disney she didn't spray him with it, but threatening a teacher? And of all teachers, Frollo? That's like a death wish for all of us, which is exactly what I'm talking about when it comes to being smart and not taking stupid risks. When this guy was a judge, it always seemed like defendants in his courts got sentenced to extremely harsh penalties. I don't think anybody in the whole province has ever sentenced more people to death during their time as judge, and most of those guys work as judges until they die. And in all of Disney City, what district do you think Frollo seemed to focus on the most? Where do you think most of the poor bastards unlucky enough to wind up in his court hailed from?

Neverland, of course.

Which brings us to the other interesting tidbit I've found myself thinking about a lot the last two days. Who do you think was the judge who ultimately sentenced my father to a lifetime imprisonment that he could never parole out of? The one guy to finally ensure that Cassim Ababwa would never again walk the streets, nor ever again see his wife or only son without a partition separating them for the rest of his miserable days?

Do I even have to say it?

The thing about that is, I can't even fully blame Frollo anymore. Yeah, the sentence was overly harsh, because he's a corrupt son of a bitch, but my dad knew what he was risking every night that he went out and worked for the people he worked for. People who rejoice in crime even though this country, and especially our province, strike down with a so-called righteous fury on any of the riff-raff living on the outskirts of society. They can't allow us to be a blight on this safe and happy world Walt Disney tried to create in his wake. They don't want to afford us opportunities to escape from the holes we wallow in, but for those of us who get desperate enough to turn to crime, well there's a magical 6 by 8 cell waiting for _you_, my friend, _and_ for your kids when they follow in your footsteps.

Damn it. I get so conflicted thinking about my dad. Sometimes I think it's all his fault, and that he should have done more to try and get us out of here. But the older I get, the more I see how difficult it is to escape from a life that digs its claws into your spine and never releases. My dad may have been a scumbag, at least according to the black-and-white ideals our country stands for, but you can't deny that he was at least a family man. He didn't want to turn his back on me, my mom, or her brother Clopin, who he was best friends with coming up out here until he fell for my mom. I think that was weird for them but Clopin says that when he thought about it, there was nobody he trusted more to take care of his sister. It's too bad their youngest sister Paquette was never really able to find anyone to settle down with. She was a wild one, they say, a trait Esmeralda may have inherited.

Neither of us may have our parents in our lives anymore but it's crazy how much we're starting to resemble them. Makes me wonder if there's such thing as free will, or if our fates are all written in the stars…that nothing we do, no matter how hard we try, will allow us to escape the same kind of violent and tragic ends that claimed our parents.

All because of where we come from. All because we're poor.

I don't know why I'm writing this right now. I think it's because I'm scared that I'm getting pulled into a situation that I'm not going to be able to jump away from. I don't have any kids, or any kind of legacy to pass on, so I guess I want to write things down so that a few scraps of paper will prove that I ever lived at all.

Just a distraction until somebody like Frollo puts the noose around my neck too.

Today, Fagin came back from Madame Medusa's Pawn Shop not having really made much of anything, which isn't a surprise, but he really needs to start contributing soon or there's gonna be problems. We shouldn't really be expecting much of him because he's the kind of guy who's always gonna be small-time no matter what, that's just his mentality, but I know Clopin wants him to step up on his side projects because we have Sykes breathing down our necks.

Sykes.

I had to go see him tonight. About that special operation he's got me running at school, the one that makes me nervous. I really shouldn't even be writing this but it's because I don't trust Sykes for shit, and I want someone to be able to find this and know who's responsible if it all goes south.

Someone who can know that I was more than just the crimes I'll inevitably get convicted for. That I was somebody who wished for more.

I've known for a while now that a lot of the work we do is for Sykes. My father worked for him too, which gives you a clue of just how not excited I am to be another one of his pawns. He's a powerful man, a dangerous guy who likes operating out of the shadows, but I know he's not the top dog. He runs a shipping agency out of the harbor, but he's no more a simple shipyard agent than I am a mere high school student. Sykes has got serious mob ties, along with his own underworld enterprise that I think we're a major part of, but I suspect even he answers to someone.

Everybody answers to someone, it seems. And if you ever try to get to the bottom of things, you'll find yourself tangled up in a web of lies and violence that it's hard to escape from. It's not good for your health to question the pecking order, so I do what Clopin tells me to do, and a lot of the time, Clopin gets his orders from Sykes.

I know Clopin doesn't like him. But we couldn't run the Court of Miracles like we do without the flexibility Sykes gives us. He owns the whole property after all.

But he doesn't want to be associated with the Court, so he almost never comes down to it in person, which doesn't bother me too much. Except for the fact that every time I have to go to the docks, I end up wondering if I'm gonna end the night wearing cement shoes at the bottom of the river.

This was one of those nights.

While most of the crew at home was obliviously doing their own thing or distracted with our new guest, I had to prepare for my meeting with Sykes. I'm glad Clopin came with me, but it tells you something that he always packs a gun on these nights. It's the only gun any of us have in the whole Court but even that's enough to get any of us twenty-five years minimum in the provincial penitentiary if we're caught with it, what with the crazy-strict gun laws this country has.

I can't even imagine there was a time when ordinary citizens were allowed to own guns, but it used to be in the Constitution, or so my history teachers have told us. Of course, I was never alive for the Second Amendment, but I imagine it would make Neverland an even wilder place than it is. The Pirates are bad enough now when they mostly use clubs, knives, and swords. Whenever they get their grubby hands on a gun, it's bad news for everyone. That's pretty much the only time the police bother about any of us, though, is when shots are fired. That gets them all down here investigating. Not to save any lives. They just don't like anyone else having access to firearms.

The fact that I'm writing this right now is proof that I survived another trip to the docks, but I can already tell I'm not gonna get much sleep tonight.

So here's how it all went:

Clopin and I leave in his car at around 9 or 9:30. We have to pass through Pirate territory, but we can see a group of them going after some stupid, most likely drunk girls who should have known better than to be out alone at night, so the Pirates leave us alone. Another sad thing in which I wish I could intervene and prevent, but I'll probably never be the hero I sometimes dream I could be.

Street rats can't be heroes. Heroes always end up being guys like Hercules.

Which conveniently brings me to the job Sykes has me working.

Clopin and I go into his shipping warehouse, ride the old elevator down to the bottom level and make that long walk into his office.

Sykes is sitting in his office, smoking a cigar with his feet up. In front of his desk are his twin Dobermans Roscoe and DeSoto, two very mean and scary animals. I know for a fact that he's used them to maul multiple people who got on his bad side, and every time I'm around them, I can see the cruel hunger in their eyes.

As for Sykes, I've never seen him not wearing a slick-looking suit and a tie with his curly gray hair greased and his shoes polished. He likes to look like he's not a common thug like the rest of us because he puts up the front that he's a respectable, legitimate businessman, but it's not hard to see what a load of crap that is.

Just look at him and you see that he's built for violence. Sykes is huge. Granted, he's about 50 and only a little taller than average, but he's almost inhumanly wide. His neck is like a tree trunk and his hands seem bigger than my head. His fingers are like Vienna sausages. I think he used to be a power lifter in his younger days who's let himself go a little bit in recent years (he's got a pretty big gut on him), but he's still barrel chested and very strong.

"Take a seat, gentlemen," he says in that raspy smoker's voice of his.

So we sit. The two dogs look up at me and growl softly.

"Easy, boys," says Sykes. "Please, forgive Roscoe and DeSoto. They have short memories. Unlike me. Just shows how long it's been since you've been to visit us, Al. They don't hardly recognize you anymore."

He's quiet, like he's waiting for me to say anything, but what is there for me to say? _'I missed you, Sykes. Please tell me what more dangerous jobs you can give me so that I can take the blame for one of your operations and go down like my dad did?'_

"How's your father?" Sykes asks me after I don't respond.

Even though he always asks that, for some reason this time it really grinds my gears. Sykes has never visited my dad once in all the years he's been locked up after taking the fall for a shipment of drugs that Sykes was having imported. He can't be seen in conjunction with convicted felons. Because he's an 'upstanding citizen.'

I'll admit, I don't visit my dad very much either but it's because I can't help but be angry at him for abandoning us. He could have ratted out Sykes in exchange for a lighter sentence, and maybe he'd still be with me. It wouldn't have changed Mom getting sick but I know she had too much of a broken heart to fight it much at the end. She knew her husband was locked away forever. She just gave in. I guess I wasn't enough for her to try and live for.

But if Dad was around, maybe that would have been enough for her to somehow get better.

No point in crying over what's gone and lost, though. Have to focus. Have to be smart.

And stay one jump ahead.

Deep down, below all the bitterness and resentment I've cultivated over the years, I know that my dad didn't rat Sykes out in exchange for leniency because that would mean the death of me, Mom, and probably Clopin and the rest of our broken family. (Of course, Mom was already sick by then anyway, which was why Dad was working so much more often, and on riskier and riskier jobs. Hospital bills don't pay for themselves, especially when you're too poor to afford health insurance.)

So, obviously, I don't run up and try to strangle Sykes after he asks about my father, not that I could have even fit my hands around his fat neck if I tried.

Instead, I say, "He's still in prison, an hour away, where he'll be every day until he dies. In case you forgot."

Sykes actually nods like he sympathizes with his plight, but I know there's not a sympathetic bone in his whole body.

"A damn shame," he says. "Your father was good man…a good father and a loyal soldier. He knew when to keep his mouth shut, and what not to say…a trait I sincerely hope he passed onto you…"

In Sykes speech, that's a warning that I better not give him any more lip or I may find myself swimming with the fishes, or whatever clichéd phrase two-bit gangsters like him still use.

So I shut up, which pleases Sykes. He goes on to say, "I promised Cassim I'd take care of his family, of course, because we go so far back, which reminds me. How are you kids doing on back-to-school clothes, huh? You all go to a good school, a much better one than I ever went to. We need you lookin' sharp, make your old man proud."

I don't want any of Sykes' handouts, but I know that I'm not the only one who can stand to benefit from some extra money being sent our way. Esmeralda and Meg would definitely appreciate getting the change to go buy some more outfits, and Mowgli especially could use some new duds. He's growing more and more every day, it seems, and all his clothes are always ripped and dirty because he's still like a little kid playing in the streets all the time. I swear, there's not a single stray animal he met that he didn't try to bring home to the Court. He's like Fagin that way.

"We haven't been back to school shopping for clothes," I say. "Money's been kinda tight, but we could definitely use some more clothes, especially Mowgli."

"We're doing okay for ourselves," says Clopin, who, as Mowgli's father, has a little more pride than me when it comes to this topic. But he hardly pays attention to Mowgli, so I don't feel bad for speaking up in the best interest of his son.

"Now, now, Clopin," says Sykes, "you can't be afraid to take a little charity now and then. If Uncle Sykes wants to give the kiddies some shopping money, you shouldn't deprive him of that little joy."

"Of course not, Sykes," responds my uncle. "We appreciate everything you give us."

"I know you do," says Sykes, pulling open one of his drawers and then tossing me a couple stacks of bills. I don't count them, but I know there's a lot there. "Which is why I like to do it. Go take everyone to get some new clothes, Al. Maybe put the young one in a suit. He's old enough now. The little monkey always runs around looking homeless, no offense, Cloppy, old boy."

I know this is deeply offensive to Clopin, but he's smart enough to bite his tongue.

"Thank you, Sykes," I mutter, pocketing the cash and hating myself for doing it.

"Always happy to be Santa Claus for you kids," says Sykes. "But now that I've done something for you, we need to talk about what you're doing for me."

With Sykes, it always ends up being about what you can do for him.

"The Hercules boy," says Sykes. "He made some big strides last year. I know a lot of that is thanks to you, ain't it, Al?"

"Actually, it's thanks to you," I say. "I just sold him what you told me to sell him. I think we hit him at the perfect time. He was right in the middle of a natural growth spurt, and that paired with the juice turned him into a tank."

Sykes stares at me. "I appreciate you trying to give credit where credit's due, but really, you should take the bow for this one. Really, everything doesn't have to find its back to old Uncle Sykes, does it? I've taught you better than that."

"No, sir," I say, hating the stupid little games he plays. Of course I didn't tell Hercules where I got the steroids from. I'm not suicidal, and even if I was, I wouldn't want my loved ones to have to pay for my stupidity when Sykes inevitably came after them. "It was my idea…I just get my inspiration from you, not that I would ever admit that to anyone else."

"Always good to be little selfish," Sykes says, nodding. "A few white lies never hurt nobody." He even throws a little wink in for good measure, which makes me want to barf. But I don't.

"What is it that you brought us over here for?" Clopin asks. He's just as anxious as I am to get out of there, and he's known Sykes for twice as long as I have.

"That's a great question," says Sykes, standing up with all of his formidable girth. He walks over to a cabinet and opens it. Inside is a whole multitude of things that would get us all locked up until the apocalypse, but he retrieves a little square zipped up bag. It looks like it's the type of insulated material that keeps things inside cold if you need it to.

He walks over to me and then drops the little black cube into my lap.

"This is what we want to work the Hercules kid up to."

"The season's about to start," I say. "Their first game's on Friday."

"Yes, this I know," says Sykes in a bored voice.

Thinking he doesn't understand what I'm saying, I continue, "Herc just finished a cycle a couple weeks ago. So he's not gonna need another dosage for, like, another six months or something. The season will be long over by then."

"This is different than that junk," he says impatiently. "All that crap was just to work him up to this right here."

I don't unzip the bag, but I look at it and ask, "What is it?"

"It also is a 'performance enhancer,' you could say."

"How does it work?"

"Same way as the other stuff. But it'll feel much better. And it's very unique, so he doesn't have to worry about random drug testing picking it up. It's much too sophisticated for high school testing equipment to trace."

"And what, it'll make him even stronger than he already is?"

"Not just that," answers Sykes. "It'll give him a change in attitude. It'll make him _ferocious, _unstoppable, resistant to pain. Complete the transformation to the apex predator he should already be."

"So it's like a concentrated dosage of roid rage?" I ask, skeptical.

Sykes looks irritated. "It's a unique concentration of custom developed performance and strength enhancers. It has major and immediate effects. He will appreciate them."

"Why do we care so much about making him so strong anyway?" I ask. "Are you betting on the games or something? Because he's already bigger, faster, and stronger than pretty much everyone else. We're favored to go undefeated, but I'm sure you already know that."

Clopin shoots me a warning glance, but it's too late. Sykes is already looming over me like a very angry bull, steam practically snorting out of his nostrils and everything.

"_Why _is not a concern of yours!" he snarls at me. "The only questions you should be asking are 'How do I get him to take it, and how soon?'"

"Okay," I say. "What are the answers?"

"Get him to take a vial a week," he says, "until he runs out. He doesn't need any more than that."

"What about the first question?"

"I don't care how you convince him to do it," Sykes says. "But you need to convince him. It's very important that he does. We have a lot riding on this, _all_ of us."

I have no idea what he means by that, or why he cares so much about Herc, who was only an average athlete at our school up to last year, when I started selling to him at Sykes' encouragement. But it seems like he's maintained an investment in Herc's performance all the time since then. It's not even like we've made all that much money off of the steroids. Under Sykes' orders, I sold them to Herc at an under market value price, and I'm not supposed to expand our customer base by telling or selling to anybody else on the team. Herc has kept his mouth zipped too, as far as I know. And like I already said, he doesn't even have any idea who Sykes is.

"It might be difficult getting Herc to take this stuff," I say. "His confidence is already through the roof. I think he's gonna feel like he doesn't even need it."

"He needs it."

"But how do I convince _him _of that? He's already a star player."

"You're buddies with him now, aren't you? He'll listen to you."

"I don't know," I say. "I don't think he really likes me much, to be honest. I think he's ashamed of buying the steroids from me. From everything I've gathered, I feel like he'd rather see how he does without any PED's. But he got on a cycle through all of spring and the summer. I just don't know how I'll convince him to take something else so soon after. I mean, it can't be very healthy."

Sykes slams his huge fist on his table, causing both of his dogs to look up sharply. Clopin and I both cringe at the noise even though we're long used to Sykes' violent outbursts.

"We are not concerned about his _health!_" he yells at me. "I don't give a flying _fuck _how you convince him, but you better figure it out! Use one of the girls for shit's sake, have your cousin or your little girlfriend suck his shrunken cock if that's what it takes!" Then he gets in my face and hisses, "But make no mistake about it, Al, you _better _get him to do it. Or else I am going to have a very, very big problem. And when I have a problem, you all have a problem. You, your family, your whole fucking building of rejects." His eyes never straying from mine, he adds, "You got that, Clopin?"

"We understand," Clopin says. "Al will get him to take the stuff. Don't worry."

"Good," Sykes says, still glaring at me. "I expect you to keep me updated on your progress. None of this no showing up around here for months at a time bullshit. This is an extremely important operation, and I will not let anyone screw it up. Do we have an understanding?"

I can barely look at him in the eye because of my hatred, but I manage to say, "We have an understanding."

Sykes relaxes and goes back to his chair with his cigar, reclining back again.

"Good," he says. "That's what I like to hear. I always know I can depend on you, Al, just like your old man. You both know how to follow orders, no matter where they lead you. Right up to the end."

It feels like a long car ride home.

Now I'm back in my room, trying to make myself sleepy by writing about my troubles, knowing that even if I manage to fool my body into falling asleep, I have to wake up early to go deal with the stupid Frollo situation in the morning, all while trying to figure out how I'm going to approach Herc and convince him to buy some more mysterious vials to inject his body with. That is, if I'm not expelled for what happened yesterday, a little something that you can bet I neglected to tell Sykes about.

It's weird, though. He always seems to know what's been going on at Disney High School. I don't know how he does. Clopin hardly knows anything, and he's the legal guardian for me, Esmeralda, and Mowgli, as well as an unofficial guardian for Meg, Quasi, and Tarzan. But Sykes always seems to have an inside track on the latest developments.

So I don't know what to expect for the immediate future. I hope I'm not expelled, but if I am, maybe that will get me off the hook. Knowing Sykes, it probably won't.

Meg, of course, is asleep. She says that she worries about me and all that, but she's usually asleep by the time I get back from these meetings with Sykes, if she's even back at our apartment. I have no idea what she wants in life. I know how much she resents her loser of a mom, but I can never get an inkling of what she's hoping for out of her future. I don't know how much she includes me in her plans, and to be honest, I'm not sure how much I include her in mine.

I just know I want to get out of here, at any cost. I think Jim and Quasi are the same way, although Quasi might be too scared to ever do anything about it. Ever since he started playing sports, none of us get to see enough of Tarzan to know what he's ever thinking, and I think Mowgli is too young to worry too much about such things. At least I hope he is. I don't want him to grow up like me, with the same bullshit and pressures.

It's a shitty life, no question, but amazingly, my best friend and my cousin don't even want out of it.

For some reason I'll never understand, Peter loves it in the Neverland District. He positively adores it. He loves the unpredictability and the chaos, the freedom he thinks it allows him, the little gang of followers he's been expanding the past few years. I think he thinks of himself as some symbol of anarchy, almost like a junior Rob Hoodlum. Sometimes, I really think he wants to be here until he dies.

As for Esmeralda, she doesn't like a lot of the bad things here, but I feel like she'd rather stay and work for the changes that will never come rather than run away from it all like I want to. I don't have any love for this city, especially not the neighborhood I've had to grow up in, because of all the things it's taken from me.

This whole city is a prison, as far as I'm concerned.

I wish that I could just jump one last time. Or better yet, fly. Peter's always talking about flying away from 'grown-up problems' (I guess always being high will make you feel like that's exactly what you're doing), but that's one abstract thing he talks about that I wish I could do literally.

Just grab my friends and family and leave everything behind. Leave Sykes and Frollo and the Pirates and police and drugs and poverty and girls who won't give you a chance and everything. Just fly away until we reached some perfect place where we'd all have the same chances to succeed and accomplish our dreams.

But such places don't exist.

So tomorrow, if I don't get kicked out of school for good this time, I'll talk to Herc.

And I'll figure out how to potentially ruin his life just so I can cling onto mine for a little while longer.

**{So that was Aladdin's first entry, and through it, we've learned a lot about some of the major characters' intersecting histories. I hope you guys liked it and were able to keep up, and don't worry, we will soon be visiting the perspectives of Meg, Esmeralda, Frollo, and others.**

**I'm glad you guys enjoyed the previous chapter, especially the way it seemed to end (FINALLY some action!)…**_**buuut**_** unfortunately list-wise we can't count our chickens before they hatch. The next chapter picks right up where that one left off, and we'll have to see if Shane actually seals the deal with Esmeralda or not…I'm just gonna say, cross your fingers because it's not a slam dunk yet. ;)**

**Also, I want to acknowledge that I have officially hit 100 reviews, a mark I never actually thought I would reach, being a dude writing about Disney characters for an audience that I assume is primarily female haha. I may not have a huge amount of readers compared to some other stories, but the readers I do have are very loyal and I really do appreciate all of you, both boys and girls (and anything/everything in between.) As long as you keep giving me feedback and saying you want to read more, I will try my best to keep giving it to you. So thanks!**

**Next chapter should be up soon. Make sure to let me know what you think!}**


	21. Chapter 20

**{A/N: After many chapters of long wait, I am pleased to inform you all that this chapter finally opens up with a little bit of raunchiness. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to classify it as actual smut, but if such steaminess isn't your cup of tea, here's your warning. (Also, you should get another drink. Because tea as a rule is steamy. Unless you like iced tea. In which case, gross.) Anyway, I digress. Enjoy!}**

**Chapter Twenty**

She was, by far, the most beautiful girl I had ever kissed in my entire life.

When our lips touched, my whole body felt like it had melted into a delirious, aching puddle, and simultaneously ignited into flames of throbbing passion. My heart was pounding and my lungs were working in overdrive, but our mouths were pressed so tightly against each other that the only meager air I was getting was through my nostrils, and even they were distracted by how intoxicating she smelled.

I had gone into the kiss intending to be gentle, but it was like the second our lips made contact, all self-control was immediately lost. Breathing became the last thing on my mind. All I wanted was to feel her skin against mine, its softness, its incredible warmth. The kiss almost became violent, and in my weakened state, she was the aggressor, easily dominating me down onto my back. I fell back onto the pillow, her leaning down over me, hungrily moving her lips over and against mine as she took my hand in hers, intertwining our fingers. I don't think I had even initially intended to go straight to making out, but we lasted maybe two seconds before our tongues began exploring each other's mouths as though we could find something invaluable hidden within.

I could feel her voice behind her tongue, rolling up out of her throat and into my mouth like a whispered invitation of yearning, and it only fueled the fire burning inside of my chest.

She had let go of my hand and pressed hers tightly against my cheek, her face moving as she kissed me, pushing her lips firmly against mine, then placing little kisses against my top lip before ceding to hungrier, fuller ones that enveloped our whole mouths. I began to feel as though I was suffocating in her sweet, smoldering exhale. It was the most pleasant drowning sensation I've ever felt, and though my lungs were searing and yearning for air, all I could feel was the fire on my fingertips as they explored her body.

One of my hands was behind her head, my fingers tangled in her thick black hair, clenching a handful as it fell down around my face, further enveloping me in her scent. It smelled like wild-berries, sweet and deep and inebriating.

My other hand was on the back of her thigh, holding and caressing it, trying to goad her up so that her whole body would be on top of me, and not just her torso. She had been sitting next to me and when we kissed, she had turned her body so that now, her chest was pressed down onto mine, but her lower body was not.

My hand traveled up from the back of her thigh up over her ass, and I squeezed once before going up to the small of her back, and holding her tightly against me. She pushed herself up and moved forward slightly, never allowing her lips to leave mine. One of her legs went between my legs, but mine were trapped under the sheets, and hers were not. I wanted to push her off for a millisecond so that I could free myself from their confines, or bring her under them as well, but I couldn't force myself to part from her for even that long.

Then it was her lips that finally left mine and she started to kiss the side of my neck, softly and sweetly, before lightly sucking on my skin like the world's gentlest vampire. I let out an involuntary sigh of feel-goodiness, breathing in the scent of her hair as I took in much needed inhales of oxygen, my chest heaving up and down under the weight of hers.

Both of my hands went onto her back, and then her ribs, while she kissed my neck, until one of my hands tried to wedge between our chests, where her breasts were flattened down against my sternum. I nestled my hand between and squeezed one of them, causing her to whimper and suck harder on my neck for a moment, and try to curl her foot under my leg, but the blankets were in the way.

I fondled her again, trying to be gentle, but giving in to the hungry desire that was starting to overtake me. I pressed and squeezed hard enough that she stopped kissing my neck and let out a moan, grabbing my shoulders with her hands to hold me down as she finally pressed her hips fully over mine, her groin pressing down and thrusting against me with an agonizing firmness.

Her blouse was hanging low from her breasts and I tried to slip my hand under, halfway succeeding, when she suddenly grabbed my wrist and sat up, straddling my waist and breathing hard. Her hair was wild and her eyes were only half open as though she were in a half-dream state.

"Wait," Esmeralda said, her chest rising up and down as she tried to catch her breath.

"What?" I asked, breathing hard myself.

"I just…" She paused and then started to breathe again. "I can't do this."

I hated when girls did this kind of thing but they were famous for it. Right when things start to get hot and heavy, they stop you and say that it's moving too fast, or they're not that type of girl or blah-blah-blah. And unless you're some kind of date-raping frat boy asshole, you have no choice but to acquiesce to their inhibition. At that point, the question is whether they really want to stop or whether they just don't want you to think they're slutty. It's a fine line you have to walk figuring out whether they want you to keep going or whether it's a full on no-go, at least for the night in question, but you're pretty powerless in that kind of scenario. You just have to hope that she's still game and see what happens.

"Why not?" I asked, already feeling the sick feelings of defeat creeping up into my stomach. (Defeat felt a lot like blue balls.)

"I'm not that kind of girl," she said.

Ah, the old reliable.

I had no choice but to play along.

"I know you're not," I said slowly, my free hand stroking her waist. "But I just can't keep myself from wanting to touch you. You're so beautiful, it's ridiculous…"

"Stop," she said, shaking her head in an almost amused fashion, as though she didn't buy a word of it. But that was the one thing I didn't have to lie about. She was ridiculously hot, way hotter than any girl I had ever gone to school with in my world, and it took every ounce of my self-control not to just flip and pounce on her until she was forced to push me away again.

She hadn't climbed off of me yet, however, and as long as she was still straddling me, there was still hope to reignite the mood as far as I was concerned.

I laid there under her and tried to look both as pitiful and sincere as possible (a common strategy taken by us gentlemen in situations like these).

"I'm serious," I said as pitifully sincere as I could muster.

She wasn't having any of it though.

"No, seriously, don't."

"What?" I asked without trying to sound overly whiny. "You don't want me to tell you that I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen?"

"I don't want you to think I'm easy, because I'm _not._"

"That is the _last _thing I think."

Her green eyes flashed as she stared at me with an intensity I had not been expecting.

"No it's not. You said as much yesterday."

"What are you talking about?"

"In personal finance yesterday. You said something like, 'Oh, _I'm _the one who's easy?' You know, like you were saying that I was."

I stared back at her in stunned disbelief. Was she really holding onto that right now? My dumb little crack had stayed in her mind enough to the point that it would pop up and interrupt this incredibly steamy moment between us, just as our lips and hands were traveling unexplored terrains and we were about to take it to the next kick-ass level of awesomeness?

Girls never ceased to amaze me.

"Esmeralda, that wasn't-I mean, that was a _joke. _Just a stupid joke. _You're _the one who jumped on my lap and tried to, like, bewitch me with your eyes and your body and everything. I didn't even know you yet. It's not like I just randomly yelled at you from across the hall that you were a slut or anything."

"I'm not a slut," she said (from still atop my lap, it's worth noting.)

"I _know_ you're not!"

"No you don't, that's the problem. You don't know me. I mean, holy shit, I just met you, this is only the second day I've even…and you're in my _bed_…and _I'm_ on _you…_"

She trailed off, too upset to continue, and suddenly climbed off of me. In a fluid motion, Esmeralda hopped off of the bed completely and turned away with one hand up to her head as though she had just come out of some kind of hallucination. I was fast enough to grab her wrist before she could run off, but she tried to tug it away.

"Hold on," I said. "Don't freak out on me right now."

"Let go."

"Just, relax for a second, will you?" I asked, frustrated. "I'm not gonna try to make you do anything, I just want to talk, okay?"

She looked down into my eyes and, seeing the sincerity, relaxed a little.

"Will you just…sit down?" I asked.

That just earned me a look of suspicion.

I let out an irritated growl and scooted over, so that there would be more space between us if she sat. It was enough to get her to tentatively take a seat on the edge of the bed, but her body was rigid, as though the slightest movement from me would cause her to jump right up and sprint the hell out of there.

"Esmeralda," I said. "I think it's safe to say that today was a pretty crazy day for the both of us, right?"

She just looked at me. "…Yeah. Obviously."

"There's a lot of passion and crazy mixed-up feelings going around after something like that, I think," I said. "I mean, from my side, I know that the second I saw you, I thought you were the most ridiculously attractive creature I've ever seen in my entire life-"

"Cut it out."

"I'm serious!" I snapped, silencing her. "I'm just saying, I thought you were beautiful right from the start, so being here with you now isn't any surprise to me. I mean, I can't believe I'm here with you at all but I'm not, like, questioning my motivations. If I had the opportunity to kiss you anywhere, under any circumstance, I would take it. So I'm not tripping over that."

"I just…" She looked frustrated herself as she tried to search for the words. "…this isn't who I am, at all. I know I'm flirtatious and everything, that's my personality, and Meg's my best friend and she makes her jokes, but you have to understand, that's not at all what I'm about. I know that I have this reputation at school, but it's all bullshit. None of them know me. None of them actually know me."

Esmeralda looked really worked up, almost to the point of tears, and I wanted to reach for her to comfort or relax her, but I knew if I so much as tried she would probably pull away and run.

"You can ask anyone at our school," she said after a moment to gather her bearings. "Ask any guy at our whole stupid school if they've actually been with me, and not one will be able to say they have without lying. People make stuff up because they have nothing better to do, and they're jealous that their boyfriends are always trying to hit on me. All those idiots think they'll have a chance to take me into the back of their cars one night when their girlfriends aren't around, and that I'll be all ready and willing. But that's never happened before, because I don't do that."

"Okay," I said, sighing. "I believe you. I do."

"But how can you?" she asked in a distressed voice. "How can you believe I'm telling the truth when you're lying here practically naked in _my _fucking bed and I was just up all on top of you? You probably think this is a weekly thing for me, don't you? That I just rotate guys through here like a revolving door, like a service that I provide for everyone?"

"I do NOT think that," I said as firmly as I possibly could. "I think that you may have just acted a little out of character because of how crazy today was. I can't judge you for that…we're only human. And if you like me even the tiniest percentage that I like you, that makes me feel like a million bucks. But I don't think you're a slut. And I don't think you're easy. And _you _just have to trust me on that. If you want me to believe that you're not a whore, then _you _need to trust that I'll believe it. Okay?"

Esmeralda gazed into my eyes and for a second I was worried that she was going to lash out at me or start crying or something, but then they softened and I saw her shoulders relax wearily.

"Okay. I believe you."

I leaned back, relieved. "Good. Thank God. You totally stressed me out right now."

"It's just important to me that you don't think I'm something I'm not. I stuck up for you today because I saw something different in you than I've seen in almost anybody else."

"And what's that?"

"Something genuine. And brave. You knew that it was unfair what Frollo was doing to you, but you didn't try to run away, or grovel or beg for mercy. You had pride. You sucked it up and went through with it, even though he never would have done that to anyone who had money or status. And seeing that…seeing you show such courage even in the face of such unfairness and cruelty, I just couldn't let you fail. Not if I had the chance to help you."

"I never really thanked you," I said quietly. "So let me take that opportunity now."

"You don't have to thank me," Esmeralda said, looking away. "All I did was the right thing, what anybody should have done. It's not like…it shouldn't be a big deal."

"No, fuck that!" I spat. "Just _doing_ the right thing is more than most of the world can ever bring themselves to do. It was like that where I was from, and it's like that here. That's one thing that hasn't fucking changed. Most people are too afraid to stand up for what's right when the world gets tough and scary. They'd rather duck their heads and hope it all goes away." I paused. "But you're not like that."

Now, Esmeralda was looking at me and smiling shyly, which was a first for her. I knew that that meant I was getting through to her, maybe not to get her back into bed, but getting her to believe that I respected and appreciated her.

And damn it, I _did_ respect and appreciate her. Fictional character or not, she had saved my hide from even worse pain and potentially lasting damage, damage which could have messed me up enough that I would never have the power to make it back home. That wasn't something I could just let slide, even if I knew that I had to try and nail her before long, or risk being trapped in this topsy-turvy world of hers forever.

That danger was looming constant in the back of my mind, even outweighing the cravings of my flesh, which was weak and animalistic. But I couldn't afford to be an animal.

I had to remain strategic.

"So, let me thank you for saving me and putting you and your friends at risk," I said, the clinical thoughts in my head clashing with the genuine gratitude and feelings of desire that were welling up inside me. "I probably can't ever repay you, but that just shows what kind of a person you are. To help a person you barely know just because it's the right thing to do, and you know that nobody else will. That says more about your character than how much money you do or don't have, or what car you drive, or whether you live in Atlantica or the hood. And now letting me stay in your home, and looking after me…I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but I'm glad I did it."

Esmeralda scooted forward again and took my hands, smiling at me. This time, she leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips, but I knew not to try and do anything more than gently return it.

"There's something about you," she said quietly after pulling back only a few inches from my face. "I don't know how to explain it, but it excites something in my soul…the adventurous part that's always trying to come out. It's something about your aura or…I don't know. But there's this mysterious sense about it…like you're different than everyone else in a way that I can't quite figure out." She gazed into my eyes for such a long time that I actually began to feel nervous, and then she whispered, "Who are you?"

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Where are you from?"

"I don't think you'd believe me if I told you," I said softly.

"Try me."

"I can't," I said. "But it's nothing bad or anything. I'm not, like, a cop or any shit like that, so you can tell Al and your uncle not to worry."

"I know you're not," she said, smiling and touching her forehead with mine. "You seem more like an alien."

I laughed. "That's probably more accurate than anything else."

"So what, are you from another planet or something? Are you from Mars?"

"No, I'm definitely from Earth. I just think I'm from a very different Earth than you."

Esmeralda shook her head. "I don't understand."

"I don't think I can really explain it," I said. "At least not yet. But when I figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know. If you still want to find out, that is."

"I want to find out," she said firmly. "I want to know why nobody knew you before yesterday and suddenly you're in the middle of all this craziness." She hesitated and then added, "And why you're forcing your way into all of my thoughts."

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. "Have you ever heard of a 'Mary-Sue'?"

"A what?"

No surprise there.

"Never mind," I said with a long sigh. I reached up to caress her cheek, kissing her softly but briefly before saying, "I guess if nothing else is gonna happen between us tonight, we should probably go to sleep."

She smiled to herself, looking down. "Yeah, I guess you're right. We have to wake up early for that meeting with Ms. Maleficent and Frollo."

"Well I know I'm not looking forward to that."

"Do you have parents that can go?"

I shook my head. "I don't have any parents."

She stared at me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that my parents are gone."

She squinted a little bit at me, as though trying to find a hidden meaning behind my words, before saying, "My parents are gone too, I guess you could say."

I smiled. "I guess we have that in common then."

"Yeah, I guess we do."

Much to my regret, she climbed off of her bed again.

"The couch, huh?" I asked.

"It's calling my name."

"You don't have to," I said. "I can sleep in it. Or we can both stay here. I promise I won't do anything."

Esmeralda grinned at me. "You might be able to make that promise, but I'm not so sure that I can."

I groaned. "Now you're really torturing me."

"I'll wake you up in the morning," she said, blowing a kiss before turning off the light. "Sweet dreams."

I got to lay there in darkness and silence for maybe six seconds before I heard the voice I knew was coming.

"Oh my sweet catnip…you SUCK."

"So, do you, like, just creep around the room invisible and watch us?" I asked. "Are you the kind of weirdo who watches girls go to the bathroom and stuff like that?"

"Stop trying to put this on me," said the Cheshire Cat. "After last night's disappointing performance with Ariel, you were actually in position to cross off the first name on your list. And you fumbled at the goal line. You tripped running the bases. You air balled at the free throw line."

"Shut up with the sports analogies! They're not even accurate! That was _not _an air-ball! That was, what, first or second base? It's been a while since junior high taught me what those were…"

"You whiffed. She was literally _on top of you, _and you still managed to find a way to not get laid. I don't even know what to say to you. You're like the Babe Ruth of _not _hitting home runs."

"Why are you so invested in this?!" I demanded.

"Because I sent you here! The people I represent are expecting some gratification!"

"Tell them to go gratify their BALLS."

"Maybe they COULD if you had _any_ degree of sexual competence _whatsoever_!"

"It's not my fault the girl has feelings!" I snapped. "She didn't want to go through with it. Nothing I could do. Unless you're telling me I should have _raped _her."

"What would it matter?"

"Are you serious?"

"She's not real, right?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Isn't that what you believe?"

"I don't care! One, even if she's _not _real, acting that out would be like entertaining some sick rapist fantasy that I for sure do _not _have and two, I don't think I could even pull it off. She'd kick my ass eight ways to Sunday right now. I'm all broken down from that whole pepper spray incident that you caused to happen, in case you've forgotten."

"All this whining," said the Cat. "It's getting really _boring. _You better not be getting soft on me or you're going to be stuck here for a _very_ _long _time."

"It might take some time," I responded, "but I'm gonna get it in, all right? Everything is on schedule. I can't rush it. Because whenever I don't think something through, it usually ends up working out pretty terribly for me, in case you haven't noticed. Exhibit A, this morning in the bushes."

"When are you going to let that _go?"_

"When my vision comes back!"

"Hmm, that must be pretty rough actually. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"The lights are off."

"Oh no, you poor thing, you're further gone than I thought! You think the _lights _are _off_? Bad news! You're blind!"

I wasn't fooled by his jackassery, so I responded by saying, "Okay, let's test out your sight then. How many fingers am _I _holding up?"

"That is a very rude gesture," said the Cat. "Didn't your mother teach you better manners than that?"

"She also taught me that animals couldn't talk and that cartoons weren't real so I'm kinda starting to question the wisdom of Mommy Dearest, to be perfectly honest."

"Well, you won't have to worry about getting any more bad advice from her, now will you?" asked the Cat. "Because from what I've seen, _to be perfectly honest, _you're never going to see any of your family again."

I didn't bother replying because, even though it was dark, I knew he had disappeared.

Still, the words hit home.

Mercifully, sleep came quickly to me, but I was woken up far too early.

Esmeralda was standing over me, looking positively angelic in the soft morning light. She appeared to be already dressed and ready for whatever the day might hold. Meanwhile, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and probably looked like it too.

"You," she said to me, "are a very deep sleeper."

"Part of it is your kickass bed," I mumbled, "and part of it is from the brain damage I'm sure I've suffered. I was probably teetering on the verge of a full-on coma all night."

"Well I'm happy you survived," she said, helping me sit up. "I don't have an extra toothbrush, but I guess you can just use your finger."

"You're sure I can't just use yours?" I asked, taking her hand in mine.

"Ew, gross. I'd never share my toothbrush."

I grinned and squeezed her palm. "I meant your finger."

"I should have known."

Unsurprisingly, I ended up brushing my teeth with my own finger and had to just use some water to style my hair. Looking in the mirror, I knew I could use a shave, but Esmeralda didn't really want me to use her razor, which made me wonder about all the things she might use it for, which was kinda gross and kinda not when I thought about how insanely hot she was.

I'm not saying I'd drink her bath water, but…

Okay. Maybe that's exactly what I'm saying.

Anyway, Jim was kind enough to come up and lend me some more of his clothes, which fit me pretty well. We were around the same height and he was a little skinnier than me, but not by enough to matter much.

He was mostly mad that he had to wake up with the rest of us, since Aladdin was always his ride to school.

"I'm not even involved in your delinquent behaviors," he grumbled to Esmeralda and me as we stepped out of her apartment. "I should be _sleeping! _Sleeping like a cute little baby!"

"You were never a cute baby," said Esmeralda.

"Don't act like you know me," said Jim. "I was _adorable_, for your information. Aladdin told me that _you _were born with a tail."

"Yeah," said Esmeralda sarcastically. "And wings and cute little devil horns. All Romani are."

He yawned as we headed to the stairs. "Hey, I believe it."

It was my first chance to really take in my surroundings. We were on the third floor of a rundown apartment complex, which was shaped like a "U", with the top extending out to the sidewalk and street (though a large tough fence separated us from the outside world.) Esmeralda's apartment was somewhere in the middle curve of the "U," allowing us to look out and see both sides equally.

We took the stairs down to the courtyard, which already had a lot of people walking around the inside of it, carrying baskets of laundry or other belongings around. I noticed that a lot of them were dark-skinned with long hair, gold jewelry, and bright-colored clothes and bandannas. Most of the men had some type of facial hair. Looking at them, it seemed reasonable to guess that they were all gypsies, and some of them were probably related to Esmeralda, Aladdin, Mowgli, and Clopin (though I still wasn't sure exactly how those four were related to each other yet.)

It was easy to find Al's beat-up old van. I recognized it because it bore the same kind of designs painted onto the sides of it as his flying carpet had possessed in the movie.

Aladdin was leaning against the side of his "magic carpet" with Meg and Quasi, restlessly smoking a cigarette. His hair was disheveled and he had bags under his eyes, as though he hadn't slept a wink all night.

"Hey, are you feeling all right, man?" Jim asked him when we walked up to them.

"I'm fine," said Aladdin, dropping his cigarette and grinding it under his shoe. He turned and walked away from us to the front of the van, where he started pacing around with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets.

Jim arched an eyebrow and looked at Meg, who just shook her head wearily at us.

"He's in a bad mood," she said. "He has been since he woke up."

"Did you see him wake up?" asked Esmeralda, watching her cousin pace around in his own little world.

"Huh?"

"Did you actually see him wake up?"

Meg thought about it. "Well I guess he woke up before me so…"

"He probably stayed up all night again," said Esmeralda with a sigh. "What time did he get back last night?"

Meg looked irritated. "_I_ don't know…I couldn't just sit there waiting up for him when he had to wake up early this morning. He never tells me when he's coming back."

Esmeralda didn't say anything.

"Don't look at me like that!" Meg said, sounding a little defensive. "What am I supposed to do? It's not like any of _you _waited up for him either." She glanced at me for a millisecond before looking back at Esmeralda. "_You _all were preoccupied with _other _things…"

That last quip got Quasimodo to look up sharply.

"All right," Esmeralda relented, looking embarrassed. "I get it."

We heard footsteps approaching and I saw Clopin with Mowgli and Tarzan walk up. I was surprised to see Tarzan; I didn't even know he lived here with the rest of them.

Like Jim, he looked vaguely annoyed to be awake, but he was a quiet guy, so he didn't complain out loud.

Clopin, for his part, also looked as though he had woken up to better days.

"Are you all ready to try and look innocent and responsible?" he asked, his eyes traveling over to Meg, who was smoking a cigarette of her own. "Put that out, Megara! We don't need you all smelling like cigarette smoke in front of Ms. Maleficent and Frollo."

Meg sheepishly obeyed as Clopin looked over at me.

"You don't have any parents or guardians that will be attending?" he asked me.

I shook my head. "No. I'm by myself."

"No you're not," Esmeralda said quietly, giving me a small smile.

Something in Quasimodo's eyes flickered ever so slightly.

"You may need to tell them where you're staying," Clopin continued. "If you are not old enough to declare independence, you can tell them you're staying here with us if you need to."

"Thanks," I said.

"Maybe it'd be a better idea not to associate him with us," said Aladdin, who had drifted back into our midst. "If Frollo's there, maybe we should distance ourselves as much as we can from him, since he's the one in the middle of all this."

"It's as much about me now as it is about Shane," said Esmeralda. "Like it or not, _Al, _we're all in this together."

"She's right," said Clopin. "You all need to stand together against something you felt was unjust and dangerous. You acted out of concern for a fellow student's health, not merely the desire to rebel, and you ultimately didn't harm anyone. This will be your defense."

"Whatever," muttered Aladdin, heading over to the driver's side door.

"I'll meet you all there," said Clopin to the rest of us. "Make sure he doesn't fall asleep at the wheel."

Tarzan got into the passenger seat and the rest of us piled in the back, there being just enough seats to fit all of us (though we were pretty squished.)

I managed to procure a window seat in the back and was able to get a glimpse of Neverland in daytime hours. It didn't look so bad in daylight, but it reminded me of some parts of inner city Los Angeles, like in South Central and on Crenshaw Boulevard, except there were a lot less black and Hispanic people walking around.

I had never been to a ghetto full of white people before so it was a curious sight for me to behold. Now, don't get me wrong…there were other ethnicities sprinkled in throughout, but it just wasn't much like the diverse California that I was used to at home.

I wondered if they listened to rap music or if there was some type of urban bluegrass that only existed in this weird little world. That'd be pretty funny (and would also likely make my ears bleed.)

There were less trees but plenty of shops and businesses, it seemed like, including a disproportionate amount of bail bonds offices and liquor stores. That much at least was something I was used to back in the hoods of my world, as well as the larger amount of homeless people walking the streets, pushing shopping carts or tweaking out.

As we came to a stop light at the intersection of Codfish and 2nd Street, I saw something that disturbed me quite a bit.

On the street corner, two police officers had what looked to be an older and unarmed homeless man lying on the ground as they inexplicably clubbed him with their nightsticks. He didn't appear to be violently resisting or to resemble any kind of physical threat at all. Rather, he was on the ground, helpless and crying out as they struck him relentlessly, again and again and again. Not far from where this was happening, two more police officers had another homeless person, this one a woman, pushed up against the back of a patrol car as they brutally slammed her face down onto the trunk.

Needless to say, this unexpected display of violence caught me completely off guard.

"Oh no," said Quasimodo in a hushed voice. He looked out the window with huge eyes, watching the brutality play out with unmistakable sadness and horror written all over his face.

"What the hell are they doing?" I asked, shocked.

"What they always do out here," muttered Jim.

"Mowgli, don't look," said Esmeralda.

"Why not?" Mowgli protested. "I've seen it before."

"That doesn't mean you need to see it again!"

Before they could argue further, the light turned green and Aladdin wasted no time in driving forward, leaving the scene behind us. I could still hear the sounds of broken wails echoing through the city air.

"How can they just get away with that?" I asked, still unable to come to grips with that kind of scene taking place in a happy, so-called "Disney" world.

"Because they're in positions of authority," answered Aladdin. "Now you see why it's so important to stay under the radar. If you live in Neverland, the only attention you can ever get is negative attention, so it's best to not get noticed at all."

"Fucking bastards," Meg muttered to herself, curling up in her seat and chewing furiously on one of her nails.

"That's also why it's so important not to be homeless," Jim added. "The police out here don't like homeless people or junkies. If you're not from one of the nicer districts, you gotta be as afraid of the police as you do gangs like the Pirates."

"The police are worse," Tarzan commented in a low voice. "At least the Pirates usually stick to their own turf. The police don't have a territory."

Quasimodo slumped in his seat and put his face in his hands, causing Esmeralda to put her hand on his misshapen shoulders to comfort him. This made me assume that Quasi himself had suffered through some period of homelessness, and seeing the people outside getting beaten down by the police had triggered an emotional response in him.

I was also reminded of when Belle's dad Maurice had been driving us home on my first night here, and how he had been more afraid of the police catching him running a red light than he was of the Pirates who were looming around the car we were in.

I hadn't paid too much attention to it at the time, but now it made more sense. Belle and her father weren't wealthy by any means but they seemed to be law-abiding people, so Maurice seemed to have a disproportionate amount of fear for law enforcement. Now I knew it wasn't so disproportionate after all.

And it made me all the more nervous that I had drawn the ire of a man like Frollo, who had all those damn connections to the judicial system.

Just my stupid luck.

For the rest of the ten minutes or so it took us to get to the school (it wasn't much longer before our surroundings started to look much nicer), it was mostly quiet in the van. Nobody had been really talkative to start with, the upcoming meeting looming in most of our minds, and that scene had especially taken whatever wind we may have had out of our sails.

Aladdin parked the van, climbed out, and shut his door with a slam. The rest of us fell in line with him as Clopin approached us, having parked his own vehicle in a guest parking spot nearby.

"You ready?" Clopin asked us grimly.

None of us really had a response.

Jim, Tarzan, and Mowgli, however, were more than ready to take their leave and amuse themselves safely away from wherever we were headed for the hour before school started.

"Good luck, guys," said Jim, clapping me on the shoulder. "I'll take care of the van if they execute you."

"Not even funny," said Esmeralda.

"Look them in the eye," Tarzan instructed us. "Don't show fear. They can smell fear."

Meg rolled her eyes. "They're not stray dogs, Tarzan."

"Frollo looks kinda like a greyhound," said Mowgli.

"Shut up, Mowgli."

We walked to the main office, where we found Phoebus waiting for us. He gave us all a curt nod, though I noticed his eyes discretely lingered on Esmeralda for perhaps half a second longer than it did the rest of us. She reacted with one of those infamous 'I'm not noticing but I'm actually totally noticing' faces girls love to put forth when you look at them.

It made me wonder if they had already started some type of physical relationship, and if they had, how long it had been going on for. And how old was Phoebus anyway? He definitely wasn't in his twenties.

"This way," said Phoebus, sounding very professional and police-y, a far cry from when I had heard him arguing with Aladdin the day before.

Clopin made a face that seemed to indicate that he didn't seem to like old 'Sun God' very much, which secretly pleased me, but he followed anyway.

We entered inside the building, where Mrs. Potts was sitting and typing busily away at her desk.

"Are they ready?" Phoebus asked her.

"Oh yes," she responded. "Ms. Maleficent, Mr. Jafar, and Mr. Frollo are all waiting inside the Chamber Room for you."

"No fuckin way," said Meg suddenly.

We all looked at her in surprise, thinking that she had been reacting to the news about Maleficent, Jafar, and Frollo. (Clopin looked particularly agitated by her use of profanity.)

But she wasn't reacting to that unpleasant and yet totally expected bit of news. She was reacting to the skinny woman in the jean jacket sitting in one of the waiting chairs who none of us had initially noticed upon entering the building.

It didn't take much brain power for me to figure out that the woman was Meg's mom. Meg was a spitting image of her. They both had very thin, somewhat angular frames with huge manes of thick brown hair and long eyelashes, though Meg's mom seemed to be showing her years more than she perhaps should have been for her age. Her face had a slightly worn look to it under her heavy makeup, which I attributed to the likelihood that she was a chain smoker and probably a heavy drinker to boot.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Meg demanded, her stance rigid.

Her mom stood up with a sarcastic grin. "I couldn't miss the big day, could I? Nobody was surprised when I got that call yesterday. After all, I know I'm not ever going to get to attend your graduation, so I figure being here for your expulsion is the next best thing, right?"

Meg looked like she wasn't sure whether she wanted to cry or scream.

"Janet, please," said Clopin. "She is not going to get expelled-"

Meg's mom reared on him angrily.

"Oh why don't you shove it up your ass, Gypsy? Take my daughter away from me, have her live at your little crime cave. Your little brothel. Your little slut palace. You got her screwing for money yet or are you the only one getting lucky every night?"

"Oh my," said Mrs. Potts from behind her desk.

"Ahem!" said Phoebus, irritated.

"What's your problem, Dudley Do-Right?" asked Meg's mom.

"If you don't _mind, _I'd appreciate it if you saved the domestic drama for after the meeting," said Phoebus, "preferably when you're off school grounds."

Meg's mom put a cigarette in her lips, starting to light it. "Whatever."

Phoebus snatched the cigarette out of her lips and tossed it in the trash. "Not a chance."

Janet looked furious. "You gonna reimburse me for that smoke? They're not cheap, you know!"

Phoebus ignored her. "If you all would be so kind as to follow me. This way."

He turned with a dark expression on his face and started walking down the hall. We followed a few paces behind, nobody really wanting to get too near Meg's mom, who was scowling and muttering to herself in resentment towards Phoebus.

Esmeralda had an arm around Meg's shoulder, trying to comfort her while Meg struggled to keep it together. Already I could see that her relationship with her mom was about as healthy as a mosquito and a dragonfly.

Curiously, Aladdin didn't seem to be giving much comfort to his girlfriend. All he did was lean close to her once and whisper, "Don't let her see you sweat, Meg." Then he went back to walking ahead of her, never looking back.

I couldn't really tell whether Meg was strengthened or underwhelmed by his words, but I didn't have much time to pay attention to her attitude because we had arrived to the so-called "Chamber Room."

Phoebus opened the doors and we all stepped inside.

The color scheme was mostly mahogany-the walls, the ceiling, the table. The table itself was polished oak, sitting in the middle of the room and resembling one of those long conference tables they always have in movies during important meeting scenes. You know, the kind where some poor sap is giving some flip chart representation at the front while the executives sit there being all old and rich and crotchety, and we're wondering just how many different chemicals are in the butter substitute sludge coating our popcorn.

Except this time it was going to be us on full display, and not some lame flow chart documenting how successful Big Tobacco has been selling cigarettes to the pre-teen market in the last five years. (I feel like that's been in a movie somewhere. Or, maybe it's just what I imagine is going on in Marlboro headquarters right now. Either way, you get the picture.)

Getting back to the story at hand, I was most displeased to see both Frollo and Jafar sitting opposite each other at the far end of the table. It was hard to tell who looked fuller of poison and spite, but there was no question about how much mercy we would be (not) receiving if either of them was in charge.

At the head of the table was a tall woman dressed in a form-fitting all-black pantsuit. She had short cropped black hair, a very thin frame, and sharp features, but she wasn't very conservative about the way she wore her makeup. Heavy eye shadow of a deep purple shade was painted on beneath her pencil thin eyebrows, and dark red lipstick coated her lips. The combination along with the rest of her makeup came together in a way that made her look rather regal, accentuating her pronounced cheekbones and deep-set eyes…eyes that immediately captured your attention because the irises were almost more yellow than they were green.

She may not have been wearing a flowing cape and a horned headdress atop green skin, but it wasn't difficult identifying Maleficent in this real-world professional setting. And she didn't much resemble Angelina Jolie either (unfortunately), what with that pointy chin of hers, though I guess she was somewhat attractive in a semi-terrifying way.

Unlike the other two villains, Maleficent didn't seem to have any malice towards us, at least not visibly. (This was almost worse, in a way.) She held her arms out grandly to us and smiled before speaking in her commanding voice.

"I am glad you all could make it. If you would each please take a seat."

Everyone promptly did so, except for Phoebus, who remained hovering by the door.

Maleficent took her seat at the head of the table and said, "Now, I don't see any reason why this meeting should go on any longer than it needs to. The issue at hand is complicated on the surface, but we believe it is simple at its core. Would you agree?"

She was talking to Clopin and Meg's mom, it seemed.

Meg's mom shrugged and said, "I don't have any real stake in the matter. I'm just here to see how bad Meg screwed up and what her punishment is."

Meg almost started to say something but I saw Aladdin grab her wrist under the table and fiercely whisper, "_Don't."_

Clopin sighed. "I suppose," he said slowly, "that it really all depends on what you think the issue actually is. Whether it was mere disobedience or a justified-"

"The _issue_," Frollo cut in, his deep voice full of righteous conviction, "is that these _children _directly undermined my authority as an instructor and administrator, and furthermore proceeded to _threaten _me before leaving the school grounds without permission!"

"You almost killed a student!" Esmeralda couldn't help but protest.

"It is not your _place _to question my judgment!" Frollo snarled at her.

"She was within her rights to protect herself and her fellow students if she felt threatened," Clopin countered. "She is an American, is she not?"

"I will not be lectured about legal rights from a common _gypsy," _Frollo spat. "Your kind make a mockery of the words law and order!"

"Everyone, please!" Maleficent said, her voice rising above the others. "Control your tone! We are going to discuss the matter fairly and civilly. We will _not _be losing our tempers or making personal attacks. That is not what Disney High School stands for, and it is not the way we will conduct ourselves."

Again, Esmeralda was the first (and possibly only willing) one to respond.

"I'm sorry, but is _pepper spraying _a helpless student multiple times in front of the class to humiliate him something that Disney High stands for?"

"Esmeralda…" Clopin warned under his breath.

"Insolent little _brat_," Jafar hissed.

Maleficent actually smiled at Esmeralda and sat back in her seat, regarding her silently in a way that made all of us uneasy.

"You certainly seem to be recalling the demonstration in a most scathing light," she finally said, her tone cool and her expression placid.

"I don't see how else to describe it. Shane was up there suffocating right before our very eyes." Esmeralda's eyes flashed over to me, invoking me to speak. "Weren't you?"

I swallowed and said, "I thought I was going to die up there. I couldn't breathe or see anything. If Esmeralda, Meg, Aladdin, and Quasi hadn't come up to help me…I don't know what would have happened."

"And yet despite all these dramatic claims, you still managed to go up and snatch the bag like you were supposed to," Frollo sneered. "If you were suffering so very much, I don't think you would have been able to succeed. Not if the strain of capsicum was as potent as you are implying."

"It took me the entire rest of the day and the night to recover," I said. "My vision only fully came back this morning."

"How convenient," Frollo continued, "that here you are…without any ill effects to show for the abuse you claim you suffered."

Maleficent gazed at me. "It's true that you don't appear to be any worse for the wear."

"Esmeralda's a good nurse," I said.

"If I may be permitted to speak," Jafar said, "I would like to state for the record that Mr. Barrera here has displayed an astounding degree of disrespect and apathy for both our school and our faculty, myself included, on multiple occasions."

I slapped my open palm down onto the table. "That's not true at all!"

"Control yourself," said Maleficent.

I took a deep breath and then said to her, "I haven't consciously done anything wrong since I arrived. I've gone to every class on time and I even obeyed the task set before me in Ethics class with the pepper spray. Which of course I didn't want to do, but I didn't want to cause problems, so I did it."

"On the very first day in my classroom, I witnessed you in a verbal altercation with another student," said Frollo.

"Who, Gaston?" I demanded. "He was targeting _us!"_

"It's true," Meg said. "We, um, we can testify for that."

"I wouldn't take her word for anything," Meg's mom said flatly. "She's been a liar since she could talk."

"Mom, you weren't there!" Meg shouted at her. "You didn't see what happened!"

"If the two of you cannot remain civil," said Maleficent, "I will have Officer Phoebus escort you both off the school grounds immediately. Is that understood?"

Both Meg and her mom slouched in their seats and muttered their agreements.

"If I'm allowed to speak," Aladdin said, "I would just like to say that none of us-"

"You most certainly are _not _allowed to speak," Jafar sneered. "You more than anyone at this table have a long list of offences. I don't think _any _of us are surprised that you're in the middle of this incident as well, Ababwa."

"That's a load of crap!" Aladdin shouted.

"_Mister Ababwa!" _Maleficent declared. "Your language is completely inappropriate and absolutely unacceptable for this table. Control yourself or face the consequences."

Aladdin looked like he regretted his outburst.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to say that none of us did anything wrong. We tried to help Shane because we thought he needed immediate medical attention, and it looked like he wasn't going to get it from Fro-from Mr. Frollo. We weren't trying to be disobedient or disrespectful, we were just trying to look out for the health of a fellow student."

Meg and Esmeralda voiced their agreement. Quasi looked too sick and nervous to say anything.

Maleficent cleared her throat. "Here is the issue at hand. We have documentation that Shane Barrera agreed to volunteer for an experimental demonstration in front of the class."

"Which isn't true!" Esmeralda interjected. "He didn't sign anything!"

"I didn't," I said. "Why would I sign something like that?"

"Are you implying that I, a former provincially appointed judge for more than twenty years, am a _liar?" _Frollo asked in a dangerous voice.

"I'm not _implying _anything," Esmeralda said, glaring directly into his eyes. "I'm _saying _exactly that. You made it up!"

"Esmeralda, that's enough!" Clopin said urgently, but it was too late.

Frollo rose to his feet. "Miss Guybertaut, your impertinence has gone too far. _Never _have I, in all of my long and decorated years in the judicial or educational fields, been accused of dishonesty. Until now. By _you."_

"I just want justice," she said.

"_You don't know the meaning of the word._"

"This is out of control," said Clopin. "A student was harmed in class and none of the five sitting here were involved in harming anyone else. How are we supposed to respond when we hear that our children are at risk of being _pepper sprayed_?"

"Nobody was at risk," said Frollo, "except for the volunteer. I made sure of that."

"But I didn't volunteer for anything," I said weakly.

"Mr. Barrera, our records state that you are eighteen years old," said Maleficent. "You are not required to have legal guardians with you but I can't help but think that most students in your situation would bring someone with them. Do you have any comments to make on this subject?"

I couldn't think of anything to say but simply, "No."

Maleficent's brow creased slightly, as though this information fascinated her, but she continued speaking as normal. "Now, the last thing we want to happen is for this unpleasantness to extend out beyond the school. None of us want this to become a legal matter if we can avoid it, not because we believe that we are culpable in any way, but because we don't want to cause a distraction for our current students or the faculty."

"Or damage your reputation," said Clopin.

Maleficent smiled. "Of course we don't like to see internal issues being brought out to a court system to make judgment upon. No school does. But make no mistake, sir, that if any of you try to take us to court, _we will win._ This I promise you."

The weight of her words hung heavily in the air above us all. We knew she was right. None of us had the financial or political pull to duke it out with Disney High School's legacy, especially when the teacher in question had the courts in his back pocket.

Maleficent knew she had us by the balls.

But her next words surprised me.

"With that being said, before you try and make any rash decisions, I implore you to listen to what I am prepared to offer the five of you who were directly involved. Now, we have documentation that Shane Barrera signed up to volunteer for the demonstration. If you wish to contest that, we can address the route that will take in a moment, but it would benefit you much more if you get onboard with my preference, which is that we do everything we can to put this matter behind us entirely."

"And what would that entail?" Clopin asked.

"The five students-Shane, Aladdin, Meg, Esmeralda, and Quasimodo-will be allowed to return to their classes without any kind of suspension," said Maleficent. "As far as I'm concerned, the _worst_ thing that could happen out of this is for you young men and women to miss valuable class time. None of us want your educations to suffer. I am choosing to give you all the benefit of the doubt in that you were concerned over the safety of a fellow student, and acted somewhat rashly and emotionally in trying to ensure his well-being. Of course, safety is of the utmost importance for us here at Disney High and we take the subject very seriously."

Esmeralda and Meg both almost started to say something but Aladdin and I grabbed their arms to shut them up.

"It is important to take into account," Maleficent continued, "that Mr. Frollo has been with us for many years. He has had a long, illustrious career both as an educator and as a judge, and never once have any of our students died on campus, let alone at the hands of a teacher. We are going to overlook the gross insubordination that was displayed by you all in his classroom, but we cannot fully overlook the fact that you all left campus without permission during third period."

"We had to get him help," said Esmeralda.

"There is a school nurse on grounds," Maleficent responded.

"And _he's _on school grounds too!" Esmeralda said, pointing at the seething Frollo.

"I _think _we are not being too harsh," Maleficent said, her voice rising to a frightening octave, "in penalizing you by assigning you each a Saturday school detention beginning at 9:00 AM for prematurely leaving campus without permission. But that is up for you all to decide, whether you are willing to accept our offer, or try to turn this into something that it doesn't need to be."

We all stared. I didn't know exactly what a Saturday school detention entailed, but it seemed to me like we were getting off pretty damn easy. Frollo and Jafar, for their parts, looked pretty irate about Maleficent's decision, but they kept their mouths shut for once.

None of us said anything at first.

Finally, Aladdin hesitantly asked, "That's…that's all?"

Maleficent smiled coldly. "That's all. If you accept the terms, we will be glad to put this matter behind us for good and let you all get back to your classes as normal."

"Will they be safe from further discipline and/or cruel and unusual punishments in Mr. Frollo's classroom?" Clopin asked, glancing at the sinister old man.

"My class will proceed as normal," Frollo replied, "without any particular students receiving special attention. Despite my misgivings with the incredibly merciful and lenient ruling Ms. Maleficent has made, I am willing to stand by her decision."

"We accept!" Quasimodo blurted out, speaking for the first time.

We all looked at him and he shrunk down into his seat.

"I just…it sounds like a good offer…"

"I don't see any issues with it," Aladdin said. He looked at Meg and Esmeralda (but not me, I noticed). "You guys cool with it?"

"Yeah it's fine," Meg said quickly. "Let's just move on."

Esmeralda didn't say anything.

"Esme…" Aladdin said in an agitated tone. "You're onboard, right?"

Esmeralda glanced at Frollo, who stared spitefully back at her.

"I guess. But I think _they're _the ones being let off the hook too easy."

"Ungrateful little _wench!" _I heard Jafar hiss from where he was sitting.

"Calm yourself, Mr. Jafar," said Maleficent. "The students do not have to see eye to eye with us to agree to our offer."

Curiously, Frollo of all people did not respond with anger. Rather, he merely looked at Esmeralda and said, "I must say I appreciate your concern for justice, Miss Guybertaut. In fact, I am most fascinated by it, when considering the history of you and your family."

This seemed to hit Aladdin harder than it did Esmeralda for some reason but he didn't say anything. He just gripped the table extra hard, turning his knuckles white.

"I don't believe those who are less fortunate should be bullied by the powerful and corrupt," Esmeralda said evenly.

"Esmeralda," Clopin warned again.

"Strong words coming from a gypsy," said Frollo, his eyes narrowing.

"I may be a gypsy but you claim to stand for justice as well," said Esmeralda. "So you should agree with me."

Frollo's whispered reply was both fervent and terrifying.

"I _am justice_."

Maleficent stood up. "I think this meeting has gone on long enough. Do we have an agreement with both the students and the guardians?"

"You do from the students," Aladdin said, releasing his hold on the table and glaring at Esmeralda to make sure she didn't object to anything.

"And from me as well," said Clopin.

Meg's mom shrugged and stood up. "Doesn't matter to me. I'm sure I'll be back in here before long."

Gritting her teeth, Meg shook her head but managed to refrain from retorting.

"Very good then," Maleficent said. "You all have twenty minutes before the first bell rings. I am glad that something could be worked out. Phoebus, please show our guests to the door."

"Yes, ma'am," said Phoebus. His face was stoic but I thought I could detect a hint of relief on it also.

"Behave, children," Clopin said sternly to us.

Meg's mom snorted. "That's a laugh. Meg, make sure to let me know if you're gonna grace us with your presence again."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that, Mom," Meg muttered.

As I got up from the table to follow everyone out, I didn't notice a sheet of paper slip out of my pocket and flutter to the ground.

"Mr. Barrera, you dropped something."

I turned around to see Maleficent reach down and pick up the crumpled piece of paper. Unfolding it, she looked down upon it and in a flash, I saw something surge through her body up into her face, like a burst of electricity.

I hurried back nervously over to her, not knowing what was on the paper that had fallen out of Jim's old pair of jeans. I couldn't remember putting any kind of note or sheet in them before leaving that morning.

Maleficent slowly looked up at me, and I could see how large her eyes had become, the irises looking increasingly yellow instead of green.

They almost looked like the eyes of a dragon.

"Where did you say you were from again, Mr. Barrera?" she whispered to me in a most unsettling tone.

I blinked rapidly. "I…California? I mean, California Adventure…"

She just stared at me and slowly nodded. "Ah, yes. I see…"

I just stood there, not sure what to do, while Frollo and Jafar watched us with confusion.

"Your paper," Maleficent said suddenly, thrusting it out at me. "You dropped it."

I slowly took it, not breaking her frightening gaze.

"Thank you."

"No, thank _you,_" Maleficent said, which threw me off even further. "It's not every day we get a new student here at Disney High, and I hope that after these initial struggles fade away, you'll be able to settle in comfortably here with the rest of your peers. I expect to see great things from you this year. Very great things."

"What in the…?" Jafar trailed off, looking extremely perplexed.

The only movement I could muster was a tense nodding.

"I-thank you, ma'am. I definitely hope to get the most that I can out of the school year too."

Maleficent grinned for the first time since I had met her, a wide and disturbing smile that showed all of her even white teeth.

"I hope that you do too, Mr. Barrera. And I have a strong suspicion that you will."

I frowned and took a step back.

"Run along to class now," she said, still smiling.

I quickly turned and hurried to the door, anxious to catch up to the others and leave whatever _that _was behind me.

Glancing down at the paper as I went, I read what it said.

'SHANE'S DISNEY PRINCESS HIT LIST:'

And below that, it said: 'ESM' but the letters seemed to be unfinished.

The rest of the page was blank.

Dread filled my stomach. Though there weren't any names written on the paper yet (I hadn't managed to get further than making out and heavy petting with Esmeralda, which I figured accounted for the first three letters of her name showing up), the fact that it said the words "Disney Princess" on it worried me.

Deep down on some primal level, I had seen a faint degree of recognizance in some of the characters like Belle or Ariel to their connections to their respective films. When I had quoted lyrics to their songs, they had responded in kind without realizing what they were doing.

Was it possible that, somehow, Maleficent also had a faint awareness of her other existence, and of the existences of the characters who populated the classic animated Disney films? Did seeing the words 'Disney' and 'Princess' in conjunction with each other somehow recall in her mind a buried down knowledge of a reality other than this one she was now in?

And if it did, what did that mean in terms of me?

I didn't know what it was exactly that had caused Maleficent to react as she did, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the way she had stared at me with that terrible fire in her eyes was very, very bad.

Not for the first time, I began to suspect that there was something bigger going on here in this anti-magical world of Disney than the inane mission I had been tasked with. There had been little hints all along, little pieces of feelings and instincts popping up inside of me, telling me that everything was not as it seemed.

It was becoming clear that I was slowly becoming part of something that was much greater than I was either equipped or prepared to handle.

And I really began to question now if I would ever have the chance to make it home alive or in one piece.

Something seemed to tell me that every day I spent here in this backwards world made that more and more unlikely.

But there was no end in sight.

I was trapped.

**{Wowza, so a lot happened this chapter! Where to begin? I guess, first off, we have to acknowledge that after 20 long chapters, Shane finally got a little bit of action! *unenthusiastic clapping* Yes, I know he didn't manage to seal the deal, but he laid some groundwork, I think. He may end up scoring with one or two of these gals sooner than later after all. (Patience, Mr. Shackleford…)**

**We also got to see more of the Neverland district and the harsh realities of this happy-on-the-surface world he's been transported to, which helped us to pick up a couple more hints as to what the bigger picture really is.**

**Which brings me to the reviews. BlackAdder, Kurklefuss, and IHateMarySue's, I'm super impressed by all your foresight and I almost want to tell you all to shut up before you ruin the plot! Haha just kidding, but seriously, you're definitely onto something. There's a lot more going on than smashing on princesses, as will slowly be revealed…hopefully I can keep you people guessing along the way. ;)**

'_**If all the Disney movies gang banged the first American Pie movie, this would be the result.' **_**I gotta say, I **_**love **_**that description hahaha and I think it's pretty accurate so far. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story and there will be plenty more classic and more obscure characters (like Sykes! He gets no love!) popping up as we progress along.**

**We've got some glimpses into Frollo's twisted mind coming up shortly, as well as a Meg diary entry, so make sure you guys continue to let me know what you think and what you want/hope to see. I appreciate all the reviews that have been given and try to take them into account as much as I can. Thanks again, and see you soon!}**


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

By the time I caught up with the others, plenty of students were already on campus and more were arriving. I could only imagine the stares we were going to get once people noticed we were still alive and on campus, but I was hoping that by the end of the day people were going to be as over the whole overblown situation as I was.

"Where were you?" Esmeralda asked me as I joined her and the others in stride.

Meg's infuriated scream prevented me from answering.

"My mom is such a _bitch! Ugh!_ I can't _stand_ her!"

"That's not news to anyone, Meg," said Aladdin, looking distracted and irritated. "I don't know why you're acting so shocked."

"I don't care! I just wish she'd shut the hell up and leave me alone!"

"We should just be grateful that we're not in any more trouble than we are," said Quasi, trying to defuse the tension in the air.

"You're naïve if you think Frollo is just gonna forget about this," Esmeralda said. "That's not his style. Even if we're not in any more 'official' trouble."

Aladdin glared at her. "But you just _had_ to keep pissing him off, didn't you?"

"I'm not gonna back down to him when I think he's in the wrong. Not with his history in this town, and against our family."

"Maybe it's not your battle to fight!" Aladdin snapped at her. "You're trying to be some kind of high school revolutionary, but maybe you should try and think about everyone else for once!"

She rolled her eyes. "That's really something coming from the guy who tried to throw our friend under the bus to avoid getting himself into trouble."

Aladdin looked about ready to explode but then he saw something across the grounds that caught his eye and distracted him. "You know what, I don't have time to debate this. You know what kind of person I am and how much I care about our crew and our family, so you can think about that while I go try to take care of business. Since I'm the only one around here lately who has to worry about that anymore."

We watched him stomp off in the direction of where Hercules was hanging out with Gaston, LeFou, Eric, Shang, and Kocoum near the fountain area.

"Well I don't feel awkward," I commented, rubbing my arm.

"What's he doing?" asked Quasi.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it doesn't jive with the whole 'I just want to stay out of trouble' kick he's on right now," Esmeralda muttered.

"I don't know why he doesn't just leave Herc alone," said Meg. "We all know the golden boy doesn't like to talk to us Outcasts during school hours when anyone else can see."

"I wonder why?" Esmeralda said sarcastically.

"Once again, I'm out of the loop and have no idea what you guys are talking about," I said, but they weren't really paying attention to me.

Aladdin was standing over by the fountain, looking as though he was just minding his own business, but we saw Hercules pull his phone out of his pocket and glance down at it for a second before looking sharply over in Aladdin's direction. The two of them made brief eye contact, but then Hercules turned back to his friends as though he didn't want to acknowledge the black-haired boy's existence.

"I can't even stand to watch this embarrassment," said Meg. "Let's go over to the bleachers."

I followed her and the other two down the grassy hills over towards the direction of the football field.

"What's at the bleachers?" I asked.

"Home," Quasi said with a wistful sigh.

I looked at him in confusion. "Wha?"

Meg clarified his strange answer. "The bleachers are the unofficial kick-it spot for us at Disney High."

"So you're officially burnouts then," I commented.

"Um, _we _prefer the term 'Outcasts,' thank you very much," Esmeralda corrected me.

"Outcasts? That doesn't sound much better."

"Yeah, well it's our way of taking back a little bit of pride, okay, Tiger?" Meg asked. "And I hate to break it to you but after this whole…_incident_, like it or not, you're _probably_ gonna be viewed as our newest member. You should come to our meetings, we have cookies."

As we walked down to the bleachers, I could see Jim, Tarzan, and Mowgli hanging out under them. (The latter two were literally hanging from the above seats like monkeys.) Standing next to Jim was a pretty girl with shoulder length strawberry blonde hair who I hadn't seen before.

Mowgli was the first one to notice us approach.

Dropping down from his substitute metal tree branch, he said, "Jim, you owe me a dollar. They're still alive. Pay up."

"Sorry, kid, but we didn't shake on it," said Jim, mussing the younger kid's hair. "Let that be a lesson for your future wagers." He grinned at us. "I'm glad to see you guys survived. Where's Al?"

"Trying to get Herc's attention," Meg muttered. "I swear, he's practically a Bimbette sometimes."

"Are you all expelled?" asked the blonde girl anxiously. She had big, sparkly blue eyes that stood out despite the drabness of her clothing. "What did Ms. Maleficent say?"

"She just gave us all a Saturday school detention," Meg responded.

"_What?" _Jim questioned.

"That's all?" Mowgli asked, just as surprised.

"That doesn't sound like her," Jim said.

Meg shrugged. "It's true. She didn't want it to go to court or anything, even though we all know they would wipe the floor with us if it did."

"She claimed she didn't want our 'educations to suffer,'" Esmeralda said, rolling her eyes. "Like any of us believe that."

"I think it was very kind and merciful on her part," Quasimodo said. "So I'm thankful."

"I'm sure you do, Quasi, but you always see the best in people, even when it's nonexistent."

"What did Frollo say?" asked Tarzan.

"He mostly spent a lot of time insulting gypsies and being creepy," Meg said. "So, you know, his usual shtick."

"He doesn't agree with Maleficent's leniency," I said, "but he's claiming to abide by her decision, so I guess we'll see today how he acts."

"Anybody up for ditching Ethics today?" Meg said with a sigh. "It's a beautiful day. Shit, maybe we could fly a kite. Quasi, you have one?"

Her sarcasm was lost on Quasimodo.

"You're kidding, right, Meg? Right? You wouldn't be that foolish, would you? Because in light of everything, that would be really, _really _foolish…"

"Go run a lap, Quasi," said Meg as she lit a cigarette. "You're all worked up…you're stressing me out, man."

"_Maybe _you don't want to smoke right now," Jim said. "Since you guys are all _probably_ on probation right now. You know, just a thought. Do with it what you will."

"Bite me, Jim."

"Lovely."

"You've been arrested twice as many times as me, so you're the last person I'll take behavioral advice from."

"You're just lucky you can't get arrested for being a ho-bag."

Meg blew smoke into his face. "How's that taste, handsome?"

"Hey!" Esmeralda exclaimed, wanting to distract from their bickering. "Shane, you haven't met Cindy yet, have you?"

"No I have not," I said, smiling and extending my hand to the blonde girl. "Cinderella, is it?"

"I like just Cindy," she said. "But, I mean, if you're more comfortable calling me 'Cinderella,' I guess it wouldn't hurt too much to-"

Meg let out a loud, annoyed groan and exhaled another cloud of smoke. "Oh my Disney, Cindy, will you just stand up for yourself for _once? _If you don't like being called 'Cinderella,' then friggin tell him so and _don't_ _apologize_ for it. Jiminy Cricket, you're killing me!"

I looked around for a tiny singing well-dressed insect floating by on an umbrella, but I soon realized that Jiminy Cricket was used as a replacement expletive for 'Jesus Christ.' Much like the word 'Disney' had seemed to replace the word 'God' in their lexicon of profanity.

"I am perfectly fine with calling her Cindy," I said. "No need to make a big deal out of it. But thanks for being such a sweetheart anyway, Cindy." I threw in a wink and my most dashing smile, which caused Cinderella's eyes to widen a bit before she giggled and looked away, blushing.

Well, shucks, she was gonna be easy to win over, I noted. Throw a couple compliments her way and be halfway decent to her and she'd probably start writing sonnets of love.

"Oh, it's nothing," she said, still blushing.

Meg rolled her eyes. "If you ever catch Cindy being mean to anyone, even if they deserve it, make sure to let me know so that I can throw a party."

"All right, Meg, leave her alone," said Esmeralda in a tone that suggested she often played peacemaker between Meg and whoever she happened to be digging on at the moment, which likely included a boatload of alternating people.

"_SHANE!" _I heard a shrill voice pierce the air, causing me to jump halfway up in the air like a scared little bunny.

We all turned to see a girl with fire truck-red hair sprinting down the hill, pulling a diminutive blonde girl with her by the wrist. The blonde looked much less enthusiastic to be running.

Ariel. (And Alice.) Coming toward me like a miniature freight train.

"Head of your fan club?" Esmeralda asked me with an arched eyebrow.

"Well, she found me," I said. "That didn't take very long."

"Isn't all of this _her _fault anyway?" Meg asked, looking irritated.

"It's not really anybody's fault," I said. "Well, maybe Aurora's."

"Ugh, I hate Aurora."

"Well so does Ariel so you two have that in common."

Ariel released Alice's wrist just as she ran into me, nearly knocking me to the ground. With surprising strength for someone so petite, she grabbed me by the shoulders and tugged me down to her eye level, her eyes darting around as she frantically examined my face.

"Is there something you're looking for?" I murmured, afraid to make any sudden movements.

"Are you _okay?" _she demanded. "I heard what happened! I heard _everything! _Oh my Disney, I'm so _sorry!"_

She suddenly wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me so tight that I could hardly breathe. I struggled to release myself from her grip and, failing, had to wheeze out, "Ariel! I'm fine, really, I swear!"

She let go of me and held me out at arm's length again, looking me up and down skeptically.

"Are you _sure?"_

"I'm sure!"

Finally, Ariel released me completely and let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank _Disney! _I was so worried!"

"Would any of _you _girls show that kind of concern for me if _I _got hurt?" Jim asked, looking at Meg, Esmeralda, and Cinderella.

"Ha!" Esmeralda laughed.

"Not a chance, Jimbo," said Meg.

"That's what I thought," he said. "Just checking to make sure you're all still a bunch of spiteful hags. You _are_, by the way."

"_I'd _be worried about you, Jim," said Cinderella, smiling sweetly at him.

Meg rolled her eyes. "Ugh, seriously, Cindy, you're gonna give me an ulcer if you don't stop being so nice all the time."

"I'm sorry, Meg, I just can't help it."

"Stop _apologizing!"_

Not wanting to witness this whole charade again, I turned to Ariel and said, "Yeah I'm fine now, barely, but I am, so can you pass on the news to whoever might care that I'm okay? Belle, Tiana, and Wendy probably had heart attacks yesterday. Well, at least Wendy probably did."

"_They're _fine," Ariel said, annoyed that I had brought anyone else up. "I don't think _they _stayed up all night worrying like _I _did. But trust me, I really ripped into my sister at home when I found out. She actually feels really bad now, I think. I mean, everybody heard about how badly Frollo tortured you. _Some _people were saying you got taken straight to the hospital and were in a coma hooked up to an oxygen tank. I mean, of course _I _didn't believe _that_, but-"

"Are they actually using the word 'torture'?" I asked.

She blinked. "What else should they use?"

"No, it's very accurate," I said. "I'm just glad everybody's recognizing it for what it is."

"Nobody _likes _Frollo," said Ariel. "Not even Gaston. But that jerk was bragging to everyone who would listen about how he blasted you with the pepper spray. I think I'm the only one who has any idea how much it actually hurts."

"No you don't," I said, shuddering. "Frollo's mace made your sister's stuff feel like scented water by comparison."

"I can't believe you're back at school!" she said. "I thought you'd be all messed up and all your… 'friends' would be suspended or something."

"Can't get rid of us _that_ easy, princess," Meg quipped. "Hate to disappoint."

"We all just got a Saturday school," I said. "I guess we got off pretty easy."

"I guess we'll see when third period rolls around," said Esmeralda.

"Well I don't know about you guys," I said, "but I don't want to risk being late to first period. Meg, Tarzan? Wanna join me in English?"

Tarzan shrugged and nimbly hopped down from the bleachers, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Meg looked less enthused.

"The bell hasn't even rung," she groused.

"A good observation," I said.

"So what's your rush?"

I sighed and turned to walk. "I guess that means it'll be just us, Tarzan. Later, guys."

"No, really, you can stop begging me," I heard Meg call out behind me, as though I had just gotten on my knees and groveled before her. "Come on, Shane, I have a _boyfriend. _A terrible ass-face of a boyfriend, but still. What will everyone think if they see you hounding me for company like this? It simply isn't proper!"

I stopped and turned around to see her catching up to me. "You really don't have to come."

Meg made the melodramatic face of a soap opera actress. "Oh, _fine_, if you _insist _upon begging, I _guess _I'll walk with you so that you don't have to be alone. I simply _can't_ stand to see you debase yourself any longer. I'm just too merciful for my own good."

"He's not alone," said Tarzan. "I'm with him…"

"Tarzan, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall," Meg said. "You don't even count."

Tarzan frowned as he attempted to process this latest insult.

I looked at Meg. "Are you finished with the theatrics?"

She shrugged. "Should I keep going?"

"I think you made your point just fine."

"Shane!" Ariel called, running up to me again as though something had just popped into her mind. "Belle has your backpack! She picked it up when you left it in Frollo's class!"

"Oh, uh, okay," I said. "Thanks, Ariel."

She hugged me again, which made Meg roll her eyes.

"Okay," Ariel said. "Just stay out of trouble. I'll see you at break, maybe?"

She was looking up at me with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Uh, we'll see," I said. "I might still have to give you a little space before the faculty starts to relax on me a little, so…"

"I'll see you at break!" Ariel said with an enthusiastic nod, completely ignoring what I had just said. She then went over to Alice, who was currently showing the upside down hanging Mowgli pictures of different types of mushrooms on her phone.

"They say this one makes you see feel like you're a giant," she was saying. "And _this_ one makes you feel like you're tiny, like a mouse or something. I haven't tried either _yet, _but-"

"I think we have some of those," Mowgli said, scrunching up his face in thought. "I'll ask Al."

"Alice!" Cindy scolded. (I suddenly remembered that Alice had mentioned her as being her older sister in this world. They _sort _of resembled each other, though Alice's hair was a much lighter yellow.) "Are you looking at pictures of drug paraphernalia again?"

Alice quickly pocketed her phone. "No."

"Yes you were!"

Ariel decided this was as good a time as any to butt in. She grabbed Alice's arm.

"Come on, Alice! Let's get to math! Mowgli, you can walk us if you'd like."

"No thanks," he said, still hanging upside down with his dark hair fluttering in the breeze.

Ariel narrowed her eyes at him. "Mowgli, get your butt over here."

Mowgli sighed and dropped down from the bleachers. He grabbed his backpack and walked up to them while Jim and Esmeralda laughed.

"Already whipped," Jim commented.

"We've taught him well," Esmeralda said.

"Shut up," Mowgli grumbled.

"Okay!" Ariel said, smiling sweetly at all of us. "Bye, everyone! See you at break, Shane!"

I smiled back at her uncomfortably and then looked at Meg and Tarzan. "Shall we?"

"Anything to get away from all these losers," Meg said.

We made it into the English building just as the first bell started to ring. Just going up the stairs, I could see some people staring at us and whispering. It felt a little like being ants in a glass ant farm, crawling around aimlessly while everyone surrounded and examined you.

"What are all you vultures looking at?" Meg snapped at them all. "Why don't you take a picture…it'll last longer!"

This got a bunch of eye-rolls and disgusted faces from the mostly female onlookers, who turned away from us as we passed them.

"Assholes…" Meg muttered.

One of the reasons I had wanted to enter the English building early was to hopefully run into Belle before class, but with all these people staring at us as we came to our floor, I decided it would be best to just go inside our classroom and wait for the period to end before trying to find her.

Meg and I started to head for our usual seats in the back but Tarzan sat right down in the middle of the front row, where he had sat when he was late on the first day of school. At the time, I had thought he only settled for that seat because it was the only one open, but here he was again, front and center.

"You don't wanna sit with us?" I asked him.

"I like the front," he said simply.

Meg shook her head and tugged on my arm. "There's no changing his mind. He's in love with Teacher."

Tarzan slowly turned his head to glare at her. "I am not in love with _anyone._"

"Uh-huh," she said. "Sure you aren't. I know you haven't gotten your forearms that big from thinking about rainbows and puppies every night."

"I don't get it."

"Brick wall," Meg said again. "Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. Except the wall has more personality."

Unfazed by her repeated insult, Tarzan just turned away from her and settled further down into his seat, tapping restlessly on the desk with his fingers.

We left him at the front and sat down in the back row as other students began to enter. It didn't take long for the whispering to commence, which of course got Meg all rankled up.

"Down, girl," I said to her. "Simmer down."

"Do you think I'll get in trouble if I just kick every single girl here in the throat?" she asked me.

"Yeah, kicks in the throat are pretty harsh," I said.

"Damn it."

I heard three chattering female voices approaching near us and in an instant, I became surrounded by three identical blonde girls. I recognized them from the first day of school as Gaston's groupies and I have to admit, each was pretty damn sexy on her own, but in a pack of three?

Lord have mercy.

"Oh my Disney, you're _alive?!" _asked the first.

"We heard you were _dead!" _exclaimed the second.

"Plugged into an oxygen tank on a _wall!" _added the third.

I heard Meg groan and say, "Why would they attach a dead person to an oxygen tank?"

The three girls ignored her. They started pawing my skin, touching my face and my arms and my hair, and patting my chest and shoulders.

"His skin feels normal!"

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Ooh, he has _muscles_!"

I started to laugh, not used to all of this fawning and positive attention.

"I'm sorry," I said, my mind swirling a bit. "Have we even met?"

"You don't know who we are…" said the first.

"…but we know who _you _are," continued the second.

"_Everyone _knows who _you _are," finished the third.

"Oh, give me a _break,"_ Meg said, but I couldn't see her (nor did I care.)

"I'm Shane," I said, extending a hand out. All three of them reached for it, then got annoyed at each other. I laughed and held out my other hand. The sister in red took one hand and the one in yellow took my other, but that left the one in green without anything to shake so she pouted. I released my grip of the first two and took her hand in both of mine, which caused her to smile happily and the other two to glare.

"Nice to meet you," I said.

"No, it's nice to meet you!" she said.

"I'm Claudia," said the one in red, pushing her aside.

"Laura," said yellow, bumping into red.

"Paula!" said the third, popping back in front of both.

"We're sisters!" they all exclaimed together after finding a happy medium of squeezing together as closely as possible to stay in front of me. I don't think I've ever seen so many boobs at one time straining to pop out right in front of my face.

It was a wonderful position to be in.

"Really?" I joked. "_Sisters? _I couldn't tell. You all look and sound and act so different…"

They all giggled profusely while I heard Meg make gagging noises.

"You're funny," said Claudia.

"You should be a comedian!" Laura agreed.

"You're _hilarious," _Paula sighed dreamily.

I could definitely get used to this kind of worship. I had never had fangirls before, and I wasn't sure exactly what I had done to get some now, but I wanted to keep it up.

"Can I, um, ask what sparked your sudden interest in talking to me?" I asked, trying to cover my confused curiosity with a casual tone. (Ten points for alliteration!)

"We heard you stood up to Frollo!" Claudia exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"And he tried to melt you with acid spray!" Laura added.

"But you're _invincible!" _Paula said, practically fainting from being so impressed.

Meg could take it no longer.

"_What?" _she cried. "I don't know where you heard _that _story, but you bimbos are out of your minds. I think your combined IQ's are less than your bust measurements."

All three of them proceeded to give her the stink eye.

"I think I can take it from here, Meg," I said. "Don't act like you were there."

"I _was _there!" she said. "I was one of the ones who helped drag your unconscious, blubbering, vomity body out of there. And believe me, ladies, there was nothing impressive about it."

"Unconscious?" Claudia repeated.

"Blubbering?" Laura questioned.

"_Vomity?" _Paula squeaked.

"_Ewwww!" _they all squealed.

I let my forehead slam down onto my desk. "Ugh."

Once again, just like the first day, Miss Porter entered the room just as the late bell was ringing.

"Take your seats, everyone," she said. "We have a lot to go over today."

The triplets all cast me an ambivalent glance before departing to their seats near the middle.

I, meanwhile, took the chance to give Meg a death-glare.

"The ninth circle of Hell is reserved for cockblocks," I told her.

"Yeah, well the tenth circle is reserved for cockteases and that's where those three are headed," Meg responded evenly. "So you're welcome."

"If they're cockteasing in Hell, send me packing," I said.

"Fine," Meg said. "Go to hell."

Miss Porter started to do roll call and when she got to my name, she looked up with a bit of surprise. "I'm glad to see you joining us, Mr. Barrera. I heard you had some troubles yesterday."

"I'm just glad to be here," I said.

"I notice you don't have a backpack with you," she said. "Or your copy of _Death of a Salesman. _Or a pen and paper, for that matter."

Frankly, after the previous day's difficulties, not having my stuff in English class was the least of my worries. Plus, I knew "Miss Porter" was a good guy in her movie, so I wasn't worried about pissing her off and getting shot with a staple gun or something.

"I lost them during yesterday's troubles," I said. "I'll get them back."

She actually smiled at me a little. "See that you do."

Then she continued with roll.

After class was over, I walked out with Meg and most of the rest of my classmates.

Unsurprisingly, Tarzan was lingering in the room to try to talk to Miss Porter about _something. _ He probably wanted to try and arrange some after school one-on-one tutoring sessions, if you catch my drift. Not that stuffy Miss Porter would be game. _Although, _when I considered how their movie turned out…hmm. Maybe he had a chance after all.

I got a minor thrill when the hot blonde triplets waved at me before descending down the stairs. Sweet. That meant Meg hadn't scared them off completely.

"I swear," she said to me, "if you start running around with cheerleaders and floozies, we can't be friends anymore."

"I was temporarily blind and bedridden yesterday," I said. "Every inch of my body felt like it was on fire. Let me enjoy some small victories."

"There he is!" exclaimed a familiar English accent.

I turned to see Wendy, Milo, and Belle coming out of their classroom.

"Ugh," said Meg. "I can deal with the bimbos myself but spare me the politicians. I'll catch you later, Tiger."

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," I said.

She ignored me and sauntered off just as the three class council members approached.

Wendy wasted no time in giving me a hug. Her perfume had a clean floral scent to it and her hair smelled like honey. It made me want to fall asleep to her reading me a bedtime story. (Which I was willing to wager she would do a bang-up job at.)

"I'm so sorry!" she said to me, still hugging me. "You poor thing! I couldn't believe what happened to you, I told my parents _all _about it! They were _not _pleased, to say the least. They almost called the school to complain."

"What stopped them?" I asked.

"Well they wanted to know a little more about you," she said. "Like, where exactly do you live?"

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "What does that matter?"

Wendy's eyes widened a bit, sensing that she had possibly offended me, and she took a step back, stammering, "Oh, it _doesn't¸ _of course! I mean, no matter _where _you're from, what Frollo did would be a terrible thing to happen to _anyone. _It's just, certain students from certain areas tend to get targeted more, unfairly or not…"

"Are you okay?" Belle asked me, cutting off Wendy's words. She searched my eyes closely. "After yesterday, I…"

"I'm all right," I said, feeling a weird and quiet wave of awkwardness coming over me. After all the events of the past 24 hours, it felt like a lifetime since I had seen her. And after thinking about my whole little tryst with Esmeralda the night before, it was a shock to the system to be gazing into Belle's hazel eyes and seeing her pretty face again. Interestingly enough, she herself almost looked a little guilty, if my inklings were correct.

But why, I wondered. What had happened to me wasn't her fault. Maybe she felt bad that she hadn't talked to me at all, but I was pretty sure that we had never actually gotten around to exchanging numbers. Plus, I wasn't exactly checking my phone during my bedridden delirium.

For whatever reasons we both had, we stood there not saying anything for a second, neither of us entirely sure why.

After looking back and forth at us a couple times, Milo finally broke the awkward silence.

"Uh, Belle, we probably shouldn't make him late for his next class."

"Oh, right," she said, perking back up. She suddenly thrust out my backpack at me. "I have your backpack."

"Oh," I said, looking down and taking it as though it were a foreign object I didn't recognize. "Thanks."

"Everything is still in it except for the, uh, bottle of alcohol you had in there. I didn't want to get caught with that stuff at school so I threw it out yesterday. Sorry."

"No, it's cool," I said. I had forgotten I had filled one of those with liquor before going on the walk that led me to this surreal adventure. "I don't need it, obviously."

"Oh, good," she said, nodding.

I smiled awkwardly. "Cool…"

"Right," she said.

"I'm, uh, glad you're doing all right, Shane," Milo said, trying to prod us along.

"_So_ glad to hear it," Wendy said, still trying to win back brownie points after inadvertently offending me. "You _have _to tell us what happened afterwards. I mean, unless you don't want to, of course. Only if you want to."

"No, it's whatever," I said. "I'll tell you, I don't care."

"Break!" Belle said suddenly. She pointed at me. "Break. We can talk at break and you can fill us in."

"Sounds good," I said, wondering if I had any obligation to hang out with the so-called Outcasts. I decided I didn't really.

"So we'll see you then," Belle said.

I nodded. "See you then."

She was about to walk away with Milo and Wendy as I started for the stairs when she stopped and said, "I'm glad you're okay."

I looked back at her and smiled, less awkwardly this time.

"Me too. Thanks."

Belle smiled back at me and then turned back to walk with Milo and Wendy to their next class.

I hustled down the stairs towards History with Professor Porter and felt a small inexplicable sense of relief. For whatever reason, I had the feeling that the rest of today was going to be pretty unremarkable; at least, as unremarkable as attending a high school in an alternate universe with your former favorite childhood cartoons whilst simultaneously trying to put yourself in position to have sex with some of them could be.

But still, I had a feeling I couldn't quite shake that I would be able to exhale for once and avoid any kinds of craziness for the first time since I had arrived.

Then again, I still had Ethics with Frollo coming up after History. And if I survived that, I wasn't sure whether I was going to try and go back to the Court of Miracles with the Outcasts after school or slink back to Ariel's studio for the night. If I did the latter, I knew I'd most likely have to try and resist her underage advances and also not die in an avalanche of her dead mother's art materials in my sleep. Both of those outcomes were probably not beneficial for my health but they were also most likely unavoidable.

As I entered History class, I couldn't help but sigh to myself. Maybe today had more surprises for me after all.

I just for one hoped it didn't.

**{Hello again, everyone. Not the most eventful chapter in the world, I know, but I think we could all use that chance to exhale and laugh a little, right? (Thank you, Meg.) I know a couple of you mentioned it might be nice to have a little lighter tone after how heavy the last few chapters were and it's funny because I was already way ahead of you on that one. It's actually why the last few chapters were so long in the first place. For example, I could have broken Chapter 20 in half and made it into two chapters instead of one, but I wanted to put us in position to move on from the whole pepper spray saga and its fallout as quickly as possible. Now we can progress a little past all the consequences of that unexpected detour.**

**That's not to say that there won't be any mention of it anymore. The 'Saturday school detention' punishment wasn't just a little throwaway deus ex machina…there **_**is **_**a reason Maleficent chose to let them mostly off the hook (and it mostly has to do with Aladdin…*spoiler alert*).**

**But that all brings me to a couple things. It was mentioned how 'angsty' this story is at times for a 'parody.' You're very right, but that's actually part of the parody itself. In fact, soon I'm probably going to change the story's description and genres, and replace one of either 'parody' or 'humor' with 'adventure' or 'drama.' While it's still definitely a comedic story in many ways, and will continue to be, there's a lot more going on than just shits and giggles, as is slowly being revealed. Twist! :p**

**The whole central concept of this story is that Shane enters his foolhardy mission thinking that everyone and everything will be stupid, shallow, and easy to just derp around on without having any real troubles or making any emotional connections. But little does he know, maneuvering through this world isn't just a cake walk of manipulation and the characters he's been coming across aren't actually all one-dimensional caricatures. (Or maybe they are, I guess that's up to you guys to decide whether I've succeeded in writing them to have any depth of character.)**

**So I must say, I will continue to blend the comedy with the more increasingly dramatic stuff because that's the whole point of the protagonist's (and the audience's) journey. But hopefully you're all still entertained with the balance of the process regardless.**

**Sorry this author's note is longer than the chapter itself, but one other thing I want to announce is that I was lucky enough to have one of my lovely lady friends rent "Tangled" from the local library (I didn't even know they still had libraries anymore…Belle would be so ashamed) and she was kind enough to watch it with me before work without beating me up (like my male friends would.) **

**It was surprisingly entertaining! (I found the music and some of the plot to be a little 'meh,' and the villain, though entertaining, also left a little to be desired, but overall, it was a pretty good flick.) I was surprised at how much I identified with the character of Eugene-I mean, Flynn Rider, as he would prefer to be called. His sarcasm, his humor, his misguided arrogance…it was great. Definitely on the same page as my own character. Anyway, I had already been planning on trying to figure out how to integrate Rapunzel and Flynn into the story after seeing how well-liked they are (and I hear you all clamoring for their inclusion), but after seeing the movie, I am happy to announce that they will both DEFINITELY be showing up. (Mother Gothel too, probably.) And, though it might not be until a bit down the line before they enter the story, I actually have a cool twist planned for Flynn's character.**

**Anyway, if you've managed to make it this far into this obnoxiously long note, I want to say thanks again for the reviews and keep letting me know what you think! I appreciate hearing from you guys and hopefully I will be able to update soon. Meg's diary is coming up and other fun stuff too. Later!}**


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